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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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5/21/10 2:25 P

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That is so sad. Just keep praying that when the time is right god will intervene and the authorities will get involved.

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
5/21/10 2:15 P

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She has three the youngest stays in doors with her..I always make it a habit to smile and say hello to the other 2 and they smile and say hello back..my youngest is friends with her oldest boy and they play like good friends..my son has told me this boy hates his mother...really sad at his age..because of safety (I have been threatened with bodily harm) I do not go out alone so there is no way to connect with these kids..except to pray for them and their mother..

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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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5/20/10 7:08 P

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Is there any way you could enrich this child's life ? You can't be there parent but you could mentor and enrich his or her life and make a big difference in how they turn out and feel about themselves. I am an honorary grand mother of three!It can be very frustrating watching the injustice but getting close you can also document events and maybe help get this child justice and protection.

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
5/20/10 4:53 P

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I love it!! I can remember when I had my oldest I had a Dr Sears book for children..that was my bible..if it wasn't in Sears I didn't do it..I was able to be a much better parent with a little help from Sears...and then my little guy..was so much easier because I knew just what to do..i loved making him baby food..I got such joy out of that!!

You know what? They should have screened her urine..this lady gets wasted every single day..and although I know this is not criteria for Children's services..but she has a new guy in her bed almost weekly..my poor son shares a wall with her...she's a pig..I have never before seen people act like this

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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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5/19/10 5:50 P

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Think about what I am going to say and you'll see it has merit. People should have to pass competence test to have children or pets! I firmly believe this. There are biological people whom you can't call parents and pet owners without a clue as to how to care,nurture or train an animal.We could end a lot of pain and suffering of the innocent victims who can't fight back and really need our protection,which is not happening in this current society. Not sure how you would in put such a thing. Humane societies and hospitals should require classes and certification.You don't pass and you don't get either until you do. Our system couldn't get any more over loaded.

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
5/19/10 8:11 A

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LADYIRISH317..I like the new icon!!

I called child services on a neighbor who had beaten her son just because he was whining and repeating a question..this was a little guy maybe 3 or 4..I heard from another neighbor that they did an investigation and then closed it..the same neighbor that told me this also said this was the 4th time this woman had child services in her life...to me if it is the 4th time...a case should be opened and she needs to get services..like parenting classes or anger management classes..very sad

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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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5/18/10 7:52 P

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California laws still don't protect the child. Our system is over loaded and they do reunification and more times then not the child goes back , the form of abuse might change and the parents get sneakier about hiding from the system.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,613
4/3/10 11:38 A

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I don't know what the system is like here in California any more. When I was a kid all those years ago I know my teachers saw the bruises on me (my father once even sent a note to my teacher TELLING her he'd beaten me) and they figured it was a private family matter and did nothing. As Lori said, today my parents would be in prison for what they did to me. Sometimes it just boils over -- where was all the compassion and support when I needed it?!

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
4/3/10 7:18 A

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I live in Massachusetts

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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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3/31/10 10:28 P

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What state do you work in? I am in California and don't have much faith in our system here. Partly because it is so over loaded and under funded.I've seen some bad placements and situations where the child was returned.

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
3/29/10 9:25 P

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ROTTLADY..I am so sorry to hear about your abuse...and I think it is great that you have chosen a field where you can protect..I went into social work for the same reason...and if my parents did today what they did back then..both would be in jail!!
Thank you for sharing your story!!
Lori

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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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3/29/10 4:46 P

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I was the youngest and a girl, not a son that was wanted. My whole life I was made to feel unwanted and not worth the dirt I walked on. At age 8 the abuse was so bad and the violence for things I didn't do or have control over I began to fight back physically. I felt if I was going to get hurt unfairly I was going to do everything in my power to hurt them back. I was tall and athletic and strong for a girl. I was raised like a boy and worked the ranch so I fought back and that first time it was my mom who went to the hospital, not me. She required surgery and there were questions asked that in this day and age would have had the police and social services involved. I watched my parent lie there way out of me getting any help from out side the family. It never stopped the emotional and spiritual abuse but the beatings weren't as often and they didn't used a piece of wood on me until it broke. There favorite was those paddles with the string and the ball at the end. They didn't break easily. Back as a child we weren't allowed to wear anything but dresses. People knew but nothing was done to protect the child I was suppose to be. So I learned to fight back and use whatever I could get my hands on to equalize things. With my mom I picked up a hammer. It shaped me in the fact I became a police office to protect others and share what I knew was wrong with our system. The physical pain goes away. The emotional and spiritual abuse stays a part of you forever. I have learned to control the physical and have skills to fight back and protect myself. I am working on emotion self healing from on going abuse .I am taking steps to find a place to live so I can get into a healthy safe environment.Everything wrong in life is not my fault. I am only at fault if I do nothing and except the abuse.Thanks to Spark people and this team I have a place to find friendship and help and support. emoticon

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JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
3/6/10 6:58 A

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LadyIrish..I just have one more thing to say..Thank you for sharing such a horrific story with us..a story like that takes a lot of trust to share and I know someone with a background like us have a problem with sharing anything private..whether you know it or not you are on the road to health...

