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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
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12/13/17 12:52 A

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I've posted to other threads, especially in the Just for Fun forum.

Still checking to see if anybody else is posting here on the team.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
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Posts: 14,439
12/7/17 11:47 P

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I'm getting tired of talking to myself, so I may not check in every day. Or I may check to see if anybody else is posting, but not post updates here as often. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
12/6/17 12:30 A

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Today I met with Tresa in Seattle--I just love busing up there, it's so easy! I took all the mail I had received regarding my accounts. She helped me understand what was sent and why, and what to keep, and what could be shredded (anything w/ my info) or recycled (general product info). We went over some statements and details of my portfolio. In the 1-2 months since I opened my investment accounts, there have been small gains and losses in different categories (more of the former, which is always preferable). It will be interesting to watch the monthly and quarterly statements and see how things progress over time.

I made an appointment for tomorrow to take my car in for servicing. With a round trip commute of 1.5 miles, it takes me a really long time to reach the next servicing threshold, and I usually just wait for the maintenance light to come on like it did during my trip with Mary. Luckily I can go in tomorrow morning, then the last half of my vacation can be all holiday tasks.

As I was deciding who would get which bookmarks I had ordered from Your True Nature (I got 2 sets of 12, my picks) I realized I didn't have enough! Of course, now that our unit has 14 people (13 CSSs plus our supervisor, so 13 besides me), that's a lot of bookmarks! I'm also including them with a number of gifts and cards to mail, plus I wanted one or two for me. So I used the 10% coupon I got from my last big order, and ordered a few of the specialty bookmarks that didn't show up in the assortment I could choose from for the discounted dozens. I enjoy sharing the profound and funny Advice from Nature from YTN, and I like supporting such a progressive and eco-friendly business.

I did 2 workouts again today--both by Jessica Smith: the 21-minute upper body circuit mile walk and a new one (for me)a 14-minute chair yoga routine that I reviewed in another thread (with a link). Took another short nap this afternoon, after getting up before 6 (to no alarm).

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
12/2/17 11:25 P

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Walked down to the closest espresso stand from the hotel first thing. While Mary was breakfasting, I was drinking my coffee & put in a few minutes on the elliptical machine in the fitness room. We both showered, then I went down to breakfast & journaled while she Sparked. After we had both packed up, we played a game for a little while until it was time to head out. It rained the whole hour we drove down to Longview.

I think there were 18 of us in all, at the 32nd annual luncheon and ornament exchange. We just have one auntie left from the original Shafer siblings, which included our mother. Lots of cousins and daughters and daughters-in-law of cousins. We had two 18-year-olds who have been coming since they were young girls, and the oldest was Aunt Wanda, who is in her mid-to-upper 80s. Yummy food, fun chatting w/ various relatives, lovely decorations, a fun game to distribute and redistribute the various ornaments, then the opening one at a time, so we could all enjoy and "ooh" and "ahh" over them.

Bless Mary for driving back those 2 hours in the rain. It was almost 5 and pretty dark as I left University Place where DS lives, so I didn't even attempt the freeway. In good weather and daylight, it's 40-45 minutes between our homes, but I took surface streets to Highway 99, stoplights and all for the 30 miles or so, which took just under an hour and a half. Poor night vision, and the difficulty seeing the lane lines on wet pavement made it a more stressful drive than usual, but I made it safely, and my dear Dora kitty was thrilled to have me back home.

I kept praying for the rain to stop (unsuccessfully) & for it not to rain tomorrow when I dive down to Lakewood just south of Mary for our December play at the Lakewood Playhouse. We're seeing A Christmas Carol--one of my favorite redemption stories. Just hoping it doesn't let out too late, and I can beat the dark home. But if it's raining again, it will be another long drive home. I just checked the weather website, and it said AM showers, so I should be OK!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
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12/2/17 12:53 A

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So Mary and I are in Chehalis at the Best Western. We drove down to Centralia & had lunch at our favorite Burgerville. Then to the Lee outlet store for jeans for both of us. Ducked into the Bath and Body Works outlet for a few items, then to Claire's for some Christmas jewelry--B3G3F, which we'll split the savings, since we each got 3 items. We played games, then I exercised in the pool. Then dinner salads at Subway which we ate in the room playing more games. Thoroughly enjoying our getaway so far, and looking forward to seeing some of the female relatives tomorrow at the Shafer Ladies do.

Hope the rest of you are having an awesome weekend!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/30/17 12:03 A

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I figured why I'm getting so many more steps when working in Seattle. In Tukwila I walk around the block (~ 4 blocks), but the waterfall garden is at least 3 blocks away, so I'm walking about half again as far 3 times a day--plus the jaunt to and from the bus stop each way, with lots of stairs and hills besides! Monday was 11,000, Tuesday over 12,000 and today 13,000!

I actually got ahold of 2 people with my employer accounts. I've been researching and logging and scanning or mailing statements the last 3 days, but I often hear nothing back. I think these 2 will follow through. I'll have to ask the lead not to assign me any while I'm on vacation.

I check my email first thing each night, but still no word on the county job. I'm continuing to hope and pray. If I don't hear tomorrow, I'll email to explain I'm going out of town on Friday, but am eager to hear--and that I understand if it takes them longer to decide than anticipated. I also want to remember to send some design info on our Customer Service University internal training program that one of the panelists expressed an interest in.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/27/17 11:26 P

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My first day of 4 working in the Seattle office went OK. The person whose desk I was at and whose phone I was using showed up, and while I got to stay where I was, she logged into her own phone number, so I was without a phone for awhile until she showed me how to log in. Answered a bunch of phone calls, a couple requiring a translator which always adds a bunch of time to the call. Got a little done on my collections accounts, though not as much as I had hoped. I did get a lot of steps in between walking to and from the bus stop, up and down stairs, and walking to the Waterfall Garden Park down the hill at each break, plus around the large building. Links for garden pix below; 3rd has a slide show!
www.pioneersquare.org/experiences/wa
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www.pioneersquare.org/the-neighborho
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/attractions/waterfall-garden-park

www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/27/17 12:19 A

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I wore myself out this evening when I did the Legs B workout (the Challenge I periodically rejoin alternates between 2 workouts of 6 exercises each for upper body, lower body and core) plus 2 of the exercises in Coach Nicole's 4 Bodyweight Exercises Targeting Your Butt www.sparkpeople.com/resource
/fitness_a
rticles.asp?id=1947

I think it took me just over 27 minutes to do 2 rounds of the 8 exercises, some needing repetition for each leg. My legs were shaking with fatigue by the end. I don't always work that hard, so I'm pretty proud of myself.
emoticon
I got my hair trimmed today & then ran to Target for a couple items, including the English muffins I forgot to pick up while grocery shopping yesterday (I basically never buy bread), so I can make turkey sandwiches to take to eat for breakfast on the bus. Since the Seattle office is down to a single CSS, who's been out a fair amount, the other 2 offices keep sending someone to process mail, wage complaints and checks that come in the mail, daily deposits (when there are checks), and handle deliveries and the courier (for that deposit), plus answer phones & work on online wage complaints. As my supervisor pointed out, if she could pick up the Seattle mail and take it to Tukwila to be processed, they could hire a temp office assistant, or find someone to distribute mail and accept deliveries. But for now, we're regularly sending someone to cover, or Bellevue does while one of our people goes there.
emoticon (Imagine that's a bus)
I mentioned that I'm not willing to drive for an hour in the dark getting home from Bellevue, but I'll bus up to Seattle. So I'm going there for 4 days, during which I expect to catch up on a lot of my tasks that I never have time for because of how busy my own office is. Then Friday I'm taking my personal holiday when Mary and I will spend the night in Chehalis and hit the Centralia outlet mall, then drive down to Longview for the Shafer Ladies on Saturday. Hope to be back soon after dark that night. Then the following week is my annual staycation to get a jump on holiday tasks. Fun times ahead!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
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Posts: 14,439
11/26/17 12:49 A

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I was astounded at how light the traffic was at Costco this morning! Got groceries there, Freddie's, Safeway and TJ's. Didn't spend a lot in any one place. Then home for lunch and finishing my current Amelia Peabody mystery. Then 2 loads of laundry. Then did the last of my online ordering at Calendars.com and YourTrueNature.com. I believe I'm done with my shopping!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/25/17 1:58 A

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We had a thoroughly delightful meal without overdoing it. I've been cleaning, making veggie stock, tracking spending, organizing a spreadsheet for cards and gifts. Did 2 rounds of one of the Core challenge workouts--wore myself out for about 20 minutes. I'm so happy I still have 2 weekend days coming for laundry, groceries, haircut, a little shopping, online shopping, prepping for next week's coverage in the Seattle office. I'm off to bed now. Have a great weekend everyone!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/23/17 4:26 P

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Excited to be going down to my sister & BIL's for holiday dinner. I just finished prepping veggies. Taking that and light dip, sparkling juice, Trader Joe's roasted veggies in butter and garlic--a new side dish. I'll spend the night, and drive back tomorrow morning. Have a lovely day, Sparkers!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/23/17 1:17 A

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I was too tired last night to get out thank you emails to the interview panel members. I emailed the recruiter, whom I forgot to ask for names when she walked me out on Tuesday, but she may have been off, because I never got a response. But I had found the supervisor's name and email on the website, and found in the staff lookup the only person named Mauricio. But there were dozens of Marys, including 3 CSSs, so I'll have to wait for confirmation before sending the right one an email. I did send them to the other 2 tonight, so they won't see them until after the holiday. Oh, well. Next week is when they expect to make a decision.
emoticon
Now to relax, catch up on housework and sorting and holiday plans! And work off the grazing we did at work today! Oh, boy, I overindulged--but it was fun, and I passed up many offerings. I only sampled one dessert; I couldn't pass up the homemade toffee cake with caramel sauce! The authentic tamale (in corn husk) and the chipotle mac & cheese were really good too! Naturally, I had a salad for dinner to try to balance all the daytime eating!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/21/17 10:43 P

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Not really sure how the interview went. I gave myself lots of time, and got there almost an hour early. The only place to sit and wait was a *really* uncomfortable bench with no back support. So I sat for a while and read in a Prevention magazine, then got up and stretched, then reviewed my materials, then got up and stood and paced a little, then wrote some affirmations, stretched, read in my magazine, stood, etc. I checked back at the time I was scheduled to be certain I didn't need to remind them I was there and ready, and was told they were running a little late.

