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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,124
6/30/16 11:21 A

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Wow, it sounds like things have been really productive!

I've been dealing with a few aches and pains, mostly (I think) due to a new group of babies in the day care. Most are crawling, so they need to be picked up, and they are heavy! We have 10 boys and 2 girls, and boys present a unique challenge in that they tend to need more physical activity...which means more ouchies, and more need for cuddles.

My weight is up, but I am dealing with it. I've made a conscious effort to drink more water, because I think that not drinking enough is part of the weight gain. It has been so hot here (in the triple digits) and I've been craving salty things, so I finally started paying attention to what I needed.

I've been thinking I should get a tarot reading. I've never been able to read well for myself, but I do like to get a reading once in awhile. I like to do it locally because I like to be in the room with the cards. Somehow, doing it over the internet has always been too vague.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/29/16 12:48 P

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Feeling proud of what I report in the Success thread in the Challenges forum. (I never know if folks will notice new messages beyond the general team discussions, so I like to let you know when I've posted elsewhere on the team.

*******************
I've been hear at the dealers about 3 hours now, and will start packing up soon, back into my wheeled case. I've done some Sparking, worked on my parts journal project (what I call my PJs), my tarot transcription--which often takes me days or even weeks after the actual reading, reading for pleasure, adding to my planning journal, snacking, and just now transferring notes on movies I jot when I walk by the rack of new rentals as I leave Safeway. Of the 6 I had written from the last 2 grocery visits, 5 were are my library: the shortest wait is 497 on 45 Years, the longest 1534 on Joy; I've moved up to spot on the last Star Wars movie...though come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever saw episode III! I should check that out, too.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 6/29/2016 (15:17)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/28/16 11:24 P

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I spent some time planning & prepping for tomorrow's car appt--brake job that will take 2.5 to 3 hours. I'm sure I have enough to keep me occupied for that long without getting too bored or squirrely. I didn't want to just take one or 2 things to do the whole time, and hope to do some catch up in a number of areas.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/28/16 12:07 A

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Trying not to wilt in the heat emoticon --although I know many of you are facing much hotter temps than the mid-to-upper 80s.

Feeling proud that I took a few minutes to sit down with my planning journal and list out a number of projects and steps I want to work on in different areas. I've crossed a few off already, and it feels really good to keep that commitment to myself to work on building more structure.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/26/16 8:57 P

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I got my hair trimmed emoticon then made a grocery run emoticon and had a nap on the couch emoticon Want to spend a little time on various projects, and put in a bit of planning time as well. emoticon emoticon emoticon (my planning images)

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/25/16 11:25 P

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Yesterday evening I tried a 30-minute "knee-friendly" barre workout by Jessica Smith, that ended up hurting my shoulders and wrists. I was miserable when it was done, and didn't do extra stretching--she barely does any, if at all. Not sure if that's why I ended up with severe leg cramps in the middle of the night or not, which always freaks me out. I managed to get on my feet and into the bathroom for some naproxen (generic Aleve), and a bunch of water (not enough can contribute to cramps). Today I did a nice long stretching routine with Kathy Smith, a mature fitness instructor in som Spark TV videos www.sparkpeople.tv/video.asp?id=393 and later I did 3 rounds of Coach Nicole's 5 Full-Body Exercises That Save You Time www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
st
=5_fullbody_exercises_that_save_you_R>time
which I liked, and will do again.

I've also been sorting old papers and working on clearing the dining table, plus I made an appt to get my recommended rear brake job. Considered doing laundry after running a couple errands late morning, but was just too tired then and ended up taking a nap. Going to make it an easy night tonight, possibly do some more stretching before bed.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/24/16 12:20 A

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I love journaling, and have developed the practice to include discrete sections with a different focus--I look at not so good choices, celebrate successes and gifts, invite qualities, and explore body sensations, emotions and energies to see what's up to be shared, addressed or embraced. Both nurturing and empowering.

The link for those "silly race signs" is www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
st
=tbd
I totally enjoyed them! emoticon

I did 2 separate arm workouts off Spark TV tonight--9 min and 7 min, for a total of 16. Used pretty light weights,cuz I can sometimes strain shoulders or elbows; in fact I'm subbing wall push-ups the last couple days, due to some real elbow pain recently while doing push-ups.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,124
6/23/16 11:15 A

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I'm glad the journaling is working. Funny, one of my support groups has been dealing with that subject lately, specifically, how abusers have used our journals against us, and how we take back our power by journaling again.



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/21/16 11:59 P

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It was really busy at work today, but my morning journaling paid off: my conflict with a coworker lost a lot of energy, and my mood stayed pretty good, though I'm awfully tired and thinking about bed already!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/21/16 12:27 A

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I did a Tarot reading after dinner. I just got hit with a wave of tiredness, so think I will head to bed a bit earlier than usual tonight. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,124
6/19/16 11:26 P

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Thank you for reminding me about the Solstice! I would have kicked myself for not observing it.

I am getting a little concerned that I've been eating pretty compulsively. I started looking into the food plan I did back when I was a member of Overeaters Anonymous...but that was 20+ years ago. As I recall it worked to curb cravings and lose weight, but it is really restrictive. Still, I think it may be what I need for a few weeks, at least, to stop the compulsion.

The heat here has been really oppressive. I worry a little about all the homeless people in the neighborhood.


What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/18/16 8:54 P

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I'm feeling very balanced and productive today!

I just did a couple workouts, adding a link in the Tips forum, Spark resources thread, for a low-impact HIIT workout I actually liked (the only one I haven't hated), that led to another gentle cardio for beginners/bad knees.

I've been using my timer to do little 5-minute cleaning bursts in various rooms, and 15-minute sorting (mostly paper and mail and filing) sessions--I've done 4 of those so far. I've been taking reading or TV or computer breaks and laid down for a short nap/rest.

I'm feeling really good about it all!

It's weird, 2 or 3 days ago the forecast was for warming temps, with Monday (the Midsummer Solstice) hitting 83 and Tuesday getting up to 88--oh and no rain in the next 10 days. Then it got windy and cooler, with rain Friday--heavy at night, and when I checked the next 10 days today, no 80s predicted at all, highest temp of 78 forecast for the Solstice, as well as the following Monday. I love it when it stays in the 60s and 70s!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 6/19/2016 (00:11)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/18/16 12:50 A

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I wiped myself out with a couple short ST workouts. I also did 15 minutes with the timer on sorting and my PJs (parts journal project). So I feel productive and satisfied. Planning to do some more reading. Nearly done with re-reading the first book in a new Nora Roberts magical trilogy; second book just got delivered today.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
215
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6/14/16 12:14 A

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Had a good 1-on-1 meeting with supervisor today, and a regional wellness committee meeting where we had pear, honeydew, spinach & yogurt smoothies--pretty tasty! At home I worked on my PJs, my Parts Journal Project, some little chores, and did 2 workouts, cardio and core.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (159,717)
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6/12/16 11:31 P

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Subbing can be really hard, but I'd love for you to be making more money. Do think about it, and hopefully talk to other substitutes in your area, and find what supports and resources there may be.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/12/16 5:57 P

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I am managing to get my laundry cleaned, if not put away. Having the girls gone all day is lending itself to getting a lot of cleaning done, even though I keep stopping to watch cooking and house decorating shows. I have to get the bunny cage out of the house, though, and I'm not sure if that is something I should do while the girls are gone, or if we should do it together. They are still pretty sad about the bunny's death.

