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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/25/14 6:24 P

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Well many of the teams seem to have a very few people posting - perhaps its summer and people have less time for the computer.

I need SP, I still record my food daily and without the contact I know I would soon be back to my old way of eating. Hate to think how much I would weigh now and how much worse my health would be if I had not found this great site.

Have a good day.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/24/14 11:00 P

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Thanks for that mention and reminder, Wispy. It sometimes feels lonely here, with few members joining the conversation. But we may have members following who don't have the words or the energy, or don't feel safe enough to post, but who may be checking in anyway. I also send my blessings, good wishes and regards to all the SAssies out there. We would love to hear from you when that feels right for you.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/24/14 3:55 A

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For me it is not the abuse so much as the feelings about myself that I formed as a result of what happened to me.

I am learning to be more open and get involved in things that are helpful to me rather than go along with what others want. I used to be very much of a yes person. These days it is much easier to focus on what is helpful for me and leave the rest.

So pleased you had a better day Amanda. It is similar for me also. I can dwell on negative things or I can focus my attention on what I am wanting to accomplish today.

Today has been a good day for me. Had a lovely email from one of my boys who has been overseas and was out shopping with Kim this afternoon. It has been a lovely sunny day and we got lots of things done.

Sweet dreams ladies, whether you are posting, or just reading you are very welcome.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/24/14 12:12 A

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One of the things that helps me--when I remember it--is that my past & the emotions that may get triggered when something today reminds me of my sense of helplessness, or some other aspect of the abuse from decades ago, doesn't have to define me. Even if I don't like something that's happening, it doesn't have to control me or take all my attention. I can choose to focus on positive things, even when there may be people or situations in my life that I don't like or even see as harmful. I can take action, ask for help, but not let the negative stuff control every thought and feeling.

I don't know if that all made sense, but I'm still learning it--or remembering lessons I've learned before--around my job situation. Today was better, mainly because I decided to feel happier and more powerful.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/22/14 9:29 P

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Hi there Chewysmomma.

Good to see you here and look forward to getting to know you.
Yes, some days are definitely better than others.

I find surviving is a journey of getting better. The first step for me was when I realised I needed help and went to a therapist.

Hugs Wispy emoticon

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/22/14 6:20 P

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Well done. Parts work is one of the skills I am most grateful to have learned from therapy.
When they are all in agreement about a course of action things go smoothly.

When I feel uncomfortable after saying or doing something - if I check with the parts, one of them has not liked how I/we have handled a situation. Getting the parts to come to a joint decision is such a great way to move forward and feel happy on the inside.

Have a good day girls.


Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/22/2014 (21:33)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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7/22/14 12:54 A

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I do love the parts work I do with my therapist, Katie. And I was very pleased to give her card and an enthusiastic recommendation to a Spark Friend this weekend. Today I decided (in the shower, where I do some of my most creative thinking), that I very much wanted to give some uncomfortable feedback to my supervisor about some inappropriate behavior. I do not like dealing with conflict, and didn't want to get anxious or emotional, so decided to call on any parts who felt they could bring up what needed to be said, and take on the challenge of doing it as kindly and as forthrightly as possible.

We were very busy, and I wasn't able to address it until after the end of the work day, but I did bring up what I needed to, and felt calm the whole time. That felt like a significant success for me!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/21/14 7:46 P

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Thanks. It always makes my day when I have not gained, or lost a lb or two which I had gained in the preceding week. First time in my life I was ever able to keep my weight anything like stable.

Walking with a spark friend would be a great thing to do. More fun than walking alone.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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7/20/14 10:18 P

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emoticon on the maintenance, Wispy!

My sister and I had a nice visit over lunch with a Spark Friend who lives not far away. It is nice to have Sparkers close enough to see. It's also cool to get to know people around the country and the world, but it is fine to meet face-to-face. I've asked on the Seattle team (over 14,000 people, but not very active) whether anyone wants to walk on weekends, as I've decided I want to get out more. I'll see if I get any response.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/20/14 6:22 P

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Amanda this sounds like a lot of fun, and the chance to meet new people who may turn out to be friends.
Have fun, looking forward to hearing how things are going.

