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11/26/14 12:44 A

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Interesting. I went in kind of a different direction lately in communicating at length about what I found so upsetting during my mammogram. The reason it felt very empowering to me is that I was "telling" my truth. So often victims are warned/cautioned/threatened "not to tell." So just saying "this happened, I didn't like it, it hurt me, and I don't want it to happen again" felt right for me. Especially knowing a lot of women may not be able to articulate why they hate a procedure--and they may simply never return to get the care and diagnostics they need. But the medical establishment needs to learn that they have to treat us right if they want us to work with them--otherwise we'll stay away.

Whatever makes us feel stronger or more whole is good, in my book!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/25/14 5:54 P

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Happy to say the stressful situations have not changed but I have changed my attitude.

Changing my attitudes is something I work on all the time - more so when I am under pressure because it is the only thing that seems to bring peace and freedom from suffering.
I am beginning to wonder what really is the point of striving for our rights? Or fighting for anything. I know this sounds rather controversial and I am not suggesting that it is what everyone should do. Just become doormats. I know that's how it sounds. But something else is kind of stirring away within me somewhere.

I always have a choice how to respond to any situation. I come back to Nelson Mandela so many times and the principle of love thine enemy.

Just thoughts I am having this morning. :)


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/24/14 11:47 P

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Hope you had a nice nap, Wispy, and will be getting back into balanced energy with sleep, and water else is going on for you. Working with a pretty small crew at work. Don't know when I'll hear anything on the job position I applied for. I did remind the manager I'll be on vacation the week after Thanksgiving. I also reminded the supervisor of that, since one of the things I'm responsible for was backed up by the person who just transferred out. Not sure if they'll get anyone to cover the work while I'm gone, or if I'll return to it all waiting for me.

Better cross-training, where more people know how to do more tasks, is one of the goals I spoke to in my ideas for the unit that I presented at my interview. We can do much better than we have in the past, but it has to be a priority, and the training has to be pretty consistent, since there's so much turn over.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/24/14 11:46 P

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Hope you had a nice nap, Wispy, and will be getting back into balanced energy with sleep, and water else is going on for you. Working with a pretty small crew at work. Don't know when I'll hear anything on the job position I applied for. I did remind the manager I'll be on vacation the week after Thanksgiving. I also reminded the supervisor of that, since one of the things I'm responsible for was backed up by the person who just transferred out. Not sure if they'll get anyone to cover the work while I'm gone, or if I'll return to it all waiting for me.

Better cross-training, where more people know how to do more tasks, is one of the goals I spoke to in my ideas for the unit that I presented at my interview. We can do much better than we have in the past, but it has to be a priority, and the training has to be pretty consistent, since there's so much turn over.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/24/14 12:41 P

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Yes, stress sure is a biggie. I have just had a sleepless night due to it.
I knew there was nothing I could do about either of the two things that cropped up last night, but just had to accept them. However I was awake until I could finish the sorting out this morning. Hence I am on early.
Fortunately I can nap later on today. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/23/14 9:07 P

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emoticon and emoticon from me as well!

I totally relate to the stress--I've been struggling with a fair amount myself. I like having a safe place here to talk about it. This thread is where you'll see the most posting, but we've had some helpful suggestions for dealing with stress and other issues on some of the other forums. I hope you'll check some of them out as you have time and interest.

Wishing you progress, success and joy on your journey. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/23/14 5:47 P

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Hello there, a warm welcome to the team.

If you would like to talk about it some more and it is very painful there is a thread to "share the hard stuff". Some of us are still in bad relationships and others have abuse of different kinds in their past.

We all live with the after effects of the abuse in different ways.

We are here to listen, help and encourage one another with whatever comes up.

Hugs Wispy. emoticon

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 11/23/2014 (17:51)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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OTHERSIDEOFK's Photo OTHERSIDEOFK SparkPoints: (759)
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11/23/14 5:40 P

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Had a really stressful few days. I think I'll be okay though.

~Ku Ku Bananas ~
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11/23/14 4:55 P

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Having a very pleasant few days walking and weeding around the garden. Everywhere is so lovely, getting the walking in and also the bending and stretching. Legs feelings good. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/22/14 10:16 P

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I should be getting them every year, but as I mentioned, I really don't want to risk my emotional health by putting myself in another unsafe situation, without plenty of discussion and assurances beforehand.

I just sent all 6 pages of this new letter, plus a letter I sent a different unit after my first traumatic experience during a mammogram almost 3 years ago. In addition to the details of all the wrong things that happened, I gave some great suggestions for different ways to screen patients, interact with them, and train staff. Looking forward to hearing back from the Breast Imaging unit manager with her responses.

On a lighter note, Mary and I went to a jewelry party with our friend who sells Premier Designs, and both took advantage of a cool sale. The drive down for me in the rain had been tense, so I took the longer but more leisurely surface road route back home. Just enjoyed re-watching a favorite romantic comedy "Just Like Heaven." Going to heat up some soup for dinner.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my lovely teammates!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/22/14 5:12 P

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I'm pleased it is now written and the worst is over for now. How often do you have them?
It makes me feel better getting everything written out as well. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/22/14 12:38 A

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I'm emotionally drained. I just typed a page of my mammogram history--good, bad, good, & yesterday's bad; then three pages outlining what happed yesterday, and why it was so upsetting. The unit manager called me back to apologize for the plans for an extended (slower-paced) appointment being ignored by the tech, and for my overall bad experience. She gave me her email address and said she looks forward to getting my detailed feedback. She's getting it in spades.

It was yucky to go through it again (I'm left feeling a bit nauseous), but I wanted to be as detailed in terms of what I experienced physically and emotionally as I could. Now I want to start letting it go and cleansing myself from the stain, and the new trauma. I'll add my ideas on needed training and research before sending it to her. I wouldn't imagine she'd read it before Monday anyway. Just glad to have the ugliness over again, and to have had the strength and courage "to tell."

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/20/14 4:47 P

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Way to go for you. Cheering you on.

I had a lovely day out with Kim. Got new plants for the garden. Thats always delights my heart. I can hardly get the smile off my face. Gardeners coming on Tuesday - hopefully - and they can do the heavy stuff . Everywhere is looking and smelling so wonderful. Sweet pea are now beginning to blossom and climb up over the deck.
I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy such simple things. I love being retired. :)!!

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/20/14 12:02 A

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No, I don't know. I hope they will decide soon, as some real planning needs to take place to prepare for the current supervisor retiring. She is our most experienced customer service person, and stepped in as a temporary supervisor when the last one was let go. She still handles plenty of customers herself, and we are always asking her questions about how to do things--and in a month, she'll be retired, and we'll be minus a major information resource!

In fact she was in an all-day meeting today, and our 2 next most experienced CSSs were gone (vacation & training, though the latter is transferring out after Friday), and we found ourselves floundering repeatedly, because we just didn't know the answers to things.

I followed through on my intention to put in some planning time after work and before dinner, and it felt good! Also got a little cleaning done, which is always a relief & cause for celebration. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/19/14 1:58 P

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Woke early today and got my lists of dailies accomplished. Felt great on waking, but did not want to do them. Just got up and got on with it. As soon as I started I felt much better. I know it is helpful behaviour for me and I am pleased to be committing to it.
One day at a time. :)

Any idea how long till they let you know Amanda? The waiting is always challenging.
Good for you on not setting your heart on any specific outcome. Not an easy thing to do when it is something you really want.

