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QUESTIONLADY's Photo QUESTIONLADY Posts: 456
10/6/09 8:13 P

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I'm REAL STRICT with supervision in our household. I created ALL PASS WORDS for all accounts and I have to log him into the computer. I DON'T allow myspace only family members are on his account, because it's there FRIENDS FRIENDS stuff I don't want him seeing and reading. The girls today are TERRIBLE with their pictures they post of themselves and I want to know WHERE ARE THE PARENTS............???????!!!!!!!! When they're adults that's one thing, but minors it's my house MY RULES.

Many of my friends all have created a myspace, so they can monitor all that their kids are doing. Parents need to be totally involved especially today.

Things are SO DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I GREW UP!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD for awesome sites like Sparkpeople!!!!!!!!!!! The best people are all on here. emoticon

HOPINGTOLOSEMOM Posts: 7
9/17/09 11:10 P

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Thanks for your words of encouragement, it helps.

SKEEWEEAKA's Photo SKEEWEEAKA Posts: 343
9/17/09 11:02 P

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Dear Hopingtolosemom,

Just know that we are here for you. Unfortunately it is a different world that are children are growing up in. Everything is so very "sexual" and becaues of that they feel that it is okay and that we are being prudes. I discovered the same thing with my 13 year old and have since eliminated those sites and although she has earned back a few priviledges like Youtube and a few other sites, I don't plan on giving her access to myspace until she is 16...but of course plans change!

I think all you can do is love her,tell her often, pointn out the good things that she does all of the time, especially behaviors that you want her to mimic, and give her the space she needs to grow!

My daughter still hates me for taking all of her priviledges away but, when she lets me, I hug her and tell her that I love her and praise her for the small things that I want to see more often!

One thing you could do is block the photos on the cell phone, just that simple thing helps me sleep better at night...although she doesn't have a cell phone but uses mine often for texting!

P.S. A good book to read is Transforming the Difficult Child. It has helped me tremendously to see that these are just phases and that I needed to develop better coping mechanisms and better ways of discipline! When she wants me to be I am there, and when she doesn't, I back off and give her the space that she needs!

Good Luck!

TJ

Have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!

Could it be THYROID? www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/
Could it be VITAMIN/MINERAL Deficiencies? forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread
.php?t=9948


GOALS:
1. Whole Foods
2. Exercise walking and goal is jogging.
3. Vitamin/Mineral Supplements
4. Detox Baths
5. Down a size by end of August

TJ :)


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HOPINGTOLOSEMOM Posts: 7
9/17/09 9:43 P

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I THOUGHT my 14 year old talked to me about everything. I THOUGHT she was an innocent young teen. As a responsible parent I would monitor her MySpace and check text messages randomly on her phone. A few weeks ago I had the shock of my life when I found an email from a young man on my daughter's MySpace, and her responses to a young man where they were having a very sexually explicit conversation - sexting. I didn't even think she knew about the things they were saying they wanted to do to each other. I immediately blocked her MySpace and took away her phone. Then I started checking her text messages and deleting them. There I found another shock, there were nude pictures being sent back and forth between them. The pictures of my daughter, luckily didn't have her face in it so if they got distributed around among other kids she could always deny it was her. I have never been so upset in my life. I went from a parent who thought she knew her daughter to one that has no idea who she is. When she asks why I won't let her date until at least 16 I now have a real good reason. Sexting has become a very popular past time between teens. I had a very long, and still have frequent talks with her about the ramifications of sending pics of herself, about the stories of girls that have committed suicide because a picture she sent to her then boyfriend that was later distributed to kids at school when they broke up. I urge you all to keep a close eye on your children's MySpace, text messages, etc. I always thought it was rude to spy as I used to call it. But if I hadn't, I'd hate to think where this may have gone. emoticon

LUVS99 Posts: 8
8/30/09 4:43 P

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Yes, it IS pretty harsh on there. My 14-year old daughter created one with my permission when she was 13. I told her how I wanted the password to her account until I could trust her judgement.
These 13-year-old children would be swearing left and right. "Part-aying w/ jess n mike tonite! txt if u wanna come!" - it disgusted me.
Luckily my daughter avoids those type of people and sticks to her good friends, and I'm very proud of her for doing so:)