It's a beautiful sunny day here. Just perfect for mid winter. Just usual routine for me today, but plan on making it as happy as possible. It was weigh in day for me, and I am exactly spot on the nose of maintenance. Very pleased with that as I have blood tests tomorrow. Hopefully all will be well.

My computer is doing very strange things, no idea why, have to see what happens later.

Enjoy your day ladies.


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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7/20/14 12:24 A

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I did some internet searching and started noting some possible trails & parks for outings. I've realized I need to get out more and have fun, so I plan to visit one or 2 new places each month. Already have plans to see my sister and a Spark Friend tomorrow, so will check out the first place the following weekend. If I can find someone to join me, fine; if not, I'll go on my own--and report to y'all what I find!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/19/14 6:19 P

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Hi ladies, I am happy to be safe and free from the fears of life with an abusive partner.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/18/14 11:41 P

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I made sure I got some wellness tasks done today at work, which made me feel much better. Even though they were late, I got them done. That helped me feel more successful and happier at work.

I'm continuing to read This Time I Dance! by Tama Kieves & still loving it. I also got her next book Inspired and Unstoppable from the library, looking forward to that as well. I'm reading The Passion Test at work, which is also good, but doesn't speak to my soul the way Tama's writing does.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 7/19/2014 (00:40)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/18/14 9:21 P

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Becazican, like your sense of humour. So essential not to take ourselves too seriously - something I tend to do when I am upset.

Those thoughts that keep on running round in our heads are sometimes hard to get rid of.
Sure hope the problem gets sorted. I am working on a quote that is proving helpful in letting negative thoughts go "I am powerless over other people". Big sigh emoticon aint that just the truth.

Hugs Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/18/14 8:55 P

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Salam, Amanda has just told me where I have said the opposite of what I meant and on searching back I can see where what I posted is confusing.

I posted this 11th July in response to a post of yours.

"WOW girl you are doing just great.
You are now beginning to see what is really going on, which means you are no longer being sucked into THE FACT that its your fault."

"What I meant was " that you are no longer being sucked into HIS TELLING you it is your fault."

It does look as if I am saying the opposite of what I meant. So sorry if I confused you.

Thanks Amanda for noticing it. emoticon






Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/18/2014 (21:16)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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BECAZICAN's Photo BECAZICAN Posts: 19
7/18/14 8:37 P

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Today I let a problem I can't control continue to bother me even though I have done all I can regarding it. So I paid the part of the bill I am not disputing and sent another letter of protest.

What happened is still upsetting. It took 13 minutes for the trouble to be created start to finish. And the waiting for someone else to make a decision concerning it is irritating.

I'm grumbling. But I do feel better now! emoticon Frankly Wispy, you seem healthier then me today. I wonder when I will get to upsetting people unintentionally? emoticon




"Abuse is a many splintered thing: It fragments lives. But we CAN recover. I Can &
so can YOU!
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/17/14 12:46 A

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Good for you Amanada.

I seem to be in a phase where everytime I post something I am upsetting someone.
Very strange. This is the third time in the last 3 or 4 days and I cannot remember having had this happen in a very long while.

I am sure it is all for a very good reason. Hope I find out soon what I need to learn, because the last thing I want to do is upset anyone. Imagine what havoc I could wreck if I actually tried. emoticon

Just in case I am stating here and now that this last is a joke. emoticon

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/17/14 12:28 A

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My talk yesterday with my supervisor proved very helpful, and I was in a better place today. As I walked in from my car (I park some ways away in a spot that stays shady most of the day, so it takes time), I asked if I had any parts who were ready to have some fun at work. And the day did feel lighter. I even got an aggravated customer in a better mood with my arm pumps and shouting "Yes!" when his corrected bond and insurance came in quickly by fax, right after I finished another customer, having had to put him off until all the right paperwork arrived. He admitted my enthusiasm made him feel better, and he apologized for being cranky, saying he knew we didn't make the sometimes cumbersome rules. Anyway, despite being very short-staffed (1 out sick, 2 at meetings part of the day), I did okay, which was a welcome change.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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7/16/14 1:36 A

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I'm also very thankful you have a support system! Sending prayers your way!