I managed to resolve some of my babysitter issues, so that is a huge relief. But the whole emotional content of last week has left me exhausted. I ran into a friend when I took the girls to the Mosque last week, who talked to me about becoming a substitute teacher. I am seriously pondering it. It's a lot more money than I am currently making, and I would be home a lot earlier in the day. On the other hand, there is no long term relationship with the students, no watching them improve, no "teacher wins". I suspect I'll have a lot to think about over the next few weeks.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/11/16 9:58 P

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2 baskets of laundry which got divided into 3 loads. Using timer to declutter and straighten. Feeling strong! emoticon

Felt a little under the weather after 8 hours sleep (7 is my norm), so have gotten plenty of down time in between 3 loads of laundry, a half hour of paper sorting, and little chores. Also ordered my first full order (4# to get free shipping) of flavored coffee from my new supplier, and the 2nd book in Nora Roberts' current magical trilogy which comes out on Tuesday. So I'll have fun things coming in the mail to look forward to. Also got in 2 short Spark workouts for 20 minutes of ST. Feeling good!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 6/12/2016 (00:31)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (159,717)
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6/10/16 11:17 P

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Feeding the poor sounds like a lovely way to honor a spiritual path or holy time.

Cool about your oldest thinking about Berkeley as a possibility. Also glad court went better than expected and the other lawyer was being reasonable. Sounds like you're having a lot of positives!

Work has been extra nutty due to huge changes made by another agency that affects our work. We've been plagued by the consequences of poor planning, communication, training and implementation. Thank the Goddess our customer traffic has been lighter than normal, giving how much time we've had to devote to emails and (inadequate) online training!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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158.75
140
SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,124
6/10/16 10:58 A

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I think I need to find a way to break up a cleaning schedule so that it gets done. Maybe I'll challenge my girls: if they get their rooms cleaned and organized first, they can choose a Saturday adventure. If not, I get to choose an activity (which would probably be more cleaning emoticon ).

Court was weird. It was almost like the court didn't know we were coming, so the lawyers scrambled to negotiate visitation times. My ex now has every other weekend, Friday to Sunday, with no overnights (we are supposed to be working towards overnights). It worked out better than I expected, but we will have to go to mediation next month, where the girls will be interviewed by the mediator (whom we thought would be there Tuesday, but ...). I think my ex's lawyer is becoming less enamored of him. She was behaving pretty reasonably.

My own lawyer doesn't drive, so after court I gave her a ride to Oakland (she applied the cost of the trip to my debt) and the girls and I toured the Berkely Campus. I loved it, but the girls were bored and wanted ice cream. Still, my oldest allowed how it might be a nice place to go to college, and she could consider working towards a scholarship. So my fiendish plot worked!

We have been partially fasting for Ramadan (we can't last the whole day, me for medical reasons and the girls are too young). I think we are going to feed the poor instead...fasting is just to much, and too long, in summer.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/9/16 12:01 A

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It's much cooler today. When I left work yesterday, the car said it was 90 out, though that dropped to 87 over the next few minutes, and when I hit the parking lot on our little hill, less than a mile from work, it dropped to 86. Today when I left work the temp said 67! Had wind when I walked at lunch, and the barest of misting on my afternoon walk. Hooray!

I've been doing more breaking up TV, Sparking, Spider and chores, sorting & my parts project. It's helping me feel productive and balanced.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/7/16 11:08 P

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I was in my 20s and skinny when I lived in Texas where it often got over 100. But I don't much enjoy extreme heat these days.
emoticon
So emoticon about the emoticon How long did you have him/her? I don't know what the life expectancy of a bunny is, I realize.
emoticon
I wrote a letter in a belated birthday card for a dear friend. It felt good to make the connection. I've been breaking up ST sets with some Sparking and Spider Solitaire deals. Nice balance.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/7/16 12:34 A

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My daughter is doing much better now, but had to go to the doctor today and get 3 immunizations. She is phobic about needles, so that was a pretty awful experience, with me trying to keep her calm, and her sister lying on her legs so she couldn't kick the nurse.

Sadly, our pet bunny died this morning as well. So it wasn't a great day for the girls.

Today was also the first day of Ramadan, so we had all gotten up at 3:30 to eat breakfast before fasting began. This year I am doing it with the girls in hopes of guiding them, since they have never really taken it seriously, and it's an important part of their religion. I probably won't be able to do it all day every day...I only made it to 4:00 p.m. today...but I am at least reinforcing that they need to pray. It helps, too, that they are going to a religious camp for part of the day, so at least they have other kids around doing it with them.

But let me just say this: Fasting sucks. Getting up an hour before dawn is worse. I am not sure I can keep this up. But at least I am making the effort.

I can't help smiling when you say it got up to 90 degrees. Here, that would be a cool day!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/6/16 11:43 P

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Good to hear from you, Amy! Glad you enjoyed your book. I wrote a longish message in the What are you reading or watching? thread. Hope your daughter's doing better. When does their school year finish? What will they and you be doing?

I'm doing OK in the heat. It got up to at least 90 here yesterday, and according to my car temp gauge, it hit 90 today--though with a breeze it didn't feel that hot. Tomorrow's supposed to be in the 80s, Wed in the 70s and Thursday on in the mid to high 60s. Can't wait!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/6/16 2:18 A

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Oh, I'm sorry you haven't been well. My daughter caught some bug, and had a fever for a day, but has been really, really lethargic for 5 days since. Today was the first day that she hasn't taken a long nap. She had no appetite either, so I had to push her to eat. I really hope you don't have the same thing.

I finally finished my book, it was really good. It makes me want to know a little more about Audubon around that time. In the meantime, I've got to finish my lesson plans before I find something new to read. I really dislike the themes for the next few weeks, so it's hard to get excited about planning. I've even gone walking rather than sit and plan!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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6/5/16 12:09 A

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Finally getting some energy back. I actually ran a couple quick errands today, getting out of the house for the first time since lunchtime on Thursday!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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6/4/16 12:08 A

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I'm not really symptomatic--just so exhausted I didn't want to stand long, much less move around. It started yesterday during my walk at the start of my lunch break. My steps got slower and slower, like my energy just evaporated. Several times today I thought "I don't feel that bad, maybe I can go in to work after all." Then I would stand up, and realize "No way." So I've been resting, reading, sweating. Hoping things even out soon and my energy returns.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/2/16 10:44 P

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I'll be going to bed early. Even after a nap this afternoon (I came home sick), I'm getting tired and sleepy again--though I slept plenty last night. NOt sure what this is!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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6/2/16 12:05 A

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No late customers today, so after putting things away & completing closing routines, I got to spend some time cleaning my desk. Lots more to sort and organize, but it felt good to make a tiny dent.

