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FLAMINGSKYE's Photo FLAMINGSKYE SparkPoints: (4,247)
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3/21/13 10:53 A

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Thanks everyone! I feel a little better since this morning I did get my workout in, and boy does my body feel it!

Thank you for your advice and support! I really need it. I was talking to my husband about last night when he came to bed and he turned it around so he was the "victim" by being misunderstood and he feels he is always in the wrong place lately. I heard what he had to say but he didn't really HEAR me. He heard the words but wasn't really hearing, you know what I mean? It was frustrating.

I have a free consultation at Curves next Tuesday so we'll see where things lead. Getting out of the house would not be a bad thing as right now, I have nothing to get me out aside from grocery shopping and picking the kids up from school. Other than that (and this will sound pathetic) I don't have friends to get together because they either work or don't feel like getting together. My hubs is always telling me that I need to get out more so maybe this is the answer.

We're under some stress because 1.5 weeks ago, our stove/oven caught fire. We are without it until the part is shipped to us. The company won't even think about scheduling an appointment or trying to speed things along until the part is at our house, in our hands. The part we need is on back order....

So, with no working stove/oven, it is hard to cook unless it is in the microwave or the crock pot. My husband took over cooking about a month ago to "lighten" my load so he is in charge of that. Part of my problem is, my husband is fairly picky, my oldest is picky and my youngest has a few things that he will actually eat as long as it has ketchup to go with it. My husband doesn't feel the need to cook a second thing just for me and complains if I want to make something for myself because it takes away from his relaxation time after getting home from work.

I am so ready for the stove to be repaired. I lightly sauteed some veggies on the griddle pan but they weren't the same.

Thanks again.



If you don't have to work for it, it's not worth having. The best things in life don't come free.


 current weight: 160.0 
 
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DONTNODIP's Photo DONTNODIP SparkPoints: (10,661)
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3/21/13 9:30 A

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Oh, and by the way, working out around the family is a fruitless effort. Better to slap on some weather appropriate clothing and go for a speed walk (yes, even at night). When you put daddy in charge while you do this, let daddy be IN CHARGE. Do NOT get sucked into the vortex of "that's not the way I do it... or the way little Bobby likes it done...or let me just do this one thing". A father is perfectly capable of supervising his sons for 40 minutes without input. Let him do it his way.

"I'll have what she's having."


 current weight: 173.8 
 
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DONTNODIP's Photo DONTNODIP SparkPoints: (10,661)
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3/21/13 9:03 A

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Hi Skye, I felt your MOTIVATION as well as your frustration while reading your post. I can only offer you the advice that worked for me. I hope it helps.

I always exercised regularly when my kids (2 kids, two and a half years apart) were young, I used to joke that it was the only thing that kept me sane. Gym babysitting was a godsend before they were old enough for pre school and then elementary school. I put on my workout clothes right out of bed, did our morning routine and then worked out. I also went to work 4:30pm-11pm. I was in great shape back then. Since my husband was not (and still is not) a neat freak my house was rather messy at times. So what? All that other stuff: laundry, dishes, bathroom scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming...it got done eventually. Fugheddaboutit! If you are the only one who is going to do those things (as I was) then do them in your own good time. Put your fitness and health first. Your hubby can not work out for you but he can wash dishes. If you leave them in the sink, maybe he will. emoticon

Next, I believe that it is a huge mistake to earmark food in the house. I had a really bad patch in my mid 40's when I stopped working out and started self soothing with junk food. I didn't (couldn't) have it in the house. Unbelievably I didn't hear one peep out of my family when I replaced the bad food with healthy food. When your hubby calls something a "Mommy" snack you should act confused, something along the lines of "Oh, these oranges are for everybody, not just for me." You are not putting your family (or yourself for that matter) on a diet. You are making your home a healthy place. Remember that when you are grocery shopping your are not buying their food and your food, you are buying the family's food.

I hope this helps. I love your enthusiasm for the process. Remind yourself daily that it is ok to make your fitness and health a priority!

emoticon

MJ From PA



Edited by: DONTNODIP at: 3/21/2013 (09:04)
"I'll have what she's having."


