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CEDARBARK1's Photo CEDARBARK1 SparkPoints: (2,479)
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7/14/13 8:49 A

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Fascinating thread and discussion.

I guess you could call me a part time vegetarian/piscetarian, who avoids gluten consumption and textured vegetable/soy protein. I do eat meat, but I don't want factory farmed, and I can be quite content with a good healthy dinner of solid veggies. If I am being served food at someone's house, I'll eat what I am served (although I will usually decline the desserts, and I do have a nut allergy). When at a restaurant, unless it is farm to table, I will be vegetarian or piscetarian.

I don't want to decline what I am served at a formal dinner at someone's home, because if they do know I do eat some meat, I don't want to be forced into what they'll likely think is "snobbishness" for declining factory-farmed meat. I don't want to be put in a position of doing a lecture, or feeling like that's what I'd be doing. So I eat just enough to be polite. (I suspect it would be easier if I really WERE a vegetarian/piscetarian -- I think people better handle all-or-nothings, alas.)

I am cooking more vegetarian meals, and when I have full vegetarians over to visit, I am glad to cook vegetarian for them. I know that it is more than iceburg lettuce and rice -- I try to think what would fill ME, and provide that, to suit their dietary needs or wishes.

I have had people look askance when I decline to eat deli or other meats at buffets or pot lucks. I have vegans at other events upset when I do eat a meat item (that I may have brought myself or knew were it came from). I think a lot of this depends on the level of insecurity a person has about their own food choices -- although I do appreciate the point a couple people made earlier about growing up in an environment where older family members worked HARD to get some meat on the table, and feel it a personal rejection when it is declined.

My own problems with gluten are not Celiac or immediate, so I can eat some; so it is hard to decline desserts when those desserts are hand made with loving thought (rather than just purchased from a store, or made out of a box) - in fact, actually, the store-bought/boxed items really make me feel queasy about an hour after eating, so those are easy to decline. Immediate health effect... Again, though, I just accept the minimal amount of hand-made dessert to be polite.



Got rid of the ticker cuz my scale decided to flatter me unduly. I haven't re-gained, just got a better, honest, scale.

Just because you steam it, doesn't mean you can't add herbs and spices. (A gripe at those insipid restaurant "healthy choice" menu selections.)



My blog: goatsandgreens.wordpress.com
MORETHENAMOM39's Photo MORETHENAMOM39 SparkPoints: (12,172)
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6/26/13 9:51 P

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Wow, is all I can say after reading all the posts here. I am so lucky that my kids and extended family would be much more supportive then some of the ones I have read about here. My niece has been a vegan since she was 12 and she is 30 now and I have always been supportive of your choice and when I know she is coming over and there is going to be food I always try and make a few meatless options for her to eat. My mom was attending a church for a while until her health stopped her from going and everyone there was a vegetarian or vegan. My mom is not but she would go out of her way to make meatless dishes for the potlucks that they had at the church.. although none of them offered to bring something with meat in it for her.. she didn't mind and said that she enjoyed eating the things that they had there. My middle son tried to go vegetarian when he was in Jr High but found that he missed red meat to much. But I helped him look for information on eating healthy and cookbooks and even helped him make a grocery list so I knew what to buy for him. I think that what someone chooses to eat is a personal choice and God said " Judge Not Least Ye Be Judged". I personally am not a fan of red meat. I think it tastes like aluminum foil.. but I do enjoy pork and chicken and the occasional tuna sandwich. However, I don't eat much in the veggie department and am hoping to learn ways to include them in things without making them front and center. Any and all help is appreciated.


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CHELEPENA's Photo CHELEPENA Posts: 185
5/31/13 3:30 A

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today I only had one meal that involved meat and it was less than ounce....I am half Hispanic (Tortillas and Fajitas) and half White (biscuits and sausage gravy) so it is a struggle to completely be vegetarian but I am finding that I can have the one meal and make the other meals meatless or a soy option. My support system is not there in my family or in the community. There are more Mexican restaurants than people it seems and only one healthy grocery store and a few healthy places to eat but then you still have to be careful. But I am making it work for me.

