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Posts: 16 3/25/12 10:52 A
"And I agree with Jodie--we can agree to disagree at this point, and let the whole discussion just go--each one of us has our own way of looking at life, and at ourselves--and if you feel that way, thats fine! and if I feel another, thats fine too. Everyone has their own row to hoe. "
I was quite willing to do that before the comment about how I apparently don't understand what I'm talking about because of my age and that I'll come around once I grow up - if the difference is really mere "semantics" (which I kind of think myself) then what on earth does my age have to do with it?
Carry on though; I won't comment any more. I really didn't think it was worth a day's worth of discussion myself.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/25/12 9:37 A
Ash--I over-analyze EVERYTHING. As Elisabeth Gilbert said in her book, EAT PRAY LOVE--sometimes I would just like an 'unexamined lunch'. And I agree with Jodie--we can agree to disagree at this point, and let the whole discussion just go--each one of us has our own way of looking at life, and at ourselves--and if you feel that way, thats fine! and if I feel another, thats fine too. Everyone has their own row to hoe.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/25/12 9:33 A
BEES--it takes courage to post when you feel you have 'screwed up' thank you for posting. I think you made some important obseravations , as you are ONLY requested to do in the first few weeks of SY. You were completely aware, and thats a very positive thing... now--may I humbly suggest, going back and examining things BEFORE the binge--what was the trigger? what was irking you that you didnt want to deal with, and wanted to escape from? I find often that journalling really helps me--just starting to write something down--even if it doesnt appear that I KNOW what the trigger was, often, when I start writing--it just comes out. Also--take note of the 'quality' and 'duration' of the binge--ask yourself--was it shorter, less fulfilling? did it "work" as well as in the past? Mini-binges are rather common too, as you work through the process--and later on--as you become more and more aware, and get more adept at handling the issues--the binges are WAY less gratifying. That part actuallly makes me quite sad--sometimes I really miss the escape.
BEES - If you consider your weight loss, it seems as though you do know how to make it stop sometimes. I don't think any of us know for sure we will stop it forever and ever. Dr. Gould talks about being aware - that even if the binge happens, the most important thing is to be aware - of what happened prior to the binge, how we felt, how felt during, etc. In short, learn as much from this episode that you can before dusting yourself off and moving forward.
And I know those mini eggs, they have teeny-tiny little voices that call my name.
Posts: 113 3/25/12 7:06 A
Ashley - I don't want to argue semantics with you, I hear you, we don't share the same perception. May we please let this end and just agree to disagree? Please?
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/25/2012 (07:15)
Fitness Minutes: (13,830) Posts: 394 3/24/12 11:20 P
well...i did it..i totally binged last night.....i was doing so well throughout the day and then last night i was tired and going home to an empty house with nothing to do...i stopped at the drug store and bought 2 bags of mini eggs and inhaled them when i got home...i knew exactly what i was doing and i just could not control myself. this frustrates me. i wish i knew how to stop it...i felt it happening, i saw it happening but i could not stop it from happening! i am still reading through SY and hope that i will come across the tools to help in these situations...i know that i am ready to stop this...i am aware of it and i just need to know how to make myself stop.
Pounds lost: 52.0
Posts: 16 3/24/12 10:40 P
I. Was. Never. Arguing. Against. Considering. The. Ultimate. Effect. Of. Your. Actions. On. Yourself.
Ultimate effect vs. momentary effect was never the distinction I was making at all. I have stated this outright several times. I really don't know how I can be any clearer.
Posts: 113 3/24/12 9:18 P
Ashley, at the risk of sounding condescending, I'm going to play the age card here. I came to a point in my life where how things ultimately made me feel HAD to be the reason why or why not I did them. When I was your age I likely felt the same way as you do now, I don't anymore.
Everyone here wants to be heard. Perhaps it is time to gracefully agree to disagree.
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/24/2012 (21:32)
Posts: 16 3/24/12 4:23 P
Oh Laura, just caught this edit:
"to be perfectly honest--I wish I felt like you. I think waaaayyy too much. "
Hehe, wow. I never thought I'd see those two statements, in that order, directed at me of all people.
