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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,666)
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1/5/14 8:11 P

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Thank you ladies and as I blogged tonight - I'm going to shift my focus off the alcohol issue and if I drink I do - but as I align with my goals/wishes, chances are it will not happen. It definitely has been a crutch for me to numb some of the pain - but I know it is not the answer. As you say - one thing at a time... This too shall pass.

Real Name: Helene

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JGRH206 Posts: 250
1/5/14 3:31 P

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Helene, I recognize that I'm a master of "because I deserve this...drink, chocolate, whatever. But in your case, right now you do. If having a couple of drinks helps you get through this truly miserable time, so be it. You can always figure the alcohol thing out later. If this sounds like enabling, then so be it. One thing at a time, kids always come first. My best thoughts are with you.

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1/4/14 9:13 P

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Helene, I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma and tragedy your daughter has faced. The pain - both hers and yours - must seem unfathomable right now. I wish you both continued healing.

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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
10/18/13 11:37 A
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oh helen, I am so sorry for your family....that must have been so hard to hear and I know how badly you feel for her. She trusts you and that is good.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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MELISSIMAUS's Photo MELISSIMAUS SparkPoints: (22,957)
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10/18/13 10:49 A

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Oh, Helene. I'm so sorry. How hard for your whole family.

emoticon

You know what, though? It is amazing that she told you. That sounds like a very strong level of trust. You've been working so hard to be the best mom you can, and make sure your girls have the support they need. It sounds like that has helped your daughter to open up to you.

It's very hard to believe how many girls are sexually assaulted in some way. I know very few of my close friends managed to make it to adulthood without some damaging experience. This is something that we don't talk about, like Emily said. But it's real, it happens, and being able to trust your mom is huge. I've never told anyone in my family about something that happened to me when I was 9. The fact that your daughter could talk to you is heartening.

Many hugs. You will get through this, and we're here to listen whenever you need it.

Melissa
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10/17/13 10:27 P

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oh Helene!
You are such a good Mom- well I lived with being raped for a week and then finally told my Mom and all she did was say we won't tell your Dad- and the thing is the guy was legally an adult- don't mean to make this about me but the thing is that I know- really know you feel for her and are going through so much with this as it is your daughter.
Wishing your daughter healing emoticon

~~~ Emily~~~
"If you want RESULTS they don't come for free" J.M.
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CAROL_31649731's Photo CAROL_31649731 Posts: 1,203
10/17/13 10:16 P

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emoticon Oh, Helene . . . they need to devise an emoticon of a heart breaking emoticon emoticon

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10/17/13 8:21 P

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Oh, goodness. This is the first I've heard of this. I'm so sorry for you and especially your daughter. At least you are now able to help her.

xoxo

xoxo elle~


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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,666)
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10/17/13 7:39 P

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I caved again tonight... the news from my daughter - while I know it's not an excuse ... I do feel better with a few drinks in me. I swear this news - sinking in now - feels like I'm living a dream - or a nightmare. Heartbroken... to hear that your own daughter was sexually assaulted, got pregnant and miscarried and did not tell you anything about it until 2 years later... No wonder the poor thing has been so messed up - depressed, anxious, etc.

Real Name: Helene

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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
10/17/13 5:56 P
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nina, hoping that you are feeling some what better now that you have shared here. recognizing that you are not happy is a place to start.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


 current weight: 150.5 
 
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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,666)
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10/16/13 8:26 P

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Nina - I can so relate... I am just back to AF (day 3 today) after a 17 day stretch of daily drinking. What I posted on my Wordpress Blog was the effects that I feel when I drink too much to remind myself of the WHY I am working at changing this nasty habit of mine (warning some language used in that post that may offend as I'm able to be more expressive there): losedabooze.wordpress.com/2013/10/15
/p
hysical-symptoms-of-too-much-drinking/


Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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MELISSIMAUS's Photo MELISSIMAUS SparkPoints: (22,957)
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10/16/13 2:53 P

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I always say that pain is my best motivator -- sometimes my only motivator. It took a week or so for me to work up to it, and if I'm honest, it was mostly by really focusing on how crappy I felt when I woke up. Also waking up in the wee hours of the morning with the headache already starting. Not fun. That wasn't actually the main reason I wanted to stop, but it was something to focus on and I think it worked.

p.s. I also found it easier to start the AF streak by planning a day (in two weeks) when I was going to have drinks.

Edited by: MELISSIMAUS at: 10/16/2013 (14:55)
Melissa
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10/16/13 2:19 P

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That was my goal. I did better when I set the goal of double AF days per month to MOD days. I don't know.

Nina- Wisconsin CST
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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,340
10/16/13 1:05 P

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Been there, done that, got the hangover to prove it...

You can do it, you can be AF for long periods of time, you just have to want it.

What if you only allowed your self two days a week to have a drink...then you don't have to feel like you can't ever drink again. Force yourself to decide which days depending on what is going on - friends - dinner out - celebrations, etc.

What ever you decide, you can do it - you are strong.

Time to get Me, Myself & I on the same page...

xoxo elle~


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10/16/13 11:47 A

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Help. I don't know why I do it. For a while, I was so good about not drinking. Now, all of a sudden, it is back to drinking when I go out and then coming home and drinking some more. I don't know if it is because I am telling myself I can't and showing myself, "I can if I want." UGH!

Me, myself and I are not getting along!

Nina- Wisconsin CST
Together Everyone Achieves More

Co-Leader- Walk it Out
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THINANDFITEMILY's Photo THINANDFITEMILY SparkPoints: (47,905)
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8/16/13 10:21 A

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Bizi- hope you are feeling better-
congrats on riding out the cravings- it takes a ton of strength some times. It is HARD but you did it

