My father died when I was 7. I'm one of 4 kids. We were ages 4 to 15. Times were always financially tight but we didn't necessarily know it. My mom took us shopping at thrift stores and K-mart (Walmart wasn't yet in the northeast), which was kind of embarassing to us. (Some of our friends were rather affluent.) We'd complain about having "used" clothing but you couldn't tell by looking at us. I think that's pretty much all my sis and I complained about when we got old enough was the hand-me-down clothes and thrift shop buys. The boys were older and didn't care too much about the clothes. My mom sacrificed after dad died and managed to take us on 2 great vacations - one to Niagra Falls, then a couple years later to Williamsburg. Only she and my oldest brother knew just how tight the money was. He was the driver so he knew my mom was literally counting pennies to make sure we had gas money to get home. This was in the early 70s when most women didn't have careers. My mom started cleaning houses in order to feed us and pay the bills. Fortunately, they had mortgage insurance so the house got paid off. She didn't even know how to drive at the time and my oldest bro was only 15 so we either walked to the grocery store or depended on neighbors. And neighbors took us to church. I think that by the time my younger sis and I got to the teenage years (my bros were already teens) we had enough of an understanding of what my mom was going through that we weren't a problem, we had too much respect. She always ran a tight ship anyway and never took any lip or anything from us even before dad died. My 3 boys are pretty much the same - they get a bit lippy once in a while but certainly nothing to worry about.
My stepdad was very abusive so was always on pins and needles. Never new what would set him off. Once I didn't wash the table off good enough and he threw a knife at me cutting my chest. Think I was so afraid of continuing the cycle of abuse I have been too passive of a parent.
I was alright, until they moved us. We moved 1300 miles away and I did not react well. I snuck out of the house for 2 years straight (guess that's why I am SO glad that we live in a 2-story house and the girls' bedrooms are upstairs with no trees outside their windows!) before getting caught.
I have told family members that they are not to tell our girls this until after they're in college! I was obviously just rebelling due to the big move.
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was.
I like to think I was respectful and helpful, but who knows what that actually translates to from a teen's point of view to the parents! But I think I was pretty good. Now, my SISTER, whoo, that's another story!
When the blues whomp you up on the side of the head, throw them to the floor and kick them out the door... -- the B'52s
current weight: 224.0
Fitness Minutes: (0) Posts: 77 10/27/10 11:27 A
I don't think I was too bad as a teen. I was very respectful, I just wanted to go, go and go. Theirs 3 girls and my mom says I gave her the most trouble. The oldest was a book worm and the youngest stayed under my mom. I was adventorous...LOL
In a lot of ways I had the "Leave it to Beaver" family. I wasn't all that bad. Now my husband he keeps saying that our son is him. That there the same. Even my mother in law says the same thing. A lot of the same problems. My son has been very difficult to raise. I am seeing light now though. They say pay back is a _itch. What did I do? It was my husband not me that was suppose to be paid back. Oh well. Our daughter on the other hand is so much better than I was especially in school with straight A.
My father was militant, my mother passive aggressive...I was a very quiet and respectful child but as a teenager I found my home life suffocating. Borrowing from my mother, I never agrued I just made bold gestures and became a horrible out of control child....now as a mom of three girls ages 19,18 & 14 I realize every day that I am paying for my sins.
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