Keep a smile on your face and laughter in your heart.- Michelle Martinez



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RUMBAMEL's Photo RUMBAMEL Posts: 1,954
4/9/13 7:11 P

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Carolyn,

I'm so sorry to hear you don't have a support system. It's so sad when people just can't let you do what you want. Not all "diet plans" work for everyone. My friend is a vegan and I know that just isn't for me. I love my dairy!!!! She is fine with that and we go to lunch and eat together just fine.

I hope things some day can work out. Here you are welcome. :)

rumbamel

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CAROLYNL8E's Photo CAROLYNL8E SparkPoints: (15,576)
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4/9/13 2:28 P

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I tried going vegetarian last year but realized that it was going to be a hard fought battle. My mother-in-law cried when I didn't eat her meal (they're greek and everything has ground beef in it). My parents gave me a hard time as well, saying that I had to eat meat for my health. And my strength. My husband doesn't understand that you can make complete proteins from a vegetarian diet by food combining, so when I talk about weight lifting he insists that If I want to see results I'm going to have to eat meat. I gave in and went flexitarian for a while then in November I just started eating meat again. I have depression, and the pressure to eat meat was too much. I'm trying again, but this time I'm not going to tell anybody what I'm doing I'm just going to go my own way, and cook meat meals for my husband and daughter. I'll make my own meals. When finally confronted by my inlaws I don't know what I'm going to say. :-(

"For a glorious future you must first transform the present"
Zen saying

"give up, give in, or give it all you've got" author unkown


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MILLIFRED's Photo MILLIFRED Posts: 672
4/7/13 8:54 P

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You know this is kind of funny; I am a member of a church where almost everyone is vegetarian and because I am not totally vegetarian or vegan people seem to want to convert me or make me feel guilty for eating meat. It works both ways. I have known a lot of vegetarians outside my church group so I don't think it is really that unusual any more

Millie, NW Arkansas in Central time zone


I am the bread of life;
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RATFINKROB's Photo RATFINKROB SparkPoints: (21,751)
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3/19/13 9:49 A

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I try not to make a big deal about it and just eat what I want and leave the rest. My daughter on the other hand loves to tell everyone that I am a vegetarian and to butt into conversations to let people know just how much I don't want meat on my plate. I went to a week long school camp with her and she had a loud conversation with the lunch staff informing them that cheese is not a vegetable so stop trying to serve it to her Dad. It was all I could do to stop from rolling on the floor, got to love her!

By the way you can stave to death trying to eat what they consider a vegetarian meal at a school camp. Really, just iceberg lettuce and cheese for lunch and dinner everyday!

Rob

I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth. ~Bernie Wilke
GFVEGANLIFE's Photo GFVEGANLIFE SparkPoints: (337)
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3/18/13 5:48 P

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I experienced that for first time this weekend. I have been Gluten Free and Dairy Free for a while now and I recently chose to be Vegan and I went to a dinner with a BEAUTIFUL spread of cured meats, cheeses and bread. So basically a table full of Cryptonite.

Someone noticed I was not participating in the appetizer feast ( i had a snack before leaving home knowing this was likely) and they yell "WHY ARE YOU NOT EATING", "ARE YOU VEGETARIAN?!" Then I got the starring from around the room to be put on the spot which of course someone felt need to say "WHAT?! YOU DON'T EAT MEAT?"

Oh boy, awkward! LOL I didn't know what to say I kind of avoided the situation because the minute you say "No, I don't eat meat" You wind up explaining why to everyone.

I have no problems telling someone, but being put on the spot is a bit overwhelming.




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RUMBAMEL's Photo RUMBAMEL Posts: 1,954
3/17/13 10:01 A

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Wow, I certainly hope he wasn't a worker! They are usually pretty cool about it. And knowledgeable, too.

rumbamel

Edited by: RUMBAMEL at: 3/17/2013 (10:02)
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VEGGIEMOMMA3 SparkPoints: (25)
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3/15/13 9:23 P

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Hi there. I am definitly new to this whole vegetarian thing. Not full force yet but making my way there, lol. Anyways I had to post here because the other day I actually had a guy comment on the fact that I ordered my burrito bowl from chipotle with no meat. People are weird sometimes. He was like "You aren't putting meat on that?!?" I said "nope, not feeling it today-thought I'd live on the edge a little" lol.

