I have had that feeling before, usually in a store or on an outing of some kind. I found the solution that works for me is to restrict fluids for an hour before I leave, and then tinkle just before I leave the house.
I can fake myself out like this because when I get the signal I know there is nothing there and I am not afraid of leaking. I have gradually extended my time away like this.
This is my solution and it does not always work but I think with me, half the time it is habit and not a muscle problem. Maybe it will help you to try and condition yourself like this.
"I have to admit that showing up for my own life feels better than mindless thinking it will somehow all work out." (SP friend, IDEBORAH)
I quit smoking 3/19/09 at 8:30 pm with tons of Spark support.
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