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12/13/12 11:19 P

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Hi Trisha. I could not cry about it for most of my young adult life. Therapy, specifically group therapy in my 20s, helped me to cry about it.

I started private therapy much later (decades later), and it took me two years to cry in private therapy. I will usually watch touching movies, and that gets me crying. I am also trying to deal with grief of losing too many people at once, and the touching movies probably helps me more with that.

Hope this helps some, at least to tell you that you are not alone in your feelings.



Try harder--in everything that you do!

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11/15/12 4:22 A

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Emmy, I completely get what you are saying about feeling like you are a whole different person to the one you were a year ago. If I look back to when I entered therapy in February I have grown so much. I definitely still have a long way to go but I am definitely trailblazing an entirely new path.

Amanda, I think that burning the letter can be very powerful. I remember after moving overseas I poured my soul out in a letter to my mother and then I burned it, it was an incredibly empowering experience.

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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11/15/12 12:21 A

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I agree that becoming more patient with ourselves and our uneven progress can be difficult, but is essential to healing.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/14/12 10:29 A

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@Ricki glad the the letter writing helped you.. write now for me it's just getting it started and letting it go!

@ Amanda I like that burning it after reading it.

@ Trisha forgiving myself i have begun that I work at each and every day!! I like myself a whole lot more now than a year ago. I see myself in a a whole different way than before. I know i'm a work in progress and will get there... i just have to keep uip on my therapy. I am building the road on my journey that will hold while i am impatiend and get annoyed at times that i still have flash back but i am figuring that this won't go away it will be how i handle them in the future vs. how i did in the past. I am learning not to hurt myself by binging that food doesn't solve my problem and remember that I am strong. I am realizing i do make a difference in so many ways. So onward let the healing continue!

I must remind myself daily to be patient and tame the child within that wants it yesterday!



Edited by: EBPOOKIE at: 11/14/2012 (10:30)
Emmy
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11/13/12 9:47 P

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A thought about those letters: after reading them aloud (or sharing with a therapist) consider burning them. I've done rituals around releasing fears or habits that involve writing them on paper, and then burning the paper, visualizing my intention or prayer rising with the smoke.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/13/12 5:36 P

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My Dad was very unexpressive (not his fault, was a result of war experiences, but as a teen I had no trouble showing emotions. When my husband started acting strange I cried my heart out... and then I "learned" to harden my heart. The result is that today I rarely cry over anything, even things I would want to. But I express my emotions other ways (writing, song). And I'm OK with that, except that I am making an extra effort to be expressive of emotions to my kids, so they don't feel as inadequate as I did (trying to please my Dad- who was NOT abusive BTW)

Writing a letter can be a great tool. After my Dad died, my brother shared with me Dad's war history, and I suddenly realized that the problem was HIS, not a deficiency in me. I "wrote him" a letter, and that really helped me move on.

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11/13/12 10:31 A

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The biggest challenge I think is making sure that our abuse is witnessed and that we forgive ourselves.

I think people who say that one must just forgive and forget do not realize how much abuse impacts on your spirit. I do agree that we should release any ties that we still have towards our abuser(s) and those who were complicit, but I don't think that it is possible to do so until we have done some of the therapeutic work.

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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11/12/12 12:25 P

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Gabby - my mom has an old school mentality she is almost 83 and i'm sure she feels like any mother would that she should have known and done something but i never talked for fear he would hurt her. She doesn't understand that. So when i went into therapy she felt i should just forgive and forget. That all i'm doing while in therapy is bring up the past which should stay in the past... I love my mom but as i told what i am doing know will help me in the future. She doesn't understand it.

Yes my letter will be to both but right now mostly him i will do one for her - step mom.

Emmy
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"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
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Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 8,060
11/12/12 12:16 P

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I forgot about the letter writing tool - it does help to just read it out loud like you were reading it to him. You keep saying him but you wrote that your stepmother assisted him so she is just as guilty. I hope you are writing a letter to her as well. When you say your mother says that you should forgive and forget, are you referring to her or your biological mother?

I had to release everyone who knew but didn't do anything. I harbored negative feelings like anger and resentment towards all. That was a lot of anger for me to be carrying around for a lot of years. It was made especially worse because I buried most of the memories deep in my psyche and didn't realize where all the pain was coming from. I suffered from nightmares and panic attacks until it all came to the surface and I released it all. I wouldn't have survived without meditation and visualization.