RUMBAMEL's Photo RUMBAMEL Posts: 1,954
1/20/13 11:46 A

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It's funny, when I tell people that I have gone Vegetarian, I also find myself telling them that I don't hate meat and think it's ok for people to eat it, it's just that I felt all bloaty and icky after Thanksgiving and decided to go at a different approach for a bit and it kind of stuck. Also, my sister has gone Vegetarian and my good exercise buddy is Vegan now. Sometimes I think about a good juicy stake or that amazing cheeseburger with Boursin cheese and bacon from Bravo, but then I think about what I may feel like afterwards. Nay!

I haven't lost any yet, if anything, I may have gained a few pounds! I haven't been completely healthy (colds) and haven't been able to exercise like usual either, so that maybe has played into it. Also, I have had a few sweets. Hopefully, when all the sweets are gone and my cold is gone I can go full force and see what the true results will be.

rumbamel

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CURVYCATHY1 SparkPoints: (1,334)
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1/17/13 3:25 P

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I know this is an old thread, but I just found it. I agree that a lot of people feel kind of guilty about eating meat, and think that anyone NOT eating it is criticizing them for somethign they feel a little ashamed about. But also, I have known some very preachy self-righteous vegetarians and vegans, who really do go out of their way to scold meat-eaters. That can sometimes tarnish the perception of all the perfectly innocuous, own-business-minders who happen to be vegetarian.

Not that vegetarians are the only, or even the worst, offenders -- I've known insufferable paleo, traditional foods, gluten-phobic, Zone Diet, and Atkins people too. Maybe I just know a lot of annoying self-righteous people!

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LILLITO's Photo LILLITO Posts: 166
6/21/12 4:15 P

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well in mississippi they seem to think pig is a vegetable, so that may be it here. :-)

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MRSJOCCO's Photo MRSJOCCO SparkPoints: (23,433)
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6/14/12 2:56 A

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Nah, he's great--I guess he thinks it bothers me. emoticon

Now you've got me craving a crawfish boil! emoticon

You are worth it!


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BARRISTER2011 SparkPoints: (21,257)
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6/14/12 1:58 A

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Mrsjocco- that is awful that fil does that. If he is from Louisiana that might explain . I live in Dallas and have a lot of friends from LA. Some of the older people peeps from tx and la can be some what close minded to new things.

I miss living on the east coast so that I can have fresh fish. I have to drive to central market to get it and it costs about $25.99 a lb.

I am able to get blue claws crabs and crawfish from la though. Nothing like a good crawfish boil or étouffée

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MRSJOCCO's Photo MRSJOCCO SparkPoints: (23,433)
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6/7/12 12:17 P

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AN OLDIE, BUT A GOODIE THREAD...

It is curious how people react, isn't it?

My f-i-l seems offended that I'm pescatarian ( emoticon ) and can't let it go. I've never made an issue of it and I will eat meat to avoid hurting the feelings of hosts and those that don't know I don't eat meat, but for some reason he can't stop making an issue of it.

It's kind of like I'm offending God for not eating everything available for consumption or something. His favorite joke is, "I'm a member of Louisiana PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals."

The thing is, since I've become veg, I lost 40 pounds, I'm no longer pre-diabetic (no more Metformin), my cholesterol is good (no more Lipitor), my acne is gone (no more BC pills for hormonal imbalance), my feet and muscles no longer ache or burn (no more neuropathy), and I've gone from a size 14 to a size 6. emoticon

The irony is that I became vegetarian to support my husband on one of his many attempts to lose weight--HIS SON, who was 200 pounds overweight.

Edited by: MRSJOCCO at: 6/12/2012 (20:44)
You are worth it!


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AJHONDRNGAL's Photo AJHONDRNGAL SparkPoints: (35,382)
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11/10/11 4:13 P

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Hi, I just joined and I'll introduce myself in a minute, but this thread really interested me. I think you've got one reason identified...they feel guilty or threatened when others eat differently than they do. I also believe that some people have such ties to food that they use it to show love. "Reject my food, you reject me" kind of thing. I've been learning alot about boundaries lately, and I see those issues when it comes to food. Some people love to control. Others can't say no (me). The best thing we can do is to kindly explain that we are eating this way for our personal health and leave it at that. Usually once I tell someone I'm working with a naturopath and he has recommended something by way of treatment, they leave me alone.

