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12/21/14 11:59 P

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Feeling kind of lonely, talking to myself here. Wishing all my SAssy sisters well tonight on the Solstice.

As I posted on the wall: Celebrate the Solstice: Release all that weighs you down & blocks your path to freedom & the light. Happy Yule!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (97,815)
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12/20/14 9:51 P

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Had a lovely visit with the aunties, but I'm exhausted and will be crawling into bed after checking with my teams--well before 8 pm! I'm guessing last week was more stressful than I realized, what with dental stuff coming up, holiday tasks, Mary (at work) leaving, and then the driving today in sometimes heavy rain--which I don't enjoy.

Take care all, and have an enjoyable and successful weekend--however you measure it!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/20/14 12:27 A

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The party was well-attended. We in the front office, of course, could only get away for short periods to help set up or get food, since we're covering the counter at all times. But one or two people covered while the rest ran over to load plates or spend a little time there.

It was bittersweet--so happy for Mary to have a well-deserved rest after so many years of giving so much. But sad knowing how we'll miss her personally, and her vast store of knowledge. And while I mentioned it a few times, I don't know how much of her expertise or training has been passed on. It will be interesting bumbling along without her.

I'm so tired tonight. Will spark a wee bit more then read and hit the old hay! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/19/14 12:04 A

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I'm feeling good about getting ready for Mary's last day at work. She's the only person who's been in our unit longer than I have--by a few years, so she trained me, and has always been helpful. I have her Christmas gift and card and a thank you/happy retirement card in a little gift bag.

For the potluck, I've prepped the cauliflower & celery. Red, orange, & yellow peppers plus a cucumber will be next. If I run out of steam tonight, I'll finish tomorrow. I also checked the schedule to make sure nobody has all next week off, so I can bring cards and gifts for the rest of the unit on Monday.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/17/14 11:14 P

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My dad used to yank out our lose teeth with pliers, so I preferred wiggling it and seeing if I could get it to come out without resorting to metal tools in my mouth!

Man, that's low for an adult to take money from a kid's bank--you are well shot of him. And thanks for your take on insurance. I'd really try and check them out and voice my concerns--I want to do work that feels good and adds positive energy.

Wishing you success and joy in the days ahead.

I got my California cards in the mail. I've addressed the Oregon ones, will start signing and adding stamps and stickers soon here.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
12/17/14 1:36 P

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Hi Amanda,

I had to go to the ATM because I have gotten in the habit of not having cash in the house...my ex used to take it if I did, even broke into the kids banks to get it! Teeth aren't really much ($1 and a new toothbrush for front teeth, $5 and dental floss for molars) but my daughter had pulled her tooth in hopes of being able to shop for Christmas. (Ugh. The thought makes me shudder, but she seems to think as long as it doesn't hurt, it's okay.)

I don't blame you for not putting out any apps. I was unemployed for a very long time, and I know how extremely demoralizing it can be. I really do not recommend working in insurance unless you get into property insurance, though. I worked in life insurance for awhile and I ended up feeling like a sleazeball every time I had to do the sales pitch. I believe life insurance is necessary, but the way it is sold is very manipulative. If you decide to look into it, go with a reputable company that you recognize, and check for websites where former employees complain. If there are a lot, run for the hills! This is, of course, just my opinion, but if my experience prevents others from being taken advantage of, then it's worth sharing my opinion. That said, the companies that are legit really are great to work for, and it can be very rewarding.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/16/14 11:17 P

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Thanks for letting us know, Wispy. Be well, and enjoy your holidays, however you spend them!
emoticon
Amy, I get you on the kids! My first year of teaching--5th grade in an inner city school was the toughest year of my life. I was much happier going down to 3rd--an age I enjoyed quite a bit. If you're going to the ATM on the Tooth Fairy's behalf, the price of a tooth has gone WAY up in the last--well, 50-plus years: we got a dime a tooth! Give yourself a break, my dear--you can do what you can do. (And maybe keep an emergency fund for just that purpose, until all the baby teeth are out!)

I had scheduled an eye exam for today at the same time I scheduled last Friday's appt with my doctor. The other appt was fine, but this one got lost on the computer, and when I went to check in, they didn't have me down. I asked to reschedule before the year was out (and the deductible paid). She offered me the day before or after Christmas, but I'm afraid we may end up with "sick" coworkers who didn't get leave approved, calling in. So I asked for the next week, and have an appt for 12/30. I checked a few minutes ago, and it's on my upcoming appts list. I'll check a few more times, to make sure nothing happens!

