Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/23/14 12:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A Fabulous Fall Equinox and a Merry Mabon to all! I did a small harvest ritual as suggested in A Woman's Book of Rituals & Celebrations, which I love, before my holiday Tarot reading. I try to do one for most of the 8 festival days of the year, though I missed Lammas; the last one was on the Summer Solstice.

Even aside from the meaning of each card, I was surprised at the card distribution and orientation. I do an 11-card spread. With these round cards, they can point up, down, left or right, or any degree in between, which affects the interpretation. Out of 11, one was pretty much left, 4 mostly pointing down, and 6 pointing basically up (I usually have no more than 1 to 3 upright cards). And a Tarot deck has 22 Major Arcana cards (archetypes from Fool to World), plus 56 Minor Arcana (4 suits of 1-10 plus 4 face cards, similar to playing cards today, which came from tarot decks), and out of 11 cards, I turned over 8 Major and 3 Minor Arcana. I've never had that many Major Arcana in one reading!

I want to do some prep for my meeting with the Regional Administrator tomorrow, then get to bed in good time tonight.

Thanks, Wispy, I will check it out!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/22/14 12:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sure, just look up his website. I have it book marked so it doesnt give me an address... or maybe it does, hang on a tic.... palousemindfulness.com/selfguidedMBS
R_
gettingstarted.html


There you go. I think you can reach the homepage from there. I have just started week 3.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 9/22/2014 (00:47)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/21/14 12:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Can you get me more info on that meditation program, Wispy?

How wild, I haven't met another Sparker who knows about Living Love. I attended a 9-month trainer course at the Ken Keyes Center in Coos Bay, OR, and became a trainer there! I still listen to the CDs of the Living Love songs!

My energy is finally coming back, and I did some planning around the apartment. I labeled a sheet of paper for each room/area, and wrote down what I do there (activities & functions), what the issues are, and what kind of regular cleaning is required. I also made sure to do something positive in each area and wrote it down. I'm thinking I may later start a list of projects for each one on the back. I felt pretty productive, which was nice!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/20/14 10:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good golly Amanda, that was somewhere in my own journey too. I got a lot of help from the Living Love programme. :)

Right now I am doing an 8 week free on line daily meditation course organised by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It is very good indeed. I can understand why the friend who told me about it is so enthralled. Very simple and all English words (which is something I personally like).

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/20/14 12:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I also loved your sharing, Amy. And I totally get that what speaks to me may not speak to someone else, Wispy. While many of us share lots of things in common, we are all unique as well.

One of my tried and true affirmations, from my Living Love days, was founder Ken Keyes' favorite saying, "I am beautiful, capable and lovable." He recommended repeating it to yourself 1000 times a day. You could pick up a traffic counter and click the button with each repetition until you reached 1000.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/19/14 8:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi ladies, Amy, I just love that. That is also what I am practicing. Prasising myself at every opportunity for all the good things I do every day - have to say here when I remember. When I am feeling good I tend to forget. Maybe that is the thing... we need to hear these positive things when we are stressed.

I am loving that your little one is saying these wonderful things to herself. All I ever told myself were awful things. Never knew that children do things like that automatically. I am thinking she must have heard these words from you and she is believing them.

It makes me so aware of the things we say to children, especially little ones and even babies. Being loved and knowing we are good and smart is such a great gift.

Amanda, I am so pleased that you mention those words helping you. I did not mean that some affirmations are no good, or wrong. I am sure you know that already. emoticon

I believe we all have to find words that appeal to our inner selves for our own mantras.
I try them on for size and if they make me "feel" positive I use those ones.

Have a good weekend ladies.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 317
9/19/14 1:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
You know, mantras recently took on a whole new meaning for me. I have this new preschooler (age 3) who sort soothes herself with self talk, like "I am a good girl. I am a smart girl. I am big enough to go to school because I am very smart. This is my school, because I am a smart girl." She repeats these to herself whenever she starts to get stressed out by the unfamiliar rules and new kids.It's not uncommon for kids that age to do this, in fact it's considered very healthy and supports language and emotional progress.

But it struck me that these things that come naturally are much healthier than the things we are taught...like how to be silent, or to believe that we are somehow less than. I've started saying it to myself now. "I am a smart girl. I am a pretty girl. I like me."

It's kind of simple, but I feel like the 3 year old inside me is smiling. emoticon



 current weight: 203.0 
 
213
196.75
180.5
164.25
148
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/18/14 11:58 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Interesting how different words and phrases affect us in unique ways. When Katie shared the mantra/affirmation "Now matter what -- always -- I am enough -- just as I am -- right now" it affected me deeply, and I started to cry, because I want so badly to know, and feel and recognize that. I definitely have parts who still feel they need to do, earn or accomplish in order to be OK or acceptable. It doesn't matter that my head knows that's not so, I still feel it on some level, so that mantra (which I like to tweak and rearrange) is very comforting and reassuring.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/18/14 1:25 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Well dont know why really, but when I read the words how are you feeling today, the line of a song I heard recently came to mind.

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day and I'm feeling good." It made me feel good just hearing the words.

A friend of mine told me about a mantra she is using at present and it's working well. Very simple. "I am OK." No matter what she is feeling like, she just tells herself this and it lifts her spirits and makes her feel more positive.

I tried "I am enough" at one time, but it did not resonate with me. I need to be saying something that I can feel and picture in my mind as well as say.


