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Wow - well said you guys are the best! Virtual Hug!
I agree, this is a life change. I am not solely doing this to look good, I am trying to prevent Diabetes which my dad has severely. What other people say is not important in this matter - when it comes down to it. That is my new mantra!
It is that thing about expectations, I guess. We all have them, but the less we dwell on them, the better we will do. Just the fact that is takes so long to lose weight is a test in patience and makes us re-evaluate over and over.
I am not a shy person, as you can tell by my profile. But I am fairly modest. I think the root of my post here is that I am not so comfortable explaining things to people, especially a certain one or two. Not everyone, I have a big handful of people who truly want me to succeed. And that is why I love this team, we all want the best for each other.
I think it is related to my fear of failure - OH THERE SHE GOES AGAIN ANOTHER DIET - I'M SURE THIS WONT LAST! Not that I am a chronic dieter but I have been up and down in the past. It is MY fear and I am annoyed at myself for even caring what these insecure people think. YIKES! One is really close to me - an unavoidable person, if you know what I mean. This person will not be on my side - at least for awhile and thankfully she has not noticed yet. I wish things could be different but in my older years I have learned that I can't change her. But I can change how I deal and react. I am much better than I used to be.
So what do you say to these types of people who ask if you are losing weight and you don't want to talk about it?
Any good one liners?
I think it is harder to "notice" on someone you see day after day. A lot of times you wear the same clothes - even though they are getting loser people don't "see" it really. Then one day you wear something that actually fits (lucky me I am still "closet shopping") and people THEN start to do a double take and it hits them like a brick. for example - as you all know, I have been pretty much the same these last couple of weeks but a girl here at work was on vaca from the 6th until the 23rd and when she came back she said wow you've lost alot since I was gone - but I hadn't. She is a close friend of mine and has been "in on it" since I started back in Jan. so even her "knowing" wasn't seeing it in the day to day.
it is very hard to want someone to notice yet not want to become the center of attention -you are SO right about the double edged sword
at the end of the day - remember this... what you are doing is for YOU and your health! what people notice or what they say is part of the package and we can deal with that the same as we do any other "challenge" or "circumstance" or piece of cake (LOL) when it comes and head on!
My husband is having the same frustration. I totally can tell he's getting smaller when I put my arms around him and looking at his face, but he's not going down pants size yet. He's waiting to hear someone comment based on his looks alone.
As for me, I agree with it being a double-edged sword. On one hand, it would be nice to get compliments, but at some point I can start feeling uncomfortable with them, depending on who is giving them. I've become more private in recent years with regards to health, and don't want my body to be the subject of attention necessarily. Because if people are remarking how amazing I look, it must mean they had to think about how I was pretty gross before, right?
I know this is my own hangup and I should get over it. It's just that there is a difference in getting a compliment from someone I'm close to and trust enough to feel free to discuss it, and being pressed by others to talk about it -- my weight issue has been nearly a lifelong struggle and a source of shame and pain. It's hard sometimes to be gracious without getting emotional.
Even though it's been such a short time I've been on this team, I feel like we're in this together and have been there for each other through some ups and downs already. YOU GUYS understand, and I would not feel uncomfortable getting/giving compliments. But my random neighbor, or naturally-skinny-eats-all-she-wants-never-
exercises friend, etc., them not so much, at least not yet. Not that I don't think they're genuinely happy for me or interested, it's just my own discomfort with acknowledging where I was before.
I'm only this far, and only tomorrow leads my way -- #41, DMB
Pulling this thread back up...
I was reading an article about a woman who has lost 70 lbs here and she mentioned how frustrating it was in the beginning that no one noticed her weight loss for the first 30 pounds. She mentioned it was a double edged sword, because when people finally started to notice, that is all they would talk to her about - food and diet!!
We live in a visual society...
I was feeling a bit frustrated that no one has noticed my weight loss yet, even though I have lost 16 pounds and a few inches. Not one word! I am quite tall (5'9")and large framed which is actually a blessing because I carry and hide it well.
Well, people not noticing is not gonna stop me...
I am noticing changes for sure, especially my face and my rings. Pants are looser but not loose enough!!
That is a nice thing about the skirt Kayla!
Kobe, my best gal friend is a runner and does all the local events and is training for the bigger marathons. I think that is terrific and I know you can do it. I also know from her how hard it is to train.
My knees don't hurt all the time anymore!
I'm only this far, and only tomorrow leads my way -- #41, DMB
I did really well Jan. - Apr. then kind of slacked off and had a hard time getting motivated and focused again. Now that the weather has gotten nicer, I am playing volleyball and just got into softball again I find that my energy has been revived - plus having you guys to bounce things off and go through the ups and downs with. Hopefully I am back on track now. I need to get running again because August is right around the corner and that is when I am going to try a 5K.
i bought a new skirt and am wearing it today.. and if you knew me, you'd know i don't wear skirts.. ever! i don't even wear shorts most of the time... i don't look any better in it than i did but just being healthy i FEEL better and more confident no matter what i look like
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.
You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!
Along the same lines as my last thread about other people noticing - What have you noticed about yourself since losing weight and exercising?
I had more energy at my softball game...for sure. I was not winded at all and it was a fairly warm evening. It felt great! Also noticing a little lighter on my feet, clothes a little looser and rings not so tight!
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