Met the new supervisor, but don't have a sense of her yet. I wish her well, & we'll all be learning together. I worry some that there has been too little planning for others to take over all Mary does, but I've made a couple suggestions, and it's up to them to look ahead.

I may not put any more apps in for awhile--unless something good pops up. And I may reply to some private business queries based on my online resume. I'm just not sure I have any interest in working for an insurance company--which mainly seems to be who likes my resume!

And thanks for the candle and good wishes, Amy! Much appreciated! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
12/16/14 10:21 P

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Hi guys,'

Amanda, you have been on my mind a lot, probably because Yule is coming up. During the next new moon, I will light a candle towards you finding a great job.

Wispy, with the holidays around you must be busy, so Happy Holidays to you, as well!

I had a single parenting fail the other day when my daughter pulled out her loose tooth right before bedtime, and the tooth fairy didn't come because it was too late for me to go to the ATM. It wasn't the first time that the tooth fairy hasn't been on time. She slept through a few nights. My daughter let me know she is really mad at the tooth fairy.

Today, instead of being with my preschoolers, I had to substitute in 5th grade. It completely reinforced for me why I am in Preschool. 3 year olds may not share, they may hit and whine and have potty accidents, but at least they aren't pre-teens!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/16/14 2:53 A

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You caught me, meeting not metting. :)

An EA one. I go to two a week.

Hey guys I just want to wish you all a great holiday season. I may not be round much in the next few weeks. You will be in my thoughts.

Love Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/16/14 12:29 A

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What kind of meeting?

I got the first 4 cards into the mail. 2 more further away than California (2 states south); I'll try to get those ready tonight. I submitted another application--this one not for a job I expect to get, but to introduce myself in case they have openings for a support person, rather than an experienced program manager like the current position. This is the final week with our current supervisor, and tomorrow begins the new hire. It's going to be interesting!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/15/14 6:58 P

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Good today. Just dashing off to a metting.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/14/14 11:56 P

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Had a nice workout at the gym, mostly weight machines for strength training, plus a short time on the elliptical machine. Got groceries, including what I'll need for the retirement potluck for our dear Mary at work.

Made sure I had enough holiday cards to send out this year, and give at work. I'm using up odds and ends from various boxes. I made a list grouping the addresses by how far away they are, so I'll send the furthest ones (APO, HI, TN, LA, IL, ND) first, then the CAs, followed by the ORs, and finally the WAs. I'm enjoying adding stickers and making envelopes and letters festive, as well as the cards.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/14/14 4:33 P

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Yes, I agree. The more we can fill our minds with thoughts and people that inspire us, the more easy it is to find what we need when we want it. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/14/14 12:51 A

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I like it! It's kind of like the quotes I often say when I'm walking on my breaks at work. The more I say my affirmations when I'm calm, the more likely I am to remember them when I really need them!
emoticon

An easy, catch up day for chores, cleaning, and little holiday tasks. Even took a nap. Very nice to have a relaxing day.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/13/14 4:57 P

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So agree with you Amanda. At one time I used to write down sayings and quotes that brought me back to a place of peace and haven't done it for a long while.

Have decided I will start again. So many I tend to forget. I like the idea of having my own favourite quotes book. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/13/14 12:04 A

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emoticon you were having a blue day, Wispy, and glad you have a resource that helped you reach a better place. It's so wonderful to have tools to turn to when things aren't going well.

I finished getting the last 2 packages ready this morning, and got away early enough for my doctor's appt that I scooted over to the post office--which didn't have too long a line--and got my 5 small-to-medium packages mailed off before it was time for my appt.

The doctor was late getting to me, but didn't rush, and answered all my questions about minor issues. She wrote it all up, which will be nice, including some hand exercises for pain in the left thumb joint.

At the end of the work day, I got some of my decorations up, so my work area is finally looking festive. Will work on holiday letter and cards this weekend.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/12/14 4:45 P

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I woke feeling low and sad.
I read words from the Budha that I love and now I feel at peace.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/12/14 12:12 A

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Busy wrapping gifts to mail tomorrow--no real time to Spark. Be well, my friends! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/11/14 5:27 P

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Good going Amy. A personal trainer - if only for the week sounds great. I am not really up in martial arts but delighted that you are doing something like that. Very helpful for increasing our feelings of security in knowing that we can take care of ourselves physically.

Sorry Amanda that you did not get the job. But good feedback and also help with improving the application sounds very positive. You sure have been putting yourself out there this year on the job front. Something that is of more interest to you in the health and wellness industry would be wonderful.

