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I think it is such a private matter, yet everyone can relate to dieting.
That is tough about an unsupportive hubby - maybe my story (in reverse!) will shed some light:
My hubby actually started losing weight and getting fit about 6 months ago and I was the one holding out. I just wasn't ready for some reason. I had a million reasons but nothing moved me. When I was accepted into the nursing program and realized that I would need to get a complete physical and have energy, I came around and hubby turned me on to Spark.
I actually found myself sabotaging my hubby because I felt guilty for not joining him. But he is patient and has thick skin and let it roll off him and never got on me about my own lack of motivation. He is a smart guy, he knows that there is nothing he can say to motivate me. That has to come from within. But when I saw his energy level go up and he started looking good - not just physically but that little inner glow, I was like - I WANT SOME OF THAT!
So back to the support thing, I guess there is a little fear of failure at the root of my not sharing, to care so much what other people think and say. I am aware and working on that in myself, for sure, but for now, my intuition is telling me that Spark alone is plenty of motivation for me!
So thanks for all of your support it means a lot to me!
Edited by: NURSEGIBSON at: 5/28/2008 (11:09)
Oh, yesssssssss. I can totally relate. I hate when people ask me about it all the time. I told my younger sister, who is very supportive, and my husband, about my struggles and that I'm working out and doing hi protein/low carb. But I don't give my husband too many details either, because then he starts giving advice and being critical of the plan and it doesn't help. I just told him I'm trying to do low carb. He needs to lose weight too, but isn't motivated at the moment. I would LOVE it if he would walk with me every evening after dinner. But anyway, even my friends, I don't like if they ask me about it -- I'd rather they wait till I bring it up. That's why it's nice to have a board like this. Then when you feel like talking about it, you can choose when and where to talk about it. ; ) My younger sister is very supportive and doesn't hound me about it. I know exactly what you mean that there are certain people who will "check" your progress. What is UP with that? I have regretted telling certain people things about my fitness goals & plans so now I just talk about other things & change the subject.
Yes! In the past, I have heard the "Don't lose too much weight" and "Don't become anorexic!" And I am far from that for sure!
Sometimes the comments are more about themselves than me. My weight loss really does not affect their lives - at all - they don't need to know, unless they truly have something positive to offer or vice versa. Maybe I am cynical!
I absolutely know that in about a month people will be asking if I am losing weight and how I am doing it. Once I am established and know I am strong enough, I will be more than happy to share my success and maybe inspire others.
But for now - my lips are zipped!
I can totally relate! My hubby knows, of course, and he's trying to lose some weight as well. I talk to my mom about exercise, because she bikes and walks like I do. I don't talk to anyone else in real life about my lifestyle changes right now.
I've found in the past when I've opened up about trying to lose weight with friends and coworkers, that they would constantly ask me questions and make suggestions. That's not necessarily bad, but it's a lot of pressure. And inevitably they would try to push food on me at some point or make comments like "don't lose too much weight!" -- something ridiculous for them to say because I'd be nowhere near a healthy weight at the time. I think that's people's way of saying "we love you and don't care if you're fat" and they think they're being nice, but I'd rather they not say anything at all.
I'm only this far, and only tomorrow leads my way -- #41, DMB
Except for my hubby, who inspired me by his actions to start this...
I have told no one in my circle (except for my walking buddies) that I am changing my eating and exercise habits. I found that in the past, it sets me up to fail. I didn't want that pressure, to have certain people watch what I eat and to measure my every move. I imagine they will notice pretty soon and start asking questions. There are some definate saboteurs in my life and I would like to keep them at bay, right now. At least until my new habits are firmly established.
There are some people who understand more than others. But not everyone in my life gets it, especially if they have their own issues.
This is the first time that I have ever been quiet about "dieting" and it has been much much easier for me. I do have my support - especially everyone at Spark!
Can anyone relate?
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