The PTS may not be "cured" or go away, but it will get triggered less often, the more healing work you do, and you'll find you can bring yourself out of it sooner, without staying stuck so long in the dark. At least that's been my experience.

Wishing you--and all of us--the very best! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,199
7/15/14 6:56 P

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Oh honey, yes breathe woman I so agree with that. emoticon

$700 is a lot of money indeed. I am so pleased that you have family supporting you while you go through this difficult time. I know it is hard to believe sometimes that things will get better, but I am believing right along with you.

I have been through a similar thing myself including the panic attacks. Stress seems to trigger the PTSD. This is normal. Just knowing I was normal and others had been through similar things helped me a lot. I no longer felt alone.

Hugs Wispy


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/15/14 4:04 P

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Having a small anxiety attack. A/C repairman just gave me the estimate...$700. And honestly, between the humidity and the 100+ temperatures, I can't not have it. My mom & uncle are basically supporting me right now while I get back on my feet...PTSD has not helped with that, but I am getting a lot better. But still, I try to live very inexpensively, so $700 really throws me.

Just breathe, woman. Just breathe.

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7/14/14 10:20 P

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Oops, sorry about the spoiler! Now it's back to re-watching the Gilmore Girls on DVD; I'm on Season 2. I'm still over 500 in line for the Saving Mr. Banks movie, but then I started at over 1500! I was very pleased with how fast the Downton Abbey came in--it amazes me than they will purchase hundreds of copies of the most popular titles.

Off to fix a salad for dinner.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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7/14/14 12:08 A

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It is a series I have never watched, so one day I will have the pleasure of doing what you are doing right now and going through them all. :o)

Enjoy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/13/14 10:28 P

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I've watched the whole season (of Downton Abbey) on 3 discs: 8 episodes plus the longer "movie" special that ends the season & sets up the next year. Season 3 ended with Matthew's death, this one with 2 suitors for Mary, and numerous continuing subplots. I love the storytelling and the grand cast. I'm watching the special features now, which are so much fun!

Fortunately it never hit 90 degrees as expected. I hope it does rain to cool things and freshen the air. I've been running fans for days, and not doing too much, though I have managed groceries, laundry, some friend contacts and sorting through mail, files and paper--a project I hope to continue making progress on in my own babystepping way!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/13/14 6:51 P

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Yes thanks Amanda, I found Brene and also John Bradshaw among others.

I then googled 'toxic shame' and got great results from that.
So much has been written about it.

Enjoy Downtown Abbey.






Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/13/2014 (19:04)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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7/13/14 12:56 A

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Harriet Lerner and Brene Brown have written some good books dealing with shame--and other issues and empowering ideas.
emoticon
Got season 4 of Downton Abbey from the library; I can't stop watching the episodes!
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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7/12/14 8:01 P

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It is like looking at my life in technicolour. I guess maybe we have to be at a particular place to actually check it out. It is strange because someone told me about this woman... I checked her out on you tube and thought she was a preacher and was not going to even listen, then for some reason I did. Must have been my Higher Power with his hand on my shoulder.
She was not a preacher. I then went on to read other stuff - your therapist is right there is so much about it.

What a relief just to know that it is a recognised condition, that it is real and that it is so prevalent and best of all for me - that it is not my fault. I have joined a group now.
I have got so much strength and hope from groups since I was 30 - strange because I remember when one counselor, a very long long time ago, suggested I join a group there was absolutely no way I would even consider it. emoticon

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/12/2014 (20:07)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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7/12/14 7:36 P

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A therapist once mentioned toxic shame to me. She actually said there is a lot of information about it, and that I should research it, but I forgot about it til you mentioned it. So thanks!

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7/12/14 7:25 P

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Hi there on this Sunday morning. Hope you guys have a good weekend.