Im just off to do my walk as the showers seem to have stopped.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/11/14 1:52 A

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A personal martial arts training session-- emoticon Amy!

Well I did hear today from the manager who was back, that I didn't get the job. He said I did well on my interview, mentioned a couple areas where I can improve, and noted there was stiff competition, though I impressed the panel with my preparation and presentation.

I'm disappointed, but not surprised. I'm ready to leave: not in a huff, but because I just want to grow and do more and find a place where I'll be more appreciated and better tended, and not feel like I have to do everything on my own, because nobody cares what happens to me. So I submitted another application tonight, and will start on another this weekend. I may start looking again outside the state system. Or I might break for a little while, just because I'm kind of tired of looking so hard and putting myself out there so much, with little to show.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
12/11/14 1:24 A

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Wispy, I'm glad you are feeling better. Traveling is something I used to want to do, but didn't have the money. Now that I am older I still think about it, but I don't enjoy the actual process of traveling. Still, I'll get to Scotland or Istanbul at some point, I hope.

Amanda, I hope you hear about something soon. It's hard to remain in a soul sucking job when you are working so hard to find something else. Right now the administration at my school makes me want to do the same thing. I get very tired of having to defend our preschool program. Admin just doesn't seem to get that 4 and 4 year olds learn differently that older kids, and that it's just not possible for them to sit still for hours at a time. Oh well, maybe soon.

I was the only student at my Jiu Jitsu class last night, so the sensei worked me hard. I hurt from head to toe, but it was fun! I'm going to test for my yellow belt soon.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/10/14 4:42 P

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Thanks Amy. I fancy the heavy metal guitar. I could join the drummer up the road and we could give the street a run for their money.

I did learn guitar when I was in my thirties, but have no voice to sing along with it and not the inclination (or at least dedication) to learn classic guitar, although I do love to listen to it.

Wishing you all the very best for 18th. I think waiting is always the worst part of any thing I am not really looking forward to. Once it comes I seem to settle down and am more able to accept what is, rather than what might be.

I was feeling a bit low yesterday as we had been chatting and it made them going very real. However today I am fine again and know they are going to have a great time. That pleases me as long as I keep my mind focused on how much fun they will have. I am so pleased that they are going to enjoy their lives travelling now at 50 rather than leaving it till they retire when so many people are too old to enjoy it. The young ones are just enjoying all the exploration and beginning their life journey. The world is so small nowadays.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/10/14 12:49 A

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Mine, too, Amy!

Just finished a very detailed cover letter telling them all the reasons they should give me an interview! I'm pooped, and think I'll Spark a little then go to bed to rest, and finish it all tomorrow night to submit by Thursday noon.

I have yet to hear a thing about the Office Manger position I interviewed for, which is making me doubtful I'm being further considered. Word is we'll all "hear something" when the manager returns to the office tomorrow. I'll let y'all know, and just keep working on the next app.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/9/14 7:01 P

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Hi all,
Wispy, I'm sorry your family is going overseas, I'm sure you'll miss them, but maybe now is a good time to indulge in other interests, like learning to play heavy metal guitar, or doll making, or writing a novel. At least it will get your mind off them being gone, and you can surprise them with your new expertise.

Amanda, I totally understand, having worked in customer service for a gazillion years. How lucky that you can take time off in December. Everyplace I worked considered early November to January a blackout period.

My court date comes up December 18. I'm hopeful, and trying not to put any negative vibrations out into the air. FIngers and toes crossed. emoticon



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/9/14 3:24 P

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Hi guys, all sounds good going for you Amanda. Great spirit of determination. So wishing you well.

Family leaves for overseas on Saturday, so I am a little flat today. Will miss them lots, but very happy they are going to have a great adventure. Not sure how long they will be away but sending blessing with them.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/9/14 12:44 A

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Well, I spent a good part of today just trying to catch up from being off for a week. Plus we got slammed at times, showing us what it's going to be like when our main go-to person with the answers is gone for good (retiring in a couple weeks).

I did not hear anything about the supervisory position I interviewed for, but then the manager wasn't around today. I'm working on a new application tonight, and for the next few. Then I learned of a wellness position of some kind with a different agency that's just opened up. I'll be looking into that too.

So I'm really glad I got a jump on the holiday tasks, since they'll take a backseat for the next little while!


Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/8/14 2:24 P

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Amy that is such a difficult decision to make. Pleased you have time to find the best possible care you can think of. It is unlikely of course that you will need it, but peace of mind is so important. I am wondering if it would be possible to check out if there is some way to ensure they would not go to their father. I remember you saying there was talk of him getting them unsupervised over Christmas. As you dont mention it, I sure hope that is not going to happen.

