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MRSFIXIT's Photo MRSFIXIT SparkPoints: (0)
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6/30/08 11:34 P

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That's pretty much the way I see things. It's been so long since I've been content with my life that I just can't see risking that contentment unless it's actually necessary for survival, & right now, it isn't.

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

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PSUKELLBELL's Photo PSUKELLBELL SparkPoints: (17,670)
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6/30/08 7:57 P

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I know I'm way late in replying, but I think you made the right decision Donna. I have a friend whose goal in life was to make $100,000 a year by the time he was 30, and was disappointed in himself when he was only making $97,000 at 29. When I asked him if he enjoys his work, he didn't really know what to say. He basically said he works for the money but doesn't really care about what he does.

I make significantly less than that; however, I LOVE my job. My boyfriend (who has a GED) makes about the same as me (with a BS in psychology). The difference is that he always talks about wanting to quit his job, and I look forward to going to work everyday. Some may say that I am "wasting" my Penn State education by working for peanuts, but I feel that my education is invaluable because I am able to do something that I love and actually makes a difference in others lives.

Do what you love. If you find a job in computer programming and that is what you want to do, go for it. If you are happier staying at home and taking care of things, and you can afford to live on your husbands income, then I think you should continue doing that. You are in the unique position of being able to be extremely choosy about taking a job. If you find one that you know you will truly enjoy going to work everyday (the kind of job that doesn't even feel like work because you're having fun!), then apply. If not, keep on doing what you're doing.

Kelly from PA

"Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals."
~Jim Rohn


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CACOSTA's Photo CACOSTA Posts: 2,460
6/22/08 10:46 P

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Well Donna,
The way I see it, God was looking out for you and this was his way of letting you know, that this was not the right job for you. I have been keeping you in my prayers and praying that you would be led to choose the work that God has intened for you.
Hugs to you,
Carolyn

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“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness…never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”
MRSFIXIT's Photo MRSFIXIT SparkPoints: (0)
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6/21/08 1:46 A

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Actually, the job was filled with a notice on the board at work BEFORE the letter even reached me! Apparently, nobody at that company talks to anyone else!

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

home.roadrunner.com/~andydonna


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CACOSTA's Photo CACOSTA Posts: 2,460
6/21/08 12:27 A

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Donna,
I am late in the game here since I was out of town. Did you interview? How did it go?
Carolyn

“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness…never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”
WILDEMOON's Photo WILDEMOON Posts: 3,078
6/17/08 2:09 P

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I'd second the idea of going through the interview process. Get a feel for the company and the job. Ask them about how hectic/stressful it is. See how you feel once you know more. It may end up being a wonderful position with a company that really makes you feel good and comfortable. If not? It may not be worth it and you may want to see about upping your earnings with the eBay business instead. Of course, that could be good extra side cash whether this works out or not.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

www.biteyourtongue.net/daydream


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ENILLA's Photo ENILLA SparkPoints: (16,337)
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6/17/08 9:39 A

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Great attitude indeed Donna! When I am nearing 50, I hope to be able to consider early retirement myself.

~E

Visit my site/blog at:

elwilliamsinfo.weebly.com



***Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God, will
come to know God because they know you.~Unknown***

***I don't expect perfection just perfect effort~EL Williams***

***Shake off the cobwebs of despair and dance in the sunlight of happiness~Terri Lynn***





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MACHELLE1971's Photo MACHELLE1971 Posts: 257
6/16/08 9:21 P

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great attitude, and way to think about life and back to what someone said , about being the happiest they ever where when they made the least, i agree more money always comes with the traps more hours left time with family and more stress which cause for more cost , ready made food, an impulse shopping and i could go on, your doing the right thing enjoy each day
machelle

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MRSFIXIT's Photo MRSFIXIT SparkPoints: (0)
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6/16/08 4:38 P

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I had posted my original post on another of my teams, & I'm hearing the same basic comments there as I am here. When I think back on most of my computer jobs, I know there was a lot of stress. The money was great, the benefits were great, & even most of the people were great, but there was a lot of stress. For one thing, I had to be on-call, usually on a rotating basis, but in some cases, all of the time. This usually meant carrying a pager. I remember feeling my blood pressure going up whenever I heard any beeping. That's also how I felt about the phone ringing (even at home) when I worked for the county. I alternated phone duty with one other person. I spent a total of 3 1/2 hours on phones & would get 70 to 80 calls in that time. It drove me nuts!

