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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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7/20/14 8:12 A

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I haven't managed to be AF much - but I'm here and aware. I know the reason I'm drinking is all the uncertainty now surrounding me and the fear of change in some ways. I'm going to see another place today. It's making me realize how NICE this place I'm currently in is and makes me sad to have to leave it - but then again - the other place is near some amazing places like a beach and another place with falls - both things I adore! I have to weigh out the 'material' versus the spiritual benefits.

Real Name: Helene

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SCRUMPTIOUSK's Photo SCRUMPTIOUSK SparkPoints: (27,298)
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7/20/14 5:32 A

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I agree it's great being able to post so openly without fear of judgement. I broke my AF last night:( I feel horrendous now, my kidneys are aching and I feel c$*p... My relationship isn't going great and I've had to communicate with my ex husband which I hate!! Got sparkling water in fr tonight x

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JUST_BRENDA's Photo JUST_BRENDA Posts: 1,718
7/15/14 9:13 P

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Thanks Carol,
I hope to awake as a SANE PERSON tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!!!

Brenda


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CAROL_31649731's Photo CAROL_31649731 Posts: 1,192
7/15/14 8:21 P

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Oh Brenda. Wow, that was sooo honest & clear. Isn't it wonderful , though, that we have this wonderful forum, to share, vent, and come to for support! Nothing else like it, in the real world. Sending you lots of hugs . . . sorry you're going through so much. emoticon


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JUST_BRENDA's Photo JUST_BRENDA Posts: 1,718
7/15/14 7:04 P

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OMG, raising teenagers!!!
My three teens are just being who they are and where they are at, but I find a ton of unpleasantries lately.
My oldest will be leaving "forever" to join the military as an officer. She's made a 10 year commitment. We are "dropping her off" in two weeks. I'm sure she's in some kind of mild anxiety/panic/sadness mode that she doesn't even recognize because her mood has been quite B1tchy. She'll also be losing the regular communication and friendship with her best friend: her twin. Very different dynamics that will require a huge adjustment.
Today, I picked up my youngest from a specialized day camp. Basically, we're pay over $300 for the week and the main activity is to make a computer game. When I pick him up the "program director" asks me how's the camp going... I have no idea other than the first day was kinda rough. On the way home I find out that my son doesn't know what he's doing and they aren't helping him (and it doesn't help that he refuses their help because it's embarrassing) so he sits and does nothing while waiting for everyone else to finish.
Anyhow, I'm furious by the time I get home, and call but no one is there. So I have to interrupt my work day tomorrow to deal with these people in person. Why did they not say anything to me earlier other than ask a general question??? Honestly, I get so tired being between my son and teachers/instructors --- it's such a difficult task to find out the FACTS of what's going on... he doesn't talk to me (and has a very one-sided view when he does.) and the adults don't really seem to give much of a cr@p!!!
Yesterday, I wanted to "turn over a new leaf" and started a more challenging workout program, and was AF for the first time in a long time. I had full intentions to stay on track today too, but after this happened, broke my AF and started eating all kinds of cr@p (no, not literally, that would be gross emoticon )
Honestly, I think I try to keep my "chin up" about supporting my son through his life (he's only 12) but I am deep down dismayed that this is a never-ending job and my husband can do little else other than listen to me (which is huge compared to some other fathers). I can honestly admit that I drink alcohol to help numb me and my feelings, even though I know it's not a good solution: it hurts my health, and may even jeopardize my livelihood some day.

Oh boy, that was honest and clear... something I could state on SP, but not to my real life friends emoticon
but let's face it, all of us go through things from one time or other...
Tomorrow is a new day...