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/18/14 12:21 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Catching back up at work. Didn't get too tired, but taking it easy tonight. Finished one good book, started another. I'm enjoying these Southern series very much, one set in Alabama during the Depression, one in contemporary Mississippi.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/16/14 9:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I know what you mean Amanda. It is hard not to think of the outcome we would like.
But like you I pray for the best outcome and that is not always what I hope it will be at the time.

Blessings

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/16/14 9:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm embarrassed that I got so little done today. I'll go back to work tomorrow and see how I hold up. I'm trying not to think too much about whether or not I'll get an offer--or what that may be. I guess I want to just keep praying for the right outcome, and for my greatest good to be served.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/15/14 10:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Feel better soon Amanda. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/15/14 9:03 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was sorry I didn't have more energy on Saturday, as I was coming down hard with my cold. I went through an entire box of tissues at work. I was backing up the first of 3 yearly Saturday seminars for medical providers put on each fall, and depending on how Friday's interview pans out, it might be my last one. I like working Saturdays, because there are no interruptions, and I was able to go through old stacked papers and files.

I got cold medicine and more tissues on the way home. Thankfully the non-stop sneezing and runny nose have settled down, but I'm awfully draggy still. I called my supervisor to warn her I'm not sure whether I'll be in tomorrow or not.

I did get thank you emails sent to all the people I met with on Friday. I will just wait and see what they decide.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/13/14 7:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great attitude Amanda. Looking for something you will like better, but OK with staying where you are.

It all sounds like a very interesting experience and it may just all turn up roses. You were pleased with what you said and did. Loving it.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/12/14 11:58 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So on my day off Wednesday, I finally listened to phone messages in the evening and found one from a lady with the WA Student Achievement Council saying they had a new opening for a position I applied for back in May. They would be interviewing on Friday (she called on Tuesday), and was I still interested? I called her number that night, discovered she would be out Thursday and Friday, but she gave another person's number. I called that person and left a message that I was definitely interested. I called during my morning break on Thursday and set a time; I was glad to hear her say they had several openings. The first person had mentioned they weren't posting the job externally--just offering it as a transfer internally in their own small agency, and to a few previous applicants--like me! So it was flattering and encouraging to be one of the few invited.

I had a 10:20 appointment, but left about 8:30, as the 55 mile drive takes at least an hour, and there was supposed to be some major construction work beginning at the end today. Traffic was great going down, and I got there in about 65 minutes! No slow up in Olympia at all. I checked in and used the rest room, then went for a walk. I returned and was reviewing material when my throat started tickling. I remembered I had cough drops in a bag in the car, so went to get a few. When I returned a few minutes after 10, the unit supervisor I had set the interview with invited me to get started early.

I met with a panel of 4, who asked some very good questions. I think I did well, and they appreciated the update page I gave them all reviewing what had changed for me since my original application had been submitted, and reviewing why I was a worthy candidate. They also liked my question regarding what the supervisor would like to see in 3 or 6 months on the job. Then she showed me the work area, took me around to meet some folks, and left me with 4 more people in the work group I would be joining. They had preset questions to ask me, and I was able to ask them questions--about what they liked best and found most challenging about the job.

I don't know how many others they may be looking at. I think I made a positive impression. I felt good about it all. And the really cool thing is I would love to get an offer, but I won't be terribly disappointed if I don't. I'm not feeling as desperate to leave, like I have to escape. I want to leave, to find a better place to work, but it's more a case of wanting to move toward something I will like more, than needing to leave something behind. It just feels different, and like it might happen rather easily. They are hoping to make a decision quickly, so I look forward to hearing their decision.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/11/14 6:36 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Well as it has turned out it has been a a very busy week, dont know what I was thinking of on Wednesday. So busy yesterday did not finish till bed time, then I was too hyped to sleep.
Got so much done in the garden and out shopping and a few other things that had to be done.

Very happy all is good. I have found a female gardener and partner and they are just excellent. They are happy to do indoor and outdoor work. I just cant believe my luck. Sure hope they come back because we worked so well yesterday and got so much done.

Sweet dreams all. I really am going to rest today. Watched TV cos I couldnt sleep and then woke up at 5.30 this morning, wide awake so no chance of going back to sleep.

Will try and get meditation in earlier today. I have all day day so I can do it whenever I like.

Bliss.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/11/14 12:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
'm really glad I took the whole day off today. Had a much bigger reaction than I expected to the prospect of a pelvic exam with a new doctor, even though I had chosen her from the bio and philosophy brief on the website. It turned out OK, but I had a part go through some strong fear and anxiety on the drive and while in the exam room. But she handled it well, and I look forward to working with her in the future. I got my free flu shot since thy offered. But after a few groceries and having lunch at home, I crashed on the couch. Got up in time to have some coffee before heading to my appointment with Katie. We started with more diagnostics, as we did last week: she's trying to develop a case for my continuing treatment that would be covered by health insurance. They're getting more restrictive, only wanting to pay if you really "need" it. Got into some pretty intense stuff, but I don't know what the powers that be will decide.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/10/14 12:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon for the recruiter endorsement, Amy--I'll keep it in mind.

Enjoy your rest day, Wispy!

I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I have a morning doctor's appt (routine pap screening and physical) and my afternoon appt with Katie. I decided not to go in for a few hours in the middle of the day, as I have lots of sick leave to use. I got permission to do this before I realized our office is being audited by another office tomorrow--checking on our internal security, document and cash controls, mainly. It will be interesting for it to happen without me, since I've been more involved with much of the administrative tasks than anyone else there. It will actually be a good test of how they do without me. Sort of a rehearsal for when I finally leave.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/9/14 4:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi there ladies,

Puppy sounds so cute. And wishing you success with the new "recruit" plan. It sounds good, will be interesting to see what turns up.