Posts: 16 3/24/12 4:17 P
Thanks L. I'd like to make one more remark on that discussion spurred by that one offhand comment of mine that I didn't expect to have to explain to this extent. :
Even if it IS true that every single little thing we do affects our self-esteem in some way, I don't think that always ought to be the only motivation to do it, or even the most important one. And I suppose that's what's really bugging me about that quote: it gives you the impression that your self-image needs to be THE source of your satisfaction in life, and that nothing else really counts. And I think that's an unhealthy attitude.
Re: blogs - I have noticed they've been recycled, and yeah I don't get it either. Why not just leave them up there for people to read if he doesn't have the time to write new ones? Why make it look like he's writing new stuff if he's not?
Edited by: ASHLEYY83 at: 3/24/2012 (18:19)
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/24/12 3:51 P
Ash--Sorry if you feel I havent 'heard' you. I guess the difference is that I think that little activities like the ones you mentioned DO affect my self esteem, thats all--I think thats where the confusion is lying: you dont think they do, and I do. Fair enough. :) I think we are pretty much entitled to think differently. And to be perfectly honest--I wish I felt like you. I think waaaayyy too much.
On another note, its kind of bugging me that a lot of Dr. G's blogs are recycled ones--is that unrealistic? that he should write new blogs all the time?? but maybe nothing is new in the world of Emotional eating?
"I think we're saying that we need to be aware of the effects those choices have on us."
That's...what I pretty much said. I'm getting the sense now that no one is hearing what I'm actually saying.
I'm talking specifically about things that DON'T affect your self-image. Like the things I listed. They don't make me feel good "about myself" particularly. They don't make me feel bad about myself either. Nor do they chip away at me slightly and eventually lead to to a lower self-image. They just feel good, period. Getting absorbed in something enjoyable to the point where you forget about yourself entirely. That's not the same thing as doing something to feel good about yourself, because it's productive or empowering or whatever. It doesn't harm your self-image either. It's just a valuable part of life, for its own sake.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/24/12 3:25 P
I am really enjoying this discussion. Its really got me thinking. I like nice stuff, and having a nice body lotion or a nice soap--makes me feel good and makes me feel good about myself. I have been trying to see HOW it makes me feel good about myself--I mean--come on...its SOAP..but it does. If I buy a nice soap--it means that I think I am worthy of it. I am worthy of a nice soap. Its interesting, because if i am in binge mode--my personal hygiene is bare minimum at best. It seems so pointless to me to do my nails, or have soft skin, when I am binging my butt off....
Laura gave perfect examples of seemingly innocuous and feel good choices that end up having an impact. I used to think I could do things that just felt good right then, I could name a couple of hot sailors ;) but I was in denial that it had no effect on me. My self-esteem is a complicated combination of all of the facets of my life and is influenced, maybe even defined, by how I handle myself and the choices I make on a moment by moment basis. Are some choices more momentous than others? You bet! But the longer I walk the planet the more I see how those tiny little choices often changed the course of my life; sometimes by themselves and other times in connection with other tiny choices.
I don't think either one of us is saying don't do things that feel good, I married one of those hot sailors, I think we're saying that we need to be aware of the effects those choices have on us. That's all.
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/24/2012 (15:03)
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/24/12 1:13 P
"But just plain, “Don’t do things that just make you feel good”? Well $hit, why not?" because they are fake. they dont stand alone. They impact. For example--lets take shopping...if I shop, instead of eat ( which I do) I dont really feel good about doing that. Buying a pair of shoes I dont need, makes me feel good, but not good about myself. Unless, I am buying the shoes as a reward ( binge free for a week) or they fit into the budget. So yeah, I could buy them and get that momentary charge of feel good--but its short lived and inside--I dont feel good about myself. To the casual observer--the act looks the same--but only I can determine if its an impulsive 'feel good' moment or a 'feel good about myself moment" We might be splitting hairs--but I know what I mean. :) GREAT DISCUSSION TEAM!
Gotcha. So it sounds like the two of you are really talking about considering the long-term impact of your actions on your mood and sense of self, rather than just doing whatever you feel like doing all the time. And I can wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment, and if that’s what the two of YOU are trying to get across, then cool. But I don’t think that’s what THAT QUOTATION is saying:
“Don’t do things that just make you feel good; do things that make you feel good about yourself”.