Brenda


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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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7/14/14 9:49 P

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Well I managed to stay AF too today!! And I went to a counseling session and she suggested I attend an "Overeaters Anonymous" meeting because of the community/support group (in person) it would offer. I told her I hesitated about the AA thing because I don't view myself as an alcoholic (although the number of drinks I consume in a week - by any professionals' standard would be a BIG red flag), this meeting is structured in the same way - 12 steps... I figure I have nothing to lose because yesterday I BINGED big time on FOOD. It's all emotional eating/drinking and if I can get rid of the 'garbage' that triggers it - I can then be on my way to being healthier for GOOD!

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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SCRUMPTIOUSK's Photo SCRUMPTIOUSK SparkPoints: (27,298)
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7/14/14 3:53 P

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Helene,

I never thought having a teenager would so hard - i am lost with mine - I keep trying to rise above her moods, sullenness & unwillingness to let me in despite me seeing her in so much emotional & mental pan.

So I understand the need for a drink! I challenged myself tonight to go into the supermarket to get a few bits without going to the alcohol aisle!! God I was tempted but then I thought of posting on here!!

I walked out with my head high! No booze and ready to tackle tomorrow!! X

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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7/13/14 11:48 A

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I need accountability too SCRUMPTIOUSK - I have been drinking pretty much daily again and in anyone's measure other than my own it would be to excess and I know it has to stop - but dealing with my teens leads me to gravitate to the alcohol to numb the stress and pain of it all - when it fact it does not help.

I have been hibernating - unwell and feeling lost again - like this vicious cycle I am stuck in and I need to get out once and for all. Going back to see a counselor for myself next week and may even look into support groups and perhaps even explore AA.

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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7/12/14 7:31 P

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It's been a whiles!! Right I need accountability ! I am now drinking 4 nights out of 7...no more but no less...My intake is not excessive... my 13yr old is struggling with life which means I, in turn, struggle to..tired of being tired, existing daily and being 2 stone 10lb over weight :( the alcohol needs to go not just to get back on track but to help my emotional health xx

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CAROL_31649731's Photo CAROL_31649731 Posts: 1,192
7/9/14 12:47 P

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That's interesting, Helene . . . thanks for sharing!

Sometimes you do just need a change. And you are just the right, determined person to do it . . . . go for it! emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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7/8/14 8:51 A

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My Angel Reading for this week very a propos about me needing to truly abstain and detox for a while...

It's a powerful week for you, as you make important positive shifts! You may feel guided to detox at the beginning of the week, and you'll have heavenly support so that you crave more healthful foods and beverages. This detox leads you to face feelings, take a personal inventory and realize which situations and relationships are toxic and need healing or letting go, Facing these situations and feelings head-on allows you heal and improve everything! You'll lose the fear of what others may think, and begin to express your creativity in new and exciting ways . .. which attracts new friends and business opportunities.


It's time for a CHANGE.

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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7/1/14 8:09 P

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Thanks for the goodie and words of support Elle! I did it - I stayed AF - although I did cave in to MacDonald's... after which I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" - which was truly inspiring. I think once I have a week of being AF under my belt I'm going to consider doing a 10 day juice fast. I think my body can definitely use the reboot!

Oh - and while I watched the video - I did one hour of exercise emoticon

Edited by: SEPTEMBERSPIRIT at: 7/1/2014 (20:09)
Real Name: Helene

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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,330
7/1/14 6:12 P

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You can do this Helene. Stay strong and think of how great you will feel in the morning!
You got this girlfriend emoticon

xoxo elle~


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7/1/14 3:50 P

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I am really struggling today- would be day 3 AF. I am tired from so little sleep the past two nights with the heatwave. I am having hot flashes, headache because of the temperature change and I am CRAVING drinks - not just one either. My kids are gone out - I'm alone here on Canada Day - talk about the whole HALT theory - I think I'm feeling every one of them. I can't sleep it's too hot. I can't do anything productive like clean or exercise because it's too hot and I don't feel well. So I may cave - to some not so great foods, but I guess if I don't drive out to go get drinks or a drink - it will be a success... I'm just not feeling really good about it today. I'm not sure where I will end up - it's now almost 4.. and I'm debating about going for a drive... if for nothing else than to cool off.