There wasn't much energy in the room of 3 panelists, though one of the two CSSs from other sections of the division did ask several follow up questions, and after I mentioned some conversational Spanish, asked a couple of questions in Spanish which I answered in that language. I was instructed instructed to go into as much detail as I wanted to answer the questions fully, so I didn't try to censor myself. I think I presented my credentials pretty fully, and of course handed each of the 3 my list of "Why I am an excellent candidate for this position." I also gave the manager present a copy of a page from their website where I had found spelling/grammatical errors, though I also mentioned that I really liked the website and found it very customer-friendly. I asked several intelligent questions in the time allotted for that. So I think it went well, though I got very little response from the participants, particularly the woman who would be my manager. So I'll just have to wait and see what they say next week. Keeping my fingers crossed and prayers lifted!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/19/17 10:55 P

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We made it! We drove out to the Snoqualmie Falls www.snoqualmiefalls.com/ --and no, the falls weren't gushing like that today! But they are very pretty, and they have nice paths and viewing spots set up. We didn't do the hike down to the base--might do that another time. We spent a good while at the gift shop. Mary did a bunch of gift buying, I picked up 3 gifts and used the last of some gift money for myself. I had planned on one of their sparkly T-shirts, but there was only one design left--mostly they had jacket and long-sleeved tops out now. So instead I picked up an ear-warming head band (I've been wanting to find one!) with a little fox face on it & a little stretchy bracelet made of aventurine chips in pretty greens. So a successful outing!

With the drive being 40 minutes each way, we only spent half a day. Which gave me time to do my grocery shopping at Safeway and TJ's in the rain. I just finished 2 rounds of arm exercises on my challenge. www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
calendar-c
hallenge.asp?calendar=17
Oh, how I hate the photo for Day 4! But I love the 15 points I get for doing that day's exercises. Going to have dinner, do some reading and getting ready for my short week!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/18/17 9:48 P

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My sister proposed taking that little jaunt to Snoqualmie Falls this weekend that we had postponed before. WE planned on Saturday morning, but another health issue with her DH pushed our plan to Sunday. So after a Costco grocery run, I took a practice run (actually bus ride) to the King County Administration Bldg in downtown Seattle, where I'll have my interview on Tuesday. A good thing too, since the directions I got off Google maps weren't quite right--had me turning right on 4th Ave, when I needed to go left. In fact it's quite close to the Pioneer Square Station; they had me going an extra block or 2 & climbing an extremely steep hill! By taking the very first left, I think the climb won't be as steep. Even with my wandering, I spent less than 1.5 hours getting up there, finding just where to go & the fastest walking route, then getting back home. Seems to be about a 20 minute bus ride and 5 minute walk from the bus stop to home (up a short, steep hill--if I get the job I'll work my glutes every day!) A very productive use of my time!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/16/17 10:33 P

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Yes, I'm very excited about the upcoming interview. I may start examining the county website tonight, to let things start soaking in, and noting items I might mention. I've occasionally had the interview question of "How did you prepare for this interview?" If I'm asked, I want to have plenty to say--or to add, even if they don't ask.

I was so excited last night, that when I woke up the second time to pee, I couldn't get back to sleep (very rare for me ever since getting the new bed). I ended up getting up, making tea, reading, and then laying down for ~ 30 minutes until the alarm. Hope to make an early night tonight, though I'm not especially sleepy at the moment.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/16/17 1:19 A

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Guess, what? They decided in one day who they liked best, and I have an in person interview scheduled for next Tuesday afternoon! I'll spend some time this weekend reviewing the county website, especially for that division, to become more knowledgeable and speak to similarities and differences I see. I'm very excited!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (216,758)
Fitness Minutes: (164,819)
Posts: 14,439
11/15/17 12:00 A

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I had my phone interview, and helped keep it to the 15 minutes they had slated (meaning I didn't talk too much, which I can do sometimes). I think they only had 4 questions, the first being why I wanted or was applying for that job, and what experience or qualities did I possess that made me a good match for it. I think I did really well with that one. When they asked their few questions, they asked if I had any. I had just a few process questions, and then said I would like to share a few of my other qualities (a passion for Wellness--my own and supporting that of others, and my talents in relationship building with both customers and coworkers). I'll hear soon if I'm selected for a face-to-face interview--next week, I think. So please, keep good thoughts!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/14/17 1:37 A

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It was nice and sunny with a few clouds this morning, but by late afternoon, it was raining *hard*. My day on counters, and 4 people out, so it stayed pretty busy. Finished my wage complaint, did mail with my lead (luckily no checks), and started my week of permit refund requests. Only 2 of us there late, me and the lead; we did a little talking about frustrations with some staff members; for me someone who has a forceful (brusque? accusatory? scolding?) manner of reminding me it's time to take my lunch break. Turns out the lead has talked to her about her tone and how it can be off-putting. For her, the issue is 2 staff who resist her requests about coming to the counter when needed or adjusting lunches for coverage issues--basically not recognizing her authority. I felt better for getting her perspective, and I supported her in asking the supervisor to back her authority and remind all staff to follow her directions.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/13/17 1:19 A

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I was having tech difficulties earlier. I couldn't get logged on to Barnes and Nobles to make an online purchase. It would recognize my password, and when I changed it, it would recognize any of those. After 4 unsuccessful attempts to change the password and log in, I called and they processed an order over the phone. Tried twice more to create a password and log in--but no luck. Also couldn't email (required logging in) or chat (required selection of an Issue, but the drop down menu offered no choices and didn't accept typing!); at that point I gave up.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/11/17 12:41 A

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I've been doing little chores around the house. I forgot to turn off the alarm, so woke at 6 am, despite it being a holiday. I decided to get up then, and ended up taking a nap after lunch. When I left to run errands, I found a note from UPS on the door. They must have come while I was napping, but they couldn't have knocked very loud. I was surprised to have gotten delivery so soon--some calendars on a sale for myself and gifts. I want to make a list of what I've picked up already for whom, and what I still want to buy. I'm hoping to have everything ready for mailing that first week in December , which I'll be taking off again this year.

One errand didn't work out. I thought heading out for gas after my nap and afternoon coffee on a Friday would be fine, but the traffic trying to get into the Costco gas station was horrid. same for the traffic from there to the library. The one good thing about that drive was that the street leading to the new library, which was closed in May for construction and slated to open on 8/18 is finally finished enough that they took down the barricade, and vehicles can travel in both directions on a paved surface. The detours down little residential side streets for months have been quite inconvenient!

I'll do a little more Sparking, a little more reading, then retire early.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/9/17 11:01 P

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It was my day on phones, not the counter. Not real busy, so I was able to spend some time (as my supervisor requested) cleaning in my cubicle. Made progress, though much yet to do.

I put an alert on the wall about a scam email I received. We get so many reminders at work (in a government agency) not to click links on any suspicious emails, so I've learned to open it only enough to hover my mouse over the sender (once it was a personal friend's name, but can say it's a bank, internet provider or major company), and the real sender's email will be displayed--which is likely some bozo you don't know who is trying to cheat you or harm you in some way. Just trying to keep us all safe.

A poor customer came in today--a timid immigrant woman whose husband had recently opened a business--terribly frightened by a phone call from the IRS saying they owed $4000 and could go to jail if they didn't pay it quickly. She didn't know how this could be, since they had only had their business a few months. The person helping her and I assured her it was a scam, that the IRS never phones people up to collect money--they would only send an official letter. I mentioned I've gotten those calls, and checked the IRS website, which mentions some of the scams out there with people claiming to be them. I assured her she could hang up and ignore them, that it wasn't true. I have a special hatred for people who prey on the fears and ignorance of others. I frequently curse them with some big karmic payback.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/9/17 12:12 A

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My coworker and I had a big laugh after work today. I was washing some last dishes and she was pulling food out of the fridge, since she'll be out tomorrow for a family funeral. She offered me some leftover mac and cheese & fried chicken from lunch, and after I took a piece of chicken and went to stand up, it turns out I didn't pull far enough out of the door, and banged my head loudly on the bottom of the freezer. I'm asking her to rub my head until I can set down the food and do it myself, then I ask "So is God trying to tell me I shouldn't take the chicken?" She laughed and asked "If that's what He's saying to you, what's He going to say to me?" (She's much larger than I am.) "At least you eat healthy most of the time!" (I'm well known for my salads and fruits and veggies.) Maybe it's just because we were so tired that it seemed funny.
emoticon
I totally enjoyed my comfort food dinner, with Italian salad (left over from a big Elevator meeting; I hadn't partaken of the Italian subs they brought us earlier) for a European style dessert. Knowing I would be consuming more calories than usual at dinner, I didn't have any snack food after work. I did an 18-minute cardio/ST routine by Jessica Smith before dinner, so am feeling pretty balanced. Looking forward to an early night after finishing my book, the new Amelia Peabody, co-written by Elizabeth Peters (now deceased) and Joan Hess.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/7/17 1:13 A