Sounds like you both do have your holidays planned out quite well. There is still a couple of weeks plus to go.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/7/14 9:49 P

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Amy, I relate to the frustration of losing a bunch of writing--it's happened to me before, too. emoticon
I realized a few years ago that I would stress in December, and end up not enjoying the holidays as much as I wanted to, because I was always running late. So this is the third year I've taken a week in early December, and I love it! I never get it all done, but I get things done in enough time to enjoy the season more. Other folks get more time off at the end of the month--we only get Christmas Day and New Year's Day, and while a few people can take more, we have to provide coverage at the counter and on phones for our customers, so very few can get approved leave.

It's cool that you are thinking about who you trust with your daughters' welfare. I understand it would be uncomfortable, but so important to spend time planning! I applaud your strength and courage to begin reviewing your options.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/7/14 7:17 P

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Hi ladies!
I'm sorry I haven't posted lately, my computer service was running poorly again (I think I have to increase my data plan to adjust for the kids current homework load, drat it!). I did try to post, but accidentally deleted everything I had written, and didn't have the patience to write it again.

Amanda, I was quite envious of your vacation and getting ready for Yule/X-mas! It's very piecemeal for me, and since my house doesn't stay clean very long, decorating gets a little stressful. This year the girls and I cleaned all Saturday (we didn't finish, but we got the public rooms done) and today we have been baking. Tonight we'll start the decorations, and next week we'll get a tree.

Wispy, celebrating Christmas with warm weather and gardening seems so decadent! I'd be envious, except that you don't get the fun of having world wide celebrations in the middle of the dreariest time of year. (I am really tempted, though, to go there for Christmas after I win the lottery!).

I did get some unsettling news this week, which caused me some stressful feelings about my biological family, but then I realized that one of the reasons I have the friends I do is because they are like a chosen family. I had to re-think who will have guardianship of my girls if something happens to me, and it had to be someone who would be willing to go to the mat if the girls father made a bid for custody. It's kind of a tough one. My aunts and uncles are elderly, I'm not close to many of my cousins, and those who have been involved in my life are not people I would be comfortable turning my children over to (they aren't bad, necessarily, just insensitive and brash). Fortunately, this is not a decision to be made overnight.





What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/7/14 3:06 P

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Life is sunshine and outdoors here. Love the garden and spending lots of time with the flowers.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/7/14 12:21 A

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Yes, a big emoticon to our new and returning members!

I had an enjoyable day with family today. Drove down to my sisters, rain wasn't too bad on the freeway. Then (since she's the more confident driver)she drove us down to the Portland area (2.5 hours from her house) where we attended the annual Shafer Ladies (maternal relatives) luncheon and ornament exchange. Had a great time chatting with several cousins and our only remaining aunt (by marriage). And of course in 5 hours on the road (plus pit stops), Mary and I got lots of talking done.
emoticon
Given that it was dark (I don't have great night vision) and spattering rain lightly, I chose to drive roads instead of the freeway back home. Increases the driving time by ~ 30 minutes, but much less stressful for me. And I enjoyed my Christmas music as I drove, so I was fine. We made plans for next year which will be even farther south into Oregon, to do an overnight in an inexpensive hotel on the way back, so make it less intense driving--since we never know what weather may be like in early December. Always nice to have fun things to look forward to!
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/6/14 11:47 P

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Wishing you a warm welcome to the team Deborah. emoticon

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/6/14 2:35 A

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Hi there ladies,

Well feeling good. Got lots done in the garden. Lovely weather. Always so much to do in spring and summer here.

Hope things are more pleasant when you get back to work Amanda. Only a couple of weeks till the holidays. Dont know how long you get in your neck of the woods.

Wishing you all the best with the applications.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/5/14 10:04 P

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I guess, just go with your energy. Be up and do when you're feeling well, and nap/sleep when you get tired! Glad the wrist is better!
emoticon
This was my last official vacation day; I go back to work on Monday--and will hopefully find out soon if I've made the first cut on the Office Manager position I interviewed for. I think they'll be doing 2nd interviews, maybe with the regional manager. I submitted a new application today, and have one more due next Thursday I'd like to go for. I'd really like the OM job--I think I'd be able to accomplish a lot of positive things there over time, and my salary could actually grow! But given that I'm still in a temporary position at present, I have to keep looking, because there's no stability or growth potential where I am.