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BABAKAPUSTA's Photo BABAKAPUSTA SparkPoints: (17,347)
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11/9/11 1:28 P

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My husband demands meat at all meals except breakfast and sometimes then as well.

My daughter and I are laughing all the way to the dinner table because I have discovered that if I take a portobello mushroom and cut it up very small and brown it in a little oil I can pass it off as hamburger. I now have veggie chili, veggie, spaghetti, and very nearly veggie tacos and he can't tell the difference. He too is dropping weight and is very happy about it and he hasn't even changed his diet.

I'm afraid if I tell him the truth he will go back to his old ways and tell me how he really has hated my cooking recently, even though he has complimented my food. He's funny that way.



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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
11/7/11 4:32 P

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Hello from long-lost me! ;) I'm finding this recent conversation very interesting. I guess I'm lucky I happen to work with a bunch of people who don't eat much meat. In fact, I just found out our free-lunch providers were planning on switching to some different meatless burger because the demand was so great (too expensive maybe?). Many of us are choosing the "boca" burger instead of the other sandwiches simply because it tastes better and we prefer it (and some of us don't eat meat). They're not actually Boca burgers; they're Morningstar black bean chipotle burgers - I highly recommend them - very yummy :)

Another interesting little side note: My whole family eats meat. I eat anything but red, and not even a lot of white meat anymore either. Anyway, we've been making more really wonderful vegetarian meals at home, and no one is complaining! It's all so good! The other day my hubby mentioned that he's lost 18 pounds -- through no effort whatsoever, just by eating more vegetarian meals. (Yes, I find this pretty irritating that I've had to fight for every pound and he changes one thing and drops 18 pounds. Ugh! But I am happy for him :)

~JODROX~


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RATFINKROB's Photo RATFINKROB SparkPoints: (21,751)
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11/7/11 9:41 A

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I feel your pain on that one! I can't even count the number of times I have been told " you are such a girl", or something of that sort because I don't eat meat. Us big strong Texans are just supposed to drink and eat dead animals until we pass out.

Rob

I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth. ~Bernie Wilke
VANIAM1's Photo VANIAM1 Posts: 14
11/4/11 8:54 P

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There was one time when I went to a friend's house for home group ( church deal), and his wife made this pasta dish that was loaded with cheese and meat. When I declined to eat any she kind of got upset with me. I didn't understand why though she knew I didn't eat meat, and she knew I was coming. (This was before I started eating fish again.) I ended up taking half a spoon full to make her feel better.
The other time that I catch criticism is when I am around people who think only women are vegetarians, and if you're a guy saying you don't eat meat you're somehow less "manly".

Dues Pascit Corvos


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SWIMLOVER SparkPoints: (86,393)
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11/4/11 8:11 P

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My family likes to eat meatless meals a few times during the week. I don't have trouble with them. However, I find some of my friends get offended. I eat meat if I am over their homes but I order meatless meals if we are at a resturant. For some reason they start making excuses for why they are eating meat and I never comment on what food they are eating. I am not sure why people get upset when someone does not eat meat.

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JENN03275's Photo JENN03275 SparkPoints: (33,101)
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11/4/11 7:18 P

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My husband doesn't really care if I eat meat or not, as long as I eat some sort of protein. I still cook meat for him and out 2 sons and I eat the veggies, etc. I have been doing a medical cleanse for the past 3 weeks and one week was completely vegan. A week or so later, I tried eating chicken and was getting some aweful stomache upset. So, I am back to vegan/vegetarian for now with the exception of occasional fish because I have found that its not bothering me as much.