They put out leftovers from the luau yesterday. I ate the TJ's salad and fruit I brought, but had some of the tangy macaroni salad I had so enjoyed. There was leftover chicken from the union meeting, so I brought home 2 drumsticks--one fried, one roasted--which I just had for dinner with a medium salad.
emoticon emoticon
I finished my Five Hundred Kingdoms fairy tales by Mercedes Lackey, started a new series by an author I've enjoyed, but didn't like this one. So I started the new Nora Roberts I picked up at the library, The Liar. I'm enjoying it so far.

Yesterday got up to the low 80s, but today hit mid-70s, with growing humidity, and it's raining lightly right now.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/31/16 11:56 P

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We had our regional Employee Appreciation event at work--a luau theme, w/ Hawaiian food, a little dancing--how I love that!, plus a photo booth and a chance to chat with people from other offices. They pulled off a nice party. And since the Tukwila Community Center, where it was held, is in walking distance, I got a couple of nice walks, and have over 13,000 steps for the day!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/30/16 11:42 P

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Came across an old but helpful article, Concentrate On Your Core
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness
_a
rticles.asp?id=428


Added this comment to it (I'm doing more comments on exercise articles/videos):
It is simple and helpful. I had never heard of the leg press; changed hand position so not right on knee joint, repeated & extended count. On the crunch, concentrated on keeping neck as relaxed as possible and not raising much, but really tightening abs. Then flipped over and did some of Coach Nicole's back raises to balance. Surprisingly effective!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/30/16 1:55 A

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Sorry things are tough at present. I'm trying to get better at taking care of things in a timely way.

The novel sounds interesting. I know nothing about that time or those events. I'm reading the 500 Kingdoms series by Mercedes Lackey--her take on fairy tales. I'm up to the Sleeping Beauty take off. Next one features a werewolf in the title.

Had a grand time with my sister staying over. I helped her find 3 great tops, all on sale today, and I got a cute on more than half off, too! Dinner w/ a free entree at Q-doba last night, and lunch at Panda Express today. Both inexpensive, and good fresh food with healthy veggies. I showed her how to find workouts on Spark TV, which she is going to try out now. I love that we share Spark, as well as a love of games.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/30/16 12:39 A

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This week has been tough emotionally, and I've been eating like a nutcase. I go back to court next week, and I'm worried. My ex has been texting veiled threats, and it sends me, emotionally, right back to where I was 2 years ago. Jerk.

Good for you getting your tags taken care of. That seems to be something I have a mental block on, and I don't understand why. Getting simple things like that taken care of before there are fines is a huge problem for me.

I've been reading Kris Radish's A Year of Necessary Lies. It is incredible, an historical novel taking place around Boston 1904, about the pluming industry and the brave people who risked so much to end the senseless killing of birds. I highly recommend it!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/26/16 12:18 A

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I renewed my tabs online--that's a relief to have off my list. I was a couple days late, but still in the expiration month, and no penalty, so emoticon

I did 3 short workouts from Spark TV and saved them to my workouts there. I've decided to be really careful about new workouts, and pledge to stop as soon as one feels uncomfortable in the future.

I've been playing with new affirmations and mantras around strengthening my abilities to plan and schedule things: I easily plan what I need to do; I'm on time with bills & when I need to renew. I artfully schedule what needs to be done; I take care of business and make time for fun.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/25/16 1:05 A

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Oh, man I hated that 30-minute barre workout ("easy on the knees") from Jessica Smith as the featured blog today. I gave up 18 minutes in, did a Coach Nicole one instead that didn't hurt shoulders, knees or anything else, even while it challenged me. Some of Smith's are OK, but this was NOT--for me. Exhausted now, didn't feel up to much of anything after that, which is really too bad.

I worked on affirmations today while taking my walking breaks around planning and scheduling, as I want to get better at those things. Need to go much easier on exercise tomorrow, and leave it until after finishing a few other tasks around the apartment.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/23/16 11:57 P

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Do you break for the summer? Is that why the extra time? Enjoy those naps! emoticon

I wrote a long blog Saturday, and feel good for having explained the issues, as I see them (especially for abuse survivors), in depth.

I switched back to the later shift--8:30 to 5:30. One of the two late people has a second part time job which had been 6-10 or 11, but then that shift got moved up to 5:30. So he moved to a shift starting at 10 and going until 3:30, so he was surviving on very little sleep. He may be young, but it was taking a real toll, so I told him I switch with him. Today was my first day back at the later start and end.

Just got done with 2 workouts, a 7-minute Booty Blaster and emoticon a 12-minute seated core routine, both by Coach Nicole. Intense, but satisfying! I'm making sure I add them to my workouts on Spark TV.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/23/16 9:51 A

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I know what you mean about the pages. I miss my simple blue background. I've found I'm avoiding my page because it doesn't feel like mine.

The girls had their Girl Scout bridging ceremony this weekend. It was really quite nice, but a ton of work! We all (the adults) laughed about how our main job was keeping etch other sane, but I can't help feeling that in my case it wasn't a joke. I spend a lot of time talking to people to keep them from panicking over silly things.

Was quite ill on Sunday. I think my body figured out I had some time off, and it took advantage. I had forgotten how wonderful napping can be, but my body basically demanded it.I'm doing much better, but I still want another nap.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/20/16 11:56 P

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I've been thinking more about the page changes and the backlash. I want to give one more shot at explaining why many of us are so upset about this--how it goes way beyond resistance to change, but about feeling safe and having a measure of creative control over your life and your presence here. And then I may have to let it go, and accept the sadness that is felt every time I go the page with my name--that doesn't feel like it's mine anymore.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/19/16 12:14 A

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Funny how different parts have tasks they really want to accomplish and make progress on. The inner growth champion had been feeling neglected, and so enjoyed the journal transcribing last evening. But the adventurer who declared she would help slay the clutter dragon and go treasure hunting in the stacked boxes didn't get her time last night, so just got to spend some time on that project tonight. Both nights I've done multiple short workouts from Spark TV, wanting to get stronger and see more progress there. It's a funny balancing act between desires and goals.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/18/16 12:13 A

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Spent a couple hours taking a required online class on Sexual Harassment policies and prevention. We have to take them periodically, but it doesn't seem that long ago I took one of the workshops. Had to take a quiz at the end and score 80%. I got 100%, because I pay attention and test well. Plus I went to the computer lab away from noise and interruptions.

I've started transcribing some of my parts journaling, as a writing project my therapist recommended to share my rather advanced work in this system with others. It's only the second time I've set aside time to work on the PJs--Parts Journal ProJect. It's fun reviewing earlier work.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/16/16 10:02 P

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Sending you very positive energy around food and court, and calm energy that's all about what you can do to impact your life in positive ways and has nothing to do with the ex. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Worked with a contractor today trying to register a Belgian company to do construction work in Washington. All sorts of issues with bond and insurance in wrong formats, the insurance company not registered in Washington state, needing to update a trade name with another agency to match bond and insurance, coverage in Euros, SSNs with 11 digits instead of 9, figuring how to enter the foreign addresses for the company and all 3 principals. It took so long that I ended up going to lunch an hour and twenty minutes late--and though I took his payment, the company can't be activated until the Contractor Registration section in HQ makes some decisions. But since the North American agent flew out from KC, MO this morning and was going back tonight, he wanted to do what he could, and finish the rest by email and phone. emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/16/16 12:43 A

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I'm glad you were able to turn your irritation around and see the silver lining. It does make life a little less stressful!