On the holiday front, I got 2 packages in the mail, including the tricky APO one to my brother in Turkey. I have a couple items wrapped, one more ready to mail, but have to wait until Monday to pick up items I'll be sending out. I picked up little inexpensive gifts for coworkers, and used a Barnes & Nobel's coupon to get a calendar for myself--the one I'll take to work to help me stay positive: it's called Live! Love! Laugh! I was very disappointed to learn that they aren't making the Advice from Nature calendar for 2015. I had planned to give it as gifts to several friends, and get one or two for me. So there may be no monthly advice next year on my status.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/5/14 7:42 A

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Wow that has been one productive day. Just a thought as I am typing. This page is so full of adverts there is just this box in which I am typing and nothing else but ads above on both sides and also on the page here.

Wrist is feeling some better. So grateful. I thought I might be in for another long period of RSI. Had it in plaster last time and didnt think Id be able to use the computer again. Hopefully it will continue to improve.

Just woke up full of life and beans and discovered its about 1.30am. I did fall asleep really early. Seldom wake up feeling so alive. lol. Guess Ill just do a few things and go back to sleep.



"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/5/14 12:40 A

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emoticon about the wrist, Wispy-- emoticon (And I'll understand if you have less to say as you heal!) emoticon

Went to the gym again--such a luxury to have the time during the week when I'm on vacation. Then went by Costco where I thought to price, and maybe pick up an Ott Light or two (I'm wanting a standing lamp and a table or desk one), but they didn't have any. I got one as a gift from sister & BIL some years ago, and really like it; planned to use some of that ta refund to get my own (hopefully at a Costco discount), but will have to look elsewhere. {sigh}

Finally buckled down an spent a fair time on the application due tomorrow: typed the supplemental question responses (the two "essay" ones, so I can copy and paste into the online application), composed and typed a detailed cover letter (showing how well my experience matches what they're looking for, so hopefully they'll want to interview me), reviewed my resume to include, and reworked my references to mention that my current supervisor is retiring very soon. I emailed her asking about alternate personal contact info, if she's still willing to be a reference for myself and possibly others; will call tomorrow morning, so I know what I may include when I submit tomorrow.

Also hung the glittery icicle ornaments on the tree. Contacted my jewelry seller re the gifts I have coming; they arrived today, but I won't be able to get them until next week, as she is also off this week and lives a fair ways away (but works across the street from me). Got my Barnes and Nobel's orders today, and have wrapped the calendar going to my brother in Turkey. I'll at least get that in the mail to his APO address tomorrow. The rest may get mailed on the days I have my next couple of medical appointments.

I may not have gotten as much done as I had hoped, but have continued chipping away at some holiday tasks (plus the application), which was the plan for this time. Oh, and we finally had a day well above freezing-- emoticon



Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/4/14 7:27 P

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Sounds lovely Amanda. You are sure in the festive spirit.

Hurt my wrist, hard to type. Have a good day ladies.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/3/14 10:45 P

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emoticon Vana! Great to hear from you. (I'm so glad I reached out to all our members, and hope to hear from more in the days ahead.) Glad you are holding up with all the business of 2 jobs, including retail! I was a bookstore manager for 7 years, so I get the holiday craziness! Hoping you can maintain your health, energy, a measure of calm, and good cheer throughout the season!
emoticon
The session with Katie (my therapist) was good, but intense. I reviewed the PTSD episode which followed the mammogram. At least this one was pretty mild compared to the one 2 mammograms ago. As I reported with pride, I even went home after it, had lunch, then went to work and managed to have a pretty good day. I also didn't wait months to report the issues to the manager, but filled out a "How are we doing card?" within minutes (after sitting by the elevators crying softly), and sent her a very detailed email within a couple of days. So while I didn't protect myself or go in as prepared as I wish I had (after the last good one, I just wasn't expecting another bad one like I got), I took the courageous route and spoke out, not just for myself, but for other women as well. And I practiced some positive self-care in the aftermath as well.

Anyway, I was pretty drained when I got home, so took a nap. I've since put the lights on the tree--I so love the sight! emoticon Oh and last night I decorated my bedroom window that overlooks the front of the apartment, so my neighbors can enjoy. I haven't gotten to work on the cover letter like I had planned; will try to get a start tonight. And because I didn't get gifts ordered quite as early as I would have liked, I'm not sure if I'll have them all ready to get in the mail this week, as I like to get done. We'll see. But I have my ornament ready for Saturday's luncheon and ornament exchange I'll be attending with Mary. So I'm feeling pretty productive, and also knowing I'm taking pretty good care of myself as well--and that's important!