Amy I'm with you on the insurance thing. Someone like your friend would see it in a whole different way.

Im having a rest day. Very busy day yesterday as it turned out.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 317
9/9/14 12:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good for you, BlessedBeing! Recruiters are awesome, because even if they don't place you right away they keep you in mind for other stuff. I sold Insurance for awhile and found it to be a soul sucking pit of despair, but my deaf friend loved it and truly believed she was helping everyone she sold to (she is a cancer/heart attack survivor, so she knew how important it was to have insurance!). My uncle sold it for 30+ years, eventually owned his own agency, and loved it. So, maybe it would be worth investigating!

I have puppy envy. emoticon

 current weight: 203.0 
 
213
196.75
180.5
164.25
148
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/8/14 10:35 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sorry you aren't having good luck with service folks. Hope you can find the kind of small scale business you mention, that might have better customer service skills!

Driving into the apartment complex after work, I saw a couple people (including the office manager) with a little puppy. As soon as I parked I went over, and got to pet the cutest little 10-week old ball of fur. It wasn't until the mist had shifted completely to rain and I was getting wet, that I tore myself away. Dora didn't seem to mind when I got on the floor for our "Welcome home, Mom, come pet me, please" play time.

I finally tried out a Spark exercise video a teammate mentioned on the BBs, a 15-Minute Qi Gong Routine: www.sparkpeople.com/resource/videos-
de
tail.asp?video=30

Has anyone else tried this one? Does it count as ST on our challenge? I also want to give the Tai Chi routine a try.

Oh, I got my resume uploaded onto Monster.com, and I had 4 response in my inbox today--from a recruiter, 2 insurance companies and ATT! I'll check them out, but doubt they are what I'm looking for--though the recruiter is something I haven't dealt with before. I hadn't expected anything this soon! And I will be looking into Linked Up, which I attempted a few years ago, but gave up on when I couldn't figure it out.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 9/8/2014 (23:56)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/8/14 4:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Once again these guys did not show up. They cancelled coming Friday and said they would come today at 10.00 and just never turned up.

Not having much luck. They all want bigger jobs than I have. I just need a retired person
really to help out indoors and outdoors. It is firms that are answering my ads.

Had a good day. Did not get too frazzled, that's always a good thing.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/7/14 11:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I spent some more time on Monster.com, and got a resume uploaded where employers can see it. That feels good, whatever may or may not come from it.

Also put in 90 minutes at the gym on ST, then hit Safeway & Trader Joe's for groceries. Catching up with Spark teams and relaxing tonight.

Had a nice little nap, too! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/6/14 10:31 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Well done, I am the same with technical stuff and also hiring new people to work for me.

I accomplished the hiring last week and feel as relieved as you do. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/6/14 10:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I took on a couple things that I've been needing, but dreading to do, cuz they bring up my tech anxiety. The first was logging onto Monster.com to start building a profile or get a resume out there. Turns out I had an account from 7-8 years before, when I was still working for Waldenbooks/Borders. Then I called up the Geek Squad to work on some computer issues & renew my tech support and anti-virus coverage. It was long and protracted, but I got help resolving some annoying things I didn't know how to deal with. And I've got another year of coverage, which is a relief!
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/6/14 6:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks for the good wishes. I am feeling very positive about it and there are bound to be all sorts of hiccups along the way. Just have to take it one day at a time. So far so good.

Had a great day, only one thing could have perhaps been handled better, but that's fine. I am learning as I go and getting good feedback.

So you were back at work today. Sounds like you enjoyed it. A free lunch box sounds a nice treat.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/6/14 1:07 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That sounds amazing, Wispy! Approaching a new way of relating, with a good understanding of previous patterns you wish to change is powerful and exciting--wishing you great success and joy in this new personal challenge. And you may well progress in fits and starts, occasionally repeating old behaviors. Remember, progress, not perfection is the goal! Best of luck.
emoticon emoticon
Interesting day at work. Spent a fair time on 3 different unusual customer issues that required lots of research and conferring with coworkers and staff from other agencies. Also did some scheduling of sick time (for appointments) and a day off to adjust for my first Saturday seminar back-up this year. I'm looking forward to a day of offering limited assistance as needed for an all-day seminar for outside medical providers. I always get one of the catered box lunches for free, and I can do catch-up work with no interruptions-- emoticon emoticon
[Weird--the last line of text was missing, but when I went to edit to add it back in, it's here in the message box; I just don't see it on the forum page!]

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 9/6/2014 (22:07)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/5/14 11:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hope you feel better soon. Thinking it will be the weekend for you tomorrow, so you can take advantage of the next couple of days to fully recuperate.

I have just started on a new stage of my own recovery - learning to work well with others -
as in being part of a team. A worker among workers, a friend among friends. I have almost always been self-employed which I love, but only just realising that part of this has to do with the fact that it does not involve being part of a team. So either I have been co-depenent in relationships, or I have been alone. I can be assertive and I can be co-dependent.

No wonder none of my intimate relationships with friends or lovers has ever really been an equal partnership. I have dominated or been dominated. After I made the decision I was not going into another relationship in which I was abused or controlling - there have been no new relationships of any kind in my life. I have never learned to "play well in the sandpit", a skill I never learned as a child because it was very solitary time in my life. I did not feel as if I belonged. I learned how to fit in and make no waves - co-dependency began.

