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TURBOMEL's Photo TURBOMEL Posts: 9,144
3/30/07 8:50 A

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Thanks Lybbe!

emoticon

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-Carol Burnett

"Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which greatly trumps Did Not Start."

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.



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LYBBE1631's Photo LYBBE1631 Posts: 5,794
3/30/07 4:37 A

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You're hot now Mel! You're the babe with the pointy-toed leopard boots! You're probably exercising more now than you ever have (I know I am) and to me, that's the most important thing you can do for yourself.

True religion is the life we lead...not the creed we profess.

Have no regrets.

Peace, Balance, Always

Pain is temporary - Quitting is forever.


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TURBOMEL's Photo TURBOMEL Posts: 9,144
3/29/07 6:56 P

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Thanks Lybbe!! Hugz right back at ya!

When I was always a little over weight so my girlfriends always got the attention from the boys and I was the one the boys called to "hook them up' with my girlfriends. By the time I graduated high school I was around 195 and very shy. Then in cooking school (beleive it or not) I lost 50 pounds and I looked great. But all the sudden I was getting this attention I didn't know how to handle. Then I had a boyfriend who was a bigger man and we were going out to eat all the time - next thing I gained a lot back. I think I was more comfortable with a little weight on... Now that I'm in my 30's I'm ready to be hot again!

Mel emoticon

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-Carol Burnett

"Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which greatly trumps Did Not Start."

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.



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LYBBE1631's Photo LYBBE1631 Posts: 5,794
3/29/07 4:29 A

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Oh Mel - you have hit it right on the head with the 'attracting male attention.' My sister told me that years ago and I laughed it off, but for me it's totally true. I had issues stemming from my childhood that I never dealt with until about a year ago and things are so much better for me now. You're right - you have to believe that you're worth it. Huggggz kiddo! (That is the first time I have ever virtually hugged anybody...lol)

True religion is the life we lead...not the creed we profess.

Have no regrets.

Peace, Balance, Always

Pain is temporary - Quitting is forever.


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TURBOMEL's Photo TURBOMEL Posts: 9,144
3/28/07 9:21 P

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Hi Betty,

I understand where you are coming from and we all have bad days. I agree with Lybbe. We are sometimes our own worst enemies or critics. Why do we self-sabotage? I've been trying to figure that one out for a long time now. I know I'm afraid of too much male attention. I'm afraid of gaining it back. I'm afraid of failing. As for people saying I look good, I find then I get the mind set of I've done enough! I look good enough.

I'm at a simular point. I'm down 30, I have 40-50 more to go. Somedays it feels impossible. I OFTEN have to remind myself:
~ I am worth it.
~I deserve to be fit.
~If I have another baby, I'll bounce right back again!
~ I won't fail.
~ I enjoy being a healthy active person.

As Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live use to say:
"Now look in the mirror and repeat after me:
I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And Dog-gone-it! People like me!!"


Mel
emoticon

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-Carol Burnett

"Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which greatly trumps Did Not Start."

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.



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CLAIREBEAR_1980's Photo CLAIREBEAR_1980 Posts: 1,188
3/28/07 7:57 P

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Hi. I really like you motto "We can either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same."
Its so true and when i feel good about myself i am far more likely to exercise and eat well. When i feel crap i let it all slide.
The test for you now is to treat yourself nice even though you feel you have failed. I like to ask myself- if my friend failed like this, would I talk to them the way I'm talking to myself?

Claire





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HENNAGIRL's Photo HENNAGIRL Posts: 557
3/28/07 4:02 P

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Hey, one meal out is not going to "blow" everything. It happens. As long as you are trying and working for the big picture, little screw-ups every now and then aren't going to make much of a difference.

I had lunch with my husband yesterday...and later discovered my vegetarian lunch had 1200 calories! I was already way over my calorie limit by 1pm!!! Oh well. Today I met my DH for lunch and cut my lunch in half and wrapped it up before I started. 500 calories...much better. Live and learn.

All my life I wanted to be somebody, now I see I should have been more specific. (Lily Tomlin) www.cmoondesigns.com


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BUCKYCPA's Photo BUCKYCPA SparkPoints: (18,254)
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3/28/07 1:43 P

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((((HUGS))))

We've all been there.

You need to forgive yourself for the times that you have done this. Look at the weight you've lost. Remember how it felt each time you got on the scale and saw a lower number, or anytime you got below a new "decade-mark", etc.

Remember that yesterday is done and gone and NOTHING you do today will change past decisions. You can only control what you do now. You can choose to make healthy decisions, you can choose to make unhealthy decisions. It's completely within your own choice/control.

Plus, every once and awhile you have to treat yourself. Try not to put things off limits or you'll just crave them and binge when you have them. Give yourself the grace to be able to eat something "naughty" every now and then, but also give yourself the discipline to enjoy that but not too much.

Another thing I do when we eat out is plan my meals in advance. So many restaurants put their menus online so I'll look at it and decide what I'll be eating ahead of time. Then I just adjust other meals accordingly to help it fit in as good as possible.

-Julie-

If you can believe it you can achieve it!!!