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VANIAM1's Photo VANIAM1 Posts: 14
11/4/11 7:13 P

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I am fortunate that the family I live with are okay when I cook a vegetarian meal. (Maybe one night a week.) They eat a lot of meat and are ready for change. I get most of the flack from people that are members of the various fraternities I am a member of, and some of the guys at work think it's weird. Usually when I tell them about how the change has made me feel so much better, and that I am off my blood pressure medicine they shrug their shoulders saying " I could never give up meat". I have long hair so they just call me a danged hippie and leave it at that.

Edited by: VANIAM1 at: 11/4/2011 (19:18)
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RATFINKROB's Photo RATFINKROB SparkPoints: (21,751)
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10/19/11 9:12 A

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My wife will not cook anything for me, she just cooks whatever she wants and if I want to eat I cook my own. That is why I love my crock pot! My meals cook themselves while I am at work and I have leftovers.

Rob

I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth. ~Bernie Wilke
MERAPHIS's Photo MERAPHIS Posts: 803
10/18/11 6:51 P

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Wow moonstonewolf, that's rough. Hopefully you'll be back in a supportive space soon!

I decided to become veg this past June, and although I told husby I didn't care if he was vegetarian or not, I do all the shopping and all the cooking, so he gets what I give him. I CANNOT imagine someone implying that I should cook 2 meals, or even an extra dish, so they can have it their way. Of course, it helps that when my husband met me, I could barely boil water, so now that I'm a fairly accomplished cook, he's getting it better than he ever imagined... no matter what I'm cooking!

Oddly, the only resistance I ever receive is from my clients, although why they should care what I eat is completely beyond me. I don't bring up my eating habits intentionally, but it does come up from time to time. Like when they say "Wow, you look great! How have you lost so much weight?" And I reply, "I took up running and became a vegetarian." They are usually baffled for a good 15 seconds, then proceed to justify meat eating. When I explain to them that the reason I became a vegetarian was because I learned about all the horrible things they do to your meat without telling you, they defend it even harder, which really cracks me up. I suppose they feel bad for feeding hormones, ammonia, "meat glue", and whatever else to their families. (I know I did... so I stopped!)

People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
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10/18/11 9:51 A

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I was actually told by my family members that I am an embarrassement to them because of my new lifestyle, losing weight and eating vegetarian. My Mother would feel the need to apologize to everyone "I didn't raise her this way." At the moment I live with her, until I can get my finances taken care of and can move out on my own again, it isn't easy. She threatens me because she says I stink up the house with my healthy food. I eat pretty much the same thing she does except I omit all the fat, salt and sugar and meat.

When you look into the eyes of the wolf,
You'll yourself reflected.
When you learn to embrace the wolf,
You Honor the teacher.

by MoonstoneWolf 1998.


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BONOLICIOUS2's Photo BONOLICIOUS2 Posts: 585
10/18/11 9:31 A

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I have found that people react negatively because it makes them feel bad or question their own habits. The reactions I see are especially bad with people who routinely eat junk and are in denial of that being a problem.

I hate to say it, but my mom is one of the loudest mouths I have had to deal with on this. My mom doesn't take care of herself and eats whatever she wants. At every family dinner now, she calls me out on my weight loss and eating habits. It comes out kind of condescending like "Oh, don't give her that, she's doing the HEALTHY thing." I honestly believe it is because she has some internal conflict because I am doing, well, the healthy thing.

I feel like your choice to be vegetarian should be like politics and religion - try to avoid talking about it, feel free to disagree, but don't force your opinions on me. If I encounter any issues, I simply state "It is my choice, if you have any questions let me know."

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GLC2009's Photo GLC2009 Posts: 1,305
7/14/11 1:31 P

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holey moley, some folks are extreme. i feel for ya all with your "interesting" loved ones. who knew people could be so dictatorial (?) about what someone else eats, especially when they want you to eat poorly. emoticon
though jmp, you reminded me of one visit with my in-laws after my mil developed alzheimers. we were visiting and about to leave when she decided i looked hungry ??? she jumped up and made me a plate of leftovers and nuked them and brought them out for me to eat. only me, no one else. i didn't know what to do. i don't remember what was on the plate. there were potatoes for sure though. i'm not a real left over boiled potato fan.
but, not knowing what else to do, i sat and ate most of it, much to my dh's amusement. and trust me, i was not remotely hungry at the time. ah, what we do to keep the peace emoticon

Gail


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YELLOWDAHLIA's Photo YELLOWDAHLIA SparkPoints: (86,605)
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7/14/11 10:46 A

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In my world nobody pays any attention to what I eat. And even if I were to verbally point out that there is no meat on my plate I don't think anyone would care. In fact they would probably be happy- more meat for them! :o)

**LINDA**

Weight loss is accomplished with the mind.