~~~ Emily~~~
"If you want RESULTS they don't come for free" J.M.
Sizzling Summer Slimdown 2014 BLC Go Turquoise Titans!
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8/16/13 10:16 A
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I think it was from drinking too many bush whackers (rum ice cream drinks) in florida this past weekend. That is when it all started. I think I am getting ready to start TOM, always have back pains instead of cramps.
thanks again elle.
bizi


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,340
8/16/13 10:07 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon
Glad you are still AF

I hope things work out at the doctors. Could you have pulled something during your workout?

xoxo elle~


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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
8/16/13 10:03 A
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Thank you elle for your support.
I ended up going to the gym and trying to walk on the tred mill...made it about 20 minutes, 1 mile at 3.MPH. I just could not take it. We had a big 8 oz turkey pattie and a cup of canned turnip greens, so I was very full from dinner, not a good idea to eat that much meat when my stomach is bothering me. I did not take the extra klonipin.
I think I will make an appointment with my GP.
This has been going on since saturday. I have tried gas ex, pepto bismol last night and took some advil. it is still tender right below and left of my sternum. I remained AF.
thanks again for your support.
bizi

Edited by: IAMBIZI at: 8/16/2013 (10:05)
I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,340
8/15/13 10:58 P

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Bizi - I hope you can get to sleep tonight, things will look a lot better in the morning.

How good will you feel getting up tomorrow with a clear head? You are right at that point where it's the hardest to keep up your streak but you know it gets easier.

I think if your stomach still bothers you tomorrow, you might get it checked out!

Stay strong...try to sleep - I know you aren't suppose to drink with those meds!!!
emoticon emoticon

xoxo elle~


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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
8/15/13 8:39 P
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It is only day 4 and I am craving alcohol badly. I feel like I am just so anxious....and antsy.
want to go to the gym but feel so full from dinner and my pants are so tight.
All I can think about is how the alcohol would take a way the anxiety. Which is faulty thinking. I do have klonipin to take for anxiety, maybe I should take one of those. I take them to sleep at night but could take one now or half of one.
My stomach still bothers me...don't know what is going on there.
Could be an ulcer????
don't know.
Asking for support.
bizi

Edited by: IAMBIZI at: 8/15/2013 (20:40)
I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


 current weight: 150.5 
 
157
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THINANDFITEMILY's Photo THINANDFITEMILY SparkPoints: (47,905)
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6/9/13 10:38 A