Blessings Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/18/14 11:47 P

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Glad you are feeling productive and seeing your progress, Wispy--that's a great feeling for sure!

I'm tired, but satisfied. I prepared thoughtfully, did well--I think, got my thank you notes finished to deliver tomorrow. And now will just go on and see what they decide in time. I'm doing my best to maintain detachment. I'd like to be offered the position, but don't want to obsess or depend on one particular outcome. I have a lot of catching up on chores to do at home, but wasn't quite up to it tonight. I'll try to get a little accomplished before bed, then more tomorrow!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/18/14 3:34 P

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Good golly it has been a busy couple of days, didnt realise it was so long since I had been in here.

That all sounds good with the interview preparation - you have certainly done all you can. Sending good thoughts. I know the right thing will follow no matter what the outcome. Your sister is one in a million. It must be so good to have that kind of relationship with someone. The son I spend most time with would be a similar soul to your sister. :) He is very kind to me.

What a bummer about the car - but alls well that ends well.

Sun is shining here today and I am feeling good. Have done all my morning dailies. I love that I have set me this plan to ensure I do stuff. It so helps me reporting for accountability on a daily basis.

I have now joined a thread where others are also wanting to do the same, so I have got all my eggs in one basket (so to speak). Think this is a good thing. Now I can see daily how much I am accomplishing in different areas of my life.

Love to you girls.

Hugs Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/18/14 12:26 A

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I was *not* happy when I got to the dealers just a few minutes late for my oil change appt (had to scrape frost off back window)--to find they had moved! The promised map wasn't on their sign, and the phone number didn't work! I got the service number off my coupon, had to try several times before getting through to a message machine, said I was trying to find them and would be late--and managed to get there with only a general idea of the new location from the sign at the old place. Turns out it was the first day in the new location--I made the point I should have been informed when I made the appt just last week! But it cost me less than $25 with tax, and I got a coupon for a free car wash.
emoticon
I spent much of the day finishing & printing my materials for the interview tomorrow morning. I feel prepared, and think I would be a very good choice for them to provide continuity, minimal disruption, and positive leadership. It would also mean a raise, which would be very welcome, and more power to influence decisions in a positive way. I'm really hoping I get the offer, and am gladly soliciting prayers, good thoughts and positive energy my way tomorrow, and in the days to come, as they make their decision.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/17/14 12:11 A

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I panicked a bit this morning, because I hadn't gotten a lot done on my proposal for my interview. I asked my sister about the possibility of changing our plans to go to the play next week. She was willing to alter our plans, and then once I got working, I got a lot done this morning, and realized I could use a break after all, so I called her back, and she was good with going back to the original plan. The drive down to Tacoma was lovely, we enjoyed a nice lunch at our traditional Panera before the show, and saw a lovely adaptation of Little Women. Jo in particular was very good. I laughed and cried and enjoyed myself greatly.

Taking tomorrow off, getting the oil changed in my car, getting groceries and doing the final prep for my interview on Tuesday.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 11/18/2014 (00:16)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/15/14 11:28 P

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It was a good day. I got through a pile of more recent papers that just kept getting put aside. I kept a running update document for my supervisor on what I was doing, what I was finding, things that need to be done or decided--I highlighted those in yellow so they'll stand out. I ended up with 3 pages (of a nice big 14 font; nothing tiny!). I like to "prove" that I'm being productive on these days I'm there on my own.

Once I got through all that, I started on some older stuff, much of which could be tossed, or organized by year to be filed with documents to retain. I finally had to stop sorting the papers, and just cleaned space, and took care of a few small housekeeping tasks that hadn't been done on Friday. I really do want to try to deal with one to 5 papers each day from the box under my desk, and eventually get through it all!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/15/14 4:20 P

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I'm happy to say at 75 I still feel young and enjoy life to the fullest of which I am capable physically and emotionally.
I love my life and in all honesty am happier than I have ever been. I love retirement.

Doing well with my dailies

Day 3 or 4.

Washing, dishes, kitchen, exercises all done and I am raring to go.
So pleased that the last week of rest has got me back to feeling energetic.

Gardened yesterday and again this morning. One of the major passions in my life. :)

Enjoy the weekend ladies.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/15/14 12:44 A

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I think very little about my age. I'm with Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra who recommend not buying in to society's attitudes about aging. I feel very youthful in some ways, while wiser than I used to be. I keep affirming I'm young--despite the fact I'll turn 60 next March! I don't intend to act old.

I was still cold on my walks outside during breaks, even with gloves and scarf until I started wearing a hat also--especially a knit one that covered my ears! I'm thinking about earmuffs or a style of hat with earflaps--they may look funny, but super-cold ears are no fun!

Tomorrow is my last Saturday seminar to back up this year. I hope to get through filing and old paper piles.

I didn't get the lateral temp CSS job--that went to another CSS in our unit. So we are losing another of our experienced people, and one of our best teachers. With people taking vacations--myself included--we'll be hurting trying to keep up the work load with too few people. Just think, if I get the Office Manager position--staffing will become even more my problem to deal with! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/14/14 10:31 P

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Amanda, how funny it seems to me that you worked for Borders. I worked for Barnes & Noble for a gazillion years because I loved books. There was a Borders right across the street. Thier manager and I used to keep a semi-friendly competition going.

Thanks for the info on kids meditation. I can't say my kids will actually do it, but I am hoping that at least I can give them some good exposure to it, to benefit them in the future.

As for me, the last few days I have been just exhausted. I blame my birthday. I loaded up on a slice of cake and I think the sugar really disrupted my system. I've worked really hard to make healthier choices since, but by the time I get home from work I am just done.

I'm not sure how I feel about my age. I am 45. Mid-life. Menopausal. Wiser, but less agile. More interesting, but less willing to spend time talking to people who do not interest me. Less willing to suffer fools, but also less willing to go out and do something just for the heck of it. Set in my ways. I think I probably seem boring to some of my younger colleagues, who don't have enough sense to get to know me, but then all the kids want to play with me, so I guess I do not seem so boring to everyone.


What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/14/14 8:05 P

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Wishing you all the very best Amanda. It certainly all sounds very positive. emoticon

Day 2 washing, dishes, tidied kitchen first thing along with exercises.

Feeling good and positive. I love the feeling when these things are done.
No idea why it is such a hassle to do them. Inner child seems pleased with the idea. :)

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 11/15/2014 (00:33)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/13/14 11:07 P

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I often wash dishes in the morning while I brew my cup of coffee. emoticon

I'm feeling positive and empowered. I've begun typing up my ideas for office manager--the position I'm interviewing for next Tuesday. The document I began tonight will address Individual Well-Being and Development (how I will work with staff one-on-one), Unit Well-Being and Development (working with the team), Regional Program Well-Being and Development (coordinating with our counterparts in the other 2 offices--whose current office managers will be retiring over the next year), and Office-wide Well-Being and Development (developing a greater sense of community and positive culture). I think it will show dedication & creativity on my part, and impress the panel. And I'm so pleased I heard back from my friend and former assistant manager who said she'll be happy to act as a reference. Since the Borders organization went bankrupt, I had no way of reaching my old district managers. Susanne assured me she would say "glowing" things about me, and tell them what a good manager I was. I think I may have a good chance of getting it.

And I will welcome any and all good wishes and prayers on my behalf! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/13/14 2:39 P

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Well I think its time. I am loathe to post this really, but I do think its time to add some new things to my discipline list.

Will post them here daily I think to try and keep me on track.