I enjoy being home all day. I can do the housework by myself, work on landscaping my property, run the eBay business, spend extra time with DH, runs errands, sleep whenever I'm able (I hope this perimenopause-can't-sleep thing doesn't last for 10 years!), work out whenever it seems best, do projects, sort & declutter, & be able to help my 80-year-old Mom when needed. If I'm feeling stressed, it's usually pretty easy to get away from whatever's stressing me. I suppose money will always be a concern. A couple of years of making good money would be a HUGE help financially, but I'm not sure it would help in any other areas of my life.

For those who don't know, I went through breast cancer treatment 2 years ago. I was very fortunate to catch it early, so I only needed a lumpectomy & irradiation (no chemo, no hormones). I left the part-time admin job I had at that time because I couldn't work out doctors' appointments, let alone the surgery & recovery. I only got 5 vacation days a year! If I could have made up the time spent on the appointments, I probably would have stayed with the job, even though it wasn't what I wanted to do, & in a way, I guess it's good that I left because it was starting to get to me.

The thing is, however, that the whole situation made me think about my life in general. My Dad died at the age of 59 from prostrate cancer. He always talked about retiring & what he wanted to do, but never got that chance. I'm going to be 50 soon, & I was born on his birthday, so I'm always comparing my life to his, especially since I've also now gone through cancer. (And his brother died from prostrate cancer when he was 54, & their mother died from ovarian cancer at the age of 32.) If I work now & save for retirement, but don't live that long, what's the sense? So I've decided that I want to live NOW. This is the time to be happy -- not hope to be happy in the future, right?

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

home.roadrunner.com/~andydonna


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ENILLA's Photo ENILLA SparkPoints: (16,337)
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6/16/08 9:46 A

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I know I am replying late but six years ago I left a very high level high stress job because I WAS MISERABLE! Miserable is putting it mildly. My DH did NOT want me to leave the job because of the money...when I held that position, I basically paid all the bills and he spent his paycheck at his leisure so of course he didn't want that to change. After dealing with an unbelievable amount of stress for over 2 years, I got to the point where I would have a panic attack at the thought of going into work. I was susceptible to every ailment known to man One day, while out ill, my doctor starts talking to me about my illness. When she mentioned work, the panic attack started. She put me on leave and anti-depressants. She encouraged me to really review whether the stress was worth the money. I was on leave for just over 2 months, receiving only 60% of my normal wages. When the world didn't stop spinning, I told DH I wanted to quit the job. We reviewed the budget and realized we could live off of what he made so my income was not necessary IF he applied his income to the household budget. I went back to work and gave them my notice. IT FELT GREAT! I had applied with the school system for a part-time job so I would have health insurance and some income. My last day at work, I received a call from the schools offering me a position. The position paid about 1/2 of what I was making BUT it was TOTALLY STRESS FREE!!

I walked away from that high level position and NEVER LOOKED BACK! The money was NOT worth it!!! And I only worked the lower paying job for six months before the district recognized I was grossly under-employed and promoted me...I now have a position making more than the stressful job!!

Moral of my post...IT IS NOT WORTH IT! The happiest I've been in my life is actually when I had the least amount of money.

~E

Visit my site/blog at:

elwilliamsinfo.weebly.com



***Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God, will
come to know God because they know you.~Unknown***

***I don't expect perfection just perfect effort~EL Williams***

***Shake off the cobwebs of despair and dance in the sunlight of happiness~Terri Lynn***





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MACHELLE1971's Photo MACHELLE1971 Posts: 257
6/15/08 5:56 P

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i think you are happy right where you are in life and with what you do you seem content and at peace why stir that all up for what ifs, i believe if it is for you it will knock on your door meaning always have your eyes open and the perfect job will come to you when its time but we cant live our lives on what if, hubby job goes down what if gas goes to ten bucks a gallon and so forth you are doing your part and seems like everyone including hubby is happy with what your doing so enjoy you life today for today and let tomorrow take care of itself

GOT TO LEARN TO LOVE YOUR SELF


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MRSFIXIT's Photo MRSFIXIT SparkPoints: (0)
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6/15/08 1:12 A

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This is un-friggin-believable! DH went to work today & told me the head of that department posted a notice (dated 6/9) that the position had been filled! I'm sure glad I hadn't stayed up last night to fill out that application! That letter must have been sent AFTER the notice went up! The person they hired has an accounting degree! So much for them wanting an engineer with a lot of programming experience!