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emoticon emoticon wolfie sure is clever but you outsmarted him! Good for you!

~~~ Emily~~~
"If you want RESULTS they don't come for free" J.M.
Sizzling Summer Slimdown 2014 BLC Go Turquoise Titans!
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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
6/9/13 10:13 A
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I posted this on my blog yesterday:
Saturday, June 08, 2013
After lunch we went to pier one and bought new cushions for the patio furniture, the squirls had pulled all of the stuffing out of the old ones, true story!
I worked in the yard a little bit. went to home depot and bought some new plants for the flower pots that I had. Purple verbenia, orange merigolds, pink petunias, a large hanging pot full of mixed colored tiny petunias, a boston fern and a couple of purple shamrocks. I got them all planted just before the rain came.

That is when wolfie showed up.
(I stole this from Belle's blog with the 100 day challenge.... the big bad wolf who wants me to drink).
I started to get a little nervous because I was feeling torn about going to the gym. That was my plan all day was to go to the gym.
Even as I drove with gym bag in trunk I slowed down to possibly stop and have a drink at this nice restuarant(was not even thinking that I had work out clothes on).
I drove on past. whew
damn wolfie.
Make it to the gym and have a good work out. 30 minutes of hard 15% incline tred mill activity made me pant and sweat. I planned on eating dinner there but thought about the pub down the street 3 blocks from my house, how I could go there and have a few drinks and eat dinner. sigh
I stayed at the gym and ate an cheese burger patty and a big bowl of brocoli. It was very good.
Since I did not have time to take a shower I just decided to head home and take a shower at home.

I thought about stopping at brewskis this local bar and having a few drinks on the way home but drove right on by.
Came home and right away started on the computer , face book.
A friend happened to be on line so we chatted. She knows about my drinking challenge of abstinence until my vacation on the 23rd. Alcohol free for the past 11 days so far.
I told her I was weak and that I was going to walk down the street and go to brewskis.
She said NO DON"T DO THAT! She told me I was strong and I told her about the wolfie, she liked it.
So we chatted for a while then I read a few blogs and then jeff came home from his wedding gig from hell.
And wolfie left.


Just like that.
This is day 11.
whew FU wolfie!
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


 current weight: 150.5 
 
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5/24/13 8:47 A

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I had missed this- I make a point to check this everyday now and also know it is here in case I need it- Bizi I am glad you are ok emoticon

~~~ Emily~~~
"If you want RESULTS they don't come for free" J.M.
Sizzling Summer Slimdown 2014 BLC Go Turquoise Titans!
IW-6/13: 174.2
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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,340
5/19/13 8:35 A

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emoticon emoticon Bizi

xoxo elle~


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5/19/13 6:45 A

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You did great Bizi!!! And I'm sure you can do just as well today with all the 'stuff' you have to take care of (and just think of how good it will feel to have it all done before hubby gets back and you can enjoy some quiet cuddle time ; )

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
5/18/13 10:55 P
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I am home alone, thank goodness there is not anything in the house that I like to drink, there are 2 bottles of really bad sweet wine. Yuck! Jeff is gone for the weekend and usually this is prime time to drink. I was going to go to the local pub and have a few but instead called my hubby and talked to him, told him how I wanted to go and he said go home and watch some downton abbey. I decided to come here instead.
There is still time to run to the grocery store and pick up some blueberry beer but I won't. I turned down free delicious cupcakes tonight after the play that I went to (by myself). I am strong in my resolve there. The play was great! Loved it!
I have a lot of paper work to do tomorrow and the house is a mess so I have plenty to do during the day tomorrow. The night is always the worst.
He gets home monday.
sigh
For tonight I am in, Calling it an AF night after much trepidation.
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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CAPECODBABE's Photo CAPECODBABE Posts: 5,340
5/1/13 9:36 A

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After a month AF in the beginning of the year, I decided to see if I could drink in moderation. I told myself that if I couldn't, I'd go back to being totally AF. I've only had 8 or 9 drinks in 2013 - I'd call that moderation!