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LIVE4THEMOMENT's Photo LIVE4THEMOMENT SparkPoints: (0)
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3/28/07 12:50 P

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So What!! That's what you need to tell yourself!! Look at it as you treated yourself for all your hard work. Think about how many calories your body had to burn trying to metabolize the extra food. (It's true)No one is perfect, you take a step back then you take 2 forward! You'll do it, but you have to stay positive! emoticon

I HAVE THE POWER TO DO THIS!!!!! I CAN AND WILL ACHIEVE THIS!!!!! I WILL NOT QUIT!!!!! I WILL FINISH WHAT I 'VE STARTED!!!!! I WILL BE STRONG!!!!! I WILL WIN!!!!!

IMAGINE IT!
BELIEVE IT!
BECOME IT!
LIVE IT!

~Terrie~
KELLY_88's Photo KELLY_88 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/28/07 12:36 P

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Betty - Big hugs. Please don't beat yourself up. It's only one day - it's only one meal. And I agree with others - don't put foods on a DO NOT EAT list. I think that just makes them more tempting.

I try to eat salads when I go out only because restaurants make them so much more fancy than I ever could at home. I've sort make a game out of it and try to see if there's a salad I've never had before. Grilled chicken gets boring, I know. So I try something that has nuts or fruit or fish or something that's different.

Thanks for venting to us - that's what we're here for!

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and help them become what they are capable of being." - Goethe
CASSIOEPIA's Photo CASSIOEPIA Posts: 18,042
3/28/07 12:01 P

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Betty,
Reaching out with ((hugs)) to you. We all screw up, so we know how you feel. I loved your words at the end though:

"I must keep the faith and look at this as a little setback and I will pick myself up and start over today. I will take it one day at a time."

When I have done something that I regret afterwards, I just take a step back and try to see what I can learn from it. Can you try to see how you could change things in your day yesterday to have a meal out, and not feel so guilty about it? Not exercising can be made up with ten minutes more for each day the rest of the week. Over calories can be corrected (weekly) by staying at the very bottom of your range for a few days.

Please don't beat yourself up too badly. One of the things I am learning to do here at Sparks, is to speak to myself in a better way. I do believe it helps -- and when I notice that I'm not calling myself stupid, noone else is either.

You can do this! We can help. Take care.

Cassie

Judi
Saskatchewan, Canada


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SOMEFACES Posts: 772
3/28/07 11:59 A

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Hey Betty,

Don't give up! I can 100% relate. I've been "losing" the same 5 pounds for a year myself and am definetely tempted to splurge when I eat out.

There are some tricks to it that you can try. For example, if you're going to order the fried stuff and just can't resist, split the meal in half, or share it. If you have to, ask the server to put half in a box right away.

Also (and this is something that I'm just now learning too) don't put foods as "off limits" ever. Labeling something fried as "never will eat again" will just make you want to eat it more. It's all about moderation.

Stay strong! You can do it!


You're never a victim. There are no accidents in life. What is yours comes to you, what is not yours will never stay with you. You have exactly the circumstances you need to transform to your next best level.


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LYBBE1631's Photo LYBBE1631 Posts: 5,794
3/28/07 11:54 A

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You know what Betty? I'm convinced that those of us who have either lost a lot of weight or have a lot of weight to lose go on self-sabotage missions from time to time. I think we're afraid to succeed - because what then? Will people expect more of us? Will be able to stay where we want to be? I wish I could figure it out because I've been my own worst enemy more times than not. This is a new day. Don't worry about yesterday, just do the best you can today and get through it. Then you can do the same tomorrow.

True religion is the life we lead...not the creed we profess.

Have no regrets.

Peace, Balance, Always

Pain is temporary - Quitting is forever.


 current weight: 244.3 
 
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BETTY925's Photo BETTY925 Posts: 973
3/28/07 11:48 A

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Yesday was going good and then I was invited to eat out and because of the circumstances involved I did not get to exercise. And on top of that I ordered a meal that I should not have. I will probably gain those three pounds back again!! I just can't seem to gain control of my eating out. On some days I do really good and on others I PIG OUT! I can't even begin to count the calories that might have been in the dinner I chose. Everything FRIED and I am not supposed to eat fried foods.

I am so disgusted with myself but I will not let this get me down. I must somehow master some control over eating out. And when I eat the fried foods and too much of it, I feel so sluggish the next day - not at all like I would like to feel!

What is wrong with me? How come I can't keep the momentum going? I have lost over 40 punds. Why I can't keep losing? Everyone tells me I look great and that gets me to feeling good and what do I do????? I eat! It's like I have lost all the weight I need to so I really eat now. But I know that is not the way it works. I know this is for life, not just until I have lost all my weight. I still have over 60 pounds to go. I certainly don't want to stop here. I must keep going. I must keep the faith and look at this as a little setback and I will pick myself up and start over today. I will take it one day at a time.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Betty

"Winning has nothing to do with racing. Most days don't have races anyway. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism and never, ever, ever giving up." ~ Amby Burfoot.

500 miles in 2010 challenge - DONE!!

My PR's:

12/04/10 St. Jude Half Marathon - 3:07
05/01/10 Cotton Classic 10K - 1:23:06
03/27/10 Parkinson's Charity 5K 39:21



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