Well I have discovered something I don't think I have heard of, although it does kind of sound familiar. Maybe I heard of it, but just never made a connection with myself.

It is called Toxic Shame. I know I have several emotional/mental issues including neurotic guilt, but have now discovered that guilt and shame are quite different. When I started reading about toxic shame, every word spokw to me. It is me on a plate - as they say in the cookery shows. emoticon emoticon





"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/11/14 10:18 P

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emoticon Sounds like you are getting stronger as well as more clear about it all. emoticon Definitely emoticon about the official support and validation. And emoticon on the face painting. I remember making a mask in a workshop with smoke (at least that's what I tried for) coming out of my nostrils, as a symbol of owning my anger. All positive evolution.

Today was better: I had some nice moments with coworkers and customers, and I started a new self-help book that really speaks--even sings--to me. It is This Time I Dance! by Tama Kieves; I love her message and the way she writes, as well.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/11/14 7:56 P

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I am so happy to read this post.

WOW girl you are doing just great. You are now beginning to see what is really going on, which means you are no longer being sucked into the fact that its your fault.

Keeping a clear head is wonderful. I understand about the cat. I thought mine might kill my birds. He loved the cat so no fear there. He used to kick me over in the bed to make room for the cat so he could cuddle it!! He knew how much I loved the birds and I was afraid he might harm them but he did not.

The fact that the cops are taking you seriously is a big thing. To me emotional abuse is as bad as physical, but they do not seem to view it so. Physical violence ties in with what they already think of as police business. I dont think they can even do much with stalkers unless they actually do something violent. Sad but true. So much mental and emotional harm is done and goes by un-noticed until something violent does happen.

That is what I got from the victim support group - empowerment. Never really thought of it like that. But it is the thing I get in any group that is supportive and on the same wavelength.

I suppose your husband doesn't have any record with the police by any chance? I changed my phone number a while back because I was getting annoying phone calls from some guy.

Great idea to keep a journal and keep incident reports. It is the same over here. Even over here if they cant do anything at the time, the reports are there if he does step over that line.
Just thinking, can you get an order to keep away from you? Forget what they call it. Or will they only give that if there is violence?

Look forward to hearing from you again. Thank you for sharing.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/12/2014 (19:14)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/11/14 3:09 A

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I've been going through a lot of stress...in court with my ex yesterday about the TRO, but it got postponed because his lawyer couldn't be there...and his actions last week were pretty crazy, so that was stressful. Got a call from my Mom that he had phoned her and been vaguely threatening.

But through it all I keep thinking how cool it is that I am so clear-headed through this bout with him. Like I finally realized that his manipulations are just that. Manipulations. More importantly, I am not terrified by him. Angry, yes. Concerned for my kids, yes. Disgusted and fed up, yes. But not terrified. Maybe I should be, considering my cat's disappearance, but mostly I am just done with wasting energy on him.

Gotta say, without him sucking up all my time and energy, my house is significantly cleaner.

But you know what has been the best part? The cops where I am living now take me seriously. Where I was before (10 minutes away, just over the county line) cops really, REALLY did not take emotional/verbal abuse seriously. I got "It sounds like he's just upset, and blowing off steam, you should go on home" more that once. I was nearly 51-50'd when I got out, I was so mentally gone. Here, the cops say things like "I believe you. Legally, I can't do anything yet, but keep a journal and keep calling and getting incident numbers when things happen." The one cop who acted exasperated by my call (ironically, the only female in the bunch) was the one who said "Go ahead and keep your drapes open! If he spies on you, Call us! Bad enough he kept you isolated, don't isolate yourself now that you got rid of him!" Knowing that the X was wrong, and someone DOES believe me, is totally empowering!

Also, at the Farmers market today I had the face painter give me a villainous mustache, and that was pretty empowering, too. emoticon

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7/10/14 6:49 P

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So sorry to hear about the problems Amanda, but so much better to voice them than keep them bottled up inside. It is something that always makes me feel lighter.