Kris Radish writes chick lit, but with a lot of humor and insight. Her best is The Elegant Gathering of White Snows, and Annie Freeman's Traveling Funeral. I think you would probably enjoy her work, since you like Debbie MacComber.

I feel like I've done nothing but eat the last few weeks, and my weight is the highest it's been since joining Spark. So, I'm trying to get it into control. I realized today that it might be due to worrying about the upcoming court date in which the kids visitation with their father will be reviewed. Also, general stress from my schedule. So I've been increasing my water intake, and this week I am working on eating fewer calories and fewer carbs (because my blood sugar is really irregular).

I'm trying to keep a journal, but my ex used to read my journals (and often destroy them) so I have really mixed emotions around that. I find myself avoiding examining those feelings by avoiding writing things down. It's a conundrum, because I kept journals for 20 years before that, and I know that if I could do it, it would be really helpful for me.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/15/16 11:33 P

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I was very annoyed with myself for forgetting a bag at my sister's yesterday with a library book and my journal--which I like to write in every day. Bless her, when I called to see if it were there, she volunteered to meet me in Federal Way (halfway between us) to switch today. She wasn't angry, but I had a hard time letting go of my irritation at myself and the unplanned trip I had to make--until I realized seeing her again today would let me give her the check I forgot to leave her on Saturday (for our season tickets), and give her a little gift I picked up yesterday sooner than I could have otherwise.

In other words, once I stopped blaming myself for being imperfect, I could see the benefits in seeing her again today--plus, hey, more sister time! So thanks, sis, for being understanding!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/13/16 11:53 P

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Spending the night with DS. The drive down was pretty bad, even leaving before 4, but I've been relaxing since I got here--except for doing some laundry--it's free and I can do small loads!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/12/16 11:11 P

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I don't know that author. What kind of books?

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/12/16 10:33 A

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I was pretty proud of myself...I got the dishes done and the counters and stove cleaned up. But my cat has suddenly started using a corner of the living room (and sometimes the couch) instead of her litterbox, so I spent quite a bit of time cleaning that up. I'm worried because I can't figure out why she's doing this. My next step is cleaning the bathroom, and I am hoping that will give me some clues to her odd behaviors lately.

Been reading Kris Radish's books lately. Always fun reads!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/11/16 11:56 P

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I hit the library after work for returns and pickups, not only got the hanging clothes off the door hook and in the closet, but switched long sleeve and short sleeve tops, since I'll be wearing more of the latter as it warms up. Also repotted 3 bright petunias I bought yesterday along with soil--and potted 2 seedlings I picked up on Earth Day--after this long, I'm not sure if they'll make it.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/8/16 9:50 P

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Glad things at work have been better, for whatever reasons. Too funny about the boys wanting to marry the new cook! emoticon

I can get excited about cleaning also--it feels great when things look better. emoticon And if the ex tries to make an issue about housecleaning, tell him if he paid more support, you could afford help!

Did laundry and got groceries today. The food is all put away, but I still need to get the clothes put away--that old Finishing element/chore! Yesterday I got my tiny kitchen floor scrubbed; I do it in about 5 sections, so I can step on parts while others are drying. And today got scrubbed the drain mat which had gotten kind of gross. Keeping up with dishes and water bottles. I reuse the bottles, but they start tasting funny unless I wash the necks or sipper top--wherever I put my mouth. I do it for monetary and environmental reasons: reusing is even greener than recycling.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/7/16 10:03 P

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That sounds a little bit like heaven to me! And I am glad that your affirmations have been making things better for you.

I've spent the week working and trying to complete my final assignment for my class. I'm paying the price for procrastinating on it, but it has been difficult to make time for it. I am really looking forward to being done with my class so that I can concentrate on paying attention to the rest of my life; my health, my home, and a much needed vacation.

My work was much less stressful this week. A lot of kids were out sick, which was a big part of it, but a couple of aggressive kids have left, and the directors office was moved, so she's much more in the thick of things (and the kids are scared of her, so they've been much more on good behavior). I hope it lasts.

We did hire a new cook at work a few weeks ago, and that has not been good for my diet, because she is an amazing cook! Last week the director actually had to ask her if she could get some lower carb options on the menu, because so many of the teachers (all of them, actually) had been gaining weight (and nearly all have issues with diabetes). She did it, and did it so deliciously that 2 of our boys (ages 3 and 4) declared that they were going to marry her when they grew up. They were devastated to find out that she was already married.

My house is such a mess that I am actually looking forward to cleaning. At one point I did make some progress on that, but in the last week it's gotten bad. Given my ex's penchant for hiring private investigators, that makes me very nervous.



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/7/16 8:38 P

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I got my order of flavored coffees from a new vendor. Can't wait to try them out: Vermont Maple Pecan, Orange Coconuts, Butterscotch Toffee Cream. Yumm! emoticon

I'm getting little cleaning projects done, a couple short workouts, a nap! emoticon Plus started season 1 of Charmed from the library--silly but entertaining. emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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5/5/16 12:09 A

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Nothing has appreciably changed at work, but my inner work is paying off, such as setting my daily intention. The last couple of days I've been staying fairly upbeat and feeling content. Wishing everyone a safe and healthy Cinco de Mayo! Ole! emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/2/16 11:50 P

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I usually just Spark in the evening, though I logged on this morning and spun the wheel, mainly because I wanted to see how hot it was supposed to get: 85 today, 73 tomorrow, 61 on Wednesday. When I got in my car around 5:45 tonight the temperature said 90, though it went down to 89 as I drove the few minutes home. Given the forecast I wore a skirt and sandals and was pretty comfortable.

Something I've done the last couple work mornings that is helping is to write out my intention for the day while journaling: to choose and share joy, to make empowering and nurturing choices, to strengthen and maintain structure. (I've actually picked the first and second or first and third so far.) I've reminded myself amidst my affirmations while taking my several daily walks at work. I think it's been helpful, and I'll continue and see what comes.

One of our annual fitness campaigns started today. I hadn't had time to read any of the emails or do any prep until today. I put up flyers and sent an email to everyone in the office, letting them know I had booklets and maps for any participants, and reminding them how to register. They've made changes from previous years that will require more work and calculating for staff, which I don't think will go over real well with folks who feel overworked. We'll see what the response is.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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5/2/16 10:09 A

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In an effort to get back on my program, I am trying to check in before work, early in the morning. Pre-coffee. That part of it may not be a great idea. I don't think my brain works yet.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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5/1/16 6:00 P

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My condolences on your cat. I hope you are able to find a few moments to relieve stress and anxiety.