I really have no idea how to relate as an equal in relationship where two or more people work together toward a common goal. In conflict in the past I would have seen myself as being right and the others whoever they were as being wrong whether I was the victim or the leader.

As the victim, although I felt abused I did get to feel in right and that the other was wrong.
As the leader, I got to feel strong and powerful. So work filled the assertive role and being a victim in my private life allowed me get my needs met by feeling superior to my abuser.

So strange to be seeing this now. I never saw it before.

I think perhaps I am ready to try and start an equal partnership/friendship with others, no longer have to be the "best" friend, but just A friend among friends.

I am feeling excited at the prospect and really looking forward to it. I can see this is going to be a different experience altogether. It already feels different. Allowing a person close to me to be themselves and discover who they are without 'needing' them to be a certain way to bolster my self esteem.




Edited by: -WISPY- at: 9/5/2014 (23:18)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/5/14 12:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was a bit sniffly at work yesterday, and felt really tired and draggy this morning--like I was on the edge of a cold. I called in sick and took it *very* easy, with morning and afternoon naps, and wrote affirmations to deal with colds and other symptoms. I'm a bit surprised I'm sleepy again, and think I'll be fine to go in to work tomorrow. It was good to practice some self-nurturing and slow down when my body asked for it.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/4/14 7:08 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I too journal daily. Have also been doing neck and back exercises daily for a while. I still need to record those so that I do not forget to do them.

So pleased the handyman cancelled today because the forecast was rain. I am enjoying a quiet day now. It has been a very active week for me.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/3/14 11:31 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's great! It's wonderful to spend time with people you love, and to enjoy the beauty and diversity of our world.

I'm spending a little time journaling and meditating each day, and I've done a little guided tapping (EFT) the last couple of evenings. I think all these actions are part of why I'm doing better, and maintaining a better emotional balance lately. That, and of course the great support I get from my sessions every 2 weeks with Katie.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/3/14 6:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That would make the environment more peaceable for the day Amanda. :)

We had a wonderful day. Went to a wild west coast beach and walked on sand and rocks even. I love the smell of seaweedy rocks. Lunched overlooking a bay further along the coast. We are so blessed where we live.

Wonderful day with so many new memories.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/2/14 11:49 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So glad you enjoy getting together with your son and GD--hope you have very enjoyable visits with them.

I don't know when I'll be able to afford to retire. One reason I want to get organized, and more educated about financial matters--and get a better-paying job!

Work was very busy today, but I was staying more even tempered. Of course the 2 coworkers I've had the most conflict with were both out. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
9/1/14 10:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I've been having my normal kind of life really. Spend quite a bit of time chatting with friends. Being retired is wonderful and I love spending time with people I enjoy. General housework, gardening, shopping. Been beautiful weather. My life is very simple these days and time passes so fast. I also enjoy cooking and have been on a curry phase for some time past.

Youngest GD has just come home from overseas and is taking me out to one of my favourite places tomorrow. She is such a sweetheart and I am so looking forward to seeing her and catching up on the news. She has been away for several months and has been so good about emailing and posting pics. Not that we have favourites of course - but she is kind of the apple of my eye. I love them all, but we have a great relationship that is two way as if we are friends. Love that. Same sort of relationship I have with her Dad, my youngest. James. He will be home in another few weeks. Looking forward to that as well.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/1/14 9:35 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have been feeling frustrated by lack of progress and movement in some life areas. I'm thinking of picking a focus for the month--I've considered financial tracking and tech tutoring; don't know that I want to take on both, though they are fairly different. And then there's the ubiquitous desire to escape the prison/burden of my clutter. Don't want to keep putting them all off, but don't know how to decide where to concentrate, and not sure I can get very far dabbling with all and more besides.

Sigh! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
9/1/14 1:14 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Rats, I had hoped to send out some team goodies, since our August goodie points go away tonight. But I hadn't gotten much done on the current application which is due tomorrow. So I've been working on that tonight, and finished the letter of interest explaining how I match the qualifications and job duties described, plus the one essay ("briefly describe . . .") in their supplemental questions.

I stayed up late last night finishing a Sarah Booth Delaney mystery from the library. I'm reading another today, and put my name on the waiting list for the next 2 in the series.

I got my hair trimmed this morning, then met my sister for lunch, followed by a Costco run. More chores tomorrow, and maybe a gym visit. What have y'all been up to?

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/31/14 7:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

I tend to save regardless and then hopefully no matter what comes up I will have the money I need. The saving itself is what is important to me. I am 75 now and have been disabled since I was in my forties. I have been able to do part time work at times since then, but never been able to return to full time employment. Thankfully over here we do get paid if we are unable to work in this country. It is a minimum disability benefit mind you, but it is possible to live on. We also have a senior citizens pension still going. Saving for retirement seems to be a difficult task for so many people these days because living right now costs so much especially with young children.

I remember when counselling was my number one priority and I spent the money on that grudingly at first. Thankfully I found a good counsellor. I had tried free ones before that with less satisfactory results.

I sure hear you on the housework Amy. emoticon


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/31/14 1:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's an interesting question of what is most important for us to save for or spend on, when we can. I'm dealing with that in several ways right now.