PETA1111's Photo PETA1111 Posts: 612
8/13/09 9:20 P

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Yes myspace is very scary at times. I have an account and am one of her friends but parents dont realize kids make several accounts so their parents cant see what they write. My 17 yo just got a facebook too. She has 2 Myspace accounts. Yes kids can be brutal. I always tell her how when I was her age we had no call waiting so we could not sit on the phone all day and there were no cell phones yet and we did not even thing of boys at age 13 yet. We were still rollerskating.



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SKEEWEEAKA's Photo SKEEWEEAKA Posts: 343
7/26/09 9:40 P

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I agree that if hyou can't monitor the sites that your children shouldn't be on them. However, via myspace and facebook they have access to email and that can't be monitored by being a friend. I was a friend on my daughter's site on facebook and she is 13 but I was not satisfied with the type of conversations that she was having. Some children can be responsible and some cannot. She was too young in the first place but I let her talk me into it with monitoring so that she could talk to her friends and she still blew it! If she wants to talk to her friends from now on then she has to use the telephone!

The problem with those sites is that there are predators out there who are claiming to be teenagers who can and will befriend them...it happened to my daughter and I just decided that enough was enough...two strikes and I'm done!

I think there is enough to worry about in terms of her safety without having to consider the internet situation IMHO.

TJ


Have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!

Could it be THYROID? www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/
Could it be VITAMIN/MINERAL Deficiencies? forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread
.php?t=9948


GOALS:
1. Whole Foods
2. Exercise walking and goal is jogging.
3. Vitamin/Mineral Supplements
4. Detox Baths
5. Down a size by end of August

TJ :)


 current weight: 213.0 
 
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TAMIA1575's Photo TAMIA1575 SparkPoints: (6,016)
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7/26/09 9:22 A

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All my kids have myspace accounts and we've had no problems at all. I have all their passwords so I can check them at will (how do you think I found out my oldest son at age 17 went to a party and was drinking, yup, busted him by checking on his myspace).

My kids know everyone on their friends list, they know I'm lurking around there, and they know I'll delete them in a heartbeat if I find anything I deem inappropriate.

In all honesty, they aren't really going to encounter anything on a social site they haven't already encountered in real life. With cell phones, television, etc... it's hard to keep kids from being exposed to the crap in this world. So the best thing in my opinion is to be in control of the exposure as best as you can be. While at school there isn't much we can do, at least with these sites there is alot we can do to maintain some control over what they are doing with them.

I know I myspace, facebook, twitter, and tag. I know that myspace let's us all keep in touch with family and friends who are far away. I think that if you are able to be involved and monitor them then it's a great thing for kids. If you can't do that, then your kids shouldn't be on it.

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SKEEWEEAKA's Photo SKEEWEEAKA Posts: 343
7/14/09 10:50 P

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Block it!!! Nothing good will come of it and she is too young for the site... I found out my dd, 13, had one and had it deleted...

TJ

Have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!

Could it be THYROID? www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/
Could it be VITAMIN/MINERAL Deficiencies? forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread
.php?t=9948


GOALS:
1. Whole Foods
2. Exercise walking and goal is jogging.
3. Vitamin/Mineral Supplements
4. Detox Baths
5. Down a size by end of August

TJ :)


 current weight: 213.0 
 
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MPVIKINGS1 Posts: 123
6/16/09 11:18 A

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I refuse to let my kids have myspace accounts. It is damaging especially when looking at colleges. THey look into these things and if there is anything not appropriate on the site they could stop you from being enrolled in the college of your choice. It's not real important to be on a social networking site if it jeopordizes your future.

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DAISYDIETING's Photo DAISYDIETING Posts: 937
6/10/09 9:38 A

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Yeah, I guess your right. She does have a few cousin's that have one, that she could add to her page.