A person who wants something WILL find a way....a person who doesn't will find an excuse.

Which do you prefer?
The pain of self discipline?....or...the pain of self regret?






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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/14/11 10:38 A

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This is all SOOOOO interesting!

FWIW, I don't think meat is the enemy. I think a healthy diet can include meat, even red meat (though I'm not eating it now). Just choose lean cuts and pay attention to serving size. I shouldn't say that in this group :)

We have purchased, not a whole cow, because we don't have a big freezer, but some portion thereof -- a quarter, I think. The reasoning is: It's better to know where your meat is coming from AND cheaper than buying 1 lb. at a time at the store. If you eat meat and you have a local farmer you trust, it's really a smart way to go.

I do feel bad for everyone with unsupportive friends and family. I get the occasional comments too, but they're not so extreme. More than anything, I think my family is perplexed, but I don't make a big show of it, so they make their little comments and we move on :)

~JODROX~


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ERIKA05's Photo ERIKA05 Posts: 245
7/14/11 9:40 A

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Wow, seeing some of the posts here, I realize that I have it easy!
emoticon
I mean, yeah, my husband's family rags on me pretty thoroughly, but for the most part I think it's intended "all in good fun" and (again for the most part) I try to treat it that way. I find it is a little hurtful when my mother in law implies that I don't care about feeding my husband a proper diet because I don't bust out a roast every day, but I can usually shut that line of discussion down by pointing out that there actually isn't a *law* against a man going to the grocery store and buying something to cook for himself if he isn't happy with the perfectly nutritious, prepared-from-scratch meals his wife puts on the table.

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I have no good comebacks for a significant other who pressures you to eat what they eat, though, that must be amazingly hard to get past. I'm sorry, IAMIAM, that your SO feels she has to resort to nastiness simply because you want to eat differently - I hope she'll come around, since you clearly love her as she is, heavy or not, and you deserve the same support from her. For what it's worth, I admire and envy your restraint - I would blow my stack in about 5 seconds (my in-laws would say it's because not getting enough meat makes me crabby - lol).



"I will run, until there's no one left to run. I will love, until there's no one else to love." - The Dears


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RATFINKROB's Photo RATFINKROB SparkPoints: (21,751)
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7/14/11 9:18 A

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My side of the family is all very over weight and buy whole cows straight from the butcher to put in the freezer. I don't visit often, but when I do they are very rude about my choices of food. My sister actually told me I need to change my ways because I eat crap!

My wife on the other hand is just looking out for me. She has always been thin and eats small amounts all through the day. She eats sweets and meat everyday but in very small portions. I really think she just thinks I am being to extreme and hurting my health. My Dr. thinks I am the best patient ever, my cholesterol and blood pressure are both back to normal.

Rob

I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth. ~Bernie Wilke
IAMIAMIAMIAM's Photo IAMIAMIAMIAM Posts: 4,347
7/14/11 7:08 A

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With my partner I think it is a combination of things is why she does not like me being a vegetarian. I do think the main reason is because she is a very heavy person and it makes her feel better if I not only eat meat, but eat all the sweets and junk food she buys. She gets all this unhealthy food and then gets angry when I wont indulge like she does. I don't say anything to her about it and when she makes her nasty remarks, I just ignore them. It isn't easy as she can get very nasty about it. She still gets what she wants no problem.

That is my way of dealing with her nastiness. I either act like I did not hear her or if she gets real insistent, I just shrug my shoulders and say, Oh Well and walk away.


"Be grateful to everyone, as they are all teachers"




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DIANA_IS_BACK's Photo DIANA_IS_BACK Posts: 487
7/14/11 6:50 A

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Oh... you need to know my in-laws to truly appreciate the situation.

