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TRINITYROYAL's Photo TRINITYROYAL Posts: 2,399
1/11/12 9:11 A

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I think I'm fortunate in that my 10-yr-old son has never shown any interest in using facebook or other social media. That said, I don't think I would allow him to have his own account until he's 14 or so.

Overall, we do closely monitor computer use, television and even the radio. One rule we have that seems to have worked very well so far is "If you're not sure, bring it to me and we'll watch or listen together" This applies to tv shows, songs on the radio, web sites, what have you. My 10-year-old has shown pretty good judgement so far.

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MFLEETING's Photo MFLEETING SparkPoints: (1,462)
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1/5/12 6:10 P

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My kids are not to that age yet but currently we don't mind what they do on the internet. They are very good kids and know what they can or can not do and we trust them on their shared computer. When they want something like a facebook or twitter account we will give it to them as long as they use it wisely. My husband is an internet geek and is very much into social media so were very lenient on these issues but will also be following them so we will know whats going on. If they ever do something we do not agree with or feel like they are in danger then we will probably change our mind about the internet world but until then we completely trust them to do as we tell them to.

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JACRBUNCH's Photo JACRBUNCH SparkPoints: (69,576)
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1/3/12 12:12 P

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My kids do not have FB accounts, but they have used the internet with supervision from a young age. Our computers are in the dining room so there is not privacy and as the kids have gotten older we have given them more freedom, but are constantly talking to them about how to be safe and are able to check on what they are and have done on the computer. My oldest is 12 and he just got a gmail account through his school. He needs it for some of his classes. Otherwise he uses my email account. He has not expressed any interest in FB at this time and I am glad. I think they grow up way to soon as it is. My 11 year old has asked because some of his friends do, but we have not allowed him to yet. It was the same with the phones. Starting around 3rd grade everyone had phones and they had to have one too. We decided middle school was a good age because they would be on their own much more and if they needed to get in touch with us they could. My 5 year old thinks we are mean and that she should have a pink phone right now. LOL

Jacque
Learn to be calm and you will always be happy
- Paramhansa Yogananda






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ROCKINMOMNTEXAS's Photo ROCKINMOMNTEXAS Posts: 21
12/19/11 10:41 A

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My son is only 8 years old right now, so the only internet usage that he has is either the learning games that his school has posted on their website, or the Nickelodeon page. Either way, I am there watching over his shoulder the whole time. He has already started asking me about having a Facebook page, and I tell him that he can have one whenever I feel he is responsible enough to have one, which wont be until he is at least in Jr. High. If even then. I don't even have a Facebook page. Of course, when I do allow him to have one, I will have one too and he will have to have me as a friend on there, and I will have to have his password to his account in case I ever feel a need to know what's going on.

I know that this might sound a bit strict, or even sound like privacy invasion to some parents, but my niece who is now 17, had a friend in Elementary school who was either 12 or 13 at the time. The little girl and her cousin, who was 15, were messaging back and forthon MySpace with 2 boys that were 16 and 15, about sneaking out of their houses one night and going for a joy ride in the 16 year old's parents' JEEP. Well, during the joy ride, there was a train stalled on some tracks, but that particular crossing did not have any lights, or rails that came down to keep traffic from crossing, so the driver did not see the train on the tracks until it was too late. The JEEP hit the track at approximately 50-60 mph, and the two girls who were in the backseat, were decapitated. I can't remember what happened to the boys in the front, but when the JEEP hit the train, it was like somebody took a saw and cut the top of the JEEP smooth off. So, after that experience, I feel like I will always have every right to have full access to whatever my son does on the internet until he is an adult.

~Laura~


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KAILYNSTAR's Photo KAILYNSTAR Posts: 3,660
12/18/11 10:18 A

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I have GOT to see if there is such a thing here to go to class with. Since I am in Canada, we don't have the GBI, etc.

My 10 year old doesn't have a FB account. She really has no interest in it at all. She asked me once "How is it possible for someone to have 369 friends?" I told her that there isn't any way. I basically told my kids that FB is just people being nosy about nothing. Does a person really need to know when a person is off to bed? Watching their favorite show?

My oldest has tried to open a FB account without letting me know, but I caught him at it the very next day. I knew that there was no possible way that I could stop him (15 almost 16) but, I made him a friend so I could monitor what is going on.

I have also made my kids watch the news reports of 'bad' people dong things, theft, pedafiles, too much information given on FB, cops that say that they would never open up a FB page. That way, I hope that they learn to be more cautious.

