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TRYINAGAIN3's Photo TRYINAGAIN3 Posts: 1,597
10/1/09 11:12 P

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My daughter played the trumpet last year. At first she HATED it. She had the same complaints as your daughter. She was dizzy and out of breath but the band teacher said that was normal when they first start playing. My daughter knew going into band that she would have to keep whatever she picked until the end of the year. She also loved chorus. She liked chorus because you get to hang out with your friends and sing. What teenager doesn't like that? She stuck with it and it did get easier for her. By the end of the year she said she was glad she stuck with it and learned something new. She didn't get into band this year ..Shes in a new school and it was full before she had a chance to try for it. Maybe next year.. its up to her.




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CJM2009's Photo CJM2009 Posts: 15
9/29/09 10:29 P

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Hello, I can feel you with the band issue. My son took Band in elementary school, and never did good i had to fight with him to take interest in it. I just realized that band was not for my son, my daughter was doing good, she started in 5th grade and now in 7th grade she is still playing in band and still loving it. my youngest daughter just began band this year in 4th grade and she is loving it. So i just realized with my son it was just not for him, and i don't want any of my kids to do something that is going to make them sad or just upset all the time. I think sometimes as parents we want to live through our kids and we have to let them be their own person. other times we need to just look for signs, your daughter liked band at one point and now she don't. it could be the adjustment to middle school its a tuff adjustment. there could be kids that are not nice to her, or maybe you could talk to the school counselor and see about changing her schedule around. maybe doing PE right after band is a big much, her out of breath or chest hurting could be due to doing band practice, takes a lot to blow in a clarinet, my 4th grader is doing the clarinet, so its not that easy. so she is practicing and using her lungs and then has to go right into PE and run, that could be tuff. Ask her if that might be something she would like to try, to change her classes around, if the school will allow it. Hopefully the band teacher can help her with breathing exercises that could help before she goes to PE. I wish you luck with this. blessings. Crystal

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HOTTCOUTURE's Photo HOTTCOUTURE SparkPoints: (12,897)
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9/29/09 8:28 P

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All of my 4 children the oldest 18,16,12 youngest 11 went to a performing arts school all 4 played instruments from 3rd grade until 8th grade(in order from oldest to youngest) the flute,trumpet,saxaphone(reeds were expensive),the youngest wanted to play percussion but had to play a wind instrument 1st so we started with the trumphet now we are percussion but the teacher says the xylophone is first before they start the snare!

Has you daughter ever suffered with allergies or sinus problems!?

My youngest son is thick and last year started complaining of chest pains after PE running but never band and that required lots of breathing so I to became alarmed and took him to the dr!

The dr stated he did have allergies and he had exercise induced asthma which if it goes undetected or the child doesn't complain can go untreated so he was persribed allergy meds to help and albuterol 2puffs b 4 PE BAND & CHORUS!

Middle school is an adjustment and it all depends on what type of child you have and if the child was prepared for the change! My children where in an environment with k-8 so they were excited about middle school but sad to loose reccess! LOL
Our children are much stronger than we give them credit for I am with you about the quiting that is not a option I would explain to her in a stern voice once you start something you can't quit but talk to the teacher about a different instrument I tell me kids all the time if you STARTING THE HABIT OF QUITING or EVEN NOT COMPLETING THINGS ITS A HABIT FORMED FOR LIFE THAT IS HARD TO BREAK!

I would after taking her to the dr to make sure everything is ok inquire with the teacher about changing instruments ask her about the flute! She wouldn't have to wrry about reeds that can be a hassle!

I believe she candle everything or else she wouldn't have choosen them!
My kids deal with the A & B day schedule too!
Things will work out but we as parents and I realized this have to stop babyn our kids not let them b grown but step back a little give her time to adjust to middle school!

Your daugter can handle the school load u must remember if it were something fun she would be fine my 12yr old is in the 7th grade he bus comes at 730 am which means he gets up at 630 leaves the house at 710-715 to get to school by 9 and does not get home until 5-530pm to only have time to eat do his homework shower and fall asleep by 9pm supposedly watching TV but its watching him THAT IS A WORK DAY! And a total time change from his 6t grade schedule it got worse for 7th grade!