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11/12/12 10:31 A

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Thanks Gabby i know i'm working on my letter to him and will read it to let most of it out!! Thanks and i think i am understanding it more now.

Emmy
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Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
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Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/12/12 10:21 A

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Emmy you don't have to "forgive" your abuser in the traditional sense and I wonder who is telling you that you should. It's more a sense of releasing the abuser. I'll try to explain - if you harbor deep resentment and anger those negative emotions are further damaging you, so it's a matter of letting it go. I could never say "I forgive you" because they didn't deserve forgiveness, but I did meditate and visualize while I said "I release you and let you go". I didn't want to still have any ethereal ties with my abusers. I actually used to visualize myself cutting a cord tying me to them or surrounding them in a cloud and pushing it away. I'd visualize any negative energy streaming out of me as I released them.
It sounds as if you are on the path to releasing that negativity with your therapy. Visualization can also be a powerful tool and you can personalize it to suit yourself.
emoticon






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11/12/12 9:51 A

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I guess i'll just continue to do what i am doing with therapy. I don't feel stuck either i know the work i am doing right now is progressing, i have been at this for a year and everyone's recovery from the past is different. I have had tons of flashbacks and have had to deal with each episode and I am slowly allowing myself to talk about through the help of this team, therapist and my support system. As far as forgiving myself for feeling guilt shame and responsiblity that is gone. I refuse to let him dicdate the rest of my life. I feel life is getting better as i deal with each flashback or nightmare and understand that it can't hurt me. I know there is anger involved and yes i do hate what he took from me and what he did to me and my siblings and kids but we are still here and we will continue to be. I have had alot of major accomplishments this past year and will continue to have them it is within my power.

Emmy
Biggest Loser Pink Team Co-Leader
"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/12/12 1:12 A

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I think forgiveness is a very personal choice. I *hate* hearing anyone claim you *have to* forgive your abusers. We should never try to "force" any part of ourselves to do something we aren't ready to do--we all had enough of that kind of force, thank you very much. And I feel sad for those who cling to their hurt, refusing to entertain the notion of ever forgiving the past; that kind of resistence to letting go of the pain can really keep you stuck.

Early in my process, I gave myself permission to hate my father for the rest of my life. Somehow letting that be OK meant I didn't have to stay there. That would somehow been more about him and how horrible he was than about me and how much better I wanted to feel.

Nobody has the right to try to legitimize or excuse the evils that have been perpetrated against us and countless others. And nobody should attempt to stop us from setting down our burdens when we are ready to release the pain and limitations of our past experiences. That's how I see it.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/11/12 5:48 P

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@Jen how do you find forgiveness toward your abuser is my question. I keep being told to forgive him but i can't not yet at least. I had my son 5 days later he was gone he took him, he made me think he was dead. That is the hardest one for me to forgive i may let go of the pain he caused me but he abused my son& sister daughter in that time after we were gone. Yes he went to prison for 15 years served 10 and he passed about 4 years ago; our abuse lasted alot longer then his time in. My sis and i lost 16 & 14 precious years from our children lives. I wish i could let it go and forgive and forget as my mom says but i can't. I wish to understand how you go through it; because being told by some that unless i do forgive him and her i will never have peace. he's gone she's still alive and served no time she had to do community service - go figure. I'm just curious...

Emmy
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"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/11/12 5:26 P

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Oh Trisha, it was the same for me and I had to work through all the same thoughts you are having. I did try to talk about it to a family member long after my mother had passed on, but she was far from receptive and virtually told me to leave what was in the past in the past and what did I want to drag all that stuff up for - and of course my parents loved me!.

I had already made the decision on the path that I needed to follow for myself and have not wavered or felt any need to change that. In fact it was after the stage of finding forgiveness that I made my final decision. In my case I wanted to discover for myself if there would be any good purpose served by giving details of who and what the abuse was in my case.

It needs to be something we each decide for ourselves. It was the same for me with my abusive husband.

I too have shared with many Emmy, and it is so worthwhile to share my story where it can be helpful. It does seem to be getting it all out and feeling free to talk about without fear that plays a very healing role in our recovery. Some go on to "out" the person if they are still living and also to get jail time for those of who are still offending. It is so different in each person's life. My parents were both long since dead when I started talking about my personal situation.

I have since found that for me it is possible to carry the message of survial without harming anyone in the process. This is only my personal opion, but the abusers have so often themselves been abused and at the time I was young there was no help or even recognition of any kind for anyone. To me forgiveness and healing are the most important things so that I can now live a free and contented life in a state of forgiveness for myself and forgiveness to others.