I try to monitor their activity on their email accounts, but my eldest changed his password and I haven't been able to talk to him as of yet about that.

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FTHOODBABY's Photo FTHOODBABY Posts: 209
12/18/11 5:35 A

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My daughter (now 16) has FB. She had myspace first - during jr high and I made her give me the password so I could check it periodically. Same with her phone, sometimes I just walk by and picked it up and skim through her texts. Also during jr high, when she set up the myspace account before mvoing on to FB, she attended a class by the GBI (Georgia Bureau of Investigations).The special agent that held the class has a full time job of working on sites like FB and myspace and looking for child predators. My husband and I also attending the class -- I highly recommend it.

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GINGERPAWZ's Photo GINGERPAWZ SparkPoints: (30,824)
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12/17/11 4:36 P

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My son has a facebook account but I also log onto it and check to see who he is communicating with. All of his cousins live on the west coast and only get to visit once a year.

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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APRILKAYGA's Photo APRILKAYGA SparkPoints: (124)
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12/17/11 10:40 A

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my 11 year old daughter has a facebook but I do monitor it and I have her password and info we live so far away from family that is the way she talks to her cousins and Aunts etc. I homeschool her so she is always home with me I DIDNT like what they was teaching at school but I do agree you have to be so careful with kids. She knows she can't add anyone unless she ask me first.

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GINGERPAWZ's Photo GINGERPAWZ SparkPoints: (30,824)
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12/12/11 12:27 A

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I agree with you. The kids depend on us to make them safe. If we didn't do our jobs then this world would be a worst place to live in. Some parents lie to their kids and in turn are teaching them to lie to others. I believe in what the bible says about bringing up the child in the way he/she should go then when he/she grows up he won't depart from it. My son's friend mother lied to us six times the first week I met her. So now I don't believe anything she says. So is also teaching her son how to be a quiter. As long as I would go over and pick up my son's friend for bowling it was okay. But the moment it was up to her to bring him to bowling then she made him quit.

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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QHAMOM's Photo QHAMOM Posts: 896
12/10/11 9:16 A

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I don't think you'er in the minority. I assumed we're talking about our 6-11 year olds, and it sounds like you are monitoring internet use from a respectable distance that is appropriate for a 14 year old. You are right that teenagers need to learn how to be on their own a little before they really are out there on their own. If your child will go away for college, they will suddenly be surrounded by other teenagers with little mature guidance. The best thing we can do for our children is teach them how to be safe, responsible and respectable adults.

Wanda ~ 5'11", 42 y/o mom to kids ages 7, 10 and 12


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ANNIEPAT62's Photo ANNIEPAT62 SparkPoints: (1,114)
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12/6/11 9:59 A

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I guess I'm in the minority, but my 14yo DS has had a facebook account since he was 12. I have the password and login name and he knows that I will periodically check it. Our computer is in the family room, so there is no expectation of privacy. I also check his email account and texts periodically. Honestly, after the first six months, he didn't show too much interest in FB and he rarely posted anything. He says it's mostly boring stuff and he's right. Some of his "friends" post every single thing they are doing.

I figure social media and all the bad things that go along with it are pretty much here to stay, so I want him to know how to deal with these things before he gets to college and has all the privacy and freedom to use these things w/o supervision but no clue about how to deal with it.

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one. -Jojen Reed, A Dance with Dragons


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GINGERPAWZ's Photo GINGERPAWZ SparkPoints: (30,824)
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12/4/11 9:56 P

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My son hates it when I go through his email account. But I think it is neccessary to do. He is a blue belt in Karate and they teach how to get away from preditors.

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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SILVERBIRCH65's Photo SILVERBIRCH65 SparkPoints: (3,267)
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11/28/11 1:03 P

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Hi QHAMOM--Exactly. The reason that parents need to supervise their kids is that there are very real dangers out there that kids don't know how/are not yet equipped to protect themselves from.

Like you, I try to be very "real" about the dangers without exaggerating them--but it's not like I can make the dangers go away by putting my head in the sand.

I guess I'm hearing here support for my parenting of the past (up to the 11 yo cut off of this group). Thanks, everyone!


Katya


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QHAMOM's Photo QHAMOM Posts: 896
11/27/11 9:47 A

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My kids don't have FB yet, but they do have email accounts, which they mainly use for signing up for web sites like Roblox and Lego. I set up their accounts, I have the password, and I have their accounts on my cell phone so I can see every email they send and receive. Sometimes my son gets spam and I delete it before he even sees it.