Life is not always going to be easy if she is overwhelmed there ia balance!!

BELIEVE ME IF IT'S SOMETHING THEY WANT TO DO THEY FIGURE IT OUT DON'T THEY!!!! LOL

LASTLY IF SHE CAN SING IN CHORUS & DOES NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS IN PE WITHOUT HER CHEST HURTING SHE MAY JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF BAND

Things will work out I'm prayn on it!!!

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JEWELS1273 Posts: 123
9/29/09 8:10 P

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Thanks for the replies. I actually took my daugther to Target this evening and we talked about band. I feel that from what she told me she is frustrated that the teacher (and this isn't just band) is not telling her what to do, she has found that the clarinet is harder than the violin and she just doesn't have any ambition to practice. I told her that I didn't want her to miss out on all the band opportunities, not just in middle school, but especially in high school and when the band plays at football games, etc. She told me that she doesn't want to play anymore. I am not going to force her to do something that she doesn't want to do. I have a feeling that I have no choice but to talk to her teacher and get her out of band. I also have an issue when the she mentioned that she has not had an opportunity to have anything to drink all day. The rules at school is that you can't even have a water bottle with her - this is due to preventing kids bringing alcohol that looks like water in to school. So now she is complaing that her throat is hurting.

DAWNWS1 - I feel that it may be anxiety. I didn't even think about that. Her class meet with their class counselor today and had the opportunity to pick counseling sessions. She chose to do stress management. That was a huge hint.


"Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!"
ó Jillian Michaels


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DAWNWS1's Photo DAWNWS1 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/29/09 7:27 P

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Just a thought, but might the chest hurting issue be anxiety? I know in adults, anxiety attacks can mimic heart attacks. I don't know if that's true of children, but it kinda makes sense. Also, if this is her first year of middle school, she might just be overwhelmed. It is such a big adjustment over elementary school, she might have too much on her plate.

"The most important thing you will ever do is become who you were meant to be. Blossom into yourself." -Lisa Hammond

I'm on a journey from couch potato to exercise junkie, and in summer 2010, to certified personal trainer!


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BLUEROSE73's Photo BLUEROSE73 SparkPoints: (116,370)
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9/29/09 5:58 P

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Have you tried just coming right out and asking her? Take her somewhere for some mommy-daughter time. Let her know you care about her and her opinions. When you are both feeling connected, let her know how you feel. Do not accuse her of being lazy. Let her know you are concerned. Let her know she can tell you anything.

It may be something she is embarrased to tell you. If all she does is get angry and tell you how much she hates band, just let her know you noticed how much she enjoyed orchestra, so you are concerned about this change.

good luck.

Katrina
Saskatchewan Time Zone

You can not change yesterday - it's done.
You can only dream of tomorrow.
The only day you can change is today.
What are you going to do today to reach your goals of tomorrow?

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it GREAT

Go little Turtle Go!


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JEWELS1273 Posts: 123
9/29/09 4:15 P

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So my daughter (who is 11 and is a 6th grader in middle school) hates band class. She used to be in orchestra when she was in elementary school and played the violin. This year she wanted to join band and play the clarinet. Every time she has band (which is every other day) she calls me the minute she gets off the bus and complains that she hates band and wants to quit. She also complains that she has gym right before band and has to hurry to class and that her chest hurts when she tries to play. I told her today that I spoke with her teacher and her teacher wants to meet her after school one day this week to go over some things and hopefully help with the chest hurting issue. (I am thinking that this may be because she is out of shape and the fact that gym class is outside and runs everywhere - once again the mom guilt steps in here.) She was so upset today that I truly donít know what else to do. She is overwhelmed with school and does not have the time or ambition to practice the clarinet. I really donít want her to quit, but at the same time I am at the end of my rope with band. I am not even sure that she can quit until the end of the semester. Her band teacher doesnít want her to quit either and I know that my daughter can do it. My only other option is to take her into the doctor to make sure it isnít something else with her chest hurting and to talk to the band teacher about her dropping out.

Also, she is in chorus at school that meets every other day (the odd days that my daughter doesnít have bank - which are even days). She likes chorus and Iím thinking it is because they donít have to practice outside of school. Could this just be laziness?

Any suggestions?


"Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!"
ó Jillian Michaels


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