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PACKMAMA66 Posts: 243
6/10/09 1:00 A

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you might be there with her when she sets up her account and set it to private. With my sons it is a way for them to keep up with their classmates during the summer. As for guys or girls for that matter asking to be added to the boys friends list if they don't know them or there is nothing on there gender they will not add them. Have her add you as one of her friends so you can monitor what is going on.

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DAISYDIETING's Photo DAISYDIETING Posts: 937
6/9/09 1:52 P

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Yeah, i'm kinda afraid for my daughter to get a myspace account because of the men that lurk on these site's. I have to confess,I have one set on private, and some guy asked if he could add me as a friend. So I asked him who he was, and he responded by saying, he wanted to find some girl's to talk to on the down low. And what's funny, is that, he has a girlfriend. I don't play that. The only people i've got as friend's are people I already know. And my cousin's daughter is only about twelve, and she put that she was 27 yrs. old.

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ADOPTMOM1 Posts: 8,660
4/14/09 8:35 A

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LOL, my daughter discovered yesterday that I have the instant messaging portion of myspace turned on and it pops up and tells me she's online so I can IM her.

So far so good though, mostly just dorky 13yo girl stuff. There was one page of her ex-boyfriend begging her to take him back and her telling him to ... um, take a flying leap... but that was the worst of it.

Tami

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KISSAMBER's Photo KISSAMBER Posts: 1,126
4/13/09 9:29 P

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I allow my son to have a myspace page also but check it every other day. He does sometimes put up music I think is inappropriate.
Before you allow your child to get a myspace I would recommend visiting this link. www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312018,
00
.html
Explain to your children not to believe everything they read.

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no,
So don't you bring me down today...

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

__________________

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~
"Oh Crap, She's up!"


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PACKMAMA66 Posts: 243
4/8/09 5:11 P

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I can totally see your point, I guess it can happen to boys also, we just don't hear about it. The people my boys have on their myspace are their class mates and police officers{ my husband is in law enforcement and the boys are in the Emergency Service Explorers; they are learning about all aspects, police, medical and fire department}

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COACHMOMMY's Photo COACHMOMMY Posts: 286
4/8/09 1:31 P

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I just posted this in another discussion. I went to a defense class last weekend put on by the Sheriff's department and hosted by a Girl Scout troop. It was very eye opening. I would recommend something like this for everyone. One of the classes was internet safety and MySpace/Facebook was a big part of it. The deputy wanted to make sure the girl's were aware that even though you only allow "friends" and even though MySpace/Facebook says that you can block people out it's not necessarily true. He said that the internet predators know exactly how to get on and how to entice girls/boys with "key strokes". He said they have a entire department now focuses on this and some of the officers have been able to get into sites. He also wanted to make sure they knew that anything they put out there, even if they delete it is forever in cyperspace. He spoke of situations where girls' would have innocent pictures on their sites and then someone would take them and photoshop them to not so innocent pictures and send them out. There was even a situation in our county where 6th grade girls sent "racy" pictures via cell phone to 15 year old boys and both the girls and boys are being brought up on charges of pornographic trafficking. He was not just telling stories to frighten the girls', he had a lot of evidence to back all of this up.

Sorry for the long post, but I think it made a huge impact on the girls. He especially warned the parents about not monitoring and making sure the computer was in plain sight and you checked cell phones regularly. Scary stuff!


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
4/7/09 3:44 P

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Heck my DD even asked me if I would check her myspace messages when I get done with my emails.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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KARLEEN11's Photo KARLEEN11 Posts: 593
4/7/09 1:38 P

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My oldest daughter has a myspace so do I and so does my best friend and they look at everthing that my daughter does and so do I. I also have all of her passwords so that I can check it anytime that I want to.

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CLARALAW's Photo CLARALAW Posts: 496
4/7/09 12:59 P

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Facebook seems to have less questionable material on than MySpace. My son has FB, and as our computer is in the living room he is monitored closely when on the computer. He agreed that any friend request goes through his dad or myself first. He is not on daily but we are and we do keep tabs on his friends and postings.

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PACKMAMA66 Posts: 243
4/7/09 12:31 A

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Both my 15 and 16 year old sons and my husband have myspace. As the computer is in the living room I can always see who they are talking to{ classmates,cousins or friends we know}. Their myspace is also set to private. I don't have any problem with who is on their friends list as it is one way for them to keep up with what each other is doing; we live in a small closenit community.