I'm glad I've marked pretty well what's in my Xmas boxes, so I could find my holiday music, jewelry and tops quickly. I wore a poinsettia sweat shirt that used to be my mom's, with a sparkly round ball ornament earring--one green and one red, plus sequined silver, green and red hair scrunchies on my wrist as bracelets! emoticon Such fun!! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/3/14 2:59 P

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Hi there Vana,
Good to see you.

You are so right. I thought it was only us older folks who see the world like that, but it seems everyone is these days.

Wishing you a peaceful and joyous holiday when the rush is over and you can relax.

Sounds like a good plan Amanda and means you can relax once the preparations are out of the way. Will you be spending the holidays with your sister?

You are so dedicated on applying. I do admire your stickability to the project and not getting downhearted.

Love Wispy



Edited by: -WISPY- at: 12/3/2014 (15:03)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/3/14 6:12 A

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I haven't been in here for so very long. Being in retail you can imagine what my last week has been like. Busy busy busy! Survived working on Thanksgiving evening and again on Black Friday. The people I had to deal with were not too bad at all. But I am glad that dreaded weekend is over,

Will be decorating the house next weekend and then getting into the party mood. I am hosting a company Christmas party at our home and so looking forward to it. Christmas otherwise will be rather sedate this year. No rushing off for family events and a quiet day at home with me and hubby.

I am working two jobs now, 6 days a week and am tired but feeling good about myself and where my life is now. Dealing with some health issues but it is just a irritating eczema that I am so tired of.

So looking forward to another new year. Didn't we just start 2012 and here we are at the end of 2014? Where does the time go?

Vana emoticon emoticon

If you have the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you'll dance!!

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12/2/14 9:42 P

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emoticon Wispy, and will also be praying. No, I'm just taking a week off--I think this is the 3rd year I've taken the first week in December to get a jump on the holidays. It helps me get more done, and enjoy the season more.

Today I got the tree put up, the wreath on the door, rent & a bill paid to a friend. I went to the post office and got holiday stamps, and took some stamps without numbers, but predating forever stamps, to find out what they were worth: had 4 @ 1 cent, 8 @ 20, and quite a few @ 34. I'll be using them up over time.

I started on the next application--supplemental questions first. Will begin the cover letter tomorrow. Also made 2 medical appointments that I want to get done before the end of the year--and before the current supervisor retires, leaving us *really* short-handed. I sent her the dates to confirm they'll work OK. I tried to get this week while I'm off, but everything was booked.

I want to review my journal some more tonight and see what all I may want to share with Katie tomorrow. I found a number of things this morning, as I was casually looking back, but didn't write them down. My journal is turning out to be a cool resource for planning on numerous fronts. I just have to remember to capture the ideas where I can best refer to them or put them to use.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/2/14 6:39 P

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Those stats are not good Amy. I thought they usually favoured the mother in courts.

So praying things go well for you.

Enjoy your holiday Amanda. That is an early start. Are you off till after Christmas?

Had a good day working out in the garden with the gardeners this morning. We got so much done. Wonderful. :)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/2/14 12:32 A

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Went to the gym, then Costco gas (I hadn't realized I was almost empty!), half a block over to Home Depot to check on trees. I've tried 2 different varieties the last couple years that didn't have much smell--very disappointing! They didn't have all their varieties in, but I checked what was there, rubbing needles with my nose pressed in the branches--and found the Douglas Fir (not the Grand or Nobel Firs) had the best smell, so got one taller than planned, but they had no petite ones. And I picked up a pruning saw to replace the one that's packed who knows where--just right for trimming the bottom straggling branches & taking the end of the trunk off, so the tree will drink plenty of water and thus stay fresher. Also got a couple cute small, variegated poinsettias.

Then back to Costco for some groceries, home for lunch, out again for Trader Joe's groceries, used my Cyber Monday coupon at B&N online for pretty much the last of my gifts. Now they just have to arrive so I can wrap and mail them! Pulled out some of the holiday boxes including jewelry & music & cards. Will get tree put up tomorrow. So that was my first day of vacation!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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12/1/14 10:48 P

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Amanda, your day sounds wonderful, and an ornament exchange sounds great (so much nicer than a cookie exchange, where the most lasting memories end up on my hips!).

My daughter just asked me if any of my spark friends got to be in snow. When I said yes, she began griping "They are so lucky! Why can't we live in cold weather?"

My ex has a chance at custody because we'll be going to court over a temporary restraining order. I have no doubt that for me, they will make it permanent. But for the kids? The court may think it is in their best interest to spend time with their father.