Val and Bizi, you've both had a great April. Enjoy yourselves, and if you think it's becoming a problem, you are both strong enough to stop!

I know you are strong enough to handle moderation, Helene. And you will when you are ready. Sometimes stress takes over.

xoxo elle~


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5/1/13 3:54 A

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Good luck ladies on your moderation phase/day. For me ... I think I need to make the switch to abstaining for a period to get to a point where I can perhaps handle moderation... for right now, I don't think I can.

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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4/30/13 11:34 P
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Val I think you are doing great, enjoy that small bottle of wine with your hubby. one day won't ruin anything!I
I am joining you tomorrow. I will be drinking tomorrow after not drinking for 30 days this april.
We are in the same boat! moderation is the key.
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


 current weight: 150.5 
 
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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,666)
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4/30/13 7:50 P

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You have proven you can do a 30 day stretch Val and that's emoticon

What you are suggesting is for sure reasonable and moderation in all things is what will get us to our goals. Of course there are other ways to reward ourselves but if this is what you want and if you miss it - then go with my old saying 'moderation NOT deprivation' is the key to success.


Edited by: SEPTEMBERSPIRIT at: 4/30/2013 (19:51)
Real Name: Helene

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GREEN-EYED-LADY's Photo GREEN-EYED-LADY Posts: 909
4/30/13 7:31 P

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So here's the deal. I've been AF for 4 whole weeks and doing great but tomorrow is the first of the month which is my "payday". I always drink to celebrate payday on the first. Should I stick with my streak and reward myself some other way ? I do want a new pair of jean shorts and a sports bra which could be my reward for not drinking 4 weeks. Or should I treat myself to a couple glasses of wine and then go back to being AF.? I'm feeling kinda deprived and I miss alcohol. Wine tastes so good. I'm thinking I'll pick up a small bottle of white wine and chill it all day to enjoy in the evening with my husband. That sounds reasonable. I was going to be AF until I reached my goal of 150 pounds - but I no longer think that is doable. I guess I answered my own question. A couple glasses of wine isn't going to ruin my weight-loss goals. OK.

Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.
-- Paul in Ephesians 5:18 (NLT)


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4/25/13 11:03 A

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I agree Bizi - that alcohol should not be a reward but rather a 'pampering' treat or something else that makes you feel good and keeps you on track with your goal!

Real Name: Helene

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ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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4/25/13 10:39 A
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May I make a suggestion? I don't think that alcohol should be used as a reward.Just my opinion. I think that perhaps you could think about how much money you are saving and create a separate account to save this money and at the end of ten pounds go out and treat yourself to something special, a new blouse or shoes or what ever you fancy.
keep up the good work that you ar doing, dieting and abstaining or cutting back are two difficult things to be doing at the same time so you are doing great!
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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FRENCHSEAMS's Photo FRENCHSEAMS Posts: 455
4/25/13 10:02 A

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I think it might be a every ten pound weight loss reward. It should be tied to something i think.

Lisa - I've got Kummerspeck! (grief-bacon)


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4/25/13 4:18 A

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Whatever you decide FRENCHSEAMS we'll be here for you...

Real Name: Helene

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FRENCHSEAMS's Photo FRENCHSEAMS Posts: 455
4/25/13 12:00 A

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AF today and trying to decide if I want to buy a bottle of wine on Friday for the weekend or not.

Lisa - I've got Kummerspeck! (grief-bacon)


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I think you are doing great! emoticon

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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Well it's for sure not easy the whole 'psychological' thinking around it as I sit here - me and my step-daughter relaxing after preparing a couple of dishes for tonight... and it's that 3pm witching hour and I'm thinking ... I could have some drinks today and go back to AF tomorrow ... that's the pattern I eventually want to establish but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to go that way just yet...

We'll see what happens.

