I agree with all the other post, that you should not have to pay him to do things that should be done. I also think that you need to have a serious talk with your husband about undermining you. My husband and I have an agreement. If one of us makes a rule that the other doesn't like or a decision that the other doesn't like we talk about in private. When he undermines you it gives your son the impression that what you say doesn't matter, because he can go to dad and get what he wants. Good Luck
Edited by: TIME_TO_SHINE1 at: 6/27/2013 (14:49)
100% of the shots you don't take don't go in.
current weight: 267.0
Fitness Minutes: (2,814) Posts: 2,373 6/19/13 3:52 P
We recently started doing that and it is working well. They need to be dressed, teeth brushed, and chores completed BEFORE they turn on any screens. If they turn it on even for a second, well, no more for the rest of the day. Don't let them say "oh, I forgot" or "I thought you meant" these are just excuses. Amazingly enough, if you stick to it. The seem to "remember" to do everything after only a day or two.
I absolutely agree with you about not paying for what is expected of a family member, and taking care of the dog is well within the boundaries of what might be expected. You might try having your son "earn" screen time (a privilege and not a right) by walking the dog before it's turned on. Any time the screen is on and the dog has not been walked (and watered and fed) would mean no screens for the rest of the day. New day; new opportunity. I sure wish you the best with this!
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
My 12 year old son, Alex, 2 years ago wanted a dog. He asked and asked and asked until my husband finally caved in and said yes (we have 2 cats). I didn't want another animal because we have the cats and felt it was enough. Finally, said I wanted something small like a Boston terrier, we got a lab and named him Snickers. Well, now being 12 Alex wants to watch YouTube and play PS3 instead of taking care of Snickers.
Today I hit my limit of asking/forcing him to take care of Snickers. I finally got frustrated of asking Alex to take him for a walk and told Alex if he wasn't going to take him for a walk I would and he would sit at the table while I was gone. I further took the computer and PS3 away for a week and told him if this continues, he would be writing sentences (for him a fate worse than death).
My husband doesn't believe that we should have to pay him to do what he is expected to do and tends to under mind anything I set up. I want some creative ideas to help "encourage" him to do what he is expected to do. I don't want this fight all summer and don't want to battle my husband over supporting me (he gets mad at me when I give him any sort of feedback.)
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