Yes, they are completely insistent on fried, cheesy, fat laden, food. And dessert is a MUST with every meal. Not fruit, heavens no...... cake, ice cream, caramel... bowls of caramel, not pieces.

My mother in law was so offended when I made myself brown rice and did not eat her white rice. I married into a Colombian family and white rice is a staple with ever meal. Oh, another fact, my DH and I are her caregivers. Yep, I live with an 80 year old Colombian woman with Alheimer's who insists on fried, cheesy, sugar coated food at every meal.

I have gained 70 pounds since I mived here in 2005. I was already obese, but I am over the top now. Anyway, regardless of the situation, I am fading meat out of MY diet. I can't do it anymore. I feel myself getting sicker and sicker and I know it is the diet.

Diana

There is no elevator to success- You have to take the stairs!


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GLC2009's Photo GLC2009 Posts: 1,305
7/14/11 12:34 A

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keep your arm wrapped around your plate, head low and growl if anyone looks at it. no, wait, that's jail emoticon
nope no good ideas.
i'm a believer in people treat you the way you train them to treat you and no one in my life would get away with that crap emoticon

Gail


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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/13/11 11:35 P

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Has anyone found any good strategies for dealing with those inevitable negative comments?

~JODROX~


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GLC2009's Photo GLC2009 Posts: 1,305
7/13/11 11:33 P

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people being truly offended by what you eat or don't eat.....weird.

i can't imagine being around people like that. jmp726, i feel for you, truly. there's alot of things in life to be offended by and there's alot of true problems. caring that someone is putting different food on their plate then you, is just looking to create problems out of nothing.

unless, of course, they eat crap and you are worried about their health. i know i have a very fat friend and i have eaten lunch with him once. he chose poutine fries and some other greasy something and a large regular coke. have to admit, it was hard to keep my mouth shut. he smokes too. man, i just want to shake him!! wake up darlin'!!

but, someone eating healthy (or what they think is healthy) cheer them on, don't berate them.

Gail


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DIANA_IS_BACK's Photo DIANA_IS_BACK Posts: 487
7/13/11 7:26 P

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Also, I have found with my in-laws as well as my family, they are truly offended. It is as though I am rejecting them by not wanting to eat everything they do.

Like I said, I am just making the transition, but even with me cutting back, I am getting alot of negative comments.

Diana

There is no elevator to success- You have to take the stairs!


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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/13/11 5:12 P

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Really good points, Erika. IIRC, in Michael Pollan's book he wrote about how meat in other places in the world is more like a condiment, not the main thing. Here, so often, it's the main thing -- a huge giant slab of it! Like you said, there are economic reasons for it... and sometimes personal preference when $$$ isn't the issue.

~JODROX~


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ERIKA05's Photo ERIKA05 Posts: 245
7/13/11 4:24 P

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Actually, in response to Diana's post, meat *used to be* a luxury that only the rich could consistently afford. When my grandmother was growing up on a family farm in the wilds of Northern Ontario in the 20s, even though the family raised beef cattle, they couldn't afford to put meat on the table every night, or at least not the way we do today. She was fond of reminiscing with her 10 (!!) brothers and sisters about how her mother could make a single chicken last a whole week. It's only relatively recently (as in, the last 50 years) that the growing middle class in North America has demanded meat every day and practically with every meal. More intensive farming systems and larger and larger farms have also meant that the price of meat relative to other food products has come down considerably over the last century, making meat affordable for the majority rather than a select few. We're now seeing similar patterns as the middle class in emerging economies like China and India is growing and growing, driving the demand for meat in these countries.

Sorry for all the exposition here emoticon but I think these factors also contribute to the "why" some people are offended when others don't want to eat meat, or at least not eat it regularly. My Gran was more than a little peeved that neither my Mom or I was much interested in eating meat, because her and my Grandfather's ability to consistently put it on our family's table, night after night, was a point of pride and a symbol of financial stability and comfort that they had worked really really hard to achieve. Similarly, my mother-in-law insists that my husband "needs his meat" to "keep up his strength" because it was the central showpiece of any meal worth having when she was growing up - the obligatory starch and overcooked veggies were just an afterthought.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ........ ummm.... emoticon emoticon emoticon ?
I think that people's values and unconscious value judgements have a lot to do with how they perceive food and the approach to food.