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4/13/13 12:12 P
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I did make it thru the day AF. Hubby got home at 1130 and I was watching some special features of downton abbey. Thank you for your support helene. I was AF 12days then binged on easter now it is another 12 days. I think that I am psychologically dependent.
Thank you for your ongoing support while I am on my journey to better health. Alcohol is not good for me, it kills brain cells, my memory is poor enough already I need all of the brain cells I can get.
have a nice weekend!
Glad that you have someone in your life that makes you happy.
bizi

Edited by: IAMBIZI at: 4/13/2013 (14:29)
I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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4/13/13 7:15 A

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I hope you made it through AF Bizi. Have you ever tried other 'blueberry' flavoured drinks? I'm just thinking today is a new day and perhaps you can plan or find a new drink that is AF that will help quench/satisfy those urges a bit.

Real Name: Helene

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IAMBIZI's Photo IAMBIZI Posts: 2,063
4/12/13 10:30 P
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I was desperate tonight.
This is my 12 AF day of this month and I am having cravings. I want my blue berry beers so badly.
I live just 5 blocks away from my grocery store and 3 blocks away from a bar. I could go down there easily enough...hubby would not even have to know, he is not home and won't be home for a few more hours. I am always hard to stay the course when he is away. But I have eaten almonds, snacked on pumpkin seeds, chewed some gum and called a friend so that was good. I am about ready to either go to bed or watch a rerun of downton abby.
that sounds distracting enough!
bizi

I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF.

3-19-13=156, 5-17-13 =145, 6-7-13=139.5 yeah! 8-19-13=148.5, 8-30-13=145.5, 9-2-13= 150.5, 10-19-13=143, 11-12-13= 140 yippie! 1-13-14= 146.5, 3-26-14=148, 6-28-14=157, 7-17-14=152.5, 7-24-14=149 yippie!

Happiness is a decision!


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5/8/12 9:00 A

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emoticon HEIDIKLUMIMNOT

Real Name: Helene

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5/8/12 8:59 A

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I too wound up AF last night. I got a great night of sleep, and am hitting the ground running this morning. So ready for this week to be over so I can work in the pool room again. I finally got all the books moved, now I have to clean up the walls where they have had bookcases in front of them for years, and steam the carpet, and it will be ready to go!

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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HEIDIKLUMIMNOT Posts: 53
5/8/12 8:29 A

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Did it! Phew! Drank lots of water, but I think posting about it helped the most. Me, too, this is after several days in a row of having alcohol. Felt great to get a good night's sleep last night, too, I think thanks to the AF night. emoticon

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5/8/12 7:43 A

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Well I'm going to push hard for TODAY to make it an AF day too ... I've had 4 days in a row with drinks and it has to STOP!

No more booze in the house will help... need to get the scale/balance going in the right direction again!

Real Name: Helene

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ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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5/7/12 10:15 P

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I am here...and trying my best too...

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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HEIDIKLUMIMNOT Posts: 53
5/7/12 9:11 P

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Trying to be AF today.

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3/12/12 8:41 P

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Good Job DIANE!!! You know I found the book that I read a long time ago that helped me (Responsible Drinking: A Moderation Management approach for problem drinkers) and there's a section that gave 3 dozen things to 'distract yourself' from caving...
I think I'm going to post it in a thread on it's own for all to see and add to it...

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DIANEWEB's Photo DIANEWEB Posts: 178
3/12/12 6:26 P

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Ok, I'm at that crucial moment: whether or not to buy wine on my way home. Logging on here seems like a step in the right direction.

It has been a really crappy day tho. From waking up late to forgetting my phone at home to tripping on the sidewalk and splattering my soup everywhere.

It all could have been worse though. And alcohol is just alcohol. It is not a reward. It has no magical time machine powers to erase my bad day (plenty of power to make it worse though).

Ok ... I think I am talking myself out of the wine store. Gonna put some tunes on and head out.

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3/12/12 3:45 A

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Today is a new day ... and I suggest you keep checking in with the team here on the daily thread. The support and reading other's posts is wonderful in keeping us grounded.

Real Name: Helene

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CAMPCHICKITY Posts: 8
3/12/12 12:06 A

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On my 4th Sam Adams! Nooo! This was my first week on Spark and I just felt the urge to binge after working hard all week. I'm afraid to step on the scale!

