Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
1/15/13 11:06 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
1/14/13 3:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up ?"

God said, "No, you have another 34 years to days live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital & have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color!

Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked, "You said I had another 34 years to live. Why didn't you save me from the truck?"

God replied: "I couldn't recognize you!" :

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
1/6/13 11:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
1/4/13 5:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. ... On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray- haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
1/1/13 2:25 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/31/12 12:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
This happened in Khandala Ghat near Lonavala during the last monsoon.

A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the old road.

When he reached the mountains his car broke down - he was stranded miles from nowhere.

Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town.
It was dark and rainy.
And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering.
The night rolled on
and no car passed by.

Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him.
It slowed and then stopd next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumped in.

Seated in the back,
he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him.

He realized there was Nobody behind the wheel !!!

Even though there was no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car startd moving slowly.
The guy lookd at the road ahead and saw a curve coming.
Scared almost to death he startd to pray,
begging the Lord for his life.

He hadn't come out of shock,
when just before he hit the curve,
a hand appeard through the window and moves the wheel!
The car made the curve safely and continued on the road to the next bend.

The guy,
now paralyzed in terror,
watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve and moved the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally,
The guy saw lights ahead.
Gathering his courage he wrenched open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambled out and ran as hard as he cud towards the lights.

It was a small town.
He stumbled into a restuarant, and askd for a drink, and broke down. .

Then he startd talking about the horrible experience he'd just been through. . .

There was dead silence in the restaurant when he stopped talking . . . . .
.
.
.
Know more
.
.
.
.
......and that's when ...

Santa and Banta Singh walked in.

Santa pointed and said

"Look Banta - that's the idiot who got into our car when we were pushing it."

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/30/12 10:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working, so she called a Repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking doberman he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't stand it any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Spike!:)

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/30/12 9:37 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/29/12 11:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A small plane was carrying three passengers over a mountain range -- an old man, his grandson, and an eminent scientist.

Suddenly, the pilot burst into the cabin, saying 'The engines have all failed! Grab a parachute and jump from the plane!' With this, the pilot opened the cabin door and leapt out with his parachute.

To their dismay, the 3 passengers discovered only 2 parachutes were left in the cabin!

The Eminent Scientist took a pack, saying 'I'm sorry you two, but I won a Nobel Prize, I am the head of several intellectual Think Tanks -- honestly, I'm worth more to society than either of you'. The Eminent Scientist leapt from the plane.

The Old Man turned to his grandson and said, 'My dear boy, take the last parachute. I've had a good life. Yours has just begun.'

'Don't worry, Grandpa' said the young boy, 'that guy just jumped out the plane with my backpack.'

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/27/12 11:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOL

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/27/12 2:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Height Of Student Talent....

Teachr: U Just Got 5 Marks & Still
UR Laughing.
.
.
Student: I'm Wondering How I Got 5 Marks Even I Wrote Lyrics of bollywood songs.

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/27/12 2:51 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/24/12 12:10 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert. They set up their tent and are soon asleep.

Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend. "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars, Kimosabe."

What does that tell you?" asks The Lone Ranger.

Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Kimosabe?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then says, "Tonto, you dumb-ass. Someone has stolen our tent!":

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/24/12 10:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/24/12 2:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
There were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old woman saw Joe, and mistaking him for John. Said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible"

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time for the weekend. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in her at the same time and split her right down the middle." The old woman fainted.

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/22/12 2:45 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/21/12 9:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
HEIGHT OF CORPORATE PRESSURE…
A company Employee went to Toilet..
As soon as he sat on the seat…on the Front wall this was written…
"Had u put the same Pressure at work…….
the companys Targets would have been achieved today!!"=D

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/20/12 11:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what; metal, wood, stone. Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.

The prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed.. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?

.

.

.

M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking?

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/19/12 10:36 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/19/12 4:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspensein the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised hishands with what his daughter gave him and continued.....

"My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit card to me."

The whole audience including thepriest erupted in laughter....... ... all except......

the poor Groom emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/17/12 9:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon rofl

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/16/12 1:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Two women were playing golf one sunny morning.

The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch and fell to the ground where he proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed over to the man and began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me."

"Ummph, oooh, nooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at the crotch.

But she persisted and he finally allowed her to help him.

She gently took his hands away and loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She began to massage him.

She then asked him, "How does that feel now?"

The man replied, "That feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/14/12 10:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
super emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/14/12 6:58 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it went.

My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my dreams. I love you". Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos, and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/14/12 6:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
At dinner, a little boy was ordered by his father to lead in prayer.

BOY: But I don’t know how to pray.

DAD: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc...

BOY: “Dear Lord,” he started Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again! Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed yesterday. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy’s blackberry mobile phone. And provide shelter, Lord, to the homeless men who use mom’s room when daddy is at work.

AMEN

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/14/12 2:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
An old man calls up his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.

The old man turns to his wife and says "Okay, they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfare."

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/14/12 2:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/14/12 1:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
What is Vicious Circle???

The boss calls his secretary & says:
"Get ready for d weekend, We r going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:
"Me & my boss r going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself"

The husband calls his mistress & says:
"My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun"

The mistress calls the boy to whom she gives tuition: "No tuition this weekend."