Day 1 Wash dishes tidy kitchen first thing in morning EVERY DAY

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/12/14 11:23 P

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I think it's good to find what bothers you and what doesn't. I find if I can get a little done on chores at a time, they tend not to get so out of control. But sometimes I get busy with other things, and then the mess or disorganization can really get to me. I'm always searching for little reminders or routines to help me take those regular babysteps toward the habits I do want to cultivate for my own benefit and peace of mind.

It's really cold and windy the last couple days. I pulled some stuff away from the wall in the bedroom, and lo and behold, the baseboard heater was actually on and putting out a tiny bit of heat. With nighttime temps below freezing, that will be welcome! Now I just need to do the same in living and dining areas--though harder with furniture! Had some nice warm soup for dinner, not much energy since eating. May go to bed a little early tonight. Oh, I began to jot down some of the Office Manager ideas I want to share at my interview next week. I'm feeling hopeful.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/12/14 4:34 P

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Oh yes, Eva, I thought her little Bug did that, but wasnt sure. We are on another team together, I really enjoy her posts. :)

Sounds good for you Amanada. I am feeling so much better today thank goodness. I have some energy back and enthusiasm. I really drained myself out. But am delighted I have so many happy memories.
Today I was up and doing including my daily must dos. I am glad I started that a few months back, I am such an undisciplined person and am happy to say that I have been doing well with the discipline in spite of the way I am feeling - well that is in the things I committed to do. The rest not so much. I did not even wash the dishes for 5 days. Just could not be bothered or find whatever it is that I need. Living alone, it doesnt matter to anyone but me and I just shut the door. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/11/14 11:59 P

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That name sounds familiar, though I can't remember where I heard it. There really is some great stuff on YouTube for meditating, tapping, etc.

Glad you and the girls are doing well, Amy. Oh, I got some info from my co-leader on the GGs; let me go copy that to paste for you here:

Kids meditation is part of the yoga series that Bug likes [her daughter] but I've also used this
children.meditation.org.au/ Kids do better with guided meditations and music. Start with about 5 minutes and go up from there if you do it with music. Don't go much past double the kids age. so 10 year olds are usually able to focus, after practicing for a while, for no more than 20 minutes. If the kid is under 5, use 1 minute for every year they are old. (Hope the link works)

I went to the gym again; went on Sunday for the first time in a couple months. I enjoy working with the machines and weights for all over strength training--I just don't get around to it regularly. But I like the feeling of getting stronger, and would like to develop a better discipline. Then went back to Trader Joe's for a few items I forgot a couple days ago--like cream for coffee!!
emoticon
I've been prepping veggies for snacks and salads and soups, doing a little more cleaning, got a card written to a Spark Friend who moved and hasn't been active lately. Looking forward to a short week at work!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/11/14 3:57 P

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Woo hoo to both of you for accomplishing your goals.

I have been working with neck and back exercises on a daily basis for the last two or three months as well as meditation and am delighted to day that much to my surprise I am actually keeping to the daily schedule. I am a very unselfdisciplined (if there is such a word) person.

I am now at week 8 which is the final week of the course and have discovered we are now kind of out on our own... I was surprised, dont know why, it is the end of the course. Somehow I thought there would be an ongoing programme, a bit like school. Good golly sometimes I forget I am an adult and supposedly can work along.
I have decided to go with one woman, her name is Tara Brach, who I have particularly identified with during the course and she, as it turned out, has a lot of stuff on You Tube and is someone I really identify with, so I will kind of study, as it were with her.

She only teaches from her own experience and life which is something that really resonates with me.

Have a good day girls.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/11/14 1:19 A

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I have to say, timing things really helped my girls get through most of their chores (except one where they teamed up and ended up playing, but it was so nice hearing them not fighting that I let it go). Thanks, Amanda, for that idea.

Through social media I have been learning a lot about abuse and being a survivor. It has really helped me to understand why I didn't leave earlier, and why I almost got sucked back into it. It also helped me to understand why meditation, which used to come very easily to me, had become so much more difficult. As soon as I began to understand, it got easier again. emoticon

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/11/14 12:22 A

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I've been wanting to spend some time planning & scheduling next steps in a number of areas. Saturday during my SBSBS (Side-By-Side-Box Sorting) with sister, I cleared off the dining table to work at. But Sunday, I never got around to it. I sensed some part of me was resisting, so I opened an inner circle up this morning, and sure enough, I found a part who was running so much fear around making mistakes and wrong choices--going back to old & very dark stuff. So we spent time soothing, assuring and supporting that part, and sure enough, I was able to spend several timed sessions getting started with calendars, appointments, new & revised project binders, as well as doing laundry & some vacuuming.

Very productive day which feels really good! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/10/14 8:15 P

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Yes, I have come across some meditation for kids, or perhaps awareness might be a better term. Very easy graphics that bring home the point so well.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/9/14 9:49 P

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Oh, I love sweet peas, Wispy!

Amy, I've heard of yoga for kids, but not meditation--though I imagine someone has developed something.

I went to the gym for the first time in a couple months, worked with the weight machines. Went to Costco for gas Y a few groceries, the dollar store for shower caps, but picked up a couple more items, & later ran by Trader Joe's--pretty empty since the Seahawks game was on TV then. Feeling kind of flat today--don't know why.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/9/14 5:40 P

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Sounds a good plan. Things always seem more enjoyable when we can do them with a companion. One reason I love the gardeners being here.
You and your sister are blessings to one another. :)

Yes there are some good meditations out there for kids. And getting into the habit when you are young would make it so much easier later on I'm thinking.
I've been gardening today, well mostly admiring and just wandering. The sweet pea are doing so well and the dianthus are a carpet of colour. Cant believe how much they have grown and so many lovely colours. I planted out dozens of them in the winter.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/9/14 12:05 P

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Amanda, that sounds like a great way to get your sorting done. I think I'm going to use the timer on my girls to help get chores done. Well, on me too. There is a lot of work to get done. Originally I had planned to do it Saturday, but I put my daughters down to nap (they both have colds) and was reading them a story and, well, I woke up 5 hours later. (They never slept. They got up and got the house even dirtier.)

Thank you for the link, Wispy. I'm going to give it a try tonight. I'm also going to look into meditation for my kids, because I've read it can help boost immune systems. Or maybe it will just get them to nap. Either way, I'm happy!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/8/14 10:02 P

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My sister Mary did make significant progress--finishing the box and a halft she had brought up with her before the second round timer went off. In that time I managed to clear off my dining table-- so I can have a free work area for doing some needed and desired planning, and continuing to go through mail--much of what I was sorting was mail & receipts--so a little more recent than Mary's Cathy calendar from 1989! She found some treasures for sure--I'm looking forward to doing the same when I start getting into more "stuff" besides just mail and paperwork.

And I think we both found it was easier to keep at it for longer (we did two 30-minute sessions) when there was company to talk to & share with along the way. We're looking at our calendars to set our next get together. And of course we took a game break in between, and had lunch afterwards, so had fun as well as working: win-win-win!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/8/14 3:36 P

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You have a nice peaceful weekend of r and r - I am doing the same.

Many people enjoy the Deepak meditation series. They just do not resonate with me. I believe we each have to find what is right for us. Blessings.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/8/14 12:32 A

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Thanks for your support and positive energy sent my way, Amy!

And thanks for the link (again?), Wispy--I added it to my favorites, so I won't lose it. There's a new Oprah/Chopra meditation series I'm sort of trying, but I have to admit I'm not enjoying it as much as I have in the past, and I'm just not fond of the Sanskrit mantras.

