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There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
I slept like a baby last night -- woke up crying and wet myself.
Isn't it a pity that all the people who REALLY know how to run this country are too busy cutting hair and driving cabs? (Credit Groucho Marx)
"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."
"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)
"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)
Please visit my blog:
I thought we could add a chuckle or two to make us all smile. Great way to get to know one another is to have a good laugh...
.Anything happen lately to you that tickled your funny bone & your itching to give us a chuckle? A story or funny joke you've heard? Perhaps an exercise story or awkward moment?
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Slept like a log last night ........ woke up in the fireplace.
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu.
So I went, and I got it.'
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair
The Offiical Team
(¸.*♥ rory ♥ *´¨)
"Whoever drinks the water I give will never be thirsty;
no, the water I give shall become a fountain within him,
leaping up to provide eternal life."