This is my path - I know many others do not agree with me. But it is what brings me contentment and peace.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
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"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
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Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
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11/11/12 1:11 P

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@Trisha Not all mothers are perfect i know my step mother instigated all of our issues she sexually abused my brothers and wasthe one who held me down my first night when my father raped an physically abused me. All she had to do was complain and their way of dealing with us was to beat us and molest us. We were to be seen and not heard and in her eyes the less seen the better! So not all mothers are meant to be mothers. So Trisha i'm hear to hear you so that little Trish has voice!!! You mother may not be able to hurt but she did hurt you. I will listen!!! People that knew you mother may not want to believe the ugliness i know who that is my father was a pillar of the community gave to the church volunteered they only saw the side of him that he wanted them to see.... You have found a group here that will hear you so when things get tough it's okay to express yourself here.. Have your voice and we will listen because as Gabby says healing is a priority!!

For me sharing is giving the little me a voice. I was shut out twice when we tried to get help and then after that it was easier to stay quiet then to speak. We went to my aunt (who we now know was his first victim) and she told me to be a good girl and it would be easier and than our church priest who turned around and told my dad what we were accusing him of and to work things out at home we got the beatings of our lives thanks to that one no help just beatings and more abuse.

Trish we are strong brave and intelligent we survived now we continue our healing!! HUGS lots of them my friend!!

@ Gabby thank you that i was really nervous but soon realized it was okay and that people were listening and yes i have gotten 3 emails from survivors from a group of twenty. One being 75 year old woman who got very emotional she said in her days they didn't speak of it, she realized the connection between her abuse and weight just by my talk. I have an email buddy .

Edited by: EBPOOKIE at: 11/11/2012 (13:25)
Emmy
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"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/11/12 10:10 A

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Emmy I also think that what you did was courageous and you may never know how many others you helped in the process of telling your story; but I am so proud of you!

Trisha I can understand how you feel. You may have to weigh whether disclosing the abuse you suffered at the hands of your mother will cause you more pain or be cathartic. Maybe just sharing your story with people who didn't know your mother is sufficient for you to heal. After all, she can no longer hurt anyone else. What is necessary for your healing is the priority.






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11/11/12 5:54 A

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Emmy, Congratulations! What you did was huge...and emoticon

Amanda, I think for me the biggest reason why I keep quiet about my abuse is that I am afraid that I will not be believed, that our tribal memory has changed the experiences that I found abusive to be examples of loving behaviour.

What I think complicates it further is that my mother was the main perpetrator, and so in order to speak I have to break the perception of mothers can do no wrong in society, and she is now deceased and so I have the taboo of not speaking out against someone who can't defend herself.



"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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11/9/12 9:51 P

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We often hesitate to open up about our abuse--whether from shame or not wanting to make others uncomfortable or bring up something ugly and upsetting. But sometimes it really helps others who have never opened up to know they aren't alone. And it helps others see that it isn't a rarity, but frighteningly common.

Kudos on speaking up and touching lives, Emmy! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/9/12 4:34 P

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emoticon it may not be a pillow but it's the closest i found lol... tossing...

I spoke at the TOPS meeting which i was invited to come and speak and share my journey/story which i did and it went well, i did get emotional on a few spots but oversall it went well. I made little picture handouts that had my favorite picture quotes and that of me crossing the finish line it had my contact info on it in case anyone wanted to communicate with me. I ended up getting a few emails from survivors or others thanking me for sharing. I concentrated on my accomplishments this year gave them a little history not details as this was to be motivating but they appreciated the honesty. I felt good to talk and finally see i'm not being judged... for me that was big. :)

Emmy
Biggest Loser Pink Team Co-Leader
"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/9/12 7:33 A

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Amanda, use it with pleasure.

Emmy, we can have a virtual pillow throwing meet :)

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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11/7/12 9:08 A

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i think i'm going to try doing the pillow throw especially when i'm feeling anxiety!! hugs to you all!!

Emmy
Biggest Loser Pink Team Co-Leader
"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/7/12 1:10 A

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Trisha, I love the term 'confuzzled' and plan to start using it! emoticon

The only times I feel like throwing things these days are those instances when I can't find something because of a mess or clutter build up--I get so angry and frutrated with myself. emoticon



Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/6/12 2:55 P

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Woops Gabby, yes I meant Emmy, I was clearly a bit confuzzled and in the state. I love the idea of the pillows I'm definitely going to do that. When I was typing the message on the other thread I also noticed spontaneous tears running down my face when I wrote about the names we call ourselves.