Yes, unsubscribing from stuff that is not helpful is a good feeling. In fact I am thinking of one right now that it will be a good idea to do that. Thank you for reminding me. :o)


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/10/14 2:08 P

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I'm home struggling with PTS, money worries, job stress, but I managed to wash the dishes & clean stovetop & sink. Then I unsubscribed to 2 email subscriptions I got on that were supposed to be helpful, but just added to the stress and virtual clutter. I also deleted just over 45 emails from one of them, which oddly makes me feel lighter. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/10/14 12:27 A

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It's certainly not necessary to have a Spark page, but they can be fun--it gives friends and teammates a place to drop by and say Hi, leave goodies, comments, encouragement, and you can share a little bit about yourself. You can always start out with a very simple page, and add to it as you go. You can get ideas from visiting other members' pages.

Not sure why my weight took a little jump--my eating and exercise haven't really changed. I chose to forego a Costco run after work, and instead did 30 min-plus with an exercise DVD. I'm very consistent with walking, but do enjoy adding other exercises and strength training sometimes.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/9/14 8:44 P

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Hey there Montie happy to see you make it here honey. emoticon

First off, just know we care about you although we cannot get to your Spark page.

Sorry to hear you are feeling tired and sore. I can sure identify with the tired bit, I was wide awake most of the night. Not unusual for me by the way. emoticon

A little about me so perhaps you will feel at home.

I come from an abusive childhood, married first husband who was a good man, but emotionally unavailable, probably would have had no idea to relate to any other type of person and wanted to escape from home.

Second husband was physical and emotionally abusive and after leaving many times and going back I finally left and went to a victim support group suggested by the police.

There is where I began to learn really about my life. So much in keeping with all the others in the group. I was no longer alone.

I am a person who has very low self esteem, fear, depression, anxiety, phobias and used to be very negative.

I have learned how to be a more positive person and to look at life differently so that I can focus on looking at the good rather than the bad. As incidentally you are doing in your post.

I am also a sober alcoholic for many years, also had several other addictions to deal with once I got sober. I have found that sharing with others who understand has been the backbone of my recovery from a life of despair.

Hope you may be able to identify with perhaps some of the things I mention so that you feel safer to open up.

However please remember that you are on line in an open forum, so only share what will not harm you in any way.

Hugs Wispy



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/9/14 7:50 P

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Hmmm...tired and sore today:) However....if this is as bad as it gets..I still had a good day. Overall I'm blessed!!!! How is everyone else?

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7/9/14 5:36 P

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Sounds like lovely weather in your area Amanda and I do admire you for having got into the habit of walking three times during the day at work.

Today is another wild and windy one here. Dont think the storms were bad, at least not where I am, during the night as I slept soundly all night.

If you check into this thread Montie, Hi there and feel free to post anything you would like to say. If you would like to share difficult topics that are distressing you there is a thread for the hard stuff.

Hugs Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/9/14 12:29 A

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Temps are in the 80s here, which is warmer than I prefer, but there's sometimes a breeze which makes the walks at work more pleasant. I can do my loop clockwise or counterclockwise, and have started doing the 1:30 and 4 pm walks in the direction where I walk in the sun first, and end in the shade. I've always been a "save the best till last" person. I'm also a "shade chaser" as one friend termed it--I'll go considerably out of my way and park much farther away from where I'm going if I can park in the shade, cuz I dislike getting in a hot, stuffy car!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/8/14 9:04 P

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Wild and windy over here. Storms forecast for overnight again with maybe power outages. Sure hope it passes by without too much damage.

I have just made a bit pan of beef curry. Love curry. :o) So at least I will be warm on the inside.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/8/14 1:05 A

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I just posted an article link in the tips and tools forum. Sorry, I beat & going to bed now! Blessings to all! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/5/14 10:48 P

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I'm having a good day. Cant believe it is almost 3pm. I woke up late and am just thinking of going to make something to eat.

Wild weather during the night, but its been a sunny mild day. Got several things done that I have been putting off. Always feels good when they are completed.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/5/14 12:42 A

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After writing responses to some of the essay-type supplemental questions out in longhand, I began typing them into a Word document that somehow makes the whole application process seem more real. When I'm done, I'll paste them into the appropriate places in the online application itself. I think I may need to create a more detailed work history for this position, since they ask for details of various kinds of work experience, I should probably give the employment details for the job experience I refer to.