I actually had a pretty good week. The school director was on vacation, so the creative director and owner were there. They saw some glaring errors in the way that the school is being run, and talked with each person individually. I think they knew I was on board before they talked to me, because they talked to everyone else first. I think they are likely to be much more hands on from now on, taking the school in a far more positive direction. The director will still be there, but as they put it, they will be fixing a lot of broken and bent links in the chain. I am excited. It won't be more money, or less work, but it will at least be more of a labor of love.

I had to go to the store and saw a huge clearance rack, and immediately thought "I need new workout clothes." I started to reject it just because of money, then realized that the reason I wanted them was because I really wanted to work out. Subconsiously, at least, I have begun to be more healthy. Since I am going back to court next month, I will need that.

Amanda, I am so glad you changed the conversation with your co-worker! Maybe this will help to create a better atmosphere in your work until you get something new.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/29/16 11:31 P

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I'm so emoticon for the loss of your kitty, and the stress of moving. With all that on your plate, I hope you are doing what you can to take care of yourself.

I took care of myself in an interesting way last night. I got a call from a work friend close to 9. She was catching me up on some of the issues raised in mediation (she's a shop steward). All the crap we deal with at work that was being discussed was getting to me. I've been striving to focus less on complaining about what's wrong at work, and I felt like I was getting overwhelmed by the negative realities, and I finally told her I really couldn't handle anymore, that I didn't want to head to bed with all that negativity weighing on me. She got it and told me I was right. She went on to suggest we set a date to get together with a former coworker and see a movie or have lunch on a weekend, and talk about everything besides work woes. I was very excited by that idea. Today after work she loved my slogan of "Choosing happiness as an act of rebellion (or defiance or liberation"--basically refusing to allow stupid, harmful or negligent decisions of management condemn us to misery.

My sister came up to meet me at work & join me for lunch. She's going on a week's vacation up in British Columbia with DH, and hadn't been able to get a couple books in a series she's reading. They were available from my library system, so she picked them up and will return them before they are due.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/29/16 3:11 P

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Chronic stress and fatigue.

Moving house in the worst possible conditions. By foot. On my own.

The camel's back is breaking.

Very few helping hands around.

And I was even robbed/deprived of the sole object of my affection, my beloved cat by perps (their cruelty knows no end).

You Go Girl!!! It's ALWAYS Worth It...

(YES, I've changed... PAIN does that to people).


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4/27/16 9:35 P

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Yesterday was pretty awful--went to work tired and crabby, so various stressors got to me more than they might have otherwise. I was pretty miserable and near tears by the time I left, and knew I needed a day off to even myself back out. I woke early to call in sick, then slept in. Did some good journaling, took care of a couple chores. And read a good Spark article, that might help me deal with work a bit better:
Find Meaning in a Job Well Done: How to Make All Your Work Rewarding & Satisfying www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellnes
s_
articles.asp?id=807


Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/26/16 12:07 A

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What a beauty! Thanks for sharing the picture. I'm glad it was a better week, and that you all enjoyed the baseball game emoticon I hope the move works out for your challenging student, and that things are a little more peaceful for you now. Glad to hear that limiting sugar is helping the youngest.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/25/16 1:16 A

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I know what you mean about the cleaning. I am trying to figure out how to clean an area and KEEP it clean while moving on to another area. I am sort of feeling like stuff has taken over my life. It's a little hard to believe that 4 years ago all I had was a change of clothes for each of us and the contents of my purse. That was when I left my husband and went to the safe house. Now, I have way too much stuff. And figuring out how to deal with it seems to bring up all kinds of anxiety for me. My grandmother was the same way, which makes me think that it's related to a hereditary form of depression. Somehow the stuff is like a security blanket. I keep wondering if I would really miss much if it disappeared.

It was actually a pretty good week. One of my more challenging students (and his brother, who was an even bigger challenge!) left the school because their mothers job was so far away that she needed to put them in a closer school. As a result, all the teachers were breathing a lot easier. I loved this kid, but he was too smart and too wild, with very little empathy for others. He really needed to be more challenged, but the 4 year old class had too many rough kids, so the teacher didn't feel she could handle an instigator, so he was stuck in the 3 year old class with kids who were far behind him.

My daughters and I had a few adventures. We went to a game for the local minor league baseball team (my oldest won tickets at school). The girls had never been to a game, and we all agreed that it was very relaxing. We are hoping to do it again soon, but without the baseball stadiums overpriced food! $6 for a bag of popcorn? No thank you! Not healthy enough anyway. My youngest is having so many issues with sugar, so we are doing our best to limit it, and it has made a difference in her behavior. She is being tested for ADHD, and I believe that changing her diet might be a key to helping her focus more.

My oldest had her first dance. The city parks department sponsors it for all the 5th graders in the city. Her friend convinced her to wear a dress (which she would never do for me, but having a 6th grader say she should made all the difference). I couldn't believe my little tomboy was so grown up!


Sadly I have to go to bed. I hope that this week I get some time midweek to do some real sparking, because my weight is up again. I know I need to make more time for myself...theres just no time to figure out when to do it!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/24/16 11:44 P

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I always enjoy seeing a play with my sister; our season tickets at the Lakewood Playhouse have allowed us to enjoy some wonderful performances. Noises Off! today was one of our favorite plays, among many excellent ones. Certainly one of the very funniest--my abs were sore from all the uproarious laughter! emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/24/16 12:44 A

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I'm enjoying Kathy Smith's short Ageless workouts, did 2 in the morning, and 1 after dinner.

Had an easy day--extended journaling, laundry, nap, a little decluttering & a new urban fantasy novel, Heart of Stone, by a new (for me) author C.E. Murphy, featuring a legal aid lawyer and a gargoyle who takes human form after sunset, but turns to stone at dawn.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/21/16 10:16 P

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In response to a member on another team who teaches high school, where a second student in one the same week just committed suicide:

Mental health really does need to be addressed more openly and be more widely accepted and encouraged as the courageous and nurturing choice for yourself and for those you love. I've been blessed with 2 great therapists, especially my current Katie. I really like her Internal Family Systems approach. She just told me again this week that I help make her a better therapist, by giving feedback about what does and doesn't work for me. Because when I can explain how a particular exercise makes me uncomfortable, resistant, threatened, not accepted, she can be pretty sure others may have problems as well (though some may love the activity) without having the self-awareness or willingness to express their discomfort or conflict.