Sorry, want to share more, but I'm just really tired tonight. Sister's coming over tomorrow morning, we're going to try an experiment of side-by-side sorting, and see how it goes. I'll fill you in.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/7/14 7:24 P

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Hi honey,

Just clicking here should take you to the start page, then you can see if you think it would suit you.

palousemindfulness.com/selfguidedMBS
R_
gettingstarted.html


Nothing lost if its not for you. Also let me know if you are interested in the emotional maturity group which I joined a while back. It is a spiritual programme but in no way a religious one. You can be of any faith or no faith. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/7/14 7:20 P

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Wow, Wispy, I would love to know more about it. I am gearing up for a mental battle with my ex in court in December, and staying calm, letting go of the fear will help me tremendously until then. It's only since I started martial arts that I have felt like I could take a deep breath, it would be nice to be grounded and centered while I prepare for the next mental battle. It would probably help me when I'm putting the preschoolers down for nap time, too.

Amanda, I am sending energy toward you getting the right job for you. Or for your job to transform into the right atmosphere for you to stay in. I know what it's like to dread going to work each day. It's not good for your mind, body or soul. So I hope something changes for the better for you soon.



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/6/14 4:15 P

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Hi there ladies,

Keep up the good work Amanda. Your journey is long at the moment, but so often these challenging spells bring great blessings later - this is my experience. Handing it all over to my Higher Power allows me to relax a bit. I do believe all things work together for good.

Amy that has been my problem too. I was geared to fight or flight and in a constant state of awareness of danger. I am saying was but in fact it was only six months or so ago that I had a very bad case of it. I just could not seem to really let go. I was in a state on constant alert.

I am thinking your therapist may be right. I tried many things before I found what worked for me.... is working for me. I could not even understand how to centre myself or feeling grounded.

I believe I have found an answer that works for me and it does involve meditation but other work as well. I joined a group that are working on this type of probem, among others. We are all different in emotional stuff - but many of us have been or still are being abused. It is the most helpful thing I have found.
The particular meditation course I am doing is in helping us initially to feel grounded although I only discovered that after doing it and feeling the results in my body and mind. It is very centering for me. The woman who mentioned it to me was just chatting about how much she was enjoying it - and you know sometimes how you just seem to know something is right for you. I started it straight away.

It is an 8 week course which I had never even attempted before. I was not a regular meditator in the past. I am now in Week 7 of the 8 and really enjoy it mostly. On the days I do not want to do it, I just do it anyway no matter how restless I feel. Part of the course is being kind and gentle with ourselves at all times. A couple of weeks ago one of the meditations has turned out to be the absolute best for me. It is all about bringing a stressful situation into the meditation and being kind and loving to ourselves as we work with it. Not PTSD type of situations. Just everyday upsetting situations that tend to arise frequently and cause a negative feeling of some kind.

Gosh sorry Ive rambled so much - you can tell it is beneficial for me. If you are interested in the group, or the meditation course I am happy to share details with you.

Love Wispy



Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l
/leobuscagl106299.html#4GBcuIMeGBewhUu
R.99with ourselves and gentle when we feel this way.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/6/14 1:11 A

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Amanda, I am sending energies for you to find the position that will fill your needs. Now that you are defining it so well I believe it will come to you.

Wispy, I love the meditations you are doing. Can you recommend anything to help let go of stress and relax your body? Letting go of stress and finding my center is the hardest thing for me, and my sensei has specifically tasked me with finding a way, even recommending a few techniques, but making it clear that as a woman and abuse survivor I may need to find my own way. As a former cop, he understands the adrenaline and the fight or flight response, but he says when he works with me, it's like my muscles are stuck in that cycle, and I have forgotten how to relax them. I am finally learning to relax my mind somewhat, but finding my center? I can barely even find my belly button!


What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/5/14 11:56 P

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I'm pleased with how my conversation went with the program manager today. He heard the frustration, but I stayed calm and mostly unemotional. I spoke of my applying last minute for the OM position, and he wants all internal candidates to be interviewed. I mentioned some of my ideas and what I would want to bring to the unit. I believe I made clear that I need for my creativity and strengths to be recognized and utilized--whether in this unit or office or elsewhere, and that the continuing lack of support, leadership and communication (I even used the term 'neglect' once) has been and continues to be very damaging. Not sure what, if anything will come of it, but he seemed to agree with some points, and wrote down a few of my ideas.

Tomorrow I'll meet with the supervisor of the program that's looking for a temporary CSS (same position and pay range as my current temp position in my unit) for their program. In my letter of interest I mentioned the desire to grow professionally, which will require experience in more than a single program (I've been with the Customer Service Unit my whole 7 years there), and the desire to have one clearly defined job and set of responsibilities (I'm still trying to learn all the counter procedures while still doing the majority of what I did previously), and to work in partnership with a strong and experienced supervisor. Having had 4 different supervisors in the last year and a half, with 2 of them part-timers, has been the pits! I'll have to tell her I also applied for the Office Manager gig--which would be permanent, and a higher pay range--though I have no idea how likely it will be that I might make even the first cut.

I can only try to make positive changes. I'll keep y'all apprised.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/4/14 11:30 P

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Nicely said, Wispy!

I'm still catching up with tasks, like sorting my supplements, putting away laundry. I'm also watching special features in a 2-disk set DVD for The Great Escape. Great story, love the theme song. I remember it from when it came out in 1963. I was just a kid, but remembered a few scenes. Due tomorrow back at the library, so won't have time to see all the extras. But it's been fun!

Take care ladies--do something positive toward your goals, and something nurturing for yourselves!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/4/14 4:24 P

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Hi ladies,

Oh Amy we so deserve and need to know we are loved and that someone cares.
Very pleased indeed that you are no longer suffering in that dreadful atmosphere.
I hang on to the words of love and kindness that are offered to me and kind of feed off them when I need to.

Keep up the good work Amanda. Love the advice from our furry friends. :)
I am amazed at how great you are at keeping on keeping on with the applications. Tenacity and commitment and the "never give up" attitude.

Loving it all in each one of us. It is my way of being also. The pearl may be formed with the very next grain of sand.

Being alone, in one sense, as the three of us are means that we do not have someone to offload to in the evenings and get some in family support right there as it were. Mind you looking back I dont remember getting too much of it with any of the partners I chose. But that was due to my choosing. Big relief to discover there was no one to blame. Big lesson in life I am learning curently from this Meditation Course I am doing that no one is to blame. No one is to blame. Just love the words and the feelings they bring up in me. Such a sense of peace.
Blaming anyone, myself or others goes with anger, hurt, unforgiveness and these all call me pain - no one else. I am very pleased to be learning ways of living peacefully with myself no matter what. I am learning have to say here. It aint no quick fix. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/3/14 11:05 P

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Absolutely ask for support! Sometimes I feel bad for whining about how unhappy I am at work, but my Spark Friends help me remember I am worthwhile and loved, regardless of the dramas and unkindness or neglect. We can all use encouragement and support at times; at other times it feels great to pass it on to others!
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Oh, my Goddess! Did y'all see the delightful video on the Start page in the motivation section on 20 Things You Should Say More Often, presented by a darling little boy? www.sparkpeople.com/resource/dailysp
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k-videos-detail.asp?video=19

Funny and on point--I highly recommend it!

I submitted the Office Manager application online this evening, and I emailed my letter of interest on the temp position from the office on Saturday. Not sure I'll do both the 11/6 and 11/9--I'll see.