It’s specifically singling out “feeling good about yourself” from all the other types of feeling good, and saying it’s the only good feeling worth aiming for. And yeah, feeling good about yourself and feeling good generally are connected, but they’re not the same thing.
Jodie, you said, “Let me broaden self-esteem to feeling good and feeling good about life and myself”. See, my whole problem with this saying is that self-esteem DOESN’T mean all that. It specifically means feeling good about yourself, proud, confident, etc. Feeling good generally and feeling good about life are certainly related to self-esteem, but they’re different things. A lot of the great stuff you listed (boosting serotonin levels, living in the moment, experiencing joy and abandon, etc.) really falls under the “just plain feels good” category.
I would agree with the statement, “Don’t do things that make you feel good temporarily but are ultimately demoralizing/disempowering/harmful”. Or "Don't spend ALL your time doing things that just make you feel good, without also spending time on things that empower you, etc." But just plain, “Don’t do things that just make you feel good”? Well $hit, why not?
Edited by: ASHLEYY83 at: 3/24/2012 (12:36)
Posts: 113 3/24/12 10:24 A
PTCHOO? Is that cyber-spitting? Is that allowed?
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/24/2012 (10:25)
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/24/12 9:16 A
Ashley--YES!! we need a quote feature! Stupid SP. PTCHOO!!! :) And let me say how glad I am that you have all those thing that you make you feel good about yourself--I really am. I hope you felt good about yourself just writing it! I know that when I read it, it made me smile...and Jodie--thank you for answering the young'un with a perfect response--you did that very well, and much better than I could.
In fact, let me highlight how I know this is true, but focusing on some seemingly neutral activities that are the opposite of those 'feel good' moments that you describe Ashley-- --Having a bite of chocolate or chips/dip that is not on your food plan that is eaten in a 'binge mode' mind set.
--Snapping a sarcastic, beeyotchy comment to a friend or co-worker because you are angry and it just came out.
--having a hissy fit and slamming the door and going off in a huff.
--being rude to someone that didnt really deserve it.
--wallowing an hour or day too long....
all these things are not horrible, but they are the opposites of what you describe....the seemingly empty moments of life that seem to have no impact on our Self esteem--but they do. Because those moments add up, and affect how we feel about ourselves overall, in the long haul. I think anyway.
Ashley - Let me broaden self-esteem to feeling good and feeling good about life and myself:
Sitting outside on a sunny day - Not only organically boosts the seratonin levels in my brain, it also is a wonderful time out, a way to care for myself and do something special - lifts my sense of self/self-esteem because I took care of myself;
Reading a book or something online I found entertaining - same argument minus the seratonin.
Laughing - Also proven to boost seratonin levels in my brain but is also a wonderful way to practice abandon, living in the moment and pure joy - lifts my sense of self/self-esteem because I'm being genuine and really experiencing the moment.
Music - One of the least neutral experiences I have in my life. If I'm sad and want to be more sad, "My Sweet Lady" by John Denver - the song my parents used to dance to when she was fighting a brain tumor, she lost the fight, the song still makes me cry. If I want to relax and unwind, "Southern Cross" by Crosby, Stills & Nash - so soothing. When I used to get ready to go out with my roommate, "Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors - sexy, sets the mood for the evening.
L and I aren't talking about "Wow, brushing my teeth really makes me feel wonderful about myself and now I have a different outlook on life." I think what we're talking about is the "garbage in, garbage out" theory. If you program a computer with bad data, you will receive bad results. If you program your brain with bad experiences and negative actions that is what you will end up with. If you fill your brain with laughter and funny readings or great literature and music that too is what you will end up with or, even, what you will put out into the world.
We are rebuilding ourselves - brick upon brick. All of those little wonderful things accumulate and ultimately make us stronger.
And I love a bite of a perfect dessert and a one or two margarita buzz.
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/24/2012 (08:23)
Posts: 16 3/24/12 12:08 A
I really wish this board had a quote feature.