The situation has forced me to think, however. On the plus side, the money would have been nice & would take a lot of pressure off DH to pay the bills. I would have had a retirement plan. I'd be back in my field, programming. But on the flip side, I still have the IBS condition & sleep issues, so ANY job outside of the house would mean dealing with these problems. I'd be back to trying to get help from DH with the housework, meals, & so on. I wouldn't be available for doctor's appointments (mine or Mom's), to run errands, or to go on vacation when DH is available. DH & I wouldn't have much time together, which is hard to do now with me at home all day! I also doubt I'd have time for the gardening & certainly not for all the projects I want to do!

Like I stated in the title of my post, it really all boils down to money versus contentment. I told DH I can't keep hashing out this scenario. I'm either going to go back to work & actively look for a new job or I'm going to make this work-from-home situation successful. Right now, the eBay money isn't that important because DH has been doing really well in the shop. Once the business slacks off, as it does periodically, it could be a problem. This is why I push him to locate the inventory we want to list on eBay on a regular basis. I think he won't see this, however, until we're actually in that situation. Anyway, I decided it's best for me to be home, & DH agrees. He actually didn't want me to pursue the job, so the fact that it was already filled was a good thing, I guess. And it's made me re-think my situation & confirm that this is what I want to do.

Thanks for the input & letting me vent about this!

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

home.roadrunner.com/~andydonna


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POMELO Posts: 144
6/14/08 4:31 P

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I would certainly apply and go through the interview process. If offered, I would take the job but before I did, I would certainly ask questions as to how come they left it unfilled for so long except with the temporary staff person. Also what, if anything, can they tell you about the guy who left so suddenly and his lack of fit or job satisfaction. Perhaps you can look up this person and speak to him directly?

Working part time does have many advantages but you have already acknowledged the disadvantages.

Nenke

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6/14/08 3:46 P

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Beware: this is long!

A little background: I have a bachelor's in computer science & about 20 years of experience with computer programming, systems analysis, & all that goes with this. I lost my last computer job back in 2002 & have not been able to find another one since, mostly due to these jobs going overseas. DH works a full-time job with benefits & makes a decent living. He also runs a part-time business (automotive repair to include motorcycles, RV's, lawn mowers, tractors, pretty much anything with a motor!). I've been trying to find another job in my field, but figured in the meanwhile I would just take an admin job. But the pay is terrible, & I really don't like the work.

I finally decided to take a civil service position, & accepted a job with the county's probation department. I thought that if I got my foot in the door, I could end up in their computer department, but I quickly found out that it's filled with a lot of testosterone, & they want to keep it that way! (Nothing you could ever really prove!) I also figured this would at least give me a retirement package. Well, I absolutely HATED this job! Dealing with the "best" of the public meant dealing with filth, stink, stupidity (which I don't tolerate well), & sickness. It was incredible, but people would walk up the stairs, come to my window, huffing & puffing, & either breathe in my face, cough in my face, or sneeze in my face! I had 6 colds last winter, & the day I left that job, I was at the beginning of the flu, which kept me sick for 2 1/2 weeks! (I honestly don't remember EVER being so sick in my life!)

DH & I had spent a lot of time talking about my work situation. I just wasn't happy in any admin job I had, & constantly being sick was really doing me in. This is when we decided that I would quit that job (in March) & start an eBay business, selling parts through his part-time business. This has been very, very slow, but there's still potential for it to really take off. I've been looking forward to having my summers off, gardening, not driving in the winters, being able to tackle some projects (fun ones, too, like genealogy), & have been able to keep up with the household tasks, our budgets, & so on. All in all, I've been quite content.