I'm feeling a bit embarrassed at having accomplished so little today. Though I finally got up the courage to call a friend and share something that had bothered me a lot the last time we spoke. It was a hard conversation to have, but an important one, and I felt a good deal better afterward. That kind of wiped me out along with a stressful work week, although it was not all bad. I guess I just really need to rest up and take it easy.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 317
8/30/14 10:42 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My aunt has chronic fatigue syndrome, and it always makes me think I want to save towards housecleaning service someday, as much as college funds or retirement. Because some day this may not be possible for me to do it myself. Also, even more than retirement and college funds, I really, really want someone else to clean my house.I really hate doing housework. If it didn't count as exercise I am not sure I would ever get any of it done.

 current weight: 203.0 
 
213
196.75
180.5
164.25
148
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/29/14 8:13 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Enjoy the long weekend to everyone in the USA. And the weekend for us all.

It's Saturday morning here, a little overcast but mild. Time to get up and get moving. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/29/14 12:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Yesterday we had our first combination Safety and Health Fair. I had helped with some of the health and wellness contacts, and gave a little help that day, though we were short staffed, so I couldn't get away much. It was quite successful, especially for our first time.

In the afternoon, I had a good but quite intense therapy session--lots of tears. I started on a new application tonight that I'll finish this weekend. Felt a bit stronger at work, though I continue to have more to do than I can keep up with at the level I would like.

Still watching The Good Wife Season 6 on DVD. If you followed it this last year, you know what a shocker hit midseason. It's pretty mesmerizing! Really powerful storytelling, something I greatly appreciate.

Wishing you all a wonderful night and weekend--and Labor Day holiday, if you celebrate it!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/27/14 5:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks honey. Hope today works out well at work.


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/27/14 12:14 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I may feel envious, but I'm thrilled you have the help, Wispy!

Had a tough day at work. Tomorrow will be different, but also challenging. Just managed a few cleaning tasks tonight.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/26/14 11:31 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I sure hear you on that one Amanda. I do love getting the help these days. Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I can do so much more now than I was able to do, but looking at it realistically I don't think I could cope with no help at all especially vacuuming and shopping.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/25/14 11:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
How I would love help with housework and organization and cleaning! But everything that gets done in any part of my life must be done by me. Gets kind of tiring sometimes.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/24/14 6:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Today is a busy housework day for me. My regular helper is on holiday, so I have an replacement. She has been before, we get on well. She is a very thorough cleaner.... it will be like spring cleaned when she goes. :o)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/23/14 11:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Had lots of fun with sister Mary today, and also shared some uncomfortable or embarrassing things as well. It's hard, but feels good to be able to do that. We are both wanting to make more progress on our organizational & decluttering goals, and are looking for ways to support each other.

After she left, I used the timer and put in three 5-mintues sessions sorting paper & mail (one of my hardest tasks), and another three on cleaning, straightening & putting things away. Objects are easier for me than paper & information. But that was 30 minutes of progress, and I have some new (or regained) OOs to show for it. An I made sure that the mail that didn't get sorted or dealt with didn't get left on the table to attract other papers or grow piles!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/23/14 5:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Yes, I thought I remembered it. I like Emma Thompson and enjoy her films.

Its been a quiet peaceful Saturday here. The time passes so quikcly I can hardly believe its evening already.

Enjoy your weekend ladies.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/22/14 11:45 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sorry, Saving Mr. Banks is a film that came out last year with Tom Hanks as Walt Disney and Emma Thompson as PL Travers, the author of the Mary Poppins books. She's flown over from London in 1961, as Walt wants the rights to make a movie based on her books. She is a sad, uptight woman who grew up in Australia with an alcoholic father & a mother who couldn't cope. We keep seeing her flashbacks, in which an aunt finally shows up to take charge. I just saw a sweet scene where Mrs. Travers (as she insists on being called) softens and finally enjoys one of their songs. I didn't see the Disney Mary Poppins movie as a kid, but I'm enjoying watching this gradual transformation of someone so haunted by a painful childhood.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/22/14 7:41 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The title rings a bell. Maybe it was made into a movie. I am not an avid reading fan for the most part. Laughter is so refreshing and uplifting, when it is not at the expense of someone else - which seems to be which a lot in new programmes. Maybe its just me. Those old cartoons were full of hurting others. But then I never liked cartoons either. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/22/14 12:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I love cherry blossoms! They make such a picture! Glad the relations are safe, recuperating, and traveling safely.

Finally got Saving Mr. Banks from the library--when I signed up I was 16-hundred-something in line, so it's been many weeks (since April, I think)! I'm only a little ways into it, and it's a bit oddly put together. But I laughed very loud when she chides the music and lyrics guys for making up the word "responstable" to rhyme with 'constable' and tells them to "unmake it"--at which they share a look, then nudge the sheet music to "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (even though you only see a portion of the title) under some other pages.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/21/14 7:21 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good for you Amanda. There are maybe many others out there who are having problems being stuck in a job, or some other place in life and a team like you suggest would fill a need.

I am a great believer in people forming groups around a central theme. It gives focus to what each person is looking for at that particular time.

Got a lovely post card from my youngest gd who is in Cambodia at present on holiday with a friend. it was so lovely to get a handwritten card in the post a bit of a novelty these days. She sends the most amazing pics of their trips on line and I am enjoying it all vicariously. James landed safely in Bangkok and even met a friend at the airport, taking the same flight. He is such a good son. I am always happy to know when his feet are on terra firma again. Dil is still very slow recovering from the virus. It affected her liver. They do not know what the virus was. She is feeling better and back at school, but tiring very easily still.
Kim and I had a great day out yesterday. Saw the first Japanese cherry in full pink bloom. What a picture. Spring is really on the way.

