I hope things are better by now but I found nothing works better then deducting or taking away their money...boy does that get their attention and they are in therapy every week but when I deduct from their allowance because they are rude or disrespectful it quickly changes things...I used to take away electronics and other things but they figured out eventually they would get it back but once their money was gone it was gone
If You're tired or starting over stop giving up
Tema - Matteson IL
"Tenacity is the quality displayed by someone who just won't quit -- who keeps trying until they reach their goal. Anything really worth doing takes persistence, perseverance, and stubborn determination! I AM a Tenacious Jungle Tiger and these are my survival skills!!"
Does he have or could you get him a male mentor? Sometimes having a man listen and give advice helps boys. The Big Brothers program, Boys and Girls Club or even some of the local businesses have mentoring programs.
I would agree that consequences at home for his behavior is warranted. No video games or music or what ever will get his attention. (I saw a huge change in my 14 year old son when he couldn't play his video games for a week. He had disrupted the class.)
Firm, but fair is what I try to be. Hang in there and good luck.
It sounds like he is trying to gain control for whatever reason. I think all you can really do is be firm and let him know there are consequences for his actions at home as well as the school punishment. A long talk usually does not work with teens because they just think we are nagging and that we "just don't understand". Keep it simple---remind him that behavior will not be tolerated. Avoid arguing. And make sure you are still praising all the things he IS doing right. Make sure you are spending quality time with him so that your relationship can be strong. Kids open up at the least expected times and it's almost never when they are being scolded about what they are doing wrong. As I write this, it reminds me to take my own advice, because it's so easy to get irrate when they backtalk. (Mostly my teenage girl problem, but I have a teenage boy also)
OMG!!!! It's so hard to be a parent these days. I don't know if I have a solution for you since my son's problems are little different. But, I do want you to know that every parent sooner or later will have issues with kids and will not know what to do.
You know when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my mother was so shocked I was having another one. She kept telling how hard it would be and that I (only child) was more than enough for her and I was a good child. I had no idea what she was talking about until my kids became teenagers.
Teenagers think they know everything and they can handle everything. But, they can't. Have you considered counseling to show your son how to handle stress and pressure? Even school counselor might help for free. Maybe someone can show him how to talk to teachers when they are on him? I am pretty sure it won't work if you try to talk to him, but he might listen if someone else talks to him. Does he have older cousins? I know kids love to listen to older high school age kids. Maybe school can recommend someone.
I hope this works out for you. Good luck.
Olga ~~~~~~~~~~ It maybe too late to go back and make a new start, but it's not too late to make a new ending.
In the past he would get in trouble and get in school suspension. This school year he has had no trouble, that is until yesterday. Anthony got into a confrontation at school Monday. It was at the end of the day. He was leaving the support services when the teachers tried to stop him from leaving. He grabbed one teacher by the arm and left a bruise. He then threatened to hit her and used a few swear words. He got on the bus and came home. He was calm when he came home. His teacher called and told me about the incident and said that I will need to come in to see the teachers in the morning. He may be home from school tomorrow. We will be meeting at 8:30 in the morning at Swanson. This is the first incident this school year. I saw the teacher and he now has in school suspension. He is lucky that they did not call the police. If he does this again they will. He is 12, and 5" 8'. I am a single parent and don't know what to do with him. thanks.
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