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I'm working in Seattle tomorrow, so getting up quite early to try to arrive near 8 am. It will be my first time using my state transit pass. And hey, I just checked the weather, and it's supposed to get all the way up to 50, with a low of 42. But with a low tonight of 35, it will be a cold morning commute! But at least it should be dry--hooray! I'm looking at it as an adventure.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/5/17 11:38 P

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Amy, I think a lot of abuse victims struggle with organizing. Whether it's the habit of feeling powerless, or living in chaotic environments, creating order doesn't come easily for many of us. So emoticon on your progress. Babysteps are fine! When is your substitute exam? I will be praying for you to do well, and for new opportunities to open up.

emoticon Here's my big news--I finally located my boots! I will definitely pick a place to store them in the off season from now on. I thought I had looked through everything I brought home from work--as well as every closet, including the balcony and hot water heater ones, and yesterday the storage unit. But I had overlook one box sitting on a chair with some file folders on top, to I thought it was full of papers. Then I noticed it was one of our state archive boxes with handles and a lid that we sometimes moved things around in--and they were in the bag I used to transport them, along with other bulky items from my cubicle before we downsized. Since it snowed Friday and today, I'm really glad to have these fleece-lined boots to wear!

I posted on some other threads yesterday. I've been using my timer yesterday and again today. Errands to the storage unit and library yesterday and to 3 grocery stores today. Not big bills at any of them, which is good, as I want to take advantage of a sale on Calendars.com that may not last past tonight. I've been pretty consistent with doing a workout DVD most days for cardio or ST, and my weight came back down slightly. I'm going to have to watch those turkey stuffing flavored potato chips from Trader Joe's--they finally came in for the holiday, and I love them! Taking some to work tomorrow.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/5/17 12:35 A

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I've been struggling a lot with my energy lately. I've had a lot of old issues come up, and I think that's part of it. I'm thinking about going back on anti depressants for awhile, but I'm not sure that this is depression, per se. I think it's partly about being frustrated at work, and partly that my brain is finally healing some from the abuse, so a lot of the stuff I hadn't remembered is starting to come up.

I finally got my test scheduled so that I can become a substitute. I like my job, and all the changes going on, but money has always been an issue, and the operations director has been really tough on me lately, I suspect because I am the one who isn't likely to fight back.

I didn't make much progress on getting my house cleaned this weekend, but I did organize my craft drawers with all of the familys art supplies, and I am feeling pretty proud of myself. It was long overdue, and there were a lot of scraps that needed to be tossed, so I am feeling a lot of relief. I'm hoping to attack my desk soon as well.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/3/17 2:05 A

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Work was busy, partly due to the plumber exam which we host every 4 months in 2 sittings, 8-12 and 1-5. We have to check them in (up to 30 at each sitting), proctor the test, then collect all materials. Luckily I only had to oversee for short periods, and gather supplies, since there's no computer to work on any of my tasks--wage complaints, contractor review, collections accounts, even training. In the afternoon I did review a job posting for a Revenue Agent 2 position down in Tumwater that a coworker told me about.

This evening, after a call from DS, I researched lunch spots in North Bend, near Snoqualmie Falls where we are heading on Saturday. I've created a Word doc with directions for getting from here to lunch, to the Falls, then back here by another route. I'm looking forward to an adventure. And when I checked the weather, it was predicting am showers tomorrow, then pm showers on Saturday--which would make for better driving and walking!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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11/1/17 11:11 P

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With new employees, they've mixed up teams at work starting today. So I was on counter 2 days in a row, being switched from TTF to MWF. I'm also the "End of Day" anchor, responsible for getting the 3:00 deposit reconciled (for the first time in many months). Had a bit of a shock when we seemed to be $251 & cents short in cash, but it turned out a check had been entered as cash. The same person did it earlier in the day but noticed it, so I made the correction right away. With this one, we were in the middle of counting cash and checks, when we had to research the shortage, then I had to make the correction & reprint the report with adjusted totals. After the deposit was completed and I took my afternoon break, I prepared the void/replace form explaining why a cash transaction was changed. She wasn't happy to be signing 2 in one day, but she isn't always careful to make sure she chooses the correct method of payment. If you miss the proper radio button, the default is cash. It shows on the receipt you print--but you have to look. (Oh, yes, the joys of being a sales auditor!)

Actually I'm glad, because I'm careful with money and very good at maintaining a proper change fund. I'll also work at organizing the files better so it's easier to find things, and completed logs are filed for retention purposes, instead of piling up in the back of folders.

I've put in several short timer sessions tonight, and completed a 12-minute cardio interval workout. Getting ready to make a salad for dinner. Feeling productive.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/31/17 12:55 A

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It's getting kind of lonely here, talking to myself mostly.

It was my day on phones, not the counter, so I got to work on my accounts quite a bit, calling, emailing, sending mailed statements, depending on whether information we have was accurate. (Had 2 emails come back undeliverable--too bad since it's the fastest way to send statements, blank reports and links for making payments.) One employer that I hadn't contacted paid on their own, so they went into the "win" column as "paid in full"!
emoticon I'll take that emoticon
Paid rent, paid bills online and called to find out why a refund hasn't shown up yet. Did spending tracking too. I'm not caught up, but getting there. Did a 15 minute cardio workout by Jennifer Smith from a couple years ago. I was enjoying it, but I started to fade near the end--so I just toned down the intensity without getting upset. Since I've had problems in the past of pushing too hard, and ending up miserable, that felt like a win!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 10/31/2017 (01:09)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/29/17 11:05 P

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The big news is I finished my application for the county--a CSS3 position with a pay range *far* better than what the state pays! I did that around 11 (it helped that there weren't any supplemental questions, just the application to tweak as well as my resume, and a cover letter specific to this position). Did laundry in the morning also, plus a workout, then took an early nap, and went grocery shopping once the Seahawks football game was on. It's so fun to shop when most people are watching the local team.short lines everywhere--even Costco!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/28/17 9:55 P

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Enjoyed lunch with sister, Mary and BIL, Brian at the Qdoba midway between us; DS suggested it, since their fire-roasted shrimp we've been enjoying is going away. Even though they ran out of the fire-roasted shrimp after making their burritos. I had to wait quite a while for more to come out, and the manager comped my meal, so I'm willing to go back. Plus, DS and BIL got an order of chips and queso that blunted my hunger. It was a very good naked (no shell) taco salad, but I'll miss the shrimp when I go back to chicken or pork.

After those last couple of aggravating days at work, I decided I'd put in an application for a CSS3 with King County. I haven't been in job hunting mood lately, focusing on finances and organizing/decluttering, but I just got fed up and wanted to take positive action to try to escape and find something better. I cranked the cover letter out in just a few hours. I've printed it out and will review when I'm fresher, as well as review and tweak my resume (not required but recommended, so oh yeah!). It's due by midnight tomorrow. I have laundry and shopping slated for Sunday, but will get this done--then wait however long to hear.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/27/17 12:51 A

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A lot of odd issues came up today, so lots of time was spent trying to figure things out & communicate with various agencies to see how to fix a big honkin' booboo made by another department. No progress made on my own tasks--which is often the case on my counter days.

But I did manage to resubmit my employee survey--only took me 40 minutes to answer the 149 questions, since I had a copy of what I had done. Even added a few extra comments in the 2 open-ended questions at the end.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/26/17 1:48 A

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Just finished prepping my coffee with a pound of my just-arrived flavored coffee, Pecan Pie, mixed with a bit less of espresso & other dark roasts. The last of my Pecan Praline mix went into a jar to take to work for my lunchtime coffee.
emoticon
Mainly spent the evening dealing with Geek Squad and getting my new antivirus program installed & the old one uninstalled. But I managed to work on a few small tasks.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/25/17 1:53 A

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My flavored coffee got delivered today--yay! I was low but not out! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/23/17 11:58 P

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emoticon Amy! emoticon for sharing these victories--the running, the kitchen & cooking, facing a fear & saving time & money with laundry-- emoticon achievements! And I also saw that you've had some scale victories as well! emoticon I'm so happy for you, dear. And wishing us both luck with improving the work sitch.

Gave blood at work--the bloodmobile scheduled for our industrial park. I prefer going to the center, but am glad I tried this way. My day on phones, so I undertook the big agency employee survey. At a recent meeting, they explained they were redesigning it to attempt to get a lot more specific feedback to measure progress and improvement in discrete areas. So they broke a lot of past general queries into many more questions-- almost 150! They said it would take ~45 minutes, but it took me much longer, because I think about responses & decided to copy the questions in each section, highlighting my selections. Good thing I did, too, since I had it open more than 5 hours (with an hour lunch break--you couldn't save and come back, since it is anonymous, and when I finally submitted right before afternoon break at 4:25, I got an error message that Internet Explorer had stopped working. Now I did go to a page and type my name to be included in a drawing for an Amazon gift card. I guess they figured we would need an incentive to spend that much time. Of course I love being asked what I think, and having the chance to give feedback, so it was particularly frustrating to get that error message and not be sure my submission will arrive. When I told my supervisor what had happened, she said I could retake it if I wanted, to be sure they hear from me. Since I kept a copy of my responses (Strongly agree/Agree/Neutral/Disagree/Strongly disagree), and saved a Word doc with my answers to the 2 open-ended questions (on What should we start doing, stop doing or do differently to make L&I an employer of choice, I enumerated 9 different areas that need attention), it will take me much less time. I'll mention I don't know if my first attempt was successful--which could have been impacted by it being open so many hours, since I had to work on it between customer calls, notarizing customers at the counter, answering coworker questions about paperwork & payments, because that's what it's like in Customer Service--we rarely get to stop everything to focus on just one thing until it's done.
emoticon
Using my timer to get little tasks done at home, and about to have some nourishing, comforting soup!
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/23/17 10:34 P

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Wow, it sounds like things have been fairly productive at work! It's nice to see that it isn't all bad, and you and your office mates have come up with a pretty fair division of labor.