Edited by: SEPTEMBERSPIRIT at: 7/1/2014 (15:51)
Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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2/25/14 12:39 P

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I needed to read it too with a few too many days in a row of NOT exercising, and overeating/drinking. It's all about focusing on that 'end' goal for me and visualizing the weather when I will be wearing a bathing suit... which will be in May for me when I go to Barbados. I have to keep seeing that picture when temptation comes calling and replace the craving with some pushups or some kind of sprint exercise to change my thoughts. Imagine if we exercised every time we had a craving?!

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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WONDAWOMAN2's Photo WONDAWOMAN2 SparkPoints: (685)
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2/25/14 12:01 P

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Thank you, Helene, for this thread. I am indeed bouncing back from last night, where I had 3 glasses of wine. Pretty unusual for me to have that much. I feel pretty blicky this morning. I bought wine and sushi dinner, and my daughter and I watched "West Side Story" (we're theatre nerds) all in celebration of good news I received from my tax guy. (I'm getting a refund--woohoo!) So I felt like celebrating. But now I am beating myself up.

Reading your words about stopping that downward spiral are very helpful to me this morning. I have goals for myself, my body, my health, and I feel good about achieving them. I love how regular exercise makes me feel so good. I hate how too much wine messes with my sleep cycle, makes me look puffy, etc. I look forward to being MOD and only having a bit of wine here and there.

Today, I'll drink lots of water to flush out my system and try to get a little exercise in. Maybe another cuppa to wake myself up some more. And tomorrow is a new day!

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CARMRUN's Photo CARMRUN SparkPoints: (13,862)
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2/10/14 10:58 A

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Thanks for sharing. A great idea!

Carmen


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CAROL_31649731's Photo CAROL_31649731 Posts: 1,192
2/5/14 12:44 P

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Nice idea for a thread, Helene. And nicely worded . . . I may have to come back here once in a while, as it will be helpful to re-read when those situations happen--and unfortunately that's a given. Thanks for sharing!! emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,567)
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2/5/14 8:08 A

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From today's Spark Coach - I felt it warranted sharing (be sure to check the new link I posted too - SP PANIC! Button for Immediate Help in the "Results" forum). www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageb
oa
rd_topics.asp?imboard=32


While the write up speaks to mostly 'food' stuff, I think we can relate to it with respect to drinks too!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Think back to the last time you made a mistake on your journey. Perhaps you were too busy at work to eat lunch, causing you to binge later on due to extreme hunger. Maybe you chose to hit snooze and skip your morning workout. Or perhaps you went on vacation, attended a party, or traveled for work and didn't make the best choices about what to eat. Whatever happened last time, take a moment to think about the situation--and how you responded afterward.

Did you decide that you had "blown it" and that you'd might as well keep spiraling downward away from your goals? Did you concede that you were a failure and take another few days (or even weeks) before "getting back on track" again?

Somehow, when we're in the moment, these ideas make sense to us. If you overeat by 300 calories, you decide you'd might as well keep going to turn it into 500 or even 1,000 excess calories. But thinking about it now, you probably realize just how illogical that rationale is, right?

These situations are a part of life. And they are going to continue to creep in and affect your goals. There will always be parties, travel, stress and busy periods that make it hard for you to stick to your ideal plan. And you're human, which means that you will make mistakes. But what defines you and your lifestyle is how you approach, react to, and move on from these mistakes. Of course, the smartest and best thing you can do is to simply accept the mistake, learn from it, think about what you did and how you could try to do it differently next time--and just move forward. Don't let the downward spiral continue. One step back, two steps forward, remember? This is a crucial skill to develop in order to stick to your plan for the long term.

So next time it happens, remember this coaching session. Take a deep breath. Forgive yourself. And choose to move forward in the right direction.

Edited by: SEPTEMBERSPIRIT at: 2/5/2014 (08:12)
Real Name: Helene

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