Okay, so back at the beginning of February, while I was still working in the job I hated, I applied for a job at DH's company. Now, I've been trying to get into this company since 1983 (the year before I graduated from college). My mother is retired from there, my brother works there, my BIL works there, & I've had numerous other family members who have worked there. I've applied for a Systems Analyst job twice & was interviewed both times. The first time I was still in college, & they wanted experience. The second time, the position was never filled. I've applied for numerous other non-computer jobs & had 2 interviews out of them. The first time, I was told I was over-qualified & wouldn't be happy in the job. (Seems like that should have been MY call!) The 2nd time was the interview from he!!, which is now their "standard format" for all office interviews. In the end, that position was filled with some young girl with hardly any experience. (I guess what they really wanted was the "young & dumb".) Three summers ago, I left a part-time admin job to take a summer help job with this company to start their newsletter. It was a position that was actually created for me. In the end, they couldn't get approval to make it a permanent position, so I went back to the part-time admin job.

This newest job that I applied for back in February, was for a "Manufacturing Analyst". They listed the job as preferring an engineer (which I'm not) who does extensive coding. Personally, I think they'll get one or the other, but not both, & I understand that the job is mostly programming. Now the really weird thing is that the guy who was doing the job, who I knew from the summer I worked there, seemed to be a really nice, easy-going guy. Well, the story goes: he went home for lunch one day & never came back -- no resignation letter, no phone call, & he didn't even pack up his office. In fact, he had presents on his desk he had just gotten for Christmas from co-workers (so he left in December). I haven't heard "boo" on this job since I applied for it. About a month ago, one of the women who works in that department came to the house with her boyfriend (my brother's boss) because DH was working on his truck. I talked to her about this, & she said nobody knows why the prior guy left, & they had a temp filling the position.

Well, yesterday I got a letter in the mail from this company, asking me to fill out their extensive employment application & return it at my earliest convenience. So here I am. I wonder WHY the previous guy left. I wonder if the temp is leaving, so they now want to fill this position immediately, or do they want to hire him, but want some other people to interview to "have the numbers" (& remember that this is the "interview from he!!" I previously mentioned). DH tells me he thinks it could be a very bad job. The woman who was here that works in that department is known to be a b****! She yells, slams things on her desk, & so on. It could, however, also be the ideal job for me. It puts me close to home, back in my chosen profession, making a decent living, & giving me a retirement package.

But, really, the ONLY reason I can see to take a job, ANY job, outside of the house at this point is for money, which includes the retirement plan. I'm going to be 50 in about 3 weeks, & I have NO retirement! I guess I can't plan on social security to be there for me, even though I've paid into it for so many years. The money would be nice as it does pay well. It would take some pressure off DH to cover the bills. On the other hand, as I've already stated, I've been pretty content lately. I'm always busy, too. I was telling DH last night that the money would be nice, but I'm just not sure it's worth it. I clean the house, garden, do laundry, cook meals, budget the money, & have a number of other things going on at any given time. I'm also available to take Mom to a doctor's appointment if needed, run errands, go on vacation whenever DH is free, & so on. I really don't have a lot of "extra" time. I also have IBS, which can be an issue if an attack hits, which then means sick time with no notice. I haven't found all of my triggers, but high-fat foods, milk, & stress are definites! If this were a stressul job, it wouldn't work for me.

So what do I do? What would you do? Right now, DH is paying the bills (which we've cut down drastically in the past 2 years) with little or no problem, but if his shop business slows down, it could be an issue. Still, there's the eBay business because we really haven't put a lot of effort into it yet, mostly due to DH being busy with the business & both of us being busy with all of the other things we have going on. I've been wondering if I could "make" my own retirement plan by putting some eBay earnings (eventually) into the plan I had just started with the county, but I don't know if this is possible. (It's a Hartford Mutual Fund.) The money is really the issue: can I really afford to let this opportunity to pass by. Of course, it's still VERY possible I would simply be a number so that those in power could say they interviewed "x" number of people before deciding to make the temp a permanent employee. And I would be giving up this new-found contentment. I'm just torn!

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

home.roadrunner.com/~andydonna


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