My work has been sort of crazy, but now that things are settling down again, I'm convinced it's time to find something better. I am also looking at an online university to get a teaching degree...but I'm not sure if that will limit my options in getting hired. I would love to talk to an HR person in the school district, but that is easier said than done.

I had sort of a minor triumph recently. I'm not sure why, but I've always had a bit of fear of public laundries. Maybe it's the fear of losing something, maybe it's because a lot of the people in them seem a bit questionable, at least if you go past at night. But the prices in the mobile home park that I live in have gotten a bit crazy, and the room is never clean. So, I took all my laundry to the laundromat...and got it all done in one load, for about half the price. They had these huge machines that could handle everything at once, where the laundry in my park would have made it 7 or 8 loads. So my most hated chore became quite a bit easier, a lot faster, and much more pleasant. Now I just have to get rid of all the excess that is cluttering up my home. Not surprisingly, I had a bit more energy to put toward that when I got the laundry done so quickly.

I had a small non scale victory too. We have 2 planters about 10 feet apart at the school. I get the kids to run laps with me around them. Last summer I had to rest before I could make it around 10 times. Now, I can beat the kids at it, jogging the whole time!

I also had a cooking triumph. My ex always used to make fun of my cooking (in reality, I wasn't bad, but over the years I got woefully out of practice) and my kids were not enthusiastic about it either, so I haven't been very confident in my skills. I've always wanted to learn a few ethnic recipes, but never felt confident. But I found a recipe on Weight Watchers for chicken tikka masala in a slow cooker that looked easy (and not as rich as the real thing, so I could make it regularly if I want). I tried it and low and behold, everyone liked it! They even asked me to make it again this week! I really felt the happiest I have in a very long time in the kitchen.

I think my schedule will allow me to be on the computer a little more this month. Hopefully, I will be able to more than just lurk.



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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10/21/17 9:54 P

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The best thing about work was that the manager (supervisor was out for the second day in a row, making things more relaxed) spent time individually with each person to get feedback on how things are going, especially with all the physical changes in the unit with expanding the front counter & moving all our cubicles & reducing the space we have. I gave lots of feedback, including positives, with plenty of identifying issues still to address and ideas for improvements. I was sharing off the top of my head, and could certainly provide plenty more. But it was nice to be asked, and have him busily taking notes, so some of it might actually be considered.

In my journaling this morning, I expressed disappointment at my lack of productive activity last night. I puzzled for close to an hour after work; we're working on a challenging one, and I managed to make satisfying progress in several parts of it. Then I watched Hidden Figures which finally came in from my library request many weeks ago. (More in the reading thread.) I haven't been doing much parts work in my journaling for quite a few months, so it was interesting to have some internal push back asking why we can't take a night off without feeling guilty or criticized. That led to an interesting exchange of perspectives, with my goal setting part pointing out that she had only made an observation on how she was feeling (disappointed) without judgement or criticism, and that she wasn't "shoulding" on us, just expressing her deep desire and determination to help us free ourselves from the weight and stagnation of all this unorganized STUFF that's weighing us down and clogging up our environment. And one of my main journaling parts acknowledged that the instinct to protect & defend vulnerable parts from possible attack or attempts at shaming is a noble one, and that such deep sharing, communicating and cooperating is healthy and productive in its own way. I certainly felt motivated to take on chores, interspersed with relaxing, through the day.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/20/17 1:20 A

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Steady rain kept customer numbers pretty light today. So while it was a counter day for me, I got to catch up on a bunch of work--submitting the wage complaint I entered yesterday, working on my collections accounts and getting one released, since I argued $40K was enough for his original premium plus late fees, just because his second payment reached us 3 days after the interest bumped up again. The Lead agent agreed with me, and waived the extra interest. So I emailed the employer to let him know what we had done (to his benefit), and reminded him to not just file the current report, but get the payment to us on time this month, so he wouldn't have to pay extra fees. Got couple of contractor reviews done, and more sales auditor corrections. Oh, and helped conduct the earthquake drill in the building, too!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/19/17 1:36 A

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Productive day at work--finished a wage complaint, did a few contractor reviews, returned one of my last 2 collections accounts (on what appears to be a closed business--they just never closed their acct with us), and picked up more than a dozen new accts. I made contact on the first, spoke to the owner by phone and emailed the accountant. Hope they'll get resolved quickly.

Spent some planning time after work and did a few timer sessions this evening. Did a 12-minute workout, and started a letter to my father to thank him for an equinox check that was a completely unexpected surprise. Feeling overall productive and balanced, which is great!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/16/17 11:26 P

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Yesterday I met my sister in Federal Way (halfway between us) for lunch and to return the 6th Temeraire book she got from her library system, since mine was down to a single copy. I also gave her a little gift of Halloween socks, & she gave me a little kitchen gadget gift. Happy times with our shrimp caesar salads!
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Today I was productive at work. Handled a number of calls, did some sales auditor/fiscal correction duties, reviewed last Monday's contractor packets (6-8, I think), only found 2 with issues needing attention. Also helped one of my collections customers at the counter. She took care of the final reports and minor payments for a closed account, and will bring the new account up-to-date later this week. But I was able to close the collections assignment as "paid in full"--which is always heartening, being considered a success. I released 2 other accounts last week as "pif," but will be returning 6 of my last ones who never responded for legal action. Then I should be getting some new accounts to work on--which I'll keep on top of this time!
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About to sit down to some yummy soup, after which I'll do a few small chores and finish the second Others novel, Murder of Crows. Did one Jessica Smith video already, hope to do her stretching one before bed.
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/15/17 12:27 A

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I did a couple loads of laundry today, (& finished putting it away!), have been doing some cleaning chores, wrote a thank you card to the friend who recommended the fabulous Temeraire series & Uprooted, both by Naomi Novik. I also began rereading Written in Red, the first of the Others series by Anne Bishop. It is so well-written, complex and compelling, that I've almost finished it, though I've taken frequent breaks for a productive task.

Oh, I renewed my Geek Squad membership coverage--the auto renew didn't go through, as that card had to be replaced. I was really glad to finish that. I also ordered some Tupperware midgets off Ebay--my first time on that site. And I'll be ordering coffee tomorrow--it's on sale this weekend. Think I'll mention the sale--free shipping on orders of $25 or more (which is 2# worth) www.flavoredcoffee.com/

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/13/17 1:07 A

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I did stay home today, just resting, resting, resting. I did a few tiny chores, but mostly read--finished the short stories by the Temeraire creator, plus most of her new non-Temeraire fantasy. More details in the reading thread, but while completely different, Uprooted is just as good as the Temeraire books.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/11/17 11:39 P

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I would have stayed home today if not for our once-every-two-months unit meeting. It was a good one with good info and ideas shared, and even some personal sharings. But my energy was up and down, and my voice a wee bit wonky. A kind coworker passed on some tea bags--lemon ginger and cinnamon apple chamomile--yum!
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I finished the last Temeraire book, League of Dragons--so good! Luckily, her just released (Aug 2017) book of short stories had come in and I picked it up from the library. I haven't decided for sure, but will look into whether I can get the series in hardcover, and at what price. I know I will want to read them again, but don't know how often. I don't mind getting books I will read repeatedly, but don't need to do that for every series I like.
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/10/17 11:32 P

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Yeah, we kept trying different approaches to providing coverage and to cut down on the finger pointing and complaints of "he doesn't go to the counter enough" or "I take more calls than her." And just to find time to do all our other tasks--entering wage complaints, reviewing contractor paperwork, reading emails, opening and distributing mail, doing the daily deposit reconciliation, processing refunds, sending out certified legal documents for Collections, processing electrical permit fee dues, and all the rest. So we are divided into 2 groups, A and B, and each group spends 2 days a week covering the counter and 2 on phones--and getting those other tasks done between calls. On counter days, at those times we get caught up, you may also get to do some of the other tasks, but some days, you're up there pretty much all the time you aren't on break. It can be grueling, but it's more fair. Fridays we all pitch in wherever because it's the day more people take off, so the teams can get lopsided.

I'm glad I did my catching up yesterday, cuz the majority of my day was at the counter that I wasn't solving problems that came from a counter customer, or one of my contractor reviews. I thought I was reviewing next week, but I'm on this week, and I haven't finished my last review week yet! So I'm trying to work on those whenever I can. I haven't had the energy or inclination to start job hunting again, but I hope to at least check out what's there. And I have a number of projects I want to work on. But last night was hennaing, and tonight was prepping for tomorrow's "It's Fall, Y'all" potluck after the unit meeting (veggies, crackers & a little Trader Joe's Pumpkin Chai Spice cake). The supervisor is making vegetable beef soup. Don't know what the rest will do. One coworker was thinking a breakfast casserole. Should be interesting.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/10/17 12:50 A

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Completed my last mailed & emailed statements on my collections accounts, and updating the spreadsheet and messages. Even heard back from a bookkeeper who had turned in zero hour reports, but hadn't sent the late reporting fees. She says she'll do that. So I created another tickler to check and see if it's done in the next week. If not, I send that one and others off to start legal actions. So now I'm back working on contractor reviews. It was my day for phones, but we were busy, so stepped up a few times to assist at the counter. Tomorrow's my counter day; I'll see if we are as busy then as the poor A group was today. Got my hair hennaed after work. It's not completely dry, so I'll try and dry it a bit so I don't sleep on it funny. Have a great Tuesday, folks!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/9/17 12:39 A

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Great to hear from you! Glad WW has been working for you, and would love to see you here as well--whatever helps you most feel connected, inspired, motivated, successful.