The boy calls his grand father:
"Grandpa at last we can spend this weekend together."

Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary & says: "Business trip is canceled.
I'm going to spend weekend with my grandson"

The secretary calls husband:
"I won't be going"

The husband calls his mistress:
"I am sorry My wife is not going "

The mistress calls boy:
"You have tuition"

Boy calls his grandpa & says:
"Sorry grandpa I've classes"
.

.

.

.

.

.

.
The grandpa calls secretary &... :P :P


Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/14/12 1:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/13/12 12:46 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
There was once a man who had pain in his elbow. When he went to the doctor, he was greeted by a large computer that said "urine sample, please!"

The man who had the urine sample with him handed it to the computer, which immediately responded "tennis elbow, please check back in a week!"

Next time the man decided to joke with the computer, so he had with him both his wife's, daughter's and son's urine sample and he also mixed it up with a little semen of his own. After he mixed it, he went back to the computer. The machine received the samples and the man laughed.

After a while, the computer says "your son is on drugs, your daughter is pregnant, your wife is cheating and if you do not stop jerking off soon you will never get rid of the tennis elbow!"

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/13/12 12:46 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/11/12 11:28 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; “So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied,"I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued,"And look at this,
here's another miracle.

My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks,"Aren't you having any?"
She replies,"Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

Moral:
Men will NEVER learn !

Women will Never change!!! =D

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/11/12 9:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/11/12 4:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/10/12 11:04 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The Obedient Wife'

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
And was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.

I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart. Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
'Wait just a moment!'

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said,
'Girl, I know you were not foolish
enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a Christian;

I cannot go back on my word. I promised him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife.
'I got all the money together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque....
If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/10/12 9:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sad but true emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/10/12 6:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
An Engineering Student to his Sweeper:

Bhai Mere Paas Degree hai, Knowledge hai
Tere Paas Kya Hai..:/ ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sweeper: Mere Paas Naukri Hai.

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/9/12 8:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good one emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/8/12 10:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Excellent ones emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/8/12 8:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Should children witness child birth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place........smack his ass again!":

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/7/12 1:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/7/12 12:50 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/7/12 12:50 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/6/12 1:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Lady: Do you smoke?

Man: Yes

Lady: How many packs a day?

Man: 3 packs

Lady: How much per pack

Man: $10.00

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?

Man: Correct

Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?

Man: Correct

Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you smoke?

Lady: No

Man: Where's your Ferrari then? :P

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/6/12 1:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/6/12 11:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answered, "That's easy! We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman said, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily replied, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and said, in a very testy voice, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "And think hard before answering, so you don't say something completely idiotic."

The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "Hmmmm...The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman was stunned speechless, because he honestly didn't know whether the suspect wore contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that." He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file in his computer, and came back beaming. "Wow!" he said, "I can't believe it...It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! But how were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses, because he only has one eye and one ear.

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/6/12 10:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
a good one! emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/6/12 3:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/6/12 3:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/6/12 1:01 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Wife hit her husband with frying pan.
Husband: What was that for…?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/5/12 11:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/5/12 11:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon such a mean fellow!! poor wife!! emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/5/12 8:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Husband sent a text to his wife at
night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash
all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite
dish before I return."

He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I got an
increase in my salary
at the end of the month I'm getting
you a new car"

She text back, "OMG really?"

Husband replied,
"No I just wanted to make sure you got
my first message".

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/5/12 8:40 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
ROFL....

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/4/12 10:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"

The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/4/12 11:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/4/12 9:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS...!!!

Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK

Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kahin baaki hai: CONSTIPATION

Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai: ACIDITY

Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon : CATARACT

Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna : ALZEIMERS

Mann dole mera tann dole : VERTIGO.

Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne aag lagayee : BURNING SENSATION WHILE URINATING

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha hai..... HIGH BP

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen per nahin padte mere........CORN ON FEET

Haay re haay Neend nahin aaye....... INSOMNIA

Edited by: MIRFA71 at: 12/4/2012 (09:34)
 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/4/12 9:27 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye! emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/4/12 9:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A famous Inspirational speaker said:

"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife."

Audience was in shock nd silence.
He added:
"She was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter

A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.

Aftr dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"

Standing for a moment, trying to recall the 2nd line of that speaker
By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water !

Moral:
Dn't Copy, if U can't Paste.

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/4/12 9:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
hahahaha good one....

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/4/12 8:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
If animals have FACEBOOK/ BBM/ WhatsApp, these are most likely to be their Status Updates :

COCKROACH: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!"

Mosquito: "I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking"

Pig: "Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! "

Goat : "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon"
,
Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC....

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
12/3/12 10:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
All of emoticon these are emoticon emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/3/12 9:34 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Double-mint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.

Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/3/12 9:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
hahah emoticon a nice one..

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/3/12 6:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Wife apne Husband se boli :
Dekho Ji , Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss - Wiss na kiya karo .
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tabhi Kaamwali Boli : Madam Ji ,Achhi Tarah se Samjha do ,Main to bol - bol ke Thak
Gayi..