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MONAKIN314's Photo MONAKIN314 SparkPoints: (96,068)
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3/21/13 8:27 A

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It's rough. I don't have kids, but when I start out my DH was not on broad either. It got to the point they we were always fighting about it. Finally we set down and talked it out. I decide to change not to lose weight, but rather not to end up like my bio-mom with so many preventable health issues. I also pointed out that DH's family has some health issues that better eating and a more healthy lifestyle could have prevented. So we came up with a plan together to be more active, eat better, and be healthier. I know DH still has his snacks (I find the wrappers) and I exercise more. But I really think sitting down and talking it through help stop the fighting and while I am still dragging him along, he is no longer kicking and screaming along the way.

Good luck.

Monaca
Co-leader Starfish Team of Spring 5% Challenge - EDT

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
-Thomas Edison


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NELSONCHERYL59's Photo NELSONCHERYL59 SparkPoints: (21,891)
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3/21/13 6:01 A

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I so feel your frustration. But u have a lot of good awareness, insight and motivation. U can do this. We are all in simular situations, simular struggles. I do not have kids at home now, they are all grown because i am an old fart. But, my husband struggles to be supportive with my healthy eating and exercise, as do i.
i suggest u start small, as spark suggests, 10 minutes of exercise aday. That will not take much away from your other responsibilities and it will be something u r doing for u.
i tryto limit myportions of theunhealthy things my husband eats, and keep my healthy foods going in between, apples cut up and ready to munch, yogurt, cottage cheese, salad...
and tracking food is so helpful too...
i am rootin for u.
Small steps, u can do it. emoticon

Cheryl from pennsylvania


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CVWORKNPROGRESS SparkPoints: (14,424)
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3/21/13 5:17 A

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So sorry! I know, support really is so important, so it is that much harder when you do not have it at home. I have experienced that in the past (my husband too is not naturally thin, but not heavy either and all of my kids are very fit and active). This time though, I sat down at the very beginning with my family and explained to them my goals and why I needed to accomplish them. We all together discussed how to be healthier (being thin does not equal being healthy) and we decided to limit sweets to only Sundays and to stop buying chips, soda, etc. Since we all discussed it together and agreed together, now we all hold one another accountable. There were grumbles the first couple of weeks, but now, almost 7 weeks in, the kids last night requested their favorite kinds of yogurt and almond milk instead of candy or chips. My husband has discovered fruit and vegetable smoothies and that is now his snack of choice. Sorry if this is not helpful, but I thought by sharing what we did it might give you some ideas. Please feel free to reach out any time you need support, we are here for you!! emoticon

FLAMINGSKYE's Photo FLAMINGSKYE SparkPoints: (4,247)
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3/20/13 10:01 P

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Hey y'all. I am so motivated to exercise and eat right but...my hubby doesn't really do anything to support or encourage this. He keeps complaining that his pants must be growing during the night, or says that it wouldn't be fair to have "only mommy" snacks or food in the house. Our cupboards are full of processed and packaged foods. Somehow I am the only one who needs to lose weight. My husband is thin, my boys are very slender...and then there's me. I blame it on 2 c-sections, 4 pregnancies and being lazy in watching what I eat, a miscarriage and an infant loss.

This evening I told my husband that I really needed and wanted to exercise after I put the boys to bed. He said ok. It was getting late and instead of reading with our 9 yr old, he put on a show for them and then had him read his book. By then it was 45 minutes passed ttheir bedtime, I am trying to get our 5 yr old to sleep and between my hubs and my 9 yr old, they woke him up twice! Then I finally get the older one his cough mess and in bed. I went downstairs where there is enough space for me to actually do the workout and my hubs is plunked down on the sofa watching Tv and on the computer. Seriously? I have only gotten my exercise in 1 time this week. Once!

I try to do this in the morning when the boys are at school and hubs is at work but that hasn't happened this week because that is also when I need to get the cleaning and laundry done or I would be doing that stuff until late at night because the kids would want to help and my hubs would be home to point out what I missed and what still needs to be done.

This makes my hubs sound awful but he really isn't! He is a neat freak and is a great father and works hard to provide for us, takes care of us. It's just that I have no help or support from him when it comes to me trying to lose the couch potato me and get healthy.

I don't know what to do! I have to lose the weight because aside from being overweight, I am developing health problems. I want to be around to see my boys grow up, be an active member of the family! I am sick and tired of going for walks and being, sometimes, a full 1/2 mile behind everyone because I am out of breath and my bad knee hurts.

Help, please?

If you don't have to work for it, it's not worth having. The best things in life don't come free.


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