Good to hear there are positive changes at your job--and that you are looking into positive changes that can bring better pay in time.

Got my hair trimmed today--it was just starting to get in my eyes. Then grocery shopping without benefit of a shopping list, back home for a late nap, up doing chores like prepping supplements, chopping the head of emoticon for salads, cooking up veggie broth from frozen trimmings. In light of heavy snacking, I decided to forgo a big dinner salad, but opt for veggies and dip emoticon & some dessert in a bit. I'm on the last Temeraire book and it's very intense!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/8/17 11:19 P

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Amanda, I genuinely do not understand why you've had such trouble finding another job, because you really are amazing at learning new skills. I'm glad the man you talked to was so positive about your interview and gave good feedback. Still, if the Universe is going to keep you at your current job, I hope the Universe will see fit to give you a raise.

I've been working hard on my job, because there have been some major changes. Unfortunately, how much I get paid isn't one of the changes. So I'm half heartedly looking, and making an appointment to talk to a college counselor so that I can get my teaching credential. And taking the test to be a sub. Not great money, but more than I am making now. Still, the changes where I work have been mostly positive, so I would be sad to leave.

This is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, and I've been posting things on Social media. I feel like I am trying to make people have some inkling of what it's like so they would stop asking "why didn't you just leave?" Actually, the people on my Facebook page really are pretty understanding, but I keep hoping that they will pass the message along.

I'm sorry I haven't been on here awhile. I want to make more effort to get reinvolved on Spark. I must say, though, the Weight watchers diet has been more effective for me, at least until I got under 200, and then everything stalled. But I am starting to get more active, and maybe that will make the difference.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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10/7/17 10:28 P

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I enjoyed my Saturday at work. Didn't get as much done as I had hoped. They needed me for most of the first hour, because they weren't organized & hadn't done proper prep work. Still it was way more than I can accomplish in between customers at the counter and on the phone. Worked on my collection accounts, printing, scanning and mailing statements and overdue reports, updating messages & creating new ones, updating a spreadsheet I started back when I first started getting accounts. My last 3 ran into major problems with closed accounts, nonworking phone number or emails; they may end up being written off as uncollectible. I'll need to put in some more effort to determine their fate. I created ticklers on several delinquent accounts; I gave them a week to report and pay. After that I return the accounts to begin legal proceedings. I also informed the lead I am mostly caught up and can be assigned new accounts again.

I'll be getting a hair trim tomorrow. I was glad to get the reminder call, since hair is starting to get in my eyes, which I don't like. Groceries tomorrow, too, and some relaxing!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/7/17 12:35 A

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Had a good meeting with Tresa, where she once again did a lot of educating and defining--because I would keep asking, rather than pretend understanding. And as I would try to confirm understanding with my own phrases, she would acknowledge I sometimes said things more clearly than the usual jargon or terms used by some financial organizations. She showed me her recommendations at this time, when the market is in a strange place, though we will likely make alterations as things even out a bit more, or get corrected. I'm taking a leap of faith in handing over that large amount, but I have come to trust her judgement, integrity, and her understanding of my needs and desires. As I reiterated to her today, I appreciate her patience and teaching, and that she has not rushed me at all. We first met very early in the year, and have taken small steps, talking things over, to the point where I've been very eager to take the next step and truly begin the work. We've already set our next appointment to review how my accounts are doing, and to learn how I may monitor them.

Our meeting was in downtown Seattle on the 21st floor of a large building, but they validated my parking--saving me $18! Of course, leaving around 3:30, it took me 9 minutes to go one block, because so many people were feeding into a single lane that had to cross several intersections before turning into an onramp for I-5. I made sure our next appointment is in the morning, not the afternoon! And I still may find an alternate route back home.

Today I drove from Seattle to the mall here in Tukwila to Penney's and did some clothes shopping. I got 3 pairs of pants--light grey, dark green, dark wine, one cap-sleeved top in an interesting color and texture, and one very nice long-sleeved top in various colors including dark blue and russet. Only the last item was full price, the rest were at substantial savings, and I was using some gift money plus some of my own, deciding it's okay to spend money on myself.

Temeraire novel #8, Blood of Tyrants, is terribly exciting. We've been in Japan, China, and are now on our way to Russia to meet Napoleon's march. Not planning on a late night, since I'm waking up to an early alarm to be at work at 7:30 (instead of my normal 8:30) before the workshop begins, in case of need.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/6/17 12:36 A

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Since it was my team's day for counters, I'm glad we weren't swamped. I got my Out of Office messages in place for email and phones early. I'm taking tomorrow off to adjust for working Saturday. It's my first Saturday backing up a workshop in several years. The wonderful lady who used to organize them was pushed out when they reorganized. Then they went from 3 each fall to just one a year--and for 2 or 3 years they picked the only weekend I was committed--to my Shafer Ladies Holiday do in southern Washington or Oregon. So they picked an October weekend, and I get to work 8 hours onsite to back them up and help troubleshoot any issues. Mostly I'll be able to work uninterrupted. Can't wait to do bunches of catching up on my Collections accounts and contractor reg reviews. Should I manage all those, I'd work on organizing my cubicle which was never put to rights after our move.

Tomorrow I meet with Tresa to finalize the other half of my investment strategy. Tonight after work I stopped by the bank and withdrew the rest of my CD, so I can write another check for $100K! Then I'll put the rest for now into a saving acct which is getting a better %age than my old CD. Actually I start shopping around to see who is offering what interest on savings, with what fees. Leaving the rest of tomorrow open for now, though I'll need to fill up gas at Costco before heading out.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/5/17 12:50 A

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It was my day covering phones rather than the counter, which means I was able to get more done. Finally got a message out to my Summer Jam team reminding them to take the survey to give their feedback on this year's Jam experience, plus reminding them of the new much lower key non-competitive challenge going on for the rest of the year.

Also got through quite a few of my contractor documents to review--another day completely done, & just a few left of another. I did find a number of errors to either fix or return for correction. (Which is the whole point of reviewing--to catch and correct mistakes--from wrong address to invalid bond dates.) Managed to do a tiny bit of straightening before leaving at 5:30.

Additionally I dealt with equipment repairs for the second day running, made a circuit of the building confirming no fires--due to sprinkler system being turned off--resulting, I believe, from the huge leak from a burst pipe in our mailroom, oh and took part in an active shooter drill--given recent events, we'll be having them more often.

Did an 18-minute workout with increased weights, and am relaxing with Temeraire Book #8, Blood of Tyrants which finds Lawrence shipwrecked in Japan and separated from his dragon. Enjoying a lighter mood today.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/4/17 1:04 A

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I am really worn out--it wasn't a bad day at work, just a tiring one. Then I ran an errand to Target after work for cat food mainly plus a few other items. Then I just relaxed with my Temeraire book. I had some soup for dinner, did a little cleaning, finished book #7 & will head to bed soon.
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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10/3/17 1:16 A

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I finished Temeraire #6 in a day, and have started #7. (More details in the Reading thread.)

We began a new process with industrial insurance checks received over the counter or by mail. We used to write out manual receipts, enter them into an Access spreadsheet, generate reports, update messages about each payment, mail them to a bank lockbox where they would be entered again before finally being deposited. I and others have argued about the extra work & expense & time to post payments & downright inefficiency. It finally hit home, and we are depositing the checks same day, just like cash payments. It's especially important to scan payment info to imaging and reports to a special unit (the one I applied to last) & write the messages. So we got individual tutorials today, and I had a couple customers I got to practice all the steps with today.

It's exciting to be doing something that makes more sense, even while there's a bit of stress in learning a number of new steps. I thanked our lead for the training today, and want to remember to email my thanks to her and our other coworker who trained first & has been helping, while cc'ing our supervisor when I brag on them.

Getting some little things done and caught up at home which feels great. Hoping to keep up the momentum.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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10/1/17 12:58 A

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My sister and I met for a short visit over lunch at our midway point in Federal Way--Panda Express this time. She brought me Temeraire Book #6 which she got from her library. Although my large library system (supposedly the biggest in the country) has multiple copies of all other 8 novels in the series, they only have a single one of #6, and I might have waited weeks or months for it to come in. Since I finished #5 last night, I was thrilled to get the next one in order from my sister today! emoticon emoticon ["I almost had to wait!"] On my way home I stopped by my local library branch where #7 and #8 were waiting for me. I'm not worried about the final volume being available--there are 30 copies of that one!