Scary statistic: 70% of women who accuse the fathers of their children of abuse lose custody in the U.S.

I love Christmas, although I am often overwhelmed by it. I've started learning to keep it simple, although the kids want to do more decorating, and I'm sure they wish we could decorate and party more. Oh well. Unlikely to happen.


What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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12/1/14 5:35 P

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Hi there ladies

Wow Amy, that is a tale and a half.

Prayers going out to you and your family.
I also thoughts the Court would have something to say about that. And unsupervised custody, how can they just change that at the drop of a hat!
I am so sorry. Please keep in touch and let us know what is going on.

Christmas can be a difficult time for many people even without all these problems, so we are here for you if you just want to talk.

Sending love and hugs.

Wispy

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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12/1/14 1:05 A

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Glad you made it back, Amy. I will definitely add my prayers that the ex not be given the power to take them away; don't the courts take such threats seriously?

I waited until the temps were above freezing to head out to use my B&N coupon to buy a few gift calendars, plus a run by Target for a few items--luckily not too crowded by Sunday mid-afternoon. Also used another coupon and picked up a few more things online. I also have my ornament for the Shafer Ladies luncheon and ornament exchange with my female relatives (mom's side); Mary and I will make it next weekend for the first time in a couple years. Just one auntie still with us now.

Also did some cleaning and sorting, looked over the next two applications. Worked out with a DVD, since I didn't want to be scraping ice off the windows, then driving on possibly icy roads to reach the gym in the morning.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/30/14 9:09 P

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Hello all! I just got back from my Thanksgiving vacation, had no access to internet, so I couldn't keep in touch, so I am very relieved to be back!

I decided to take the kids to Vegas, because my Mom lives there, and we haven't spent the holidays there in a long time. Plus, the court date with my ex is coming up and I'm afraid that they'll allow him to have the kids for unsupervised visitation through the Christmas holidays

(and I would truly appreciate any prayers/energies that this does NOT happen, because he has threatened that as soon as he gets them he will take them out of the country as my Christmas present!)

so I really wanted the kids to spend time with my Mom.

Ever have one of those vacations where so much goes wrong that you finally just give up trying to make your plans actually happen?

We left after school Wednesday, but between traffic, potty accidents (the girls finally figured out that they have to tell me BEFORE I go past the off-ramp) and just plain exhastion, I had to stop at a motel. Which was nice...almost too nice! I overslept Thursday, which made us late getting on the road. I finally got to my Moms at about 2, and discovered her cooking (I had thought we would be going to a restaurant, because she can not be on her feet for too long). So I had about an hour to get rested, then helped her make all the last minute stuff while the girls burned some energy in the backyard. The dinner and the company was great, and the girls helped clean up after (in which Gramma showed them all of her mothers good china and told them the stories about it) and then I collapsed into bed. I recovered the next day (as did my Mom) and then left on Saturday...as did everybody else from California. Traffic was crazy, going through the mountains was scary, the rain was intense, and we were off schedule by hours. So, another night in a hotel. We got back a day late, and the cats refused to speak to us for awhile, but we are home, we are resting, and tomorrow I'll be back at work.

I need a vacation to recover from my vacation!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,713
11/30/14 6:03 P

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Good golly woman. I couldn't bear it. Literally made my head spin and my stomach tie up in knots. LOL.
Confusion is a big thing for me. I can only listen to one thing at a time. Had it all my life. :) ENJOY MY FRIEND. emoticon

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (97,815)
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11/29/14 10:39 P

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For a total change of mood, have y'all heard of the a capella singing group Straight No Chaser? I just got introduced to them today, with their wacky rendition of The 12 Days of Christmas, which my sister told me is on the radio, & today the DJ mentioned a YouTube video. We checked it out, and there are at least 3 versions I've seen, plus several other wild medleys. Enjoy! emoticon
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc00HVmkaXY


Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/29/14 5:51 P

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I too can remember the relief of just being away from the constant walking on eggshells so as not to upset him and the hypervigilance I had learned in childhood which kept me constantly in alarm state. Just to breathe normally was a blessing. My big problem was I thought I loved him, well I did love him. But loving someone who abuses you was kind of what I knew - so no doubt why I was attracted to him, and others like him.

We are here for you. :)

PS. I had many reasons for not leaving. That is why I could never do it before I did. If you feel this way, do not think badly of yourself. It is normal for people who are abused to find it very hard to leave. I just had to get to a place where it seemed more fearful and scary to stay than it did to be alone. Being alone can be a very scary process with no money and no home. So if you are ready to leave, please contact a welfare house, or someone who will take you in before you go. Going from the frying pan into the fire is not helpful either, especially if when you are ill.