Another sunny, mild day here. think i will get a bit of gardening in later on if i can.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/21/14 12:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
As I said in my status, after yesterday's crisis and sick day, this morning's meditation on Living with Contentment was so helpful in reminding me that I can remain calm and find simple joys, and remember I am OK whatever's going on and wherever I am. I had more energy at work and home, and finished a new job application, which I just submitted.

I'm even toying with the idea of starting a new Spark team called The Freedom Project, for anyone like me who's feeling stuck in part of their life and wants to focus on breaking big problems into small steps and taking positive action, then reporting in on that one thing with others who are also struggling.

I just feel the need to do something different to get out of this stuck place.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/19/14 11:52 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks for letting me know about the blog--I'll check it out. And I just blogged today for the first time in several months!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/18/14 11:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great minds must think alike Amanda. The other day a friend sent me a list of 10 ways of loving yourself.

I posted one in a team of mine which really helped someone and she wanted the rest, so I have decided to blog all 10 of them. Dont know the author, but they are so good.

Self-criticism has been one of my worst faults and I am now practicing these as often as I can. Did not realise how often I tell my self off and never think of praising myself for anything I do.

Feeling good as a result of applying these things.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/18/14 10:22 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Today was blessedly pleasant and positive at work--no ugliness. No I just have to decide whether to go for a job that closes in a couple days--I'm still waffling. Oh, and having added a new exercise to my gym workout yesterday, I'm sore in new spots! But in a good way, and the back pain eased off quite a bit.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/17/14 11:56 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My sister drew my attention to an article on Spark today dealing with self-esteem:
www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
st
=9_bodypositive_quotes_to_boost_yourR>_selfesteem


My favorite quotes are the ones dealing with self-love and positive self-talk. I think I will add the "posters" to the team photos.

Talking with my childhood friend yesterday, it was wonderful to connect & talk about so many things. She told me about a self-help center in Honolulu she read about, Happiness U: www.yourhappinessu.com/index.html

I emailed them to see if they are located on the mainland as well, but they aren't. Their classes sound great, but they only have 2 available online right now. One is Life Purpose, I think, which I might take. The cost is only $20.00, and supposed takes 60-70 minutes, though I don't really know how it works yet. I'll find out more and report back if I try it.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/17/14 7:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Now here is a strange thing I have noticed. Not sure if it is age, or really what has caused it, but...

All my life I have been on and off one diet or another to lose weight. I actually have spent quite a lot of my life thin - BUT I always felt fat. I was a size 10, which over here is the size everyone wanted to be. It is considered slim, I even look at photos of myself then, and I was thin.
One time my son even asked me if I was anorexic!!! But I always looked fat to me. I hated looking in mirrors. When I look at myself in the mirror now I do not think I look fat, and yet I am much higher than I was even when I was 60. I see me, a person. It is the strangest thing. I am fat by all weight measurements for my age, but the doc is happy with me. I am well within my range for my age for bp, cholestrol and my diabetes numbers are good.
I think perhaps emotions play a part in how we feel about ourselves too and maybe it is just my age that has changed the outlook on my body.

A while ago I read an article about self-talk. It is nothing new really, but for the first time in my life I really began to practice it and that is loving self-talk. In many ways I have become a very positive person, but praising myself for every little thing I did had not entered my mind.
It seemed like prideful to me. Messages from my past about being worthless and unloveable had stopped me.

This time I started doing it. Every little thing I do in a day that is moving towards my goals, even getting up straight away when I wake up I praise myself for. It sure does change my mood. I used to criticise myself a lot - not really consciously perhaps. I have re-parented my inner child and I love her, but after that it kind of stopped. She knows she is fine and loved just as she is, but somehow the rest of me I still criticised without realising it. I am always wanting to be better than I am. It had seemed a good thing to do.

Since reading this article I have realised it is self-defeating. Guess I am a slow learner.
So now I am finding I can make myself feel happier by praising myself and telling myself how well I am doing in the things that are important to me.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/16/14 10:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Amy, I realize I ran over to your page to send you a goodie, but didn't reply here. It's OK to feel fat. Sometimes getting real and realizing "I don't like feeling this way, and I want to and deserve to feel better" is an important step in getting more serious about making lasting changes or finding an approach that works for you. What I am concerned about is when anyone goes to a place of feeling worthless or unlovable because of their weight. The way I see it, God/Goddess loves us no matter our shape or size, and it's up to us to love ourselves enough to make those small and gradual changes that can lead to stronger and healthier bodies, minds, spirits and lives.

As far as feeling blue, I've been struggling with that quite a bit with all the work drama and toxicity, as well as other areas of my life. But I'm reminded of a Living Love song, back from my days in a particular self-help movement, called "Everyone's Been Blue." It goes something like "It's OK to be unhappy, honey, everyone's been blue/ And blue's a pretty color, baby, when it's worn by you/ It's OK to lose your way, my love, we've all been lonely, too/ It's OK to be the way you are, no matter what you do./ That's the chorus and the first verse goes "We thought when we were children, we could always make a deal/ At a game called pleasing others, learn which feelings to conceal./ Sure would like to see you happy, but your sorrow's just as real/ And you can learn to love yourself, no matter what you feel."

It helps me to remember that when I'm sad or down or upset, it's OK--I don't have to be any other way. I sure don't need to make myself wrong, or pretend to feel something I don't. And often when I examine what I'm feeling and thinking, or as I've come to do with Katie, to open to the physical and emotional sensations and get a sense of a part with concerns or who needs tending, I often gain valuable insights or gifts by opening to the pain instead of running from it. Don't know if any of that makes sense or is helpful, but wanted to share it.