I had a nice nap in the afternoon, and have done both of Jessica Smith's circuit walks for the upper and lower body, each with weights, for a total of 39 minutes. I've also been doing some sorting and cleaning sessions in between reading sessions. With this being the final day of the 9th month, or the end of the third quarter, I may revive my Third Quarter Challenge thread. Actually I'm thinking of setting some quarterly goals 4 times a year and seeing how that goes. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/29/17 1:29 A

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I was very happy with the phone meeting to get interview feedback. The lead, Chris, said they were very impressed with me, and I was their top candidate for a while (I was their first in 2 days of interviews), but then later candidates were better qualified in terms of collections and bankruptcy and legal experience. But they really liked my personality and positivity and Chris really liked the page I had prepared and left with each of them highlighting my qualities and experience that made me an excellent candidate for the position. (He even said he plans to try that the next time he interviews!) He finally came up with a couple small suggestions where I can improve, and recommended seeing if I can set up some job shadowing of revenue agents in my region or in their Tumwater unit. He acknowledged that there is a fair turnover, since their staff often moves up, and that there would be other opportunities for me to try again. It was all very heartening!

Did 2 workouts again tonight, both Coach Nicole with stability ball, though the leg one had a move that bothered my knees, so I won't do that particular exercise again. Recently read an interesting article in Prevention on the health and emotional benefits of rolling with soft balls or foam rollers to manipulate the fascia. I'd like to check into it some more. Wishing you all a wonderful evening and a great Friday.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/28/17 1:10 A

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Made a determined plan while journaling to catch myself with any spiraling down thoughts today and remind myself to choose joy instead. I didn't Swab as much as I expected to, but somehow setting the intention helped. It was less of a struggle to stay away from heavy thoughts and to maintain more lightness.

I was one of 3 who went to cover the Bellevue office (but I didn't have to drive emoticon ) and it was calm enough for me to catch up with a bunch of my contractor reviews. My last week was 8/21-25, which I barely touched, and I'v got a new one coming up early-mid October. So I need to get my last ones finished! I got through 14 today, from simple adding a new bond to several brand new registrations requiring a lot more proofing and checking for processing errors. (I think that was close to 1-1/2 days' worth of documents to review--we handle a lot of contractors most days).

I'm doing 2 workout routines tonight, as I have several times lately. Last night I put a link for a new routine I tried in the resources thread.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/27/17 1:05 A

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I've been talking to myself & really focusing on staying as positive as I can at work the last 2 days. But at day's end, and coming home, the discontent has hit pretty heavily. I've self-soothed with a snack and some Temeraire reading, calming enough to apply myself to some cleaning, or sorting, or tonight money tracking, as well as a couple of exercise routines. So I'm making some progress and cultivating positive habits, even while I'm struggling a bit emotionally. In truth, I'm proud of that.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/26/17 12:58 A

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Busy day at work. I called the Revenue lead, and got an email back after lunch apologizing for the late reply since he had just started work. He proposed a Thursday phone meeting, so he could review his notes and give me more meaningful feedback. I accepted the meeting invitation and thanked him. I'll be interested to hear what he has to say, and try to get a sense of whether it will be worth my while to try again.

I was the one giving feedback in a survey on this year's Summer Jam. I think they do a great job, but I had several suggestions for improvements. I did point out that participating in Summer Jam did not make me more productive (as healthy habits are hoped to do), because I put so much time and effort into my captain duties that my other responsibilities suffered. Having all volunteer wellness coordinators and team captains with no dedicated time puts a real strain on those of us who are already overworked. I mentioned this can lead to frustration and disappointment, as I can never do as much as I would like to in promoting various aspects of Wellness among staff.

I'm trying to get more serious with organizing efforts, and spent a few minutes after work cleaning my desktop, and a timer session with mail at home. I had hoped for another timer session, but I did 2 short workout routines, and I really want to finish Temeraire Book 4 tonight!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/25/17 1:40 A

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Sister came up this morning & we headed out to Costco not long after it opened. She picked up the glasses whose frames I helped her pick out a little while back, while I got a few groceries. Then we had an early lunch so she could return home in time to watch her Seahawks. I did more grocery shopping, then took a lovely nap.

Since waking, I've been putting away food, finishing a letter to mail, doing some cleaning & food prep, did a couple Coach Nicole workouts, plus a longer Jessica Smith one in the morning. And of course reading in between. I just finished a thrilling section of the 4th Temeraire novel, Empire of Ivory, which takes place primarily in Africa. These books are so incredibly good!

I may take a break from job hunting, just because it's exhausting and for several years now has been unsuccessful. I may stop looking at my own agency at all, and focus on colleges and the county--which pays better. I'm just so very tired of trying and trying with nothing to show for it. But at the same time, I know I'm worth more than I'm making, which is not an easy place to be while maintaining my equanimity.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/24/17 1:09 A

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I had a delightful day, meeting up with my local Spark Friend, Cheryl, and going for a drive out I-90 (which I had never been on) to Snoqualmie (a cute town) and the Snoqualmie Falls. With our dry summer, they weren't as full as normal, but I enjoyed them and the little gift shop where I found some nice dangling abalone earrings. I'm hoping I can tempt my sister to visit there, as I'd enjoy doing a bit more shopping.

Then we returned to our area & I treated her to lunch for over and beyond cat sitting last month. She suggested a little sandwich shop (actually a bakery) in nearby Burien--not far from my Trader Joe's--which I also hope to introduce my sister to. We didn't walk a lot, but I did enjoy a nap after getting home.

Finished the 3rd Temeraire dragon novel, and have just started #4. I'm doing some timer sessions sorting through old mail--long overdue, and running into a few surprises. Hoping to get onto a regular schedule again. Looking forward to seeing Mary briefly tomorrow, then doing the weekend grocery run; we'll see if laundry gets done this weekend or put off until the next one.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/23/17 1:43 A

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The offsite was good--I have a little constructive feedback to offer, but mostly I was impressed. It's looking very much like Region 1--our competition in Summer Jam--has an insurmountable lead. The other piece of sad news is I heard today that I'm not moving forward in my bid for a Revenue Agent ! opening. I emailed the lead to see if I can call and get feedback on Monday

The big success today was getting my printer purchased--had a wonderful sales lady at Best Buy who is assigned to cell phones, but used to work in printers, and after a hesitation (I guess they aren't "supposed to" cross departments) showed me some totally appropriate options--more basic than my last one that had features and capabilities I never used or needed. I was very proud that I managed to get it up and running and connected to my wireless network. I have a few print jobs under my belt, and will next look into setting up scanning--something I never figured out on the old one. I also made the effort to give kudos to my helpful saleswoman.

I've got a walk & lunch planned with my local Spark Friend & sometime cat sitter. Then made plans with sister to come up and pick up her glasses that came in to my Costco where I helped her choose flattering frames. I learned she's about a third through the first Temeraire book--it's cool we can share the delights of another well-written book series!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/20/17 11:24 P

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Had a couple of unpleasant shocks in Summer Jam land today. We began over 20,000 average steps ahead of closest Region 1, then I saw we were 600 steps down! Sent out an appeal to catch up tracking. A coworker came by & said she put in her final activities and we were ~3000 steps in the lead, but when I last checked, we were 20,000 down! I don't know if we have enough people with activities left to track who will actually do their logging in the next 2 days (Friday is the cutoff), to pull out a win. But I know I've done a really good job of encouraging the team and keeping them updated & reminding them of what needs to be done, even sending links for workout routines from Spark People and Jessica Smith.

Tomorrow is our first Customer Service offsite for the region in several years. Region 1 had theirs last Friday when I helped cover the Everett office. Another early start, but at least I'll be a passenger doing to Bellevue instead of the driver! And I'm taking Friday off to replace my printer, and to observe the Equinox. Haven't checked to see if I can get a massage appt that day, but may try for one.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/19/17 11:34 P

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I made it--I was our 16th million stepper out of 87, with only 4 players less than 100,000. We passed another milestone today. I had noticed that while our Region 2 and our closest competitor Region 1 have both had averages above 400,000 since last week, none of the Tumwater (headquarter) teams (in a separate league) reached that level until this Monday. So today I checked late in the morning and sent out an email at 11:58 asking if we could reach 500,000 average steps; we were just 104 steps away. Naturally I used that to invite all who hadn't reported their final week or weekend to do so. When I got back to my Tukwila office and logged in after lunch, I saw an email sent at 12:02 from a teammate saying she just checked and we were over the half-million mark! By the time I looked, we were over 503,000 average steps per person!

I had included the Tumwater Wellness folks on my message, and had to share this with the team: The Wellness Program Manager for the agency replied, "Hey Amanda this is wonderful! Great coaching :o) According to my calculations, 500,000 steps is about 256 miles per person wow!"

All in all, very satisfying. But I'm so relieved that the tracking frenzy is over for me, and I'm not wandering around the apartment morning and night with a timer counting all the housework minutes so I can total and track them.

I had another early day with driving: Up a half hour early, at work 45 minutes early to pick up a coworker and drive to Bellevue to cover their front counter and phones while they had their unit meeting. Before it has taken up to an hour and a half to go 15 miles, but we were a carpool, so it took less than an hour! She stayed to get a ride home with her dad (we passed him as we tootled down the HOV lane), but the traffic wasn't nearly as bad leaving just after 12. Still, that's 3 early days and long drives in the past week, and I'm pooped! Our offsite Thursday got moved to Bellevue (they double-booked the facility we had planned to use), but I'm going to beg to ride with somebody else! I just need to get my mileage requests in soon.

I'm hoping with a more normal day tomorrow that I'll have the energy to do a workout or 2 after work. At least I have a fantastically entertaining book to read--Temeraire #2, Throne of Jade, where they travel by ship to China, the land from whence the dragon egg came. I can't wait for someone else to read these, so we can discuss the wonderful characters and stories!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/17/17 11:24 P

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I was just thinking last night it's about time to bring out the long jammie bottoms instead of the knit shorts or the cotton nightie for the really hot nights. Also put the a/c unit back in the corner under it's plastic cover, with the power cord stored inside and the big hose all compressed and out of the window.

