I've had varying levels of fear.
I think the worst fear was my DDa when she was young (somewhere in the 4-8 range). She'd been not feeling well for over a month, but never anything more than a low grade fever. Several doctor's visits and nothing. Then suddenly one summer day the fever jumped. Driving to the hospital in a car with no A/C with it already roasting, and her burning up, inside I was so afraid of what it could be. So I sort of mentally shut it out and focused on doing the only thing I could - get her where she could be helped.
Turned out to be an infected and swollen lymph node in her neck. She was hospitalized for 4 nights with an IV the first couple for hydration and antibiotics.
A chronic fear I've had all my life is of being trapped in a place that is burning. (I've made the comment before I must have died in a fire in a past life, it's that strong a fear.) I don't even have to think about it any more - I walk into a building and I'm aware of every possible way to exit the rooms. The only apartment I have ever lived in that had only one exit was not my choice - we stayed with my mother-in-law for about 6 months - and EX and I slept near the door, but I hated worrying about how I'd get my DS from his crib upstairs.
The last fear is more general. I fear losing physical ability. I am very defensive as a pedestrian. I do not want to get hit by someone and lose my legs or my ability to walk. My foot injury, ankle, knees, and calf all hit me with that fear of being less able to get around. Similarly, an old injury in my arm has me fearing I might never reach the fitness level I want because of it.
Looking at all those, I think the thread that ties them all together - I don't let fear stop me from living. It does make me hesitate and evaluate risks, but I refuse to be cowed by it. I don't choose flight; I fight or I hold my ground.
| current weight: 185.0