I had a nice long talk with a girlfriend in Hawaii. When she asked how I was, I started crying, shared job stuff, and the loneliness, how hard it is to do and pay for everything, while looking for a different job. She had some great ideas and suggestions, and just gave me so much encouragement and love--it was a real blessing. Then I went by a local venue where a Hawaiian festival was going on, and saw the hula school that a coworker is part of perform. I'm taking it easy this evening, will probably finish the second Sarah Booth Delaney mystery in the series. Such fun!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/16/14 6:49 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Oh girls, yes we are all progressing at our own pace. Progress not perfection. Loving it.

I heard one time, and it has always stuck with me. A table that has four legs. You have to work away at sawing off the legs to make it topple over. There seems to be no progress as you painstakingly saw through each of the legs, it makes particular sense to me perhaps because of the three main challenges I have faced. Even sawing off one whole leg does not make the table topple and you have to saw away at all three, not really even noticing any big changes at all. Then all of a sudden one day the table (our old baggage) finally collapses into a heap.

I love that story. I am sawing off the legs - one day I will be free.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 8/16/2014 (18:51)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 317
8/16/14 1:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
To be honest, I feel fat. And I am feeling blue.

 current weight: 203.0 
 
213
196.75
180.5
164.25
148
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/16/14 12:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Lost the battle against negativity at work for a while this morning. I was disappointed and "fessed up" to my closest friend there after the work day, but she was ever supportive, telling me I'm doing fine and getting stronger. She also claims I've changed and grown--or as she says "blossomed" in the years she's known me. I don't see it myself, but it is *so* nice to hear, particularly given the frequent snarky comments and criticisms that are never addressed directly, but said loud enough to carry around the work area.

Anyway, I finally realized that a phrase I have long heard and used in terms of diet and fitness, even organizing, applies to inner work and building emotional strength as well: Progress, not perfection. So that may become a new mantra for me, especially at work. I don't need to remain perfectly calm or unaffected by immature, unprofessional or down-right rude behavior, I don't need to stand up for myself perfectly, or process or respond perfectly to events. It's important to keep aware, focus on my well-being the best I can, and forgive myself when I don't respond "perfectly." I'm getting stronger, I'm making progress--and that's enough.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/14/14 12:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Things sound better at work today, I am so pleased for you. It must be awful having to spend so much time in a place that is unfriendly or difficult to work in.

Only remember one case of this - may have mentioned it - cant remember, where I was made fun of and kind of bullied I guess, because I did not fit in with the team in any way.

I can remember thinking at the time I wished I was retirement age so I did not have to work there. Another job I disliked was working in a bank, but there was nothing wrong with the people, it was just soooooooooo boring and we always had to look busy. In these days of computers I could have played games as much as I wanted... emoticon

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/13/14 11:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks, Wispy! We'll see what effect today's staff meeting has on behavior in the office. But it was nice to have the supervisor lay down some guidelines to everyone on a few matters; we've definitely needed it!

Had another good, intense session with my sweet therapist Katie. I am just so blessed to have found her! Worked with a very sad and needy part feeling bad about having so little loving touch growing up, and having basically none in my life now. She was shy, and worried about being seen as weak. But I embraced her & honored her feelings which were echoed by a number of parts who formed a loving circle of support around us as I "held" her. Katie gave me a soft pillow to hug at one point, which worked well.

This process of communicating with and nurturing different aspects of myself, and opening to more parts of me, more experiences, wisdom and gifts, has been and continues to be an amazing process. And if anyone is intrigued, she does phone counseling also! I think she said she just revamped her website. Let me see if I can add a link here:
katiegurwell.com/
Ooh, I just checked out the new site, and really like it--and she offers a complimentary 20-minute phone session! Highly recommended!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/13/14 5:14 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So sorry you are having to go through that Amanda, people that behave like my mother are my biggest triggers as well. In my case out of all proportion to the current situation. I belong to a group where we share all this sort of stuff and get support and feedback from one another.
Have to tell you it is something that helps when just writing is not enough.
These kind of things that trigger my guilt and shame (for things that are not my fault) are my main trigger. I am working on them as well.

Good to know we are not alone. :) Hugs

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/13/14 12:28 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Ow! Sorry to hear about the toe; I hope you'll get it checked to make sure all is well, and that you take the bet healing path for it. emoticon

The temps came down, as did some occasional showers. emoticon Had a bit of thunder and lightning last night too. emoticon I'm thrilled with the cooler weather.

I was pleased to hear my supervisor is planning to address a number of issues tomorrow in a staff meeting--she wanted to wait until the manager could attend. I spent a difficult night last night. Did some vigorous tapping, expressing a lot of anger and resentment, complete with profanity, woke up at 3-something, finally got up and did some journaling, then overslept. Having issues at work, especially involving one young coworker who has been singling me out for rude and demeaning treatment. I've had it with having my boundaries violated and her attempts to shame me--under the guise of asking for help at the counter.

I need the supervisor to step up and step in and set clear boundaries and expectations. If that doesn't happen, I'll need to protect myself however I need to--up to filing a grievance. This has also brought up stuff around my mom never standing up for me, just allowing my dad to continue abusing me without doing anything to stop it. Given that I already hate a number of elements about my job situation, this has just added to the unhappiness. I'm actually feeling pretty good that I'm doing as well as I am in dealing, and making progress on a few fronts in my own babystepping way.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 8/13/2014 (00:50)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/12/14 4:51 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
90 is hot all right. Hope you have air con at work and the new fan is helping at home.