If I've done my weekend figuring correctly, the 2 workouts I just did for 30 minutes (Jessica Smith for 18 and Coach Nicole for 12) worth 6000 steps (moderate intensity activities get minutes multiplied by a factor of 2, extreme/vigorous activity,like a few minutes in an intervals routine, multiplied by 3), should put me over that Summer Jam milestone of 1 million steps. I also have walking steps and housework (light activity) to report today. I didn't think I would reach this high, but if I done my calculations correctly, I should get there when I log everything tomorrow. Then we'll see how everyone else does.

Yesterday I got some major housework minutes with recapturing 2 kitchen OOs and scrubbing the (small) kitchen floor. It looks so nice going in there now! I still have Summer Jam captain duties this week, but then it will be done, and I will be thrilled to have that off my plate so I can concentrate on catching up in other areas. So happy the Temeraire dragon series has 8 books in it, which will keep me busy for awhile! (See Reading thread for review.)

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/16/17 9:51 P

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Amy I think you would be an amazing and valuable advocate, with your experience and compassion. And I'm glad you had specific recommendations for OverdueChange--again, your experience can help others. Oh, and the team is our regional team at work--this is the final week of our 6-week Summer Jam fitness challenge (the 10th annual) and our region (of which I'm the primary "co"-captain) has a very good chance of repeating last year's first time win in the regional league.

I slept in this morning and felt gloriously rested. Did laundry, then did a Costco run for a few groceries and a gas fill up. I've been driving more than usual, but will get paid mileage for yesterday's 70-mile round trip to Everett. (Between 1 and 1.5 hours to go 35 miles isn't as bad as the same time to go to or from Bellevue which is only 15 miles away!) And I'm driving down to Lakewood, just south of Tacoma for the first play of the new season--Wait Until Dark!

Dropped by the office briefly to return dishes I took for lunch Friday, to pick up my supplements which I forgot, and to check my Summer Jam steps which I had forgotten to write down. I'm hoping to manage to reach the million step mark myself, which will be a stretch, especially with several hours tomorrow devoted to our play. I've done 3 workouts today and quite a lot of housework (even those light activity minutes add up!)

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 9/17/2017 (01:37)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,366
9/16/17 1:45 A

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Thanks for your kind words ladies. I'm doing so much better after talking with others in the community. Now I'm thinking about taking the training to become an advocate for DV victims.

Amanda, does the step challenge team work? I've been trying to get more steps in, though the wristband on my tracker is broken, so I'd like to replace that. Do you have any recommendations?

I'm so glad this interview felt so good. You really deserve something good.

OVERDUECHANGE, I'm glad you got a GAL (I'm guessing that's like California's child mediators). Fingers crossed they are trained to see through cluster B personalities. If there is anything I have learned from my own court battles is 1. If at all possible, don't let yourself get talked into meeting the GAL with your ex present, he'll just push your buttons to make you look as though you are being unreasonable. If you can't avoid this, take your time, take a deep breath, and do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument. Also, don't worry about letting them see your tears, as long as you don't completely lose it. It is, after all, an emotional issue.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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9/15/17 11:55 P

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Oh, Amy! emoticon My heart goes out to you, the family, the friends, and the community. There is no right way to feel or react. I hope you will give yourself extra compassion and nurturing.

Overdue, so glad to hear about the positive developments!

I'm really tired tonight. The trip back wasn't as bad as I feared: close to an hour and a half, rather than 2 hours. And the trip up was less than the 1.5 hours I had planned on, so I got in early enough to get settled. Working another office where they do things differently and everything is in a different spot, and the computers don't have the same shortcuts you use often, is a challenge. But I helped a number of customers at the counter, plus a few on the phone. And with the office up 2 flights of stairs, I got in extra steps. First break I hightailed it over to Bigfoot Java to time how long it took me, then I returned to get a latte at lunch. Went walking down a residential street during my afternoon break; along with all the stair climbing, I got 50 minutes of moderate activity, worth 10,000 steps for Summer Jam.

We got our 11th million stepper (out of a team of 87) today, and I know there's one more person (just 8000 steps away) who will join them. I'm in the 900,000s (maybe 931K?); I might possibly make it with what I earn for today and this weekend, with Sunday being the final day. We are holding onto our lead which is substantial, but not huge. No telling what the final week of tracking (especially by players on either team who may have been on vacation) will bring. 9/25 is the last day to enter activities.

I sent a reminder email and update out today. Now it's up to all the team members. It's been fun, but a lot of work and effort. Though I've received some really nice feedback from team members. I got up an hour early today, and half an hour early on Wed & Thur; I'm looking forward to an early night tonight!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/15/17 9:55 A
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Blessedbeing, Yay on the good CostCo route. ;) Hope they don't keep you waiting too long before you hear back on something.

Salam, ~HUGS~ What a hurricane of emotions. I'm so sorry for that family and for the community enduring a tragedy. And the 'never saw it coming, they seemed like such a nice family', etc... echo echo echo. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors... sometimes not even the people behind those closed doors.
Try to take care of you in the best way possible as you sort through it. (and good for resisting the initial urge to numb with food.)

I'm feeling better every day.
My little guy finally has a GAL to advocate for him. But, I just worry that I won't be able to get across to her how fearful we've been over the years. The past 6 months he has taken to temper his usual behaviors, and the sudden overparenting and keeping our son by his side nearly 24/7... plus the last 18 months where I've been home and can protect them in person has only kept his anger pointed at me and not at them.

Now I'm thin and strong and confident and don't look like the broken down person I was for so many years.
Throughout my life, I had been exposed to abuse in some form and am pretty deadpan and stoic because I never had the luxury of being anything else...
Even when I met with the guardian last week I was able to hold back my tears most of the time... is that bad? Who knows. She's a professional and I have to trust to the process because I have no other choice.

BUT two things have made a world of difference to me.
1. I leased a car, so I no longer have the constant strain of trying to coordinate appointments with someone. THAT right there, no longer feeling trapped, no longer having to debate for weeks about when to approach him when I need to do something and hoping it doesn't turn into twisted argument central.
2. I moved my office into my bedroom. I never wanted to share an office with my ex. He insisted from the beginning that we had to and there's no reason not to, etc. (then he denied interrupting me when I asked him not to... so I counted it and he interrupted me 26 times in one six hour day we spent in there today... but, yeah, I'm making it all up.)

Those two ways of reclaiming my autonomy have made me feel like a completely different person. My brain suddenly has soooo much more bandwidth, now that I'm not constantly fighting the urge to not look over at him when he makes noise, because that can be a trigger for setting him off (aggressive chin-jutting or cussing and yelling... or nothing, because he likes to make me feel crazy).

Not all those who wander are lost


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9/15/17 12:50 A

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It's been a long time since I've visited this team, and I apologize for that, but something has come up that made me need to post with people who can understand.

There was a domestic violence crime in my small town, a man tried to kill his wife and then killed his 3 children. He was caught and arrested, but... There are all these reports of how no one saw this coming, they seemed like such a nice family, the neighbors in the apartment never heard any noise coming from their home, etc.

This hits really close to my own experience. I left after my ex began threatening that if I tried to leave he would kill my children and himself so that I would be left alone.

Although we didn't know this family, we live in a small enough town that we had seen each other in passing, and I have been introduced to the mother of the family. The older sister of one of my students was the best friend of the child that was killed, and spent a few minutes crying on my shoulder today. So I took my kids to the candlelight vigil at the school, and we left flowers. I volunteered to pass out information sheets for our local DV agency (they didn't need me, but I offered). It wasn't much, and it may not have been my place, but I wanted to show some support, since there but for the Grace of Goddess go I.

Yet I am still feeling numb and disconnected, the way that I felt back when I was in it. I want to feel angry or sad, or even relief that it wasn't me, but mostly I just don't feel anything, I've made a lot of progress in healing, but this has me wanting to deal with it by sitting down with a tub of frosting and a spoon. I didn't, but I want to.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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9/15/17 12:41 A

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Went in late to adjust for all the extra time driving to and back from the Everett office-on the other side of Seattle in commute traffic on a Friday! I'm expecting about 3.5 hours round trip. That region is having it's Customer Service Program offsite all day, so some of us are covering. At least I'm only driving to Everett and not Mount Vernon, as are 2 coworkers! Too in my acting up printer and it turns out it's kaput--or a sensor is, which would be too costly to repair, so time to replace. Ouch!

Just rewatched Arrival which came in at the Library after several weeks. Just sorry there were no special features or commentary, as it was such a rich and amazing story. I recommend the DVD if you didn't see it in the theater--and even if you did--though it doesn't translate fully to a small screen.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/14/17 12:11 A

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Thanks!

I got up half an hour early, did a quick journal session while drinking my morning coffee--no pleasure reading between the Structure and Nurture sections today, as I sometimes do. Got ready, put apple slices in one container, Canadian bacon slices in another, and got on the road about 7:10--and went to work, where I printed those pages out that I couldn't get done at home last night. Hopped on the freeway about 7:25 and made good time, getting down in an hour.

Ran inside and used the restroom, then took a walk while I ate my breakfast. Signed in at least half an hour before my interview time, but learned the person scheduled before me was a no show. I did have time to review the job announcement, my cover letter and my 'why choose me' page before they came to get me a little early. (I actually titled it Why I am an excellent candidate for the position of Revenue Agent 1, and had 10 bullet points highlighting experience and talents I bring.)