Laura ~ "Ashley its so great that you are starting to experience the feeling of being OK without the distraction. Thats real progress, eh?"
Oh, huge. And I didn’t really think about that until yesterday…I seriously can’t remember the last time it’s been this quiet in my head. The last time I really didn’t have all these worries and helpless thoughts circling around in the background all the time, when the highlight of my day was just anything at all that would give me a break. Before I started university, maybe? But of course, that didn’t last. That is great that you’re experiencing something similar. Even if it doesn’t last I know it's possible now I guess.
" give me an example of something that has a truly neutral effect on your mood or self-esteem---I cant think of one. Even brushing my teeth gives me a pleasant feeling."
Well, I was talking specifically about self-esteem. Anything pleasurable will lift your mood at least for a bit, that’s what pleasure is, but that thing you said was making a distinction between lifting your mood (feeling good) and lifting your self-esteem (feeling good about yourself).
As for pleasurable things that don’t affect my self-esteem one way or the other…wow, there are tons. I’m honestly surprised people would claim there aren’t any. Seriously. There is NO pleasure in life that isn’t related to self-image? Really?
Okay, so here are some times I've enjoyed myself recently that didn't affect my self-esteem:
Sitting outside on a sunny day
Watching a stand-up comedy special
Reading a book or something online that isn’t particularly intellectual, but that I find entertaining and engaging
Stumbling across a clueless, angry amazon review over a stupid little kids’ picture book about a farting dog, which hit me in such a way that I LMAO’d for about twenty minutes straight, to the point that my brother got irritated listening to me and slammed his bedroom door, which only made me laugh more
Having a good laugh over ANYTHING, for that matter
Listening to music that grabs me, or moves me, or is just uplifting and catchy, and getting absorbed in it.
Purposely ignoring my dog when she tries to get my attention, just so she’ll do that thing where she comes up from behind and shoves her nose into my armpit (which she knows never fails to get a reaction)
And yes, enjoying the occasional food treat that I don’t really need…a reasonable portion of it. Or having a few drinks and getting nice buzz, within the limits I’ve set for myself there.
I had many more when I was a kid. When I think back to the best parts of my childhood, they had nothing to do with my self-esteem. My favourite things were just fun things that made me lose myself in the moment for a while. Rolling down a grass hill, horseback riding, riding the waves in an amusement park wavepool or at the beach, playing the violin (I got some self-esteem from that too I guess, but that really was not my main motivation when I enjoyed it most...and actually it became much less satisfying once it did become about my self-image).
I get that we need to think about the long-term effects of our actions on ourselves, because yeah, sometimes what will feel BEST in the moment will lead to feeling worse in the long-term. But I think the distinction is just that: short-term versus long-term. Not feeling good versus feeling good about yourself. You don't have to pick just one.
Posts: 113 3/22/12 10:20 P
You think I curse, you should hear my daughter. Just last week, after a particularly colorful turn of phrase from her I said, "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Yeah, kids say the darndest things Oh, and by the way, she's 29 and a firefighter, she hasn't got a chance to clean up her mouth.
Anyhoo, I love words, LOVE them and curse words are just part of the spectrum, as it were. Just imagine having to go back to a box of 8 crayons after you're used to using the 64 pack with the sharpener in the back. How do you describe blue as just blue if it's cornflower??? How do you say, 'well rats!' when 'oh for f sake!' is deliciously more descriptive and packs a punch?
And that's my defense of cussing.
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/22/2012 (22:20)
Posts: 1,080 3/22/12 8:38 P
I used to curse--sailor style. Then my kid asked me to stop. Any idea how tiny THAT made me feel? I wasn't cursing AT her, just around her. I haven't totally broken the habit, but I am much, much better. I think I used cursing as another way of covering up what I was really feeling by putting on my anger mask. It's a lot easier to be angry and folks usually leave you alone.
current weight: 219.0
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/22/12 8:32 P
ohhhh Jodie--cussing...hmmmm let me think about that. On the one hand, I feel like a bad girl and a rebel ( enpowering) and while it might not be lady like--I dont give a fig. Nope, for me, cussing while not 'proper' is an enpowering feeling for me...and solely because it ISNT proper. ( take THAT mom!) Hmmmm interesting.