We got through a challenging day very well. Supervisor is out for 2 days, today is her dad's funeral. One of the unit is out for a week. 2 were out sick today, and 1 was scheduled to come in for the afternoon (attending an evening workshop for Spanish-speaking customers). So only half of our 8-person team was there for more than half the day. Luckily our customers never swamped us. They came in pretty steadily, with a few breaks, and never more than 3 customers waiting (some days we have a dozen or 15 or more crowding the lobby waiting for help!), so that helped a lot. But we each kept a close eye on things, and let each other know when help was needed, and came up quickly so customers didn't get impatient. It was nice. Of course at our staff meeting yesterday, the point was raised that no matter what other tasks we're doing, none of it's more important than helping the customers who come in for assistance, and we all need to be willing to set aside those other assignments to help the ones who show up. Anyway, I send kudos by email to my 3 partners and to our 2 bosses. I like giving credit where it is due (and I took some for myself as well).
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/19/16 11:46 P

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Good session with Katie. I hadn't seen her in more than a month, and I was eager to share some of the developments in my own journaling and part work. When I left Seattle my car said it was 85. When I got to Tukwila, a few miles and 30 minutes down the road, the temp read as 90. Went up to 93 before it started going down. I scheduled my therapy appt and a massage for the same afternoon, taking 4 hours (preventive care) sick leave. As I told the massage people, I got help working on my insides and outside on the same day, so I felt well taken care of!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/17/16 9:34 P

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Yes, I'll make these little inroads of progress on the apartment, but then I'll stop and look at the stacks of boxes and clutter, and just want to break down and cry. I did clear floor space this weekend, and vacuumed, too! But then today I started emptying my old worn out and threadbare purse in favor of a new one I got on sale like 2 weeks ago, which means lots of crap on the living room floor. Useful items that fit have homes in the new purse, a bunch of stuff went into the recycling bin--but more stuff to decide on and toss or put away.

I finally did some checking online for a new cat sitter, since my last one I found right after moving here 9 years ago semi-retired, and isn't coming down this far anymore. (She lives in Seattle.) A number of the Seattle-based sitters won't travel south or out of the city. I found one with a friend in Tukwila he may hire, and put on his bond. I'll hear back after a trip of his. My next big vacation isn't until September, but I'd like to have someone I can call on, should another trip come up.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/17/16 6:08 P

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I'm back! I've had quite a week, between work - which was basically a nightmare week- the kids activities, and a homework assignment covering 5 chapters that took a lot of brain power.

I started taking my antidepressants again, some pills I had left over from my last bout, though I will need to get another prescription soon. The anxiety was just getting to be too much, and I found myself getting too worked up about situations at work, and too grumpy at night. I ended up taking a sick day Friday, which did give me time to work on some other things that had been needing to be taken care of, like checking in with the childrens court mediator and getting her contact information for the kids counselor. My ex kept texting me, blowing up my phone in pseudo-polite texts about the kids...things that if anyone else were to read wouldn't seem like much, but to me are like emotional bombs. Finally told him to knock it off or I'd contact the police, but then my oldest used my phone to text him, and the whole viscious cycle started again. Never drink and text, that's all I can say.

I also spent a week trying to help my youngest reduce the amount of sugar in her diet, since she is clearly an addict, and because I think it is effecting her studies and attention span. Our counselor suggested she may have issues with low blood sugar, since she has a fast metabolism, which might explain some of her sugar cravings, and the way she sneaks it. She had a headache for three days, and that was just from limiting candy and soda, not eliminating it! The problem is that she can get it at school, or sometimes at her friends or the babysitters. I really believe that her body may be converting it to alcohol, and given the family history of alcoholism, I want to get this in check before she's a teenager with mental issues.

I have re-read a few of Sarah Addison Allen's books this week. Peach, which is okay, though not my favorite, and The Girl Who Chased The Moon, which I quite enjoy. I had forgotten just how much I enjoy these books.

After I pick up the kids from visiting their Dad I'll finish up this weeks lesson plans. It's an Earth Day theme. I think the kids will enjoy it. The maybe I can spend a few minutes cleaning the house. It won't be truly clean, but at least I won't feel like screaming anymore!

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/17/16 12:34 A

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So sorry about the back pain. Don't know if you use Louise Hay's affirmations--I have for a number of conditions. In fact I just looked up what she says about cramps and legs, as I had a scary episode of my inner thigh/hip flexor (what you feel when sitting down and you raise your bent leg--in my case the left one) cramping last night a little before bed. The muscle would tighten painfully if I pointed or flexed my foot, so stretching didn't seem to help. Took me a while to get out of the recliner to stand and walk a little--to the bathroom to get naproxen. I also tried pressing under my nose--I saw Lilias suggest this as a remedy for foot cramps in a yoga for seniors video. I got to sleep OK last night, and managed a resistance cord workout today, plus stretching.

I did some cleaning and clearing today, plus transplanted a pretty purple hydrangea I got at TJ's a week or 2 ago into a new & bigger pot. Finished Debbie Macomber's new book which was rather sweet, and a fantasy anthology, Winter Moon, this evening. I began the third and final book in the Silk and Song series by Dana Stabenow about the granddaughter of Marco Polo and a Chinese wife who was raised in China and grew up in trader caravans, who with a ragtag band travels to Venice to meet her grandfather.



Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/15/16 7:51 P

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Feeling like the camel's back is breaking (literally).

The pain in the lower, back, back of the neck and the knee that makes my gait clikety-clop are just too much pain tu endure.

Emotional pain is a bit better, as I met someone newwilling to listen and help today.

You Go Girl!!! It's ALWAYS Worth It...

(YES, I've changed... PAIN does that to people).


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4/14/16 11:56 P

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Just read the email from my last interview (of the too bad, so sad variety--actually more gracious than that, but still "no"), which didn't bother me. But I'm upset that a friend and former coworker who applied for one of the positions at our office heard they're not filling those jobs now--news to me, and most unwelcome news!

Went in late after getting my car serviced, and learning it's time to get a rear break job. Things got very busy, then we caught up briefly, and we were slammed at the end. I was trying to finish my guy on his 3rd and 4th issues while calling headquarters multiple times, and still count out at 4:45 per supervisor's directions, but I'm the only notary scheduled past 4:30, and I notarized 2 separate customers for other CSSs, then counted out about 4:55, trying to figure out how to adjust my time for missed afternoon break.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/13/16 11:43 P

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I was tired and cranky off and on today. And I just sent an lengthy email to my supervisor explaining how frustrating it is to feel like I have to choose between offering good customer service and meeting her expectations. She's beating the "get out on time" drum again, wanting me to count out my till at 4:45 so I can leave on time at 5. It worked when she was there yesterday, but she was at an all day meeting today, and sure enough, I finished with one customer at 4:50, couldn't see anyone else available to take the final person, whose easy transaction turned into something more when I asked questions. I ended up doing more and saving him money, though that took us past 5. Normally I would have also processed an address change for him, but asked him to do that online, giving him printouts of what he'd need to do it. I left in tears, knowing I had gone the extra mile for my next to last person who was very grateful, and had made the right choice in saving my last guy money, but fully expecting to get chewed out for not following directions about counting out early. So my email explained in fair detail what went on, and concluded with my really not wanting to get jumped on tomorrow.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/11/16 11:49 P

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I'm sorry things are stressful, and you're not getting the support you need from some people. Hope that starts to turn around for you.

I see you are 3/4 of the way to your weight loss goal-- emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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4/11/16 4:00 P

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I feel bad, sad, stressed out. Misunderstood by those who should care, and ANGRY.

How painful is this life?

You Go Girl!!! It's ALWAYS Worth It...

(YES, I've changed... PAIN does that to people).


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4/10/16 11:11 P

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emoticon I'm so sorry it's been a rough week with the neighbors and counseling issues with the ex. Yeah, of course I understand your desire to find a better work situation. I'm going to be praying extra hard for this county job I just applied for today. Turns out they pay much better than the state!

