One of the tools I found helpful to get kids to do chores properly is to use a procedure manual, break the task down to steps. Clean Living Room, 1) Remove items that do not belong in room, 2) Dust, 3) Vacuum, 4)Dust Living Room. Break each item on list to baby steps, Dust 1) Get dust rag from cabinet, 2) Wipe down lamp on end table, 3) Dust top of end table, dust under lamp. 4) Dust sides of end table. I put each procedure page in a page proctor, and then in a household manual. When the chore is assigned the kid gets the procedure for the task and it is up to him to follow it. Save the original on your computer, if something changes you can make the change and keep the manual updated easily. There is no room for argument, it is clear what the expectations are. Let's face it kids will complain and try to resist change, unless they can see the benefit to them. It take time to do the manual, you can do one task for each child one week and then build on it until they have procedures for every task in the house. It really does work.
I also work full time, have 2 teenagers and a husband who works long hours. My kids also are not very good at school. I always have to be on them to do their homework, project or just study.
However, you can tell your kids and husband to clean up, but it takes times to get them trained. I would talk to your husband and get him on board to train your kids to help out. They are big enough to do chores. I actually went back to work when my kids were 5 and 3, so I had plenty of training time. But, it took years of reminding for the kids to do chores on their own. But, stick with it. It will be good for the kids in the future.
There are days when I get home after work and just go on the treadmill. I tell the kids, it's "me" time and that's that. Sometimes, we working moms just need some time to our selves.
Olga ~~~~~~~~~~ It maybe too late to go back and make a new start, but it's not too late to make a new ending.
~~~~~~~~~~ I eat to live. I don't live to eat.
Fitness Minutes: (16) Posts: 1 4/25/12 11:30 A
Just going back to work full time and having to train your family, you might want to visit flylady.com (fly = finally loving yourself). She's got lots of tips on how to keep things moving and train the family.
Fitness Minutes: (59,529) Posts: 34,045 4/25/12 10:18 A
Thanks for the support. Yes, having "me" time is more important than the house, but I'm not talking about the kitchen is "sorta clean"...I'm talking, no forks, overflowing garbage and a counter you can't even find with all the stuff on it. Laundry also piles up. Again, my family expects that I will wash, dry, fold, sort and put away their clothes. If I let either go, it's just more work later AND I also face the possibility that I (underline that) might not have a clean fork or work clothes to wear.
It's not all bad though. Like I said: We're ALL learning. Yesterday was the first day that I left a list. I hate that it has to spell everything out, but I know that they won't learn if I don't. I also put the chore list on the outside of the door, so when they come in, it's the first thing they see.
Anyway, speaking of which...gotta run and get stuff done and get into bed!
Fitness Minutes: (186) Posts: 499 4/24/12 11:26 P
I completely understand your frustration with your family. I too was a stay at home mom for 10 years. When I went back to work it was one of the biggest adjustments for my husband and my children, but here is what I learned...what's more important a perfectly clean kitchen and an exhausted me...or...an o.k. cleaned kitchen and a happier me. I found that once I let go of the little things like the kitchen not being perfect and allowed (or o.k. insisted) my family to start helping around the house I was able to relax a little more. They felt empowered and I felt a little less like I was drowning. Yes I still had to do a thorough clean on my days off, but the lion's share was spread out.
As for the rest...
This is a fantastic site to gain resources and support along our weight loss journey. I am relatively new to this site and have found it to be invaluable to me. I started with following the menu plan option. I was able to print out the weekly menu (and best of all the shopping list!!) and I put it in a binder and knew what I would be having every day. Once I got more confident in serving sizes and self control I was able to stop using the menu and just create my own.
I still use the daily tracker (believe me this makes a HUGE difference) and I purchased the SparkPeople Cook Book. I haven't made a meal yet that I haven't loved.
I won't lie and tell you that it's been a breeze, but I will tell you that being an active member with this team and others I have been able to stay motivated and to find support and advice whenever I feel my resolve waning.
Ask questions, make comments and participate as much as you can. You will reap benefits that you can't imagine.
I look forward to hearing your success stories.
And remember...I BELIEVE IN YOU!!
Quality is never an accident, it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. William A. Foster
Pounds lost: 17.4
Fitness Minutes: (0) Posts: 7 4/24/12 11:19 P
I'm not sure why I'm crying. Frustration? Relief that I found SparkPeople? Anger at being fat? I don't know. I sure look forward to getting to know you all and getting some good advice. I have 3 kids....Nick-16, Rachel-15, and Ben-12. They are all really good kids and we really get along pretty well. The only problem is school. Nick and Rachel are just "not good at it". So, every night is spent with my walking someone through homework or trying to catch up on missing assignments.
I was a stay home mom until last November and my family can't seem to grasp that I cannot do everything I used to do after I get home at 5. I have tried sitting them down and explaining it. I've left notes, I've pleaded. I think nothing short of a mental breakdown is going to get through to them. Consequently, right now I don't have time to exercise. Even if I don't DO everything, I still have to take the time to write out what--EXACTLY--has to get done. I'm sure you other moms know that you can't tell a kid (or a husband) to "clean the kitchen", because their definition is so much different than mom's.
So, that's where I am right now. I'm learning how to work full time, train my family to help around the house, eat right almost all the time and exercise.
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