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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11/5/12 4:12 P

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Driving out and just screaming my lungs out is what always worked for me. So satisfying and I always felt cleared out and ready to go when I got back home. Have to tell you though since living on my own I havent had one of those episodes that required that degree of venting. :O) I never dared answer DH back, the violence was quite bad enough without that!!
I do still get mad sometimes but seem much better able to tell the person directly - funny I didnt even realise that until we are talking about it here. I certainly no longer bottle up any emotions, I know the toll that used to take in making me depressed. They do say depression is anger turned in on ourselves, so any way we use to get it out (as long as it doesnt hurt others or ourselves) has to be good.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 8,060
11/5/12 9:47 A

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Well, a nerf ball just wouldn't give you the same satisfaction - not enough Ooomph! You have to pick a wall that is blank where you won't break anything or against a closed door LOL!






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11/4/12 5:41 P

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Is that why they are called throw pillows? I always thought it was because you just casually tossed them on the bed or sofa. Hmmm. emoticon Actually, I like the idea of that--or even smaller soft items like a nerf ball? Prefereably something without enough mass to knock breakables over.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 8,060
11/4/12 1:40 P

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Trisha I think you meant Emmy. I always expressed my emotions. In fact, to this day I tear up at the drop of a hat. I have trouble containing tears. Actually, tears are also my way of expressing anger or frustration although I do raise my voice on occasion with my DH because he yells first. He's a naturally loud talker. I used to throw things (never at anyone else or anything breakable). In college when I was younger I used to get a stack of old paperback books to fling against the opposite wall. By about the 4th book I'd feel so much better.

Try the book trick when you're alone in a room - it really does help LOL! I knew someone else who had a stack of small "throw" pillows for the same purpose. Much quieter!






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11/4/12 1:56 A

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Thanks for the replies everyone.

Gabby, for me it was also a case of not being allowed to express my emotions.

It's re-assuring to know that this will pass and one day I will be able to express my feelings.

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,744
11/3/12 8:25 P

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Emmy that so follows my own process. I was unable to cry or show any emotion at home either. I was like a little robot. Learning to say how I felt to a therapist first was one of the most freeing things. Like you I journalled a lot and began to talk a lot as I grew to trust her. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/3/12 1:18 A

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I was never allowed to show emotion or cry when i did the beatings and the rape would be morer violent. I got to a point where i stopped crying and just held it in but things that triggered my emotions at times where things like hurt feelings or when i felt helpless and like things where going to nowhere. Now I have felt all sorts of emotions since my therapy i have really allowed myself to be angry i have now have felt several different emotions and it has heled when i write and journal but then i read them in my therapy sessions and i bawl and the minute i am ask how i feel i let her (little me) say it because i was never allowed so little me now has a voice and feelings it will come and like said below when it comes it will come!!! Allow it to happen and that will be when you are rady for it to happen.

Emmy
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"Your Fitness is 100% MENTAL! Your body WON'T GO, where your MIND doesn't PUSH IT!!"

Rogue Run Half Marathon 2012, Medford Oregon 9/23/2012 4hrs 20 mins - 19:55
Rogue Run Half Marathon 2013 Time: 4:04:34 Pace: 18:41
Holiday Half 2013 Time: 4:02:06 Pace: 18:11
Vernonia Half 4-13-2014 - Attempted with Asthma - unable to complete - blisters and Asthma attack. Completed 8 miles and was extremely happy i was able to do that. Consid


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11/2/12 9:49 P

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I've never had trouble crying, so can't really speak to this. Joy, sorrow, frustration--various emotions elicit tears for me. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/2/12 7:51 P

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I was unable to cry either early on and then when the flood gates opened man did they open. It occurred kind of its own accord I think. I dont remember doing anything specifically to start it. However it was after I had begun working on my issues. For another friend of mine it happened when they miscarried their baby. First time in maybe 25 years. Maybe others will have some helpful suggestions. :)

PS It was after I had started doing a lot of journalling, but dont know if that was connected.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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TRISHASPARKLES's Photo TRISHASPARKLES SparkPoints: (8,677)
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11/2/12 2:17 P

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Hi everyone,

I am reaching a stage in my journey when I am feeling part of the betrayal and anger and hurt that was inflicted on me and I will feel like crying but am unable to do so. Anyone experienced something similar to this and have advice about how to deal with it?

Trisha

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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