I'm ready to take a break, though, and do some reading and watching of area fireworks from my balcony. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/4/14 8:28 P

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Happy 4th July to all of you who celebrate it. Cant remember if I said that yesterday. It is the 5th here now.

Lovely sunny day, high wind. Safe and happy. Warm and comfy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/4/14 5:19 P

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Forgot to turn off the alarm yesterday morning, so woke up to it today--went ahead and got up. Just finished 2 loads of laundry--just need to get it all hung and put away. I've started back on the current application, and regretting that I haven't worked on it this week, with it due Monday. May try for a nap soon.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/4/14 10:21 A

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We don't really have big celebration days. We have holiday days for sure and long weekends off work for one reason or another.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/3/14 11:49 P

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I've been listening to the booms of fireworks going off a day early. They are a big part of celebrating July 4th--our Independence Day. What kind of celebration does New Zealand have, and when?

And where are you, Salam? Or any other members who care to chime in?

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 7/3/2014 (23:50)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/3/14 12:16 A

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Great insights at the session today Amanada.

I am currently working in the area of acceptance and surrender to being and loving the person I am now.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/2/14 11:51 P

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Tech issues can really get to me, so wishing you the best on that!

Today's high was 12 degrees cooler than yesterday's, thankfully!

I had an intense, very helpful therapy session today. I was dealing with some inner conflicts between parts, and we discussed a relationship dynamic I was unfamiliar with: the cycle of resonance, rift or rupture (depending on the magnitude of the conflict), and repair. Growing up, I never saw healthy conflict resolution--there was just lots of pretense and denial, domination and submission--so I've always been rather afraid of conflict and expressions of anger. So it was extremely helpful--even liberating--to realize the goal isn't to prevent any possible rifts or ruptures (conflicts), but to focus on positive repairing when inevitable hurts and disagreements arise.

Don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but I was pretty excited and relieved to have a new tool and understanding, and to realize I don't have to worry about "not doing it all right" or making someone mad or hurting their feelings or getting mad or hurt myself. So if that speaks to anyone else, cool!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/2/14 7:17 P

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Sweet dreams. Meanwhile here it is kind of chilly and bracing. :o)

Well I have spent ages trying to set up a new email account. Still not sure if it has worked.
The one I had is so difficult to find anything. It seems I am not the only one who has trouble with it. Something Microsoft seem to have taken over..... or changed.

Anyhow hoping the change is going to work out.

xx

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/2/14 12:06 A

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Sorry, we hit the 90s today, and I'm wilted, so won't do much Sparking. I managed a few small chores in babysteps, but I'm about done in.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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7/1/14 10:33 P

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Today, I am feeling rested, relaxed and at peace.

I did some gardening this morning and chatted a lot with friends on line.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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7/1/14 3:05 P

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I'm feeling a bit tired and forgetful. A bit unfocused. I was up with a sick kid last night. Also, I think I need new glasses!

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7/1/14 12:21 A

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Took lazy day off. We have what's called a Personal Leave Day that we have to use by the end of the fiscal year--which ends today, 6/30. I had forgotten to schedule mine, and luckily was able to arrange today off, or I would have lost it. So I went to the gym, visited with my sister (who had driven her DH up to Seattle where he had a medical procedure done), then donated blood. I've been feeling lazy ever since.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/30/14 9:48 P

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Today I am feeling great joy. I have found the solution to a long standing challenge.

What forces me to my knees brings me right back to my Higher Power.
Have to say today. Thank you for the emotional pain.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 6/30/2014 (21:48)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/30/14 2:44 A

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Stronger. More in control. Therapy is helping.

Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Maintaining your weight is hard.

Choose your hard.


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6/29/14 8:40 P

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It was on U Tube. Then listened to a meditation by Wayne Dyer called IamthatIam, also on U tube. It was a very good day all round.