Edited by: ERIKA05 at: 7/13/2011 (16:25)
"I will run, until there's no one left to run. I will love, until there's no one else to love." - The Dears


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MACKANDME's Photo MACKANDME Posts: 6,103
7/13/11 4:03 P

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Ya we do that too. If my son wants to add meat, he has to cook it himself.
And if he wants meat on the grocery list, well he better come grocery shopping!
(which he hates by the way)

~Michelle Macari in St George UT~ Lifestyles of the fit and meatless!
What is it that should trace the insuperable line?… The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer? —Jeremy Bentham (1748–1832)
A dead cow or sheep lying in the pasture is recognized as carrion. The same sort of carcass dressed and hung up in a butcher’s stall passes as food. —J. H.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUMUvYLC5iM
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GLC2009's Photo GLC2009 Posts: 1,305
7/13/11 3:42 P

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sure doesn't bother anyone around here if i don't eat meat. for my husband it just means more steak for him.... emoticon
as for making two meals. why won't the meat eater eat the same meal as you and then just add a piece of meat?
when you're the cook and grocery shopper you have the power. my husband gets what i make and he's lucky i add some meat for him.
if he doesn't like it, he can buy what he likes or go get a burger at wendy's.

Gail


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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/13/11 3:40 P

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Right. It makes people -- some people -- uncomfortable when you turn down the birthday cake. I think they think "Oh jeez, I shouldn't eat it either, but I want it,and watching you not eat it makes me feel guilty."

~JODROX~


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MACKANDME's Photo MACKANDME Posts: 6,103
7/13/11 3:27 P

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I was raised on meat an potatoes also.

But to answer the original question:
I think the meat eaters think it makes them look weak or bad and therefore they would feel better if we ate meat too.

I think it is the same with regular food too. We all have weight issues right? Well have you ever gone to lunch with an equally weight challenged person? But where they order the burger, you order a chicken salad? Well that makes the burger person feel the same way the meat eater feels.

That is just one interpretation.

The bottom line is that people need to stop, reflect and respect all others.

~Michelle Macari in St George UT~ Lifestyles of the fit and meatless!
What is it that should trace the insuperable line?… The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer? —Jeremy Bentham (1748–1832)
A dead cow or sheep lying in the pasture is recognized as carrion. The same sort of carcass dressed and hung up in a butcher’s stall passes as food. —J. H.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUMUvYLC5iM
White Phoenix


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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/13/11 2:15 P

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Good luck, Diana! I agree - a lot of it stems from how we are raised. For me growing up, every meal had meat and bread/noodles/potatoes, usually a vegetable of some sort, and usually a jello-type salad :)

~JODROX~


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DIANA_IS_BACK's Photo DIANA_IS_BACK Posts: 487
7/13/11 12:17 P

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I just made the decision to make the transition to a Vegetarian lifestyle.

My husband is less than thrilled about this because he is under the impression that the only way you an get protein is with meat and he really does not see any advantage to eating vegetable at all because that is the way he was raised. For whatever reason, his mother taught her children that meat makes you strong and vegetables are for poor people who can't afford meat. (this woman has issues, don't get me started)

Anyway, he is less than thrilled with my choice, but says he will support me as long as he gets his food the way he always has. I guess I will be cooking two meals.

Diana

There is no elevator to success- You have to take the stairs!


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JODROX's Photo JODROX Posts: 1,329
7/13/11 11:03 A

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I think we've all experienced this, when friends and family try to get us to eat meat or try to put forth an argument why it's dumb that we don't eat meat. There are probably lots of different reasons why they do this. Why do you think it is?

Off the top of my head, I think it's because they think you're making a moral statement about meat eating, by not eating meat. So they want to prove to you that there's nothing wrong with it.

Also, people don't like change. For people who grew up eating every kind of meat, the thought of giving that up can be disturbing. Perhaps they never thought about it before, and here, by you not eating it, it makes them think about it. Why *wouldn't* you eat meat??? They don't want to think about it.

What other reasons can you think of?

~JODROX~


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