I work with autistic kids, and I recently adopted an emotionally disturbed teen...not quite the same, but definitely has it's challenges! All I can recommend is what's worked for me at home. When I get frustrated with my daughter because she's struggling with something or if we're fighting, we both just need a break, so we go to our respective "corners". Sometimes it's me who needs a break so I can be supportive, sometimes it's her so she can be respectful, sometimes it's both of us. I have a big piece of paper in my room where I wrote down everything I love about my daughter and all the things I am thankful for, and that she excels at. Just going in and reading through it and remembering these things helps me to come back with renewed patience!
But regardless of all the strategies you can have, sometimes it's just too much. We use respite, and she stays with one of my friends about once a month so my husband and I can regroup!
Hang in there Lulu!!! What a challenge!!! I work with special needs children most of whom have ADHD and 2 with autism. I am a job coach and work with high school age students. I don't know if I have any advice for you, in fact as the mom who deals with it every day you probably have advice for me :) Please remember not to be hard on yourself, take time for yourself, the better you feel the better you will be able to cope with the twists and turns your situation presents on a daily basis. Look for and celebrate those small successes!!! I admire you and your strength to deal with your situation!!
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