Your life is sounding balanced. Work, exercise and play.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/29/14 1:54 A

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Was the interview on the radio or a library CD? I bet it was interesting.

I'm feeling virtuous today, since I got a lot done--garbage & recycling out to dumpsters, handwashing, dishes, made stock with veggie trimmings, litter box, got AAA membership renewed, kitchen floor scrubbed, a head of red cabbage chopped for salads (with knife & cutting board--no food processor here). Plus I did the 5-minute workout again--I like it!

I also spoke with 2 friends on the phone today: starting to plan a vacation next year with an out-of-state friend, and catching up after several months with a more local one. It was nice to balance out the housework.


Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/28/14 6:58 P

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Good for you. Looks like a good workout. Thanks for sharing.

Yesterday I watched and listened to an interview with Ram Dass and Eckhart Tolle.
Food for thought and the spirit. I really enjoyed it.


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/28/14 1:04 A

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I didn't get on this earlier in the month, but I got around a bit late this morning, so didn't do any exercise other than the usual 3 walks at work until I got home. This evening, I did a 5-minute routine of cardio & strength exercises (without tools), which was the second time in 2 days!
emoticon www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
st
=a_5minute_wake_up_call_for_your_whoR>le_body


Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/27/14 10:01 P

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I would be the same as you Amanda. Fixing things is not my forte. In fact I have a rail with far too much stuff on it and it has been bowing in the middle for some time. If it breaks I will need to get a guy to come in and sort something out.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/27/14 12:05 A

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I also know little of Islamic observances. I know Native Americans sometimes combine fasting with their spiritual traditions, such as vision quests. I will be interested to hear of your experience. I do hope you will stay tuned in to the purpose and intention of the holy days, and not too focused on "doing it right" or being "perfect."

I don't have much to share of substance, but here's news from my corner of the world:

--I just broke a shelf in the bedroom closet and have no idea how to fix it. A hook holding the shelf up snapped off when I heave a couple of (empty) suitcases onto it. It might be an easy fix, but I'm pretty clueless about what it would take. For now I transferred my tops to the bottom rail where they don't fit as well, but they aren't too heavy.

--Work continues to be crazy, with more to do than I can really keep up with, so I just do what I can and practice a lot of letting go. Everyone in the unit got an invitation via our office manager for a "stay interview" with the regional administrator. I responded with an enthusiastic "Absolutely! Anytime!" Some businesses are starting to recognize they might benefit from gathering candid feedback about what's right and wrong with an organization before an employee is headed out the door, and thus supplementing the traditional "exit interview" (where telling the truth won't get you in trouble) with "stay interviews." We'll see if it actually happens and whether anything comes of it.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/25/14 7:40 P

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Amy, thank you for sharing.

My knowledge of Muslim is very limited, but I think the fast is from sunrise to sunset. Wondering if it would be possible to add vitamins or supplements to plain water during the day?

Another thought might be to talk to your leader (sorry I don't know what the leader of a Muslim church is called) and explain your concerns, especially the health aspect. Many people need to eat at specific times on a regular basis so as not to affect their physical or mental health.

Being selfless is a very high and noble state and I agree with what you say about intention.



Edited by: -WISPY- at: 6/25/2014 (20:04)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/25/14 6:43 P

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I have 2 girls 8 & 6. We buy more garlic every week emoticon .

I'm nervous because I am not actually Muslim, though my girls have been raised to be, and I work for a Muslim school. This will be my first full fasting for Ramadan. I know it's more about intention that getting it "right", but I don't want the stress of fasting to upset what health, both mental and physical, that I have achieved in the last few months.

However, I am really hopeful that this will help me with my spirituality. So I'm not being entirely selfless. emoticon

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6/25/14 3:29 A

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How many little ones are in your care Amy?

Ramadan starts 29th of June this year I believe. Sending you blessings and peace for your month of prayer and fasting.

