Its really hard not to punish yourself when you feel like you have failed. I find, in "failure", the need to be hard on myself and my old habit, my comfort zone, is to cope by self-injury. Its like a strange release. I know that it is difficult to break this habit, to find other means of coping, but its an uphill battle every day to remind myself that failure is human, that falling short of a goal is human, and does not mean I'm a failure in itself, but did not meet my goal that day. I guess I'm struggling with accepting that, and not listening to old thoughts, old habits. I want to be healthy, and have healthy means of dealing with failure and stress. Its hard when you've become so comfortable using something so destructive. I'm ashamed of it, people don't really understand and therefore, shy away from you; which in turn makes me feel alone in my struggle.