I just read a Spark article that I really liked "Talk Yourself into Reaching Your Goals: How Self-Talk Can Help (or Hinder) Your Progress"
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat
io
n_articles.asp?id=838

I love what he says in his third tip (out of 4), Ditch the Drama, about overreacting to every slip: "In the course of your lifetime, youíll probably eat about 50 million calories. How much does it really matter that you ate a few hundred of them a little sooner than scheduled? Is it really going to ruin your life if it takes you an extra day or two to reach your goal weight? The one thing that can really cause problems is blowing things so out of proportion that you regularly turn small problems into major crises. The more often you do that, the more power you give to those problems, which will become reasons for giving up on yourself. You donít have to let that happen if you donít want to."

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 1,124
4/10/16 5:54 P

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I think a lot of your week mirrored mine.

I've been struggling with anxiety all week, culminating in a fairly big anxiety attack while I was driving today. I'm not sure where it is all coming from, but trying to analyze it was very difficult, as my kids seemed to be having issues this week too. We knew that this was in part because my neighbors ex-boyfriend came over to her house and argued with her. We witnessed him holding her by the wrists, restraining her, as she yelled at him to give her back her phone, and him yelling that she was a liar. I called the cops, who came quickly, but later we all talked about the memories it brought up. According to the courts, I am not allowed to talk with the kids about their father, so I tried to re-direct their thoughts, but I brought it up to the therapist Saturday.

The therapist had me bring in all my court paperwork since the kids dad had been in touch with her and made an appointment with her. He claims he is supposed to have family therapy with her and the kids. She talked to the kids about it, but I think they were adamant about not having counseling with him at this time. He has made appointments with her before, but not shown up, so I am thinking he is just manipulating the situation, but I am still overwhelmed by the fear that this will no longer be a safe place for their emotions. Sara especially needs this, as she has a lot of anger and fear, and a need for attention. She is slightly hyperactive, and becomes very agitated when she feels disturbed or angry. Being alone with him in the waiting room while Sophia talks to the doctor would not be emotionally safe for her. Physically it would be okay, but not emotionally.

I'm sorry if that brings up trauma for anyone reading this.

I have, however, rediscovered an author that I came across many years ago, and whose book "Garden Spells" got me through many rough times. Sarah Addison Allen. If you like reality mixed with touches of magic, she is the queen.

I have a co-worker that reminds me of the one you wrote about. The thing is, she does know a lot, but when I seek her help she sort of acts like I'm an idiot for not already knowing it. I have mentioned a few times that I am new to teaching, but she still acts like it's a huge issue to answer questions. And she has a tendency to act like she knows a lot about everything, but I've recently caught her in a lot of wrong answers. For example, she lists things that we have planted on the playground when I mentioned a few things I wish we had there. "Oh it's planted right there!" I went searching and realized she had no idea what these plants really are. She kept motioning to the jasmine and calling it rosemary, and things like that. I may not be a great gardener, but I know my herbs and these were not what she was calling them. Yet she pronounces it in such a way that no one argues with it.

I think I'm going to start looking to work with a different place, preferably a government run preschool. There is just too much stress and employee turnover where I am at.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/10/16 12:32 A

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Posted in the Spark resources and What are you reading threads tonight. Hope you are all having a good weekend.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/8/16 12:32 A

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My manager (supervisor's boss), came by at my request and we talked. He assured me the other person isn't being "groomed" for the lead position--since we aren't getting one after all. He also assured me that discussions about where people will move to make room for 2 new employees "is not set in stone." So just because there was talk of moving a certain person to the desk in the back where the supervisor had been (she will move off the floor and back to an office)--which the individual would like as she tends to act as if she is in charge, and would like to be seen as "taking the place" of the supervisor, that may not happen. I urged him to make other arrangements, as there is already resentment about special treatment, and this would further distance her from the unit and the common work, so she could pursue what she likes to do--and play on her electronic devises even more than she currently does--which would create more separation and ill will. We'll see what happens with it all. I was assured he "heard" me, and he will listen to what others may have to say.

Attended an interesting meeting at work today, which I want to reflect on more, and share about later. Much warmer temps today. I exercised at home in shorts and a tank.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/5/16 11:17 P

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We did learn a lot. I'm just glad my supervisor was driving, not me, as traffic was *really* bad coming back. I've had a headache since returning. Some of that may be some overload of new information, plus dealing with one of my least favorite coworkers--a very strong-willed, opinionated person who's very loud and likes to run things. She does know a lot and is willing to help--and then makes a big deal about how busy she is and how everyone keeps asking her questions, and she has to "train" everybody. They've talked about creating a lead/trainer position--which I will go for, and this other individual likes to behave as if she already is in charge. It's very wearing. I don't want to tear her down, but I don't appreciate someone always promoting themself, and never bothering to applaud the contributions or progress of others.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/5/16 12:35 A

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Hennaed tonight after work; hope my damp hair won't dry to weird when I go to bed. I got the tax materials from this weekend put away in files. Tomorrow I'm going with my supervisor and the other sales auditor to the Everett office to see how they handle a number of processes, including cash transactions. They have as many CSSs as we do, with about the same number of customers, but only 2 of their 8 staff handle cash, while we have 6 cash tills shared by 8 people to count every day. I want to see how they do it! It should be interesting.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/3/16 10:36 P

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Great phrase "shucky-darn, boo-hoo" emoticon

I had a brief PTS episode yesterday while trying to get our 6-Pack reservation made. The price per night had sounded really good. And then they recommended this insurance for a fee, and then that one--which was maybe required, and I started to worry that they were trying to take advantage of me, and make me pay for things I didn't need--but maybe I did, and I didn't trust my own knowledge and judgement. And the panic of feeling small and helpless, not knowing enough to stay safe crashed over me, and I had to call my big sister in tears for help. Bless Mary for taking over the decision making about what fees were appropriate, and completing the reservation process.
emoticon
I settled a little, then went back to work on my taxes with the instructions for downloading the last document I needed re $56 in dividends & $16 in withholding. After some fumbling, I figured where to plug in those numbers. Then to finish, I managed to find a security pin # the IRS had mailed me, but couldn't locate an e-filing PIN # I had when I began a couple weeks ago. After some tears of frustration, I got that # from the IRS site, replaced my printer ink cartridge so I could print a copy of my return, and figured out how to pay my $12 tax bill electronically. Success--and big relief!
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I was proud that while I let myself recognize and acknowledge all those scary feelings that got churned up, I didn't let them overwhelm me. I showered and dressed so I could walk over to the office and pay my rent on time. I read and cuddled with my plush CB (Cuddle Bear), and generally self-soothed. I managed a few small chores around the apartment, and I didn't pacify with excessive snacking or computer games. So proud of exercising good self-care.
emoticon
Today I got my hair trimmed and got groceries. While at Penney's, where my stylist works, I picked up a top and a lightweight summer sweater--both on sale. At home, I ordered the new Others novel by Anne Bishop (the price went down $1 on the hardcover) & renewed my B&N membership (free express shipping!). I used a 20 % coupon and a B3G1F sale at Bath and Body Works on one of their retired scents I like, for a shower gel, lotion and body mist in White Tea & Ginger. Then I realized I forgot to use my B&N gift card, so I ordered the first 3 novels in used hardcovers, and only paid $11 which covered shipping for their marketplace vendors. So I've used up the last of my birthday and Christmas money and gift cards, and have fun stuff that will be arriving over the next week or two.
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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4/2/16 4:01 P

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Have you ever read Patricia Wrede's Across the Great Barrier series? It starts with the 13th child. It sort of mirrors North America in the 1800's, if magic were present. It's a young adult series, but I think you would really enjoy it.