Got chores done--laundry and grocery shopping in between application sessions. Now prepping for a 4-day work week to come! I posted Advice from a Wolf on yesterday's status, and Advice from a Fox on today's. December's selections will be Advice from a Snowman, and from a Reindeer!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/3/14 7:25 P

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Wispy, I think your prayers worked, because today was so much better! So many people made a point of giving me some kindness (I think someone may have said something to the general population). Some were still awful, but at least they were in the minority.

Thank You for reminding me that it's okay to ask for reinforcement. I tend to forget that. emoticon

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/2/14 9:45 P

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Amy I am so sorry to hear what is going on in your world. So much unpleasant drama and misunderstanding. I am so hoping that you can spend time with the people who support you and friends. We need positive reinforcement when life is throwing these curveballs. We are hear for you. Please vent any time.

Sending loving thoughts and prayers.

Wispy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/2/14 7:47 P

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Good day, my friends.

Amanda, I really truly feel there is something coming to you soon.

Wispy, I had the same experience. I went from retail management to teaching preschool. (Although, some customers behavior, especially in the holiday season, would indicate that I am now working with a much more polite crowd!).

So this next part is kind of negative. I apologize, but I really need a forum to get it off my chest, so that maybe I can get free of it.

I have had some computer issues lately, so it's hard to check in. This sort of derailed my weight loss, but I am trying to get my head back to a healthy thought process. October was a terrible month personally. However, things are starting to look up.

The school I work at this year has been going through a lot of changes and it has contributed to a very negative atmosphere. Some parents took their displeasure out on me and spread a lot of rumors that I had done things that I didn't, based on the fact that I was posting anti -domestic violence messages on my social page during Domestic Violence Awareness month, and because CPS was called about a child at our school. They told other parents that I was looking for kids that could be called abused, etc. They also told people that I had called CPS about a child from the school last year. They were wrong...I was at college the day that took place. But I am not from the same culture as most of them, so maybe they wanted a scapegoat. (The family from last year have actually been staunch supporters of me, but no one seems to be listening to them). As a result, several parents have made it a point to quit speaking to me. The principal finally was forced to address it, and the staff have really stood by me, but it does make me wonder if my ex is trying to smear me before our next court date, since he is friendly with some of these families. He needs ammo, I guess, because he is facing felony charges for harrassing me last July.

The trouble with DV is that even after you get out, you stay paranoid all the time.

I posted all kinds of stuff during Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. I guess it's a good thing all the kids at school are relatively healthy, because who knows what I would be blamed for if they weren't?

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/2/14 3:16 P

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Wishing you well. Sometimes the waiting seems hard. One of my boys kept applying for job after job and missing out. He was qualified and we were getting a bit stressed, well I was, he seemed to take it all very well. Then doors began to open in another line altogether. A totally different kind of work began to open up. He started out not sure if this was really for him. As it has turned out he is very good indeed at it, so much so that he is getting a paper published. Sometimes when none of the doors open, it is time to look at a different set of doors. Thinking your idea may be a very good one.
You are so interested in that field and maybe a door there will open all by itself.

Love Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/2/14 1:41 P

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After talking to Mary, who wondered if I were going to apply for the Office Manager position that finally got posted for our office, I reversed my "No way!" position, and decided to apply, though I would pose many thoughtful questions if I should be interviewed for it, and then pray long and hard before accepting, should it be offered. I actually found myself thinking, during my 3 break-time walks yesterday, about some of the projects and approaches I might employ to start building a more positive, hopeful and cooperative team, where each member could experience more success and know they were working toward something better. Also little steps I might take to improve morale in the office at large.

Anyway, I checked, and the job posting doesn't close until Tuesday at noon, so I'm working on the application today and tomorrow. Then I'll tackle an Admin Asst due 11/6, an Event Coordinator due 11/9, and an Admin Asst with Results Washington out of the Governor's Office that's continuous until filled. My "break" from applying didn't last that long. I've realized it's very important for me to get out of the current position I'm in where my duties and expectations are unclear or unrealistic, and the stress of too little support, planning and communication is too high. I also plan to start looking outside the state, especially at some of the "Firms of Endearment" I heard about at the Healthy Worksite Summit.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/2/14 12:07 A

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Yes, it took me a couple reads to figure out the confusion--so you're keeping me on my toes. emoticon

Sounds like you have a fun time planned. And yes, I spent an enjoyable day getting a few things caught up at work. I have a better idea of some things I want to communicate, and some job possibilities to consider.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/1/14 4:52 P

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OOp sorry Amanda, called you another friend by mistake.

I know you enjoy working on a Saturday when its quiet.
Did some watering and dead heading this morning. Just catching up on some email now.
Going out with James and Catherine for dinner tomorrow night all being well. Looking forward to it.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/31/14 11:12 P

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A very busy day at work, but kept in pretty good spirits. Will go in tomorrow to back up a Saturday seminar, which means lots of catching up work with almost no interruptions--so looking forward to it!

Got take-out donburi, added my own sautéed veggies on top, then lit the candles & did a little ritual & tarot reading for the holiday. Hope you all had an enjoyable day!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/31/14 4:46 P

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Wishes for good fortune are going out to you Aurlie.
It sounds like a much happier day.

Blessings Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/31/14 12:17 A

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I did better again today. I talked to myself on the short drive to work and before getting out of the car, inviting any tender or worried parts to hang out elsewhere, and not be bothered with whatever happened at work. Then I asked who was up for the challenge of showing up--efficient parts, parts who like helping customers and explaining things to them, bold ones. And so I scheduled a meeting with my manager (supervisor's boss) to discuss some unit concerns next week, including my desire to be considered for the new temporary position we just heard about yesterday. Also had a nice talk with a coworker after work about job hunts, and he mentioned an organization I want to check into--Group Health, a local HMO. If I could get an admin or customer service job of some kind with them, I might be able to move into a more wellness-related one at some point. Anyway, I'll be checking that out.
emoticon
Then I got started on my letter of interest at home for the temp position. Didn't get too far, so will need to finish this weekend. Due Monday, and tomorrow is one of our 4 busiest days of the year. Wish me luck!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/30/14 5:39 P

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I am so hoping you will get this honey. Whenever you talk about your job it sounds so stressful and well messy, for lack of a better word. You do deserve better. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/30/14 12:19 A

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Actually, it wasn't my coworkers. It was a survey (how are we doing at making our agency an employer of choice?) that I took and answered in all my candid disapproval, an conversation with one of our managers trying to come up with a project for our customer service program--but only based on what will benefit our customers, not staff--turns our frustration, difficulties, concerns & disengagement are factors not to be considered at all, and a hostile & volatile customer on top of it. I wasn't dealing with him, but trying to help my own customer as he was yelling and swearing close by. I just got overwhelmed by it all, and then an issue with a coworker who has taken over some of my tasks, but I've never had the chance to do continued or "advanced" training, and so caught a mistake that she didn't understand, because we had never discussed it. I tried to correct her in a way that wasn't critical, admitting I hadn't discussed this situation with her. She was frustrated, I was anxious & feeling again like I've been set up where I can't feel successful.

I did better today after much journaling, self-talk, a new guided meditation, and those babysteps I mentioned yesterday. I also learned of a new temporary position in my agency coming up I will go for. It's the same pay, but would be one clear job (not a combo of a whole new job on top of more than half my old job), and working under an experienced supervisor. (My last evaluation was signed by 3 different supervisors at the start of the year, the midpoint, and the end.) She knows and respects me, so I think I have a shot--as long as management doesn't try to prevent it due to other transfers out of our unit and the dire straits they'd be left in.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/29/14 4:59 P

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Good golly Amanda. I am so sorry that work is very stressful for you. Ending up in tears is no fun at all. Is it the girls that are giving you a hard time again?

