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JFTODAY's Photo JFTODAY Posts: 235
7/17/12 4:01 P

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I think the middle child struggle is a lot about getting attention. I am the middle of three, but only have two myself.

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FLYINGTOFREEDOM's Photo FLYINGTOFREEDOM SparkPoints: (72,113)
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7/17/12 9:59 A

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yeah i sat her down finally and just had a casual conversation with her. I explained to her that it is hard raising three children, two of whom are fairly little. I told her that the little ones look to her on how to act towards us and other people. So if she is eye rolling, screaming, yelling, just not showing respect that they will follow and that is why they act like they do sometimes. I explained to her that she can come to me with anything, any question and we will talk about it. if she is angry or hurt she is free to tell me that I did something to hurt her feelings or make her angry. I told her it is not okay to show disrespect. I asked her to help more with the little ones and she feels more responsible now. I told her that she is second in charge to me when her dad is not around and that she is in charge of looking out for them and protecting them.
I have given her more freedom as well. I make sure to make it a point when she is being so helpful and acting her age. We praise her a lot and I think that makes her feel really good about herself. As for my 4 year old, she has always been my boundary pusher. She has no fear and loves to argue with you. I'm scared when she becomes my oldest daughters age. my son is two and he has been my laid back one, he has been so easy to raise that it makes my daughters seem that much more high maintenance lol.

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TORAMPAUL's Photo TORAMPAUL Posts: 287
7/17/12 9:49 A

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@Flying--thanks for your input! It's nice to know that your middle child is similar in personality to mine. My daughter has been acting this way since she was about two years old, so the fact that yours is only four is still relevant!
My 12 year old daughter also went through the "pushing the boundaries" thing at around 9 or 10 years old, too. At the time I was also raising a toddler (as are you) so it was tough that both were going through it at the same time. My advice to you in regards to your 10-year old, is nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Let her know that she can't step over the line and it won't last as long as the "Terrible Twos" for example. My daughter's biggest thing at that age was disrespect; if I asked to do anything I'd get a huffy sigh and eye-rolling. She found out really quick that I wasn't going to allow her to disrespect me like that, and she soon stopped doing it.

"All I have is what God gives, and that's all the life that I was meant to live." ~John Reuben


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TORAMPAUL's Photo TORAMPAUL Posts: 287
7/17/12 9:46 A

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@NLPOLAK--I think you're right--sounds like your daughter is starting her hormonal changes. My eldest started at about that age, too. My second doesn't seem to be starting yet; opposite from my eldest, she's very athletic and muscular so that may have something to do with it. Plus she's been like this (independent, defiant) since she was about two years old.
But you're right--you're just at the beginning! My eldest is 12 now, and starting to get into the Teen attitude. Every stage has its challenges for sure!
Thanks for weighing in with your experiences.

"All I have is what God gives, and that's all the life that I was meant to live." ~John Reuben


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FLYINGTOFREEDOM's Photo FLYINGTOFREEDOM SparkPoints: (72,113)
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7/17/12 8:59 A

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my second daughter is only 4 with a 10 year old sister and a 2 year old brother, and she has always been my handful, but here lately, she has been out of control. crying, whining, talking back, getting really angry, yelling at me. I think it is the middle child thing. She is trying to have more responsibility and more freedom and Im trying to let her have more, but she is only 4 so it is hard to know what is right for her age. My 10 year old is going through something similar. She seems to be in between wanting to grow up and not wanting to grow up.
she is talking back, and screams at her dad. She doesn't want to have to answer to anyone. I hope you find the support you need

1 bite at a time = 1 choice at a time.
Choice is in our power; take the power and run.

Co-Leader of "Emotional Eaters"

Nothing is forever why not live for today and make it the best day ever.

I am my best friend.


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NLPOLAK's Photo NLPOLAK SparkPoints: (11,567)
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7/17/12 8:57 A

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sorry, I have an only child who's 8! Hope some others can give you some advice from the perspective you need. But for what it's worth, I constantly am having similar battles with my daughter where she wants to be bossy and irritable. I'm thinking it's the age overall, and possibly the onset of puberty. Already she's "developing" and there have been a few times she's complained of stomach aches and seems to have possible hormonal mood swings. In for a rough ride here!!!!!!

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TORAMPAUL's Photo TORAMPAUL Posts: 287
7/17/12 8:52 A

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Does anyone else have a middle child in this age group? I'm looking for support on dealing with my 8-year-old daughter, who has an older sister and a younger brother. She seems to always be pushing her boundaries with me and we are always in a power struggle. When we found out our third child was going to be a boy (after having two girls), people told me I had no idea how easy I'd had it. That boy is now five, and he's not nearly as much of a handful as my second-born daughter.
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Edited by: TORAMPAUL at: 7/17/2012 (08:54)
"All I have is what God gives, and that's all the life that I was meant to live." ~John Reuben


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