Warm hugs Wispy

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 11/29/2014 (17:55)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (97,815)
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11/28/14 10:36 P

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I also hope you can get away to a women's shelter, or somewhere safe. One of the best things I ever did was separate from my emotionally abusive husband. I slept on the floor of a coworker's studio apartment while her siblings were visiting, until I could get my own place. Being away from all the stress was such a gift to myself. I'm praying you find the right next step for you.

Donated blood this afternoon, taking it easy now. Had some soup, will get to bed early.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/28/14 3:37 P

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So sorry to hear how low things are for you right now. I understand what you are saying one time my husband knocked me across the kitchen and I hit my back on the bar across the front of the cooker. I was on the floor and could not get up. I had to ask him to take me hospital. Afterwards he said I suppose you told them I did it. And I said No i had said I fell. That was how I used to be, I would cover up for him.
I did finally leave after a night when I was afraid he really would kill me. I lived with a friend for a while who kindly took me in. Then lived on a disability benefit for several years. Like you I was unable to work with my health issues.
There are also Womens Refuge houses for people who cannot afford to leave an abusive partner.
I am sorry to hear about your Mum passing on, that must have been an awful thing on top of everything else.

Wispy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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WILDXANGELS's Photo WILDXANGELS Posts: 855
11/28/14 5:04 A

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so upset this jerk has been making my life unbearable and treating me rotten and telling me to get out when i have no money,no family and no where to go,plus my health is so bad i am sick to my stomach and shaking.I just also lost my mom,i wish i had my own place so very bad.

e time zone


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11/27/14 7:40 P

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Yes that is so exactly it, well done you. I guess we each need to decide what is in our best interests to pursue. It's funny you mention medicals actually, because I have had more battles with them over the years than any other body of people. For a while it seemed to be almost constant. One doc put on a report he thought I had a personality disorder regarding doctors. I was mad as a wet hen about that. But looking back perhaps he was right. I sure do not trust any of them really. A bit like horses. emoticon I got thrown when I was young and dragged along by the stirrup. Never fancied them since. Had a bad experience with a doc when I was a child who told me I was saying I had a pain because I didnt want to go to school. I nearly died of peritonitis a few weeks later. These things do tend to stick.

Have a good day my friend.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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11/26/14 11:14 P

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I do get you, Wispy. I can get (and have gotten) quite upset about poor management decisions and unfair or neglectful actions, poor planning, etc., etc. at work. But I can end up stressed and miserable trying to get people to change or make things right. The more I can shrug my shoulders over, the calmer and happier I am. The saying "Pick your battles" may apply here. Some things may be worth investing time and emotional energy in, but not everything.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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11/26/14 3:34 P

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Yes, I hear you. I was not thinking of medical things at all. Yes, I always write and complain about those. Last time I was in hospital I went to sign myself out I was so disgusted at what was happening. That got their attention. When I got home like you I wrote a long and detailed letter. Thinking I would still do that - obviously I have mixed feelings about some things. :)

I have had a whole series of challenges this last couple of years with Council, dogs, drummers, contractors, property developers, internet overcharges and other stuff on this kind of topic. I put a great deal of effort into trying to resolve all this stuff and looking back over the whole period. I got nowhere really. I finally rang up to end my internet contract and then they fixed the problem, well so they say, however instead of fixing it, they have now removed my line charges - which I need. They didnt sort my bill out. Just changed what I was getting and the bill is now lower - but useless.
I decided a month or so ago to just leave it and pay the extra - less hassle and peace for me. I was happy with that decision. Then I allowed myself to be talked out of it by a friend who is where I was with "getting my rights" and I thought yep she is right. I should stand up for myself. However it has cost me far more in frustration and anger and bad feelings than the extra 10 dollars a month is worth. Same with the drummer and dogs and the Council, and also the property developer who it turned out was not responsible for damaging my property at all. I would have had to get a lawyer and take him to court. Council only care about the damage done to things they have to pay for - even though they did away with their rules to allow him to put this sub division down the end of the lane. In the end I have had to make good the damage. Now they have scraped the side of my fence and their is bare metal and the yellow paint off the lorry along the side and once again it is my responsibility to take them to court. They of course responded to none of my letters.

These are the kind of things that have brought me to the place I am. Being 75 is making a difference as well. I do not want to waste any more time and energy on useless pursuits that drive me nuts. LOL.

The medical profession - I sure think I would still do something about that - that is a case of life and limb.

Love you Amanada. xx

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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