I feel it is very important to explain to them why we monitor them. I tell my kids that while there are bullies who can be mean, and there are also predators who pretend to be kids and then try to take children and hurt them, rape the, sell them into the sex slave market, and even kill them. I tell them it's my job to protect them, they might not like all of my decisions, but they have to trust that I am doing what I feel is best for their health and safety.

Wanda ~ 5'11", 42 y/o mom to kids ages 7, 10 and 12


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SILVERBIRCH65's Photo SILVERBIRCH65 SparkPoints: (3,267)
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11/22/11 9:59 A

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I'm strict with my kids regarding screen time; it's never bothered me that they can't go in to school and share in the "We watched Survivor" conversations, or the "I reached level 573 in World of Warcraft" or "Look at my cool new piece of electronics!" competitions. My kids are (I hope) pretty well grounded and socially apt.

But--in the world I live in in the American Upper Mid-West, kids are highly, highly scheduled, and now that they've reached the 6th grade-7th grade school split (where some kids disappear to middle schools &c), I'm aware that there is a lot of online social interaction--and some portion of it is positive, allowing kids who do not have a lot of control over their own schedules to remain connected with friends.

I have a 14 year old nephew with a Facebook account and somewhat more than ~350 "friends." I definitely don't want my kids to have that wide an open door. But--well, there are a handful of kids who are using Facebook, NOT email to keep up with each other... and I can see that some sort of social media is in my kids future. The question is--what?

My kids have gmail accounts with all their email forwarded to me--I helped them chose their names so that it was not obvious that they were kids. They do know how to turn those filters off, but I trust them (I believe with cause) not to turn them off. They do "chat" with friends online at times--I don't have a lot of input or do a lot of supervision there.

That's where things stand for us now--other than me thinking "what's the next appropriate development?"

It's all going to be more difficult with my youngest--he'll have expectations based on what he's seen his sisters get to do.


Katya


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11/22/11 5:48 A

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I have a twelve yr old boy and a ten yr old daughter and yes alot of their friends have accounts as well but I don't allow mine to have them. If they want to play games their more than welcome to play mine but that's it. I really am more careful now because I had some people on mine that went to church with us that posted some inappropriate comments on their page that posted to mine and my oldest seen it and told me how it didn't sound very nice so even letting them play the games can have it's repercussions. I say stand your ground with them and shield them as long as you can.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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VLJSMREED's Photo VLJSMREED Posts: 229
11/22/11 1:13 A

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i enjoy the input here. my six year old has started asking me about email and facebook. i think cause she sees me using it. so i let her tell me what she wants to put and i enter "vivian said" on the post.

I have been wondering what i am gonna do when she gets a little bigger

"To play it safe is not to play."
Robert Altman

"NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS!"

"KISS"

"If you're starving your body, depriving it of what it needs, you're handicapping yourself in the race for your dreams. "


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NCHEALTHY's Photo NCHEALTHY SparkPoints: (1,353)
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11/21/11 10:09 P

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I let my 9-year-old have her own email account, which i monitor closely. computer, like TV is a public activity in my house. she plays facebook games on my account, again with supervision. we have talks about internet use and safety, and what to do if she stumbles across something she doesn't understand or is confused by. I decided a long time ago that I can't shield her from everything, but I can discuss it with her and put my values on it.

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MAJORMOM7's Photo MAJORMOM7 Posts: 2,874
11/21/11 3:49 P

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Not even my teenagers have a facebook account. To much online bullying go on that way. I let them give out my email address and they can get their mail through me. Just like if they got mail the regular way. Phone they get when they are 14 but there is no internet service on there phones.

" The ground work of all happiness is good health"-Leigh Hunt
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered ... not yelled.*


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SILVERBIRCH65's Photo SILVERBIRCH65 SparkPoints: (3,267)
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11/21/11 2:44 P

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A LOT of my eleven year olds' friends have Facebook pages.

I keep telling mine: "I'm doing you a favor delaying your entry to Facebook, one day you will really appreciate this."

But that's starting to feel thin. What kind of choices are you making about your pre-teen childrens' internet usage? Are you holding a hard line? Making discriminating choices? I'd be really interested to know what choices other parents are making--and why.

It's a changing world we're living in!


Katya


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