Today is Sophia appreciation Day...to celebrate for my oldest, who hasn't had a birthday party in a long time. Then in 2 weeks we will have a party for my youngest, who turned 8 this week. I am glad I got my tax money, because parties...especially the food...get pricey. And exhausting!

I'm trying to get back on my food plan so that I am not so achy, and I'm planning to see a doctor soon. Initially I wanted to go about my hands, but my knees have been achy lately too, so i am feeling more urgency. Only problem is that I will have to take a day off work for it. Oh, shucky-darn, boo-hoo.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/2/16 12:11 A

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I've enjoyed some MK Andrews books. Right now I'm inhaling a series of urban fantasy novels by Anne Bishop. I can't believe how rich they are in character development & plot. I've gotten the first 3 from the library, but am way down the list for #4 which only came out on 3/8. May buy that one new, then the others used, as I think these will be a reread every so often, as with the Mercy Thompson and Harry Dresden novels.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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4/1/16 12:43 A

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Wow, you have had a busy few weeks! Sounds like you have gone a long way towards getting out of your job.

I've done some lurking, but I've had a hard time getting focused lately. I'm having some issues with joint pain that I don't really understand, but I'm pretty sure that it's half due to age and weight, and half to something I don't know about yet.

My schedule has changed a lot at work. I like a lot of the changes, and keep hoping they are permanant. I now teach the 3 year olds in the morning, then work with the babies in the afternoon, My youngest student is 2 months old. She was a preemie, weighed in at 3 lbs at birth, and is now up to 5.5 lbs. So basically, she weighs less than my cat.

I am finding it very difficult to work with low income students, many of whom have a heartbreaking story. There are some real behavioral problems that are not solved by telling a kid "Don't do that, that's not kind." I think kids need to know that there are consequences for behaviors, but modern teaching standards don't seem to agree with punishments. So, I worry a lot about how to change the behaviors of my students.

And then I eat.

I did read a good Mary Kay Andrews book. Her stuff is sort of romantic chick lit, and humorous, so I don't get too sickened by the romance. She makes me laugh, at least.

Today was my daughters 8th birthday. Where does the time go?

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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4/1/16 12:10 A

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Gave blood this morning, and I'm really wiped now. I'll be heading to bed soon. Finished book 2 of The Others, Murder of Crows. Began #3, Vision in Silver over dinner.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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3/29/16 11:50 P

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It was quite a busy day at work. It was my day at the counter (we have 4 of 8 assigned to cover the counter each day, on days you aren't assigned, you cover phone calls and get to all your other assigned work), so I spent very little time at my desk. I barely managed to record my name, new password and phone greeting for the new phone system going in tonight. We didn't get the cake Mel picked up out until later in the afternoon--but that gave me time to collect signatures on a cute belated card starting at lunch. Anela enjoyed the cake, coconut-scented lotion and cute flowered hair clips. That was fun to make a fuss--makes me really appreciate the folks who no longer work with us who used to organize all the birthday dos!
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Not sure why I was so tired when I got home, but I went ahead and laid down and napped for a little over an hour. I'll see if I'm sleepy at my regular bedtime tonight.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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3/29/16 12:51 A

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So I hit the mall after work, got a purse for me on sale, with a Penney's gift card, thanks to DS and BIL. (My old one was getting frazzled and frayed! I also hit Claire's and got a couple colorful and glittery flowery hair clips for a coworker who's part Hawaiian and likes to wear them. We missed her birthday, so I've been working with my buddy to do something nice. I have a belated BD card, and got a free travel size of a BBW new Hawaiian themed scent--coconut hand cream, and Melanie has the kind of cake she requested.

We couldn't pull it all together for today, which is good, because there was a surprise training thrown at us today--one more project one of the programs wants Customer Service to take on to help them catch up due to their staffing issues. (When the state pays much less than the private sector, it's hard to hold onto employees.) We knew a bigwig (something like #3 in the agency) was coming, and it turns out he met with all of us plus our supervisor, manager, regional manager, IT and a management analyst. Word is on employee surveys our region got especially low marks regarding management, so central office wants to figure out what's going on or do damage control. As usual, nothing concrete from him, but I think he heard some of our extreme frustration. We'll have to wait and see if anything happens as a result.

One surprise I learned today is that we are actually hiring 2 more people for our unit--the most we've ever had, which might actually be adequate staffing once they are hired and trained. They tried to tell us 6 was fully staffed, but we told them " emoticon no"; even the 8 we've had for a few months now isn't enough. But 10--just maybe.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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3/28/16 12:19 A

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My sister Mary and I met halfway between us in Federal Way for lunch and a game. Ivar's let me use a birthday half-off coupon on my shrimp salad, even though it was past the 2 weeks, so the cup of smoked salmon chowder was essentially free--and yummy!
emoticon
Turns out the whole mall was closed for Easter, so I couldn't do the shopping I had hoped for, but I picked up a couple things at Trader Joe's before driving home.
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I finished the novel I was reading, Written in Red, which was fantastic! I've requested the other 3 in the series, but since the fourth one was only published this month, I was number 66, with 21 copies. I may end up buying it first. I checked out some good prices for used hardcovers of each title. Haven't decided yet.
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I took the Wellness assessment for Smart Health, the wellness initiative for state employees. I hadn't logged in this year at all, and I only had until 3/31 to collect my 800 points--or the extra hundred "Early Bird" bonus. Then I signed up for some challenges, copied my Spark activity tracking, and have now earned ~ 1600 of the 2000 I need to earn next year's discount.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (159,717)
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Posts: 11,673
3/27/16 12:08 A

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I was checking my bank account balance, and thinking it was more than I expected to have. I suddenly had a panicked thought "Did I make my car loan payment?" (I arranged to pay that out of the payday on the 10th, while rent comes out of the one on the 25th.) I checked, and no, I hadn't! I called but their customer service number didn't answer on weekends, and I just didn't want to mail it without talking to someone. I checked online for branches (I've been mailing all my payments to Tacoma), and found one in Tukwila, with Saturday morning hours! So I went there first, then to Costco for gas and a few groceries, since I had checked the list I made for myself, and sure enough, Easter is one of the 7 days each year they are closed. I also dropped off a bag of donations, and picked up a couple items at Target.

I did some deep cleaning and arranging of a couple small areas in pantry and kitchen, which felt very productive. Also did more than 15 minutes of table/paper sorting. Babysteps!

Oh, and I started a new book by an author I have not read before: Written in Red by Anne Bishop. I discuss it more in the reading thread. Totally enjoying it!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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