Amanda, over here I buy a bag of fresh garlic bulbs, but also have some of the dried stuff in case I run out. emoticon



Edited by: -WISPY- at: 6/25/2014 (03:45)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/25/14 1:29 A

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I spent today connecting the school I work for to different social sites. I'm afraid it wasn't my finest parenting moments, but it took a lot of concentration, so I couldn't be active with them. Sort of wish I had spent the day doing laundry instead, because at least I'd be moving around more. Tomorrow will involve reading for my class, and preparing my kids and house for Ramadan.

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6/25/14 12:11 A

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Yes, the last time I bought it, I got a *BIG* container of chopped garlic (48 oz.) at Costco (a wholesale membership store, famous for it's plus-size packaging), so I can add big heaping spoonsful to my cooking.
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/24/14 4:48 P

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I see we are both garlic lovers. I do tend to be a bit heavy handed for other people. :o)
Soup was yum... so it tom chutney. Very happy with the results.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/24/14 12:23 A

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Sounds great, Wispy! I enjoy making nice chunky soups from scratch--or I'll start with canned or packaged soup, then add lots of my own ingredients (especially extra veggies & lots of garlic, sometimes legumes for more fiber) & end up creating something new.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/23/14 10:59 P

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Hi everyone, well it is a lovely sunny day today. Got some weeding done yesterday and this morning it was laundry and cleaning day. Also made tomato sauce. Love home made, it is more chunky than sauce really. A chutney. Having it with sausages and puree cauliflower for dinner. YUMEE.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/22/14 11:19 P

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Well I have to admit I'm feeling a bit embarrassed. I haven't done a very good job of welcoming our new members with timely welcome goodies. I just did that, and had to go back to the last several to join to see who had received one. So apologies to our newest members for my tardy goodies. But I'm so glad more have joined us. Whether you are posting actively or not, I hope some of you are reading discussions and feeling encouraged, knowing others face some of the same challenges you do.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/22/14 9:39 P

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Hi there ladies,

Catrina, I think that is one of the reasons why I, and many others keep going back into the damaging relationship. So grateful that I finally discovered a new way of life that did not involve being abused just to have a 'special someone' in my life.

You are doing great in acknowledging how you feel. Joining new groups and clubs I was interested in helped me not to be alone. At that time. Feeling lonely was tied up with my being alone.

Thank you for sharing.

Great plan to get more balance. I could most likely do with some of that too. :o)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/21/14 11:24 P

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Catrina, welcome! I remember the absolute relief and peace I felt when I got my own place after leaving my emotionally abusive husband. I've been lonely at different times over the years since then, but I know I'd rather be alone than in a harmful, unhealthy relationship.

I started a new Challenge thread if anyone is interested. I'm really wanting to create a better balance in my life--which I talk about there.

Wishing you all a blessed solstice.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/21/14 9:48 P

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Lonely. Husband of 23 years has moved out. I'm grateful for the peace and feeling stronger, but feelings of loneliness are always there. One day at a time.

Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Maintaining your weight is hard.

Choose your hard.


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6/21/14 6:27 P

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I am grateful for walking up to the top of the hill today without needing to stop on the way.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/21/14 2:29 A

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After going way too long with no strength training, just walking, I finally did an abs workout: ~ 8 minutes or 9 sets of 20 reps on different exercises. I used to do these more often, but got out of the habit, and will probably feel my muscles tomorrow!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/20/14 8:48 P

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Think that is a wonderful plan Amanda. Not taking it too seriously will relieve the pressure somewhat of being shorter staffed than you are already. It is not your responsibility to take the weight of the department on your shoulders - although I think perhaps you are a person who is very dedicated to doing a great job.

We both love curry, but James enjoys his hotter than I do. That is just a question of a little more chili for him. :o) They are one of my favourite dishes to cook as well as eat out.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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6/20/14 12:21 A

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Hope you have a great lunch with your son. Do you both favor hot curries?

We're going to be short-handed tomorrow. 3 of our 4 permanent Customer Service Specialists are interviewing for a different position, so it's possible we'll be losing somebody soon. I'm deciding to try to take work as "not seriously" as possible. I'll do as good a job as I can, but won't take on pressure that results from low pay, frequent turn over, and poor management.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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