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3/7/12 9:11 A

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I did fine last night. It helped that I had the hangover from hell yesterday morning. What a memory.

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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3/7/12 4:38 A

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I should have been on here more too... seems we all had our moments but today is a new day...

Lori while I know yours is quite unusual given your huge streaks - you are still an inspiration to all of us - you are not going to let that one day wipe out all the GOOD days you had.

As for me - well FRIGGEN FRIG... back up to 163lbs (and last month I was at 154lbs)... So frustrating but yet another affirmation that BOOZE is no good for me in so many ways!!

Real Name: Helene

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3/6/12 7:45 A

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Yeah, and after all that....the lacroix water wasn't enough and did I log back in here for help? NO...I called my daughter, asked her to go get me some beer and had my first DD in almost a year. Today I feel like crap and not only because I have a headache. I blew a huge streak, and have to start over. Tonight will be AF though, as I think I drank everything in the house.

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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DIANEWEB's Photo DIANEWEB Posts: 178
3/6/12 6:53 A

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Thanks Lori. I should have logged back in. I had one glass. And I'm up on the scale.
Shazbot! (remember Mork & Mindy, anyone?) :)

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3/5/12 6:54 P

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You really want to not drink tonight, to be able to have a good weigh in tomorrow. So, when you get home, get a wine glass, put some tea or water in it, throw a piece of lemon in, and call it a drink. I have had to do that more times than I can count over the past year. And believe me I have had MANY days like today. In fact, today was one of them. I had a bad day at work, I fell and hurt my wrist, my body aches like crazy from all the yard work I did over the weekend, and I just wanted a drink. So here I sit with my wineglass full of lacroix water...If I can do this, you can. The important thing is that you not beat yourself up over it...we all have our days.

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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DIANEWEB's Photo DIANEWEB Posts: 178
3/5/12 6:33 P

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Remember me this morning all resolved that I wasn't going to have any alcohol tonight? Yeah, I don't remember that chick either.
Here's how it happens. I get through my work day, many things happen -- some good, some bad. I get to the end of the day and I am tired and a glass of wine just seems like the perfect reward. If I have it (+ Sunday night's four glasses and less than stellar eating this week) I will not have a good weigh in Tuesday morning.

I have my 45 minute subway ride ahead of me to try to get my head back into that "alcohol free and easy" space. I sure ain't feeling it now.
What I want to feel like emoticon
What I actually feel like emoticon

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3/2/12 8:09 A

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Thanks Lori - your support and that of the team is invaluable to me!! emoticon emoticon

Real Name: Helene

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3/2/12 7:48 A

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Helene, we all have our days, and you did really well, putting together a small streak. Pretty soon your small streaks will be growing longer and longer. I know they will.

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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GOLDEN190 Posts: 14
3/1/12 8:39 P

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Thanks for the response WS and the motivation.

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3/1/12 7:14 P

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Well I caved tonight people... it was a really bad day and I have no excuses, except to say I'm here fessing up which is better than what I used to do ... and 'avoid' or hide.

I am not perfect, I am not doing long AF stretches yet like you Lori, but I am improving... day by day with the support, love and non-judgement from this group!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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3/1/12 6:52 P

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That is the approach that worked for me, until I was able to actually say "I quit" and stop all together. I am not saying I will never drink again...it will happen, I am sure. But I am certainly glad to have you guys here cheering me on. GOOD FOR YOU! You will do it!

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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GOLDEN190 Posts: 14
3/1/12 5:51 P

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So, the whole AF thing is hard for me. I just love my wine in the evenings. So, I thought I would devise a plan. One day off, one day on (mod) for several weeks. Then 2 days off one day on and so forth. I figure at least in the beginning I'm drinking half as much and what's one day when I know I can have vino the next? We will see how this works. I think it's a mental thing for me at this point. Weight loss won't be as fast but maybe a slow go approach is the best. What do you all think?

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3/1/12 8:48 A

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You should check in to the 'daily' thread (Who's AF today) if you haven't yet... I'm going for day 3 today... Way to start a new month 'Fresh'!!