Pleased the day was not a total write off though and that you got a goal met.
Hope you have someone you can share the ins and outs with. If not you know there is always a listening ear on this thread.

Love you honey.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/29/14 12:16 A

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Glad you are enjoying yourself.

Sorry to say I had a crummy afternoon at work--couldn't stop the tears by the end of the work day. But came home & played with sweet Dora emoticon then got a few little to-dos done, so I feel like I accomplished something. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/28/14 4:27 P

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Today I am just enjoying sitting back and viewing the result of our labours. It is damp and a fine rain again today. I can just sit in the lamplight and admire what is.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/28/14 12:06 A

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Glad you got lots of work done with the gardeners. I'm kinda tired tonight, but got a couple little to-dos done after work, so I'm happy about that.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/28/14 12:01 A

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Sounds like a pretty challenging day all in all. Bet you are happy the power is back.
My gardeners finally turned up all prepared with equipment today and did 4 hours. I doubled the time seeing as how it has taken so long to actually get them here, thought I had better make the most of it. They worked so well and everywhere is look much better.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/27/14 12:04 A

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I love petunias--they are one of my favorite flowers, especially the really brilliant shades, and the striped ones, too!

Lost power last night a little after 8 pm last night. I had an emergency flashlight plugged in, so was able to get around, but I never know how long it will be out, and didn't want to run it down, say reading. I discovered that while my laptop could run on the battery, I had no internet, so couldn't Spark or email--that was a bummer! So I went to bed well before 9, with it completely dark.

Woke up around 5:30, got around and went and found a Starbucks that had power (as the one closest to me did not). Went by the laundromat where I last washed clothes when the apartment ones weren't working, they opened at 9. Since I had gone 2 weeks already, I had to get clothes washed today, so as not to run out. So I gathered them up, took a book and snack, and did them there. I ran home after transferring to the dryers, and found the power was back on--after 14 hours. Big relief! It's kinda scary, not knowing if it might be days--will food spoil in the fridge? How will I get ready for work and get there on time, if it comes to that?

I've gotten several chores done today--oh, and saw they finally posted the supervisor position, which should have been filled already, if they had been smart about it and planned well. We will be extremely lucky if the new person even shows their face before the current fill-in person retires. Grr!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/26/14 5:32 P

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Sounds like a lovely trip. Your sister is a great support Amanda. Just loving her without even knowing her. So pleased everything was safe and sound.

I had a lovely day planting out petunias. I bought 10 different colours at the barn last Thursday. They are looking gorgeous.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/25/14 10:44 P

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Well, we had some emoticon emoticon and a brief emoticon on our trip up north to Sedro-Woolley. I am so grateful to my sister for doing the driving! emoticon After we dealt with the storage unit, I bought her lunch at a *marvelous* restaurant, the Calico Cupboard, in Mount Vernon. emoticon (You can check out their website to see what y'all are missing!) www.calicocupboardcafe.com/

Good news on the unit! I had received a letter from the storage complex (a very nice lady owns or manages it), explaining it had been discovered that thieves had cut off the locks to some units and replaced them with their own. We were asked to come check, and file a police report if necessary. Being an hour and a half away, it took me some weeks to make arrangements, and I didn't know what I would find--an empty unit, a trashed one, nothing disturbed, or something in between. Well, my key opened the lock, the door was very hard to open (so I presumed nobody's been in it) & the contents were very dusty, but all there. So I grabbed a ladder to bring home (oops, I left it in sister's trunk!), bought a more secure lock from them, and closed it back up.

The next time I visit will probably be when I clear it out to move the contents down here. I'll be researching places relatively close to me (I'm willing to travel a little bit) to find a larger unit to consolidate, at a better price than the smaller one really close to me that I rarely visit! I hadn't realized how much the not knowing what was happening had been weighing on me, until we left, and I kept heaving heavy sighs of relief!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/25/14 4:57 P

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Have a good weekend with your sister and lots of laughter along the way.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/24/14 10:53 P

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Thanks for thinking of me, Wispy. emoticon I did join for a while, but they weren't very active at that time. I have been tapping more on my own on various emotional issues around work and finances--feeling confused, helpless, stuck, worried, etc. I find it can help.

I'm going up to my storage unit an hour and a half to the north, where I first moved from California; they've had some problems there, and I need to check on the situation. I'll probably invest in a more secure lock. And I probably shouldn't wait to get the right job and figure out where I'm moving, before getting the contents of that unit down here. I have another unit in town, which costs more than the one in Sedro-Woolley, though it's half the size. I want to check around and see if I can find a larger unit relatively close to take it all, with enough room to maneuver a little--and set a schedule to start going through the contents and tossing or donating a lot of it. It'll cost, but I'm tired of waiting for everything to come together the way I've hoped it would--which just hasn't happened, months and years later. Bless my sister for being willing to make the trip up north with me. We'll have lots of sharing time in the car together!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/22/14 11:03 P

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Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/Tapping) & Weight

Just saw this team today and thought you might like it Amanda. Of course perhaps you have already joined. I know you are into Tapping.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/22/14 10:46 P

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Sorry for the frustration of workers not coming when they said they would.

Turns out our technical problems are not related to the agency, but geography. Our internet provider, Century Link, is having some problem in our area; we heard today some nearby stores are affected to. Have to say, in a weird way that cheered me up. The fact that the problem wasn't resolved in 24 hours isn't a reflection of our agency not caring about our office or not devoting enough IT resources to fix the problem, because the problem is coming from outside. So we were just dealing the best we could. At least now we know we can sometimes get help from another office to pull up a report and fax it to us, or help us get a check deposited for our location into a CD account for an electrical contractor, so the books of 20 permits each they picked up yesterday could be activated in order to call in inspections!

Once our systems do come back up, we'll be playing so much catch up, entering transactions for which we accepted cash or checks & wrote up a manual receipt. I'll also have a couple days' worth of emails and meeting room requests to respond to. Just praying we have no more shut downs at the very end of the month when 3rd quarter taxes are due!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/22/14 5:13 P

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Sounds good. We may have it over here. Never advertised. They advertise more modern stuff here. Its amazing what you find if you look around though.

Hope today is better for you at work.

Waiting for the gardeners so late again, but she rang to say she would be here by 930 or 10.00. She was due at 8.30. Its almost quarter past 10 and they are still not here.

Dont like them being here when I am not at home and Kim will be here later. So if they dont come soon I will have to cancel it.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/22/14 12:23 A

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Moleskin is a name brand by Dr. Scholl's. It's padded, and you can cut it to size to cover an area that's rubbing. It's been around for decades here in the States. I remember my dad talking about it way back for hiking and climbing--mainly used to prevent blisters.

Building maintenance is coming to look at sink and tub drains--both draining very slowly. I've been using drain de-clogger periodically, but they said I shouldn't--they'd rather take care of it--fine by me cuz it runs over $5 a jug each time. Oh, so I did some straightening in the bathroom & the hallway!

Another frustrating day at work, in that we finally got the last transaction paid by cash on Friday (when systems were down statewide almost the entire day) entered so our deposits would finally balance out over the 3 days according to the computer records--when all systems wet down in our office a little after 1 pm. This time phones were effected and Outlook was out--which made it harder to find things we could do.