Just 2 fellows, including the lead who would be training me. In my thank you emails I sent tonight, I mentioned it was an enjoyable interview, as they were very engaging and easy to talk to. I think I did a good job highlighting my strengths as I answered the questions. I may have gone into more detail than I needed sometimes, but I was enthusiastic and positive and kept emphasizing all I could bring to the job. They seemed pretty impressed. The supervisor is out this week, so won't decide on who will go to the second interview round for a week or 2. So keeping my fingers crossed!

I forgot I had to get gas, and drove right over to the two adjacent apartment complexes I've looked at before as possible places to live in Tumwater. They are on a hill with covered carports & a washer & dryer in the units!! 2 of the things I really miss here! Found what was coming up in October and what the prices are. I'll check some other places, but it was a good starting point. And I learned how to get over to the Costco pretty close to the new job without getting back on the freeway. Got my gas, tried my first Honey Bucket "suite" in a trailer [inside restrooms under construction]--nice! Then drove back in not bad traffic, again taking just an hour. Had lunch at home, read as I finished my coffee, then went to work for 4 hours.

I got my wage claim submitted on day 3 (the target) and did the prize winner pick for week 5 of Summer Jam. It only goes through Sunday, and the team is still going strong! I highlighted our *9* million steppers, and 5 more in the 900,000s who may well join them. I also sent an email to those 5 thanking them for their efforts and cheering them on in hopes more will reach that impressive milestone. I also mentioned their co-captains (me and a new fellow who hasn't had to do much) are only in the 800,000s. One of the 5 replied thanking me for all my work and encouragement, and making it fun! That was very cool.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/13/17 10:26 A
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Good luck!!!

Not all those who wander are lost


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9/13/17 12:48 A

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Dang! I got my references all polished, and a summary of my qualifications to hand in at tomorrow's interview--and my printer stopped working. So I've sent the two documents to my work email, and will have to go in at 7 tomorrow and print them there to take down with me for my 9:15 interview in Tumwater.
emoticon
Still, I feel pretty ready. I'll pack my bag tonight and try to get to bed soon, as I'll be setting an earlier alarm. Wish me luck!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/12/17 12:39 A

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Fighting not to get sucked into negative thinking. Folks from central office came for a report out regarding yearly employee surveys--what they've been working on, changes in the upcoming surveys. They entertained questions and comments--and I shared several, giving voice to some of the frustrations we face. I want to be preparing for Wednesday's interview, but I've hit an energy wall. I did a couple bootcamp workouts--17 minutes--here at home, and sent 2 Summer Jam updates, early and late to the team at work. All I want to do is read a little and go to bed. I'm good with feedback--in fact I emailed several positives from the meeting to one of the organizers. I think what's bothering me most is my manager's bragging about how many people have promoted out of Customer Service since he's been manager (after I had spoken of how frustrating it is to try to get out on your own, into a decent paying position with very little support), when he never acknowledges that the great majority of those were bilingual staff. If you speak and write another language, you can often promote out within 1-3 years, while the monolinguals are usually stuck for years in the same position, more often quitting or retiring than promoting out.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/11/17 1:33 A

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Smaller chores today--hennaed my hair & did the weekly grocery run to Safeway and Trader Joe's.

Oh, I took time to contact my bank to report a suspicious email claiming to be from the bank "Tech Support" needed to verify information. The overall look to the message was similar, but there were odd capital letters and commas where periods belonged. And I knew a bank would never email for account information. So I didn't click the "Start Here" button (that actually looked a lot like the one on the survey I took for the bank just the day before). And the kicker was that when I hovered over the sender in my email listing, a totally different email came up: a name @ carolina.rr.com. The person I spoke to with fraud reporting asked if I could forward the email to them. When I did that, the real email appeared, also. Hope others don't fall for the scam, and that my actions may help catch a crook.

I got in a nap after groceries, and did an interval cardio workout this morning, then Coach Nicole's 12-minute seated core workout this evening. Finished book 2 in Nora's Circle trilogy, and started book 3. Picked up a book and DVD at the library on the way home from shopping. Have a great Monday, everyone!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/10/17 12:07 A

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The play continued today with my helping sister choose eyeglass frames at Costco (2 pair for different prescriptions) which she then ordered while I picked up a few groceries. Then on the way home, she picked up lunch to go at QDoba--yummy salad bowls with fire roasted shrimp! It's been a weekend full of delightful celebration with many fun activities. We didn't spend a lot, but what we did was appreciated. I'm glad she had clued me in on a favorite toiletry she was near out of; I had a pretty little gift and cards to share, knowing it was something she wanted and would use. (As much as we both struggle with clutter, I really don't like giving gifts likely to sit around, collect dust and get in the way!)

In addition to games (Boggle and Blink today), we spent some time online reviewing some book series we each plan to check out based on 6-Pack recommendations. I'm going to be trying Naomi Novik's alternate history/fantasy series about dragons during the Napoleonic Wars, while she checks out some of E.D. Baker's children's fantasy books including the Frog Princess. Look for reviews in the What are you reading thread!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/9/17 1:29 A

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Had a wonderful play day with my sister. It was her last Friday off for the summer term-at the community college where she works, they work 4-tens during the summer with Fridays off--and I took a day of leave. She got here a little after mid morning, we went to the mall, ate at Panda Express, then went upstairs and saw the Reese Witherspoon comedy Home Again. Unusual & kind of sweet. Saw some great previews (I don't watch TV, so never know what's coming out), and look forward to Marshall (about Thurgood early in his law career) in October and Jumanji in December.

Then we went down to the big Penney's women's section and shopped for tops for her. She had $100 birthday money to spend, and we decided on 4 tops (tried on around 2 dozen). With 3 on sale they came out to $93 and change! Came home & talked while I made and drank my afternoon coffee, then played games. Did an early dinner of Taco Bell Power Bowls (we like those!) plus a taco each, which we brought home and ate while we watched my DV of Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo (?) in Just Like Heaven, a favorite of mine. She didn't remember much about it, and thoroughly enjoyed it. More games, then she went to bed (she's staying over) and I'm finally Sparking.

We both totally enjoyed a light-hearted and laid back celebration with no pressure. Then tomorrow we're going to Costco and I'll help her pick out new eyeglass frames. I'm her designated fashion consultant, a role I enjoy playing! And we'll each still have most of our weekend for chores, plus some relaxing. Win-wins all the way around!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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9/7/17 10:54 P

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Oh, my. Sounds like you are taking positive steps. Because of his resistance, they may seem to be coming excruciatingly slowly--but they are coming. Keep acknowledging your amazing strength and persistence. He may hope he can wear you down so you'll give in or give up. I can only encourage you to keep reminding yourself of all you've done and all you deserve, and just keep on doing the next thing--and then bragging to us about your accomplishments and venting when you need to release.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Today was hectic as it was my day to work the counter, plus I needed to finish entering my wage claim to make the 3 day submission target. Luckily I learned I could get it submitted without attaching all the documents. This is another of the claims for back pay from a municipal mandated change in the minimum wage that was appealed. So employees are turning in 20 months of weekly pay records. Every page has to be date stamped and stamped "received with claim." Then they all have to scanned and attached electronically to the complaint. I divided mine into two halves, the first was 88 pages; the stack was too tall to fit in the document feeder. I'm just glad I was able to attach it, after lowering the resolution. They must have increased capacity, as we used to be forced to scan in many small groups in order to successfully attach large groups of documents. I had a contractor that took me until a little past 5, then had to help close everything down, then do my out-of-office, and a final message to Summer Jammers, since I'm off playing with sister tomorrow as a belated birthday celebration for her. Whee!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 9/8/2017 (00:47)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 147.0 
 
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9/7/17 4:12 P
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aaaaaaaaand he does not do well with change.

he waited a few hours before knocking on the door to come in then ordered me not to touch his 'tabletop'... which I take to mean his nightstand... you know, the one next to the bed he doesn't sleep in.

Then, cause I'd so heinously taken my shoes off on HIS side of the bed, he threw them onto the floor immediately behind me.

I called him out on it. He accused me of lying and saying he'd set them down.
Seriously dullwitted that one... like just because my phone is in my pocket or bra it can't be recording?

But, my heartrate went from 90 (I'm stressed today because I dared make two changes in mr. no change's world) to 130 in a split second.

He stayed another half hour, shaving, but, I wasn't going to run out of my own bedroom, letting him intimidate me further. (why he can't shave in his own bathroom? I don't know. he finally started brushing his teeth down there a week or two ago.)

Not all those who wander are lost


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9/7/17 12:25 P
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Okay, so to reduce stress and time spent worrying instead of working... 1. I leased a car, so I can make appointments when and where I need to without having to speak to him about it while sharing a car. 2. I moved my office to my bedroom. I wanted to work in a different room than him before I even got this job and he insisted we could work fine together... and like everything else I let him bully me into it so I didn't have to justify argue defend and explain why not.

Locked door between me and him instead of him between me and the door. It's like a physical weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Not all those who wander are lost


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9/6/17 12:45 P
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Productivity issues are from stress. I have a very flexible work schedule, being IT working from home, when I work isn't an issue.
Now that we've ticked off all the boxes, we filed the formal request to get him out, and forced to look for a job and the lawyer even put in that he has to wear a suit and tie to interviews and report about how many job applications that he puts in (two things I could never get from him when he was 'looking' for work... he'd apply to like 3 jobs a year and show up in shorts with his hair all scraggly).

Congrats on the upcoming interview! Good luck.

Not all those who wander are lost


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