Real Name: Helene

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KANOE10's Photo KANOE10 Posts: 4,337
3/1/12 8:36 A

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Thanks for your support! Good luck on Day 2 Af. Going to try again today.

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2/29/12 7:38 A

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emoticon KANOE10

If you are tempted or craving come to the boards and read some of the posts/threads...

I'm going for day 2 AF today - hoping to improve my numbers into March as well!

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KANOE10's Photo KANOE10 Posts: 4,337
2/29/12 7:30 A

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13 days is still excellent. I am going to try for one today! This is not easy. Hope your day goes well.

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2/28/12 8:42 A

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The 13 days will be the total days I've been AF in the month but unfortunately not in a row. Today is my first day AF since last Thursday... Planning on an AF streak going into March for sure!

Real Name: Helene

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KANOE10's Photo KANOE10 Posts: 4,337
2/28/12 7:10 A

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September Spirit: Congrats on Day 13 Af. I need to follow your example. I keep telling myself that i am going to be AF and then I have a glass of wine. Like you say it can lead to 3 glasses.
You are right..plan ahead.

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1/9/12 8:14 A

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I couldn't agree with you more INTHELOOP. It's funny how we have to make an 'excuse' about WHY we are choosing to do something healthy for ourselves in order to avoid peer pressure.

I think more and more though, it will be more accepted. I won't be going back home to visit for a while - maybe in March, and that's where I get the most pressure because it's what people do - they drink. My last visit was on my birthday in September and if I do decide to go in March, my plan is to be mostly AF (if not completely) - to ensure I don't sabotage the success I will have made up to that point.

People don't see me too often so it should be easy to say - I don't drink anymore (they won't know it's only since December 28th) and I can make sure I'm setup with my own drink in hand - the alcohol free kind emoticon

It's all in the planning - so when you're debating to be or not to be AF - plan ahead and stay strong. If you decide to have a drink or two, be sure it's moderate and stick to your guns (my downfall is once I have one drink I want more)... thus why I've chosen to simply abstain for a long stretch. Day 13 today!! emoticon

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INTHELOOP's Photo INTHELOOP SparkPoints: (19,558)
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1/9/12 5:23 A

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Just had my first week AF -
I even turned down FREE drinks - lol
and after an evening out with friends and 90oz of water - I was up to pee about 4 times before 8a. emoticon

I do feel I made some great strides by avoiding the temptations and peer pressure. My sweet hubby told people. that asked why I was not drinking, that I was in training for a half marathon. Weird - the party peeps seemed to be ok with that -

I am convinced the alcohol derails the positive changes I am trying to make in my life - in many areas.



Follow your Star ~ Trust your Instincts ~ Dare to be your Best!


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1/6/12 4:13 A

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It's great that you came here to post your thoughts ... how did you fair out for the night? I don't believe one martini means you've lost momentum. Today is a NEW day! Make it a great one!!

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MAMATENACITY's Photo MAMATENACITY Posts: 130
1/6/12 12:15 A

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I had 2 nights AF but tonight the stress is getting to me. I can't do too much damage with one martini (all I have here, thank God) but it still might feel like a defeat if I indulge. A big part of the problem was lack of exercise today. I've felt weighted down by lack of motion all day.

I hate to lose momentum!



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"If you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right." -unknown
ANNE-MARGARET's Photo ANNE-MARGARET Posts: 558
12/20/11 10:30 P

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I had a couple of "one nights" recently - HUGE for me! Hey, more power to you, September, in pursuing an AF January! The fact that you want it speaks volumes!

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12/20/11 1:27 P

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I made it my first AF night last night Wendy and you know... I feel so good about just that 'one' night again (since it had been quite a while since my last). My plan is to continue to be AF until Friday... and I will allow myself a few days of drinking and then I'm cutting clean to begin 2012 with an AF streakt (possibly an AF January).

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12/20/11 11:32 A

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Thanks Helene! You can call me Wendy if you like......
I made it through the evening with no wine. I am happy for myself. I didn't wrap any gifts though, I just sat in the living room with DH with my mug of tea and played Bejeweled on my iphone and kind of watched TV and then he fell asleep in his chair and I went to bed at 9:30, the earliest I've been in bed in a long time!
Thanks for being here all of you.
Take care and have a great day!