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/3/12 6:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/3/12 1:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ...... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use ;)

Men will be Men. :D:D

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/3/12 12:57 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/2/12 1:02 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
‎21st Century

In a Grammar class

Teacher:- "HE does not like girls " What is 'He' in this sentence. . ??
.
.
.
.
Students :- Gay. . . . !!

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/2/12 1:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Wife: Give me your phone for a second.

Husband: Wait let me switch it on.
Delete video.
Delete picture.
Delete music.
Delete private folder Delete number.
Delete sms.
Delete out going calls.
Delete incoming calls.
Delete mms.
Delete what's app. Delete bbm.
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete Delete
FORMAT Memory Card.
Here u go I have nothing to hide from u!!

Wife: I just wanted to see the time..

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
12/2/12 12:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
12/1/12 12:46 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and goes into a coma.

After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them, if you don't mind me saying he does seem a bit of a redneck!"

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not such a bad name! I like Denise!"

Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, "DeNephew."

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
11/30/12 12:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/30/12 12:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
blonde went to a soda machine, She inserted two quarters and pushed the RED button. She heard some noise, and saw a can of Coke emerge.

She then started searching her large purse for some more money. About this time, a biker came up behind her, and waited patiently for her to finish.

She located a dollar bill and inserted it into the machine. More noises. She then pressed the Green button, and was rewarded with a can of Sprite.

She fumbled with the change in the Return slot, and put it back into the Deposit slot. She then pushed the Orange button, and received a can of Crush.

The biker then asked her, "Are you finished YET?"

She then replied, "Finished, Nothin'! I'm still winning!"

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/30/12 12:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
zabardast....fantastic...loved to read in Hindi...

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/29/12 1:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Judge:
Tumhari Akhri Wish?

Mujrim:
Aap Ki Beti Se Shadi,
ek iPhone,
50 Crore Rupaye, USA Ka
Visa,
2 Saal Ka Honeymoon,
6-7 Bache Jo Aap Ko Nana Nana Kahen
Or Mujhe Papa,Or Main Un Sab Ki Shadi Karwa Dun,

Uske Baad Aap Jo Fesla do Mujhe Manzor Honga.

Judge:
Ha Ha Ha…

Meri Koi Beti Hi Nhi..
Latka do Saale Ko.....

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
11/29/12 11:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/29/12 2:48 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MIRFA71 at: 11/29/2012 (02:48)
 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/29/12 12:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A daring vacationer in Vienna is walking through a graveyard on Halloween when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is around, so she starts looking to see where it’s coming from.

She finally locates the source and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads, “Ludwig van Beethoven.”

Then she realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward. Puzzled, she leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with her.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but it is also being played backward.

Curious, the ladies agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing and the expert concludes that the symphonies are in fact being played in reverse order.

By the next day the word spread and a huge group gathered around the grave to hear the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker approaches the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!!"

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/28/12 12:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/28/12 9:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said,

"Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/28/12 8:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/28/12 3:30 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife, but accidentally called the cricket stadium.

He asks, “How’s the situation?”

He was shocked and nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck!”

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/28/12 3:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
11/27/12 12:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/27/12 11:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Height of misunderstanding:

Mr. Kapoor comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news... I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Kapoor receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.

" Am I speaking to Mrs. Kapoor? "

"Yes... speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files... HOW ???"

" Yes ..... We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD !!!... This is too much..."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am just following orders... I have to inform that you are overdue.."

"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.. "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull,rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts..

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"Well... I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle.

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
11/26/12 9:37 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon Nice

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/26/12 9:01 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
DRASADAF's Photo DRASADAF SparkPoints: (35,670)
Fitness Minutes: (33,771)
Posts: 1,315
11/26/12 8:58 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Sadaf
Saudi Arabia.

Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.

https://www.fitbit.com/user/2H2RKT


 current weight: 194.0 
 
216
206
196
186
176
*MADHU*'s Photo *MADHU* SparkPoints: (186,173)
Fitness Minutes: (52,226)
Posts: 24,975
11/25/12 12:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.


 current weight: 124.7 
 
127
124.75
122.5
120.25
118
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/24/12 1:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
“90 year man- "My 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor?"

Doctor- Let me tell u a story...A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and BANG... The lion drops dead!

Old man- That is impossible, someone else must have shot the lion!

Doctor: EXACTLY !

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
MIRFA71's Photo MIRFA71 SparkPoints: (35,206)
Fitness Minutes: (12,648)
Posts: 4,551
11/24/12 1:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

 July Minutes: 0
 
0
250
500
750
1000
Page: 1 of (28)   1 2 Next Page › Last Page »

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Indians Unite! JAI HO! General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics: Last Post:
How u guys manage weight this festival season. 9/29/2013 11:50:22 AM
Check-in with team members & Chat here 4/19/2014 12:58:50 PM
a 1200 cal sample indian diet 1/30/2014 3:52:06 PM
Devils Circuit 5K Run in India 9/4/2013 10:19:13 AM
Lets start the workout again!! 12/31/2013 11:44:17 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x2180x20114511

Review our Community Guidelines