So more manual receipts, no credit or debit cards, not able to look anything up or process the payments in the computer for the last several hours. And no idea why it only affected our office this time!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/21/14 6:28 P

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What is Moleskin? I know the problem with scrunched up socks. My latest shoes from the op shop are wonderful. Just like walking on air. Even with all the walking while I was on holiday and not a problem with my feet. So very grateful for that.
I am going to keep my eyes open and see if I can find another similar to the ones I have. The soles are so soft and kind of airy and warm. I always problems with cold feet in winter, even with fur lined boots. For whatever reason these keep my feet lovely and snug.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/20/14 11:43 P

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Got my hair cut Saturday emoticon --not this bad, but I don't really like the short sides; I have to figure something else to try. I'm enjoying the longer length, but the top is a bit too short. Hit the Dollar Store and Target, food items at Costco, then my first shopping at Value Village, the thrift store I take donations to. Got 4 tops for just under $20, plus a purse for about $6 (the prices of the latter at JCP horrified me earlier).

On Sunday I met my new Spark Friend who lives in the same town, and we drove to the Southern end of Soos Creek Trail--and walked farther than the previous time--over 4 miles each way. I kind of overdid it, and felt it in my knees, back and a rubbed toe. I took off my shoes and smoothed my sock (which seemed fine); I picked up Moleskin tonight after work, and will try to always remember it.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/18/14 4:49 P

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Great to see so much chat while I was away and catch up on all the news.

Hi there Amy I know nothing about astrology. But hope this is a good week for you. emoticon

Amanda - Gosh, what on earth did you do all day. So pleased that you kept your cool. And of course no one would know how long it would take to get things up and running again.
You handled it all very well. I sure know what you mean about that being less bothersome than people. I constantly have to remind myself I am powerless over other people and what they do or do not do.
Thinking you are either working a Saturday which you enjoy, or else are at home.
Either way have a good day.

I'm just home having another day of relaxation. Did my exercises and meditation yesterday, so got back into the routine. Ate well all day but finished off the holiday goodies in the evening. So today will get back on my eating plan. Weighted myself and the damage is much less than I expected - so nice and slowly and I should be back to my maintenance level before Christmas. emoticon



Edited by: -WISPY- at: 10/18/2014 (16:54)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/17/14 11:04 P

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emoticon dear emoticon Your trip sounds marvelous, and so emoticon to hear your energy stayed up the whole time, and you got around fine. That is an emoticon development!

You have a lot of reading ahead of you if you want to catch up on our doings over the last few days. Don't strain your eyes! emoticon

When I was posting my status tonight, I inadvertently deleted it all when trying to move the cursor to the end of the message. I hate that, and wish they'd move the delete X out of the writing box!!

Today was strange in that a huge virus had many computer systems down statewide from before work started until late afternoon. We couldn't process payments until after 4:30, so the 3:00 financial reconciliation and deposit prep took twice as long as usual. It totally impacted what we could do for customers, but I didn't get upset, since it was just an uncontrollable circumstance to deal with. It's the neglect and poor decisions that bother me. I was able to stay pretty cheerful most of the day, despite the tech stuff and the rain.


Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 10/18/2014 (00:52)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/17/14 4:59 P

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Had a wonderful holiday. Was sure I posted here yesterday. Must have forgotten to press the send.

Still in Queenstown in spirit and not back into routine yet. We spent 5 days on the go dawn till very late. So much to do and so much to see. Old favourite haunts and new wonders that we had not done before. I cant believe I was able to keep going for 5 days with no rest day. That is totally amazing for me. The exercises I have been doing for the last couple of months or so must be paying off.

The weather was perfect, sunshine, snow capped mountains and spring covering all the trees with greens and so many blossom trees. It is a magical place. Never been there in Spring time before.

So back to reality today.

Hope it is a good week for us all.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/16/14 11:55 P

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Today was a struggle at work. We just lost one of our people to another program, so fewer of us are doing the work now. And one person was getting really sick and won't be in tomorrow. And oh yeah, they STILL haven't posted the Office Manager job. She's retiring in mid-December--2 months away--and she's the most experienced CSS of all!

And the new printer/copier/scanner we got saddled with is a royal pain--slower, less paper storage for the busiest service location in the state, an all-around inferior model than what we had, with almost no training given, and we're moving into our busiest time when quarterly taxes are due and we get the biggest numbers of customers.

So frustration and worry and resentment over lack of planning abound. Each break when I went walking outside, I did my best to focus on the beauty of the trees (and changing leaves!) and grass and sky around me. Asked the Goddess to help me stay focused on all the people and things I love and appreciate in my life, and for a while kept patting the upper chest tapping point (palm above the heart, like you would if you were startled) while breathing deeply, just trying to remain calm and soothe away some of the stress that thinking about conditions at work brings on.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/16/14 12:08 A

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In my status I mentioned having a minor epiphany about work this morning. I was making my coffee, and I just got an aha about the nature of my Strengths (as measured in Strengths Finder 2.0, a business/self-help book about identifying and using your strengths to succeed) which are Ideation, Positivity, Strategic, Connectedness and Learner. What feeds me and excites me is creating and developing and improving plans and processes, whereas the nature of my current position is reactive--responding to the questions and needs of callers and customers at the counter. Even most of our program specialists react to complaints or applications filed, debts incurred, infractions committed. I always thought it was the enforcement nature of much of the agency's work that didn't interest me, but it's also the very work of reacting rather than creating.

It's why I enjoy projects so much: I get to see what I can do to change something. My interests in wellness and education are very much about creating, designing, refining new skills, habits, programs and building relationships along the way. Not sure yet what may come of this new understanding, but it may help guide some of my thinking and proposals.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/14/14 11:15 P

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Interesting. I've heard references to Mercury being in retrograde, but have never paid that much attention or invested much in astrological matters. But this is a very challenging time at work--and not in a good, growing way, but a stressful one.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/14/14 2:33 A

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Oh Amanda, your last post could have been written by me. What a horrible day. Then it hit me: I think mercury is in retrograde. emoticon I know very little about astrology but I am all too familiar with Mercury in Retrograde. It is another name for "Fasten your seat belt, because the next week is going to have so many miscommunications that the next 15 days are basically gonna suck."

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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10/13/14 9:20 P

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I had so many plans this morning for things I wanted to do when I got home. But a discouraging day at work has left me feeling disappointed and unmotivated. I'll try to relax, have dinner, and see if I can get in a better mood to get something positive done for me.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/13/14 12:02 A

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As I just wrote in my status, I spent an hour on the phone with my dear childhood friend (50 years and counting!) who lives in Hawai'i. emoticon We talk once in a while, and I realized how much I love to share laughter and the little things that are going on, and the things I'm thinking about. I want to make these phone calls a semi-regular thing. *And* I've decided I want to copy some of the daily updates I post on Spark People into a Word document that I can share with her and other dear friends that aren't on Spark (yet). emoticon
I did laundry & took a nap emoticon then got groceries. I made a big pot of soup using up a bunch of food. I had a couple bowls for dinner, and have plenty left over for more meals. I washed and sliced up veggies & put in 5 containers for healthy snacks for the week. I love to get that done as well as prepping my supplements on Sundays. It makes for a positive way to begin my work week.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/11/14 9:03 P

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I'm relaxing after dealing with the Geek Squad. As I said in my survey, I had my first partially negative experience with the first agent I got transferred to when I called. The sound quality wasn't that good, I had trouble hearing and understanding him (spoke fast), and we wasted all this time on getting me signed in on a page I don't remember using and setting up a password for. And the email link to reset my password kept taking me to an error message page. I didn't know why we were doing this to get my anti-virus turned on, since my renewal I set up a month or 2 ago didn't get reset like it was supposed to. Anyway, he told me another agent would take over by chat, so we ended the call, & the next guy took care of me really quickly, and everything was fine. Tech issues can really make me anxious, and my stomach hasn't settled down yet.