I'm sure I have said it before but darn it ..it needs to be said again..
I went to my therapist and told her I was broken..there was not enough glue that would put me back together..and she said not broken..you are wounded and we have to get to those wound and clean them out..it will be painful...but once we get out all that puss and infection..it will be painful...but it will heal..

May God heal you my dear friend! You are a part of group..that you can say anything and you will not judged..you are part of a group which will you give a hug..and sadly you are a part of a group who knows and understands where you are coming from...keep posting my dear..it will help you and all of us..because as I sit here today I will tell you that there are some members who are terrified to tell their whole story... I am sad for them for having lived through it..and hope as we tell our stories they too will get the fever and share there's..I do want to say you never have to feel pressure to share your story here..just being here will help you..if you do want to share your story but do not want to share the whole story ..that is ok...share a little piece because that little bit of information will ease your burdens

I leave you with an Irish Saying
An Irish Prayer for an Irish gal!
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer

emoticon
Lori

Edited by: JAZZIELORI at: 3/6/2010 (07:05)
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3/5/10 10:20 A

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Ladyirish I to had a father from hell!
He woud hit us with the belt buckle and we had big bruises on us. And like yours it didn't take much of anything to set him off. My mother was just as bad if not worse she beat me for what she thaought I was thinking! LOL! I am serious she would start hitting me and I would ask her why she was hitting me and she would say I know what your thinking and that was why she was beating the crap out of me.

The Good News is that I haven't seen her in thirty years and have no desire to see her ever. He died and no I didnot go to his funernal!

Your not alone we are here for you!
Post anytime and we will encourage you and help when we can! :)

JAZZIELORI's Photo JAZZIELORI Posts: 8,054
2/28/10 12:11 A

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LADYIRISH317..I am so sorry to hear about your past..I'm like you in that I live like a hermit..only leaving the house for errands..I found a grocery store online that will deliver to your house for a few extra dollars..I also found a laundry place that picks up laundry and brings it back the next day smelling clean and folded so nicely..can you see a pattern? I think by the time I have figured out how to get my meds brought to my house..I think I'll be a home body...

I understand abuse like you...the memory of my father coming outside while I was playing in the yard with friends and he had a belt..I didn't know what was wrong..but the belt was for me..I ran into the house to get away from him and was cornered in a door way ..I begged for him to stop and each time I begged gave him more power and he continued to beat the heck out of me...you know what's worse? My mother told me that he had been watching me for days (I lost the key to the rabbit coop) Why didn't she help? She has said to me as an adult that she was happy I was being beaten because she wasn't..she is so screwed up that she told me she was going to haunt me when she dies...I have lost 2 brothers because of that early childhood trauma and am the last one left...I have a younger sister who wrote me a letter last week talking about my demons and how she needs to stay away because she can't sit idly by while another sibling kills themselves..and just to add more to the drama queen she says I feel like I already buried you...there is no answer I can give her..she wasn't abused as we were..so she has no idea what goes on in our minds..she is staying away from me now and I say great! If your not part of the solution you are part of the problem...and one extra problem I don't need..my basket is overfilled

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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,007
2/27/10 2:57 P

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I too joined a Victim Support Group (a real life one) which I found very helpful. To be able to share with others who have gone through similiar experices and to get the pain out I found to be very healing. We realise we are not alone when we share and listen to other peoples experiences.

Also in the Group I belonged to, we learned ways of no longer being a victim of current abuse, or chained to the memories of past abuse.

We are strong women, you are a strong women. We are survivors and can become "thriving survivors" as someone mentioned on this team.

Sending you loving thoughts and hugs Wispy.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 2/27/2010 (15:00)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
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"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
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Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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KOREAMGIRL's Photo KOREAMGIRL Posts: 246
2/27/10 2:18 P

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I'm so sorry you had to go through that! You are a strong woman for sharing your story.

Please visit the blog Violence Unsilenced. It is an amazing place to share and read other survivor's stories.

I spoke out!

violenceunsilenced.com/

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! ~ Anne Frank


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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,613
2/27/10 12:04 P

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I was battered as a child. My father used his belt on me and my siblings for every little thing (and sometimes nothing). Once he was p****d at my sister. When he finished beating her, he started on me just because I was there at the time. He even once knocked me on the floor and kicked me in the face.

I was molested by a stranger when I was ten, and my now-ex used to force me to have unprotected sex after our son was born (afther telling me he was p****d at me for getting pregnant). But then the same husband who used to hold me down later took to refusing totally to have sex. The last year I lived with him, he wouldn't even come to bed until after 2AM to be sure I was asleep "so you can't bother me with your demands." He also called me a nympho on several occasions just for wanting a normal marital sex life.

I've been in therapy my entire adult life and I still have practically zero self esteem. I weigh 400 pounds and feel hideous. I spend weekends hiding in my apartment. I have no social life (except online). Thank God I have a fantastic therapist. I'm a walking disaster area.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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