Wendy
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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Photo SEPTEMBERSPIRIT SparkPoints: (86,666)
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12/20/11 4:09 A

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You did the right things SOOKGAL66 !! You came here, posted, you exercised... emoticon

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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12/19/11 11:00 P

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aack! I could really have a glass of wine right now but I am not going to. DH is in a bit of a funk, he seems kinda depressed and he's just sitting watching TV and not very talkative. That makes me want to withdraw also and which probably seems childish but that's me.
I just did 40 mins on my Gazelle which feels good. Maybe I'll go make some tea and wrap a present or two.
Help! The more I deprive myself; the more I want it. I hate that! emoticon
LOL.


Wendy
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12/13/11 4:06 A

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It is good to know that we're not alone... I meant to be AF last night but let my emotions (nervousness/anxiety over some relationship stuff) get the best of me and decided to finish off some of the booze in the house. I didn't over do it and did manage to get in bed earlier and feel good this morning having slept more than the previous past few nights.

With weigh in tomorrow, my plan is to be AF today and for the rest of the week. I have my staff pot luck on Friday but since I 'bus' to work, I don't think I'll bring any booze with me. They say the party will go on until??? but I don't think I'll stay too late as I will have to bus my way home (unless I get a ride with someone again as I did after the dance).

This time of year is especially hard to remain AF for me as there are the 'social' excuses to having drinks... I had made a rule for myself to not drink unless it was a social occasion or never to drink alone ... well I bombed on that as I drank alone last night and have been the past little while again. Living alone, single mom with no time to go out... well it's my only outlet and one I can afford. I drink and socialize online with my chatting so virtually doing the social thing.

My goal though for 2012 will be to shift my focus and to really break free from these patterns. Coming here and reading other posts and inspiring blogs like the one I share by Lindsay who had over 100 days AF allows me to believe that I too can do whatever I set my mind to. Nothing to it but to do it right?!

Real Name: Helene

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Persistence (and consistency) is KEY to success!

ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!!


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12/12/11 11:59 P

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Today is easy. Yesterday me and a friend went out and I had too much to drink. I pretty much NEVER go out, mostly drink wine at home and if I do go out, I pretty much NEVER drink too much. Except for yesterday. I spent too much money, drank too much, some parts of the evening are fuzzy and I intended to get home at a reasonable time but didn't. So the guilt settles in..........and I am tired because I didn't sleep well. So yes, today is easy. As the week wears on, it will get more difficult to remain AF. This thread will be great to turn to as the week progresses and I want to drink wine in the evening once the bad feelings from my night out yesterday have disappeared. This is one area where the more I feel I cannot or do not want to have it, the more I want it. I'm not that way with food. Just with wine.

There are some good strategies here when the wine calling my name is too loud LOL. I love that I identify in some way with all these posts on here. It makes me feel like not such a bad person or a loser. It's good to know that there are so many other ladies like me out there who enjoy alcohol too much and know that we shouldn't but do it anyways.

Oh and it will be extra rough as the week goes on due to there are two full bottles of wine in the house right now. My neighbour bought us one for looking after her dog and then if you can believe, I bought a bottle of wine before I came home last night, just because I thought I didn't quite have enough already!!!??? Man, I cannot believe I did that. LOL.
emoticon

Wendy
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12/10/11 10:32 A

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I quit trying a couple of months ago, but I'm going to give AF another try. No booze in the house should make it easier. I hope to make it AF to Christmas!



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12/6/11 8:57 A

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I am sorry I wasn't around last night too. I am generally not online after about 8pm, because I have so much to do to put the house "down to bed", with all the pets we have. Helene, I hope you are feeling better today. I can say from experience that it is actually easier to face this stuff when we are not drinking, or at least it is for me. If I have had too much, I wind up crying in the corner and not enjoying life.

~Lori

Limits exist only in the minds of those who do not dream.~ paraphrased quote from Philippe Petit, high wire artist


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