Which is all kind of a bummer, since this morning was so much fun. I met up with a new Spark Friend who lives pretty close to me, in the same city, and we went for a walk on a new (for me) trail: the Soos Creek Trail. I forgot to check the time precisely, and we weren't sure about the distance markers, but we did about 3 miles out and back (the entire length is 6 miles each way) in a little less than 2 hours. There was a little up and down, and I was feeling it in my glutes on the last uphill near the end of our 6 miles. We talked about a lot of subjects, and it was totally fun to get to know a new person who's also into making healthy and positive changes in life.

Tomorrow I really need to do laundry and grocery shopping! But tonight will be mostly relaxing, with a little cleaning thrown in--and maybe some stretching, too. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/11/14 12:47 A

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I'm glad to hear you are connecting with other survivors, Amy. And helping your father understand sounds like a wonderful development, too! It took me a few seconds to figure out the meaning of DV, just like it did the first time I came across CSA here--Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Connections are great for everyone, and especially for survivors, who have often endured isolation. I know I'm really looking forward to meeting another Sparker who lives close to me, when we go for our first walk together tomorrow morning!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/10/14 2:53 A

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Have a wonderful trip Wispy, I look forward to the stories next week!

Blessedbeing, I am so glad your co-workers did that for you! it is wonderful to hear that they realize what an asset you are!

I'm having trouble sleeping. I think that this being DV awareness month, and my electronic crusading about it, have energized me. I find that I am connecting with a lot of survivors, that each of our stories mirror each others. There is some comfort in knowing that many smart women fell for the same lines I did. Just as importantly, it has helped me to find ways to explain it to others. I felt so frustrated trying to explain to my father what kept me in the relationship, but when I sent him some links, he began to understand better. He has even taken to sending me articles.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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10/9/14 11:48 P

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Have a lovely holiday! Looking forward to hearing about your travels when you return!

Blessed Be, Amanda emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/9/14 2:45 A

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The pantry is one area I seldom clean out. I just keep stocking up and putting the new stuff hopefully at the back. :)

I will be back at the end of next week.

Hope you have a good week guys.

Love Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/9/14 12:47 A

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I have a bad habit of letting food and medicines expire. I don't use medicines very often, as I'm mostly healthy, so they tend to expire. Thus I've learned not to buy big packages, as I usually end up tossing them out!

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/8/14 5:55 P

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Amanda that is wonderful. You must feel so warm and appreciated. I am glowing for you. :)

Happy to be feeling well so I can go on holiday on Saturday.
Really felt ill yesterday and thought it might be a virus. Just some out of date yoghurt by the look of it. The pkt says expiry date 2005!!!! Do you think I need to clear out the pantry.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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10/8/14 12:49 A

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Oh, emoticon you saved me from having to scroll down & search! emoticon

I drove over to Gig Harbor on Sunday for my BIL's 70th birthday party hosted by his son and DIL (who have a little girl of 5 & a boy of 2). Even though I got lost on the way there (MapQuest failed me), the afternoon was great fun! Stella (the little girl, who calls my sister Gramma Mary) is a total cutie patootie! And the location was lovely--right on the Sound, looked like a lakeside with tall trees and a big lawn in the back of the house--very peaceful, especially as the early evening light began to soften.

I shared on my status today that I was presented an award at work, thanking me for my years as a Wellness Captain. There was a picture of me walking (taken for an article a couple years back, just after I had lost weight), and a bunch of coworkers signed it with little appreciative and encouraging comments. It was a total surprise, and extremely gratifying.

I'm currently writing up feedback and evaluations from the wellness conference I attended, an possible ideas and activities are percolating!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/7/14 9:19 P

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Yes, you can start any time. I just happen to have it here Im bookmarking it on my laptop to take away on holiday. Only two days to go. palousemindfulness.com/selfguidedMBS
R_
gettingstarted.html


"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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10/6/14 11:46 P

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I really want to check out this meditation class you are talking about. I know you gave the link earlier, which I didn't check at the time. Can you do the classes any time? Guess I'll just have to find that link again, and look for myself.

From a friend's page--a emoticon sent it to her. I like it, and want to share it as well: Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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10/5/14 5:11 P

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You are a dear. I count you as friend too. I have learnt much from you over the years... now would you believe that. Years. lol.

Have a good weekend honey. I have done the neck and back exercises first thing this morning.
Started Week 5 of the meditation yesterday.
Have to tell you this weeks videos and reading were wonderful. I am discovering more and more as I go along, that my feelings and thoughts are normal. Painful maybe but made more so because I have thought they were sooooooooo abnormal. I was brought up to believe one did not have "bad thoughts or any feelings of a negative nature, or come to think of it... any feelings at all. That last bit was more by example than actual words.
The woman who took the meditation class yesterday was saying words I could have said myself and also that it is not a quick fix job. She was so gentle and kind and the whole video really is about loving and accepting every single part of ourselves and allowing it just to be without judgement. What bliss is that. I have done a lot of reparenting and getting in touch with parts. But somehow this goes beyond even that. The reparenting does help my little one. But it never helped me the adult all that much when the chips are down. This is just such a tender way of accepting the whole ego state as being OK. Just one side of the coin so to speak. Loving it Amanda.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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10/4/14 10:15 P

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Glad the meditating helped, Wispy on that emotional day. Have your heard from your GD--did she arrive safely?

I've been catching up on chores, cleaning and grocery shopping today. Also wrote a letter to a emoticon I connected with who isn't on the site much anymore. She's a young Goth writer, and somehow we made a strong and sweet heart connection. I love how through SP and the internet in general, you can make wonderful friends around the country and the world whom you may never meet in person, but who enrich your life. Just like you!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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10/4/14 6:30 P

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Well, you can always give it a break. Nothing to lose. If the doors had been meant to open on any of those honey, they would have opened.

Dont lose heart. It does not say anything about you. Only that they need someone who has different skills to yours. I say this because I find rejection hard.... and that is when it only comes from gardeners not accepting to take me as clients. :) I gotta laugh at myself really. I am totally neurotic over some things and still, after all this time think there must be something wrong with me.

Love you my friend. I so have your back.

Hugs Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (95,427)
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10/3/14 11:59 P

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Stayed up late last night and got my application submitted. I was so tired today, no getting caught up at work. Got a tiny bit done tonight at home, but just so tired. I think I need to take a bit of a break from the job apps--they just take a lot out of me. I feel like I need to build some strength and balance back up.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,459
10/3/14 12:27 A

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Good luck there, wishing you all the very best.
My youngest gd left for England today.
Just slowing down now for a relaxing evening. Its been a kind of roller coaster day emotionally. Needed it after a lunch time meeting where I spoke up and said what I wanted to say. Didnt get approval, didnt expect to, but I needed to say it. Emotions never feel good when I dont get affirmed. :) Mediation was a big help.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 current weight: 175.0 
 
190
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (95,427)
Fitness Minutes: (78,670)
Posts: 8,302
10/2/14 11:42 P

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Not a lot of time for posting. I took a dinner break, but it's time to get back to the resume. Wish me luck, ladies!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 145.0 
 
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