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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
4/6/09 9:08 P

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My DD 13, has one that I set up for her. I have the passwords for both her email and myspace so i can monitor it anytime I want. Yes the age is suppose to be 14 to have one but like I said I set it up for her. She has in fact gotten caught putting something I don't approve of on there and her stuff being made public all by assisstance of another friend who does what she wants when she wants. Needless to say she is no longer friends with that person and I made dd take the crap off of her page. Everything is set to private and she cannot be friends with anyone that I do not personally know, nor can anyone find her without knowing her true info.

She also has a Facebook, as well as I do.

I do monitor both daily and most of the time, she asks me to sit with her while she's on.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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TRYINAGAIN3's Photo TRYINAGAIN3 Posts: 1,597
4/6/09 8:56 P

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I don't know if the rules have changed but I thought the youngest myspace age was 14. So I told my daughter (13) that when shes old enough she can make a page. I have one that I talk to old high school friends on so I will be there to watch when she does start one.




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CLAIRSEAN's Photo CLAIRSEAN SparkPoints: (0)
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4/6/09 8:08 P

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My 13 year old daughter is on MySpace, as are many of her classmates. The rules were simple for her- I have the log in info, as I do for her email, I am a friend, and I have full access to her info. The day I can't log into one of her accounts is the day she loses all of them. I don't check them everyday, but since it is at random, and she sometimes doesn't check for days, I would see if anything shady was going on.

~Caren~
www.myspace.com/clairsean95
www.myyearbook.com/clairsean


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"Rejection is God's ultimate and perfect plan for your protection." ~Mikey, Rock 105.3
Ok, I don't know where he got it, but I loved it...


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TERESAROSE's Photo TERESAROSE Posts: 2,452
4/6/09 3:13 P

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my daughter is 13..she wants one, I don't see any reason for her to have one. She can do the same with windows live messenger.

If she ever gets one, while under 18, I will hold the password and log in for her. Just being her "friend" is not enough, they do have private inboxes also.

Besides that, I don't trust how or what she would do and put on her page while she is at someone elses house. I can only control what goes on in my house..

So, until my daughter is older and maturer, she won't be having a myspace or facebook.

Eat to Live!, NOT Live to eat!


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PAULABEANS's Photo PAULABEANS SparkPoints: (49,770)
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4/6/09 1:32 P

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I do have my own myspace account, but I don't think that's good enough. So, I have my daughter's passwords to her email & myspace. I check on her all the time. Her myspace page is set to private, her age is 99 and she lives anywhere, but where we actually live. Her myspace friends are her actual real life friends & family. And, her photo albums are set so only her friends can view them. I also go to her friends' pages and have told her to delete one because of the language. Call me over protective, but it's my job to protect her.

Edited by: PAULABEANS at: 4/6/2009 (13:33)
Treat others as you want to be treated.

Alaska Time Zone (4 hours behind EST)


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LUVYA04's Photo LUVYA04 SparkPoints: (57,769)
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4/6/09 11:29 A

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Great Idea. My DD is already going to make me a account tonight when she gets home. I was very surprised she volunteered to do it, but she likes to do that kind of stuff. She did my page here too how sad.

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ADOPTMOM1 Posts: 8,660
4/6/09 10:47 A

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Yes, it's crazy. I made my daughter put me on as a friend. My 11yo son was horrified but he's been informed that Myspace will remain blocked on his computer until he's old enough and he agrees to add me.

Tami

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LUVYA04's Photo LUVYA04 SparkPoints: (57,769)
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4/6/09 10:24 A

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Wow I went into the scary world of myspace. My 13 yr old DD has one. The swearing is awful, some girl was giving my DD a hard time last night in the cyberworld I couldnt beleive the stuff she was sayin to DD I was happy to read every one considers my DD a goody 2 shoes because she wont kiss her boyfriend.
Young teen life is so different from when I was 13. I am so glad softball has started today. She wont be on the computer as much.

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