It's still early here. Ive had my first cuppa, feeling good and thinking if the rain keeps off I might go out and do some more weeding.

Hurt my little toe yesterday quite badly - a freak accident when Kim and I somehow both hurt each other's little toe. Sounds almost impossible, we made light of it at the time, but I sure hope her's is not as bad as mine. It is painful and bruising up my foot. Guess it might be broken, but don't think they do anything with broken toes. they just heal on their own.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/12/14 1:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sounds lovely. I'm dealing with a not-so-nice day at work, plus temps solidly in the 90s emoticon , hoping they are right and things will start cooling down a bit--with rain later this week! emoticon

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 8/12/2014 (01:03)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/11/14 8:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sounds wonderful, and what a joyful thing to do on your time off. :0)

I had a successful day with getting the house clean, laundry done and 2 pots of chicken soup on for dinner. Well one to freeze. :o)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/10/14 11:15 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I had another outing day. I'm not sure I wrote that much about the first one--I did a 2 mile (1 out, and 1 back) walk along Des Moines Creek trail a couple or 3 weeks ago. Today I went out to Coulan Beach Park in Renton. I walked along the path, and checked out the interpretive signs, mainly on the flora. It's on the shore of Lake Washington, a large urban lake bordered by Seattle and Renton. I didn't come prepared to swim--but I will next time. There's a small swimming area, with half roped off for strong swimmers, where I can do some real swimming, not just splashing in the kids' area. It was a lovely day, and I sunscreened up, so I've got color, but no burning--yay!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/10/14 7:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good golly that is H O T.

Way to go on keeping the space clear. I think you must have had a lot of boxes from moving and that always takes a long time to deal with. I was thinking the other day if I leave here, I would like to just walk away and leave everything behind. It would be so simple.
But then I guess I would miss my things. I do have a lot of sentimental things about the place from over the years and would no doubt feel strange without them.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/10/14 1:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was traveling in California one summer with a Swiss man, who saw a temperature sign that said 44C (108F, I think), and he said he hadn't thought it was possible to get that hot!

emoticon I've kept the dining area clean since I had to clear it for the ceiling fan installation. In fact today, I replaced the table where it had been, moved the trash & some plastic shelves out of the corner, vacuumed & wiped down walls before returning things. I'm loving the clean spaces, & thinking on what to do & put where, while I continue to sort & toss stuff that has been stacked and boxed there for way too long!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/9/14 7:35 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That reminds me of when I used to live in the UK and in those days when it was really hot, they spoke of 90 in the shade.

Over here 30 is getting hot and 40 the candles melt. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/9/14 12:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Actually temps have been mild the last few days--under 80! Though forecast is for mid-90s soon, though it's only hit 90 once so far, I think, even though they've predicted temps that high numerous times. I just keep praying for cool, and to stay cool, and so far that's helping!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/8/14 5:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A very good day for you on all counts. I am so pleased you stood up for yourself and the comment was removed.
Ceiling fan must be bliss in the heat.

Sunny mild day here. I am off out to do some more weeding. :o)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/8/14 12:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Wow, he is the globe trotter! Hope he enjoys all the travel!

Speaking up helped--the offending comment was rightly removed. I met my sister for dinner, and we did some catching up. I got home to find the new ceiling fan installed! I turned off the light, and let it just swirl away at the lowest setting--very peaceful! Going to bed soon, will catch up this weekend!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,909
8/7/14 8:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
He's going to London, Denmark, Finland and Asia. He travels a lot, so nothing new. I like to make the most of my time with him when he's in New Zealand.

As long as you get to comment on what was said I hope that will cover the issue. It is upsetting when you took so much time to ask clear questions at the beginning.
Hope you get to say what you need to.

Have a good weekend ladies.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
180
170
160
150
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (89,333)
Fitness Minutes: (75,701)
Posts: 7,933
8/7/14 12:40 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Where overseas is he going? emoticon emoticon

As I mentioned in my status, I got my evaluation, which was all good with a single exception--a comment about 'needing to improve prioritizing' related to my new job and getting everything done. Since I had specifically told the new supervisor I wanted no surprises on the eval, and since I've asked for feedback and received only positive and supportive comments in the 3 months since I basically took on a second job, I thought it inappropriate to write I needed improvement in an area that had never been discussed. Except that I *did* ask before I accepted the promotion how the tasks performed by the 2 of us who promoted would be carried out while we learned and took on new duties--and was given a vague "we'll work it out" response. I was told it wasn't meant to be critical, but I don't know how else to take "needs improvement" than to hear my performance is unsatisfactory in this regard. I was adamant that the comment was not a fair one, and I believe it will be edited--along with the grammatical error I found. It was a sad commentary on our unit to see three different supervisor signatures covering a single year's time.

And though I wasn't happy, I spoke up at an appropriate time asking if we could discuss it then. I didn't get too (just a little) emotional, and I pretty well let it go, to see how management will respond. That will determine what employee comments I add.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
215
197.5
180
162.5
145
Page: 1 of (74)   1 2 Next Page › Last Page »

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Survivors of Abuse General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics: Last Post:
Oprah/Chopra meditation starts 4-14-14 4/13/2014 8:54:15 PM
What are you grateful for? 9/23/2014 12:08:56 AM
Reasons for abuse 2/8/2014 5:04:16 PM
Vacation in Queenstown - South Island, New Zealand 6/28/2013 7:53:31 PM
Vent, about lack of support 10/1/2013 8:08:29 PM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x2525x27584541

Review our Community Guidelines