Looks like I got here too late to talk about bubbies, oh well. And for the record, I love to cuss. I wish I didn't, sometimes.
Moving on...I'm trying to think of something that makes me feel good momentarily but has no effect on my self-esteem...there was that sailor in San Diego...bad example...I guess my mind goes to buying myself a rose but even that makes me feel like I've treated myself with extra care and tenderness. Nope, I can't come up with one either. I think I now believe that things either make me feel better about myself (or are empowering) or they only make me feel better for a moment (and are power stealers). RATS! That could mean that cussing isn't neutral either. RATS!!!
Great discussion, SY/SP folks!
And I could never call her Harriet either but I was able to come up with something that worked for me.
Edited by: JODIEST at: 3/22/2012 (20:30)
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/22/12 7:57 P
Ash YOu said: Don't do something that just makes you feel good for a moment? But...why can't I do something that makes me feel good momentarily, and has a neutral effect on my self-image?? A) you can do whatever you want. B) give me an example of something that has a truly neutral effect on your mood or self-esteem---I cant think of one. Even brushing my teeth gives me a pleasant feeling.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/22/12 7:50 P
LOL--yes lets talk about breasts!! :) Nice dialogue folks! I find that when I am on point, and at peace--the negative voice in my head really shuts up--actually --its just dawning on me--I think thats why I am at peace!! Holy Smokes!! A mini epiphany. The negative self talk has stopped. Now, instead of a million messages a day about my 'weight' ( by that I mean, food, size of my thighs, how my clothes fit. etc etc) I have only ' atta girl' messages--it happened automatically, but its there. Cool. Ashley--I like that too--less frantic "to fill up the empty spaces in my head" Nice. You know--that makes me think about the concept of change. Over the past 9 months, I have been breaking up with my bf. ( I KNOW I KNOW) anyhoo--without him--there is a huge VOID that I have to fill. I am not ready to fill the void with something else--I want him. I dont want empty space. It used to be food--so it IS an empty space. Soooo I often ended up calling him. I wasnt ready for the void. I think we all do that, in some way..but often its not a void. Its a door. We want to keep the door shut, and food helps us do that. The minute we stop using the food, the door LOOMS. Distraction/Distraction--internet/tv/cleaning /spark people/recipie hunting/spark teams/gym/ shopping/sleeping etc etc. or if we are feeling weak and vulnerable and H.A.L. T--we eat. Ashley its so great that you are starting to experience the feeling of being OK without the distraction. Thats real progress, eh? I think, as we become more comfortable with life without the food our mind calms, and we dont need the constant diversions. Even Good diversions can keep that door shut.
Ahhhahahaha! So talking about breasts is cool then? Good to know.
By the way, the mushroom is actually spelled with two i's: shiitake. So we can talk about those too.
Posts: 1,080 3/22/12 6:42 P
Ashley--my name is Tiffany. Lol on the swearing. I was listing my groceries once for Laura and couldn't figure out what the trigger was. I thought it has to be chicken breasts. Oh no! It was a certain Japanese mushroom whose first syllable rhymes with spit and ends with ake. I just left it out.
current weight: 219.0
Posts: 16 3/22/12 6:24 P
tbellaw (is your name Tiffany, btw? I thought I remembered people calling you that, but I forgot where): I wrote this long post to you in response to your "d*** good question", and I just lost the whole thing because SparkPeople gave me this message scolding me for swearing! Lol. And when I tried to go back my message was gone.
So, I only have the energy to summarize now: I feel a lot less powerless. That is the gist of it.I feel like I can take the actions I need to, make changes happen, and allow some negative emotions and thoughts to come and go without becoming overwhelmed by them or necessarily buying into the "negative talk" Jibbie just mentioned (I hate calling it Harriet though; that gets up my....well, I guess I'm not allowed to tell you what it does to me).
SparkPeople should NOT be stifling my authentic voice like that. Not cool.
Posts: 54,022 3/22/12 5:46 P
Roger Gould, M.D. says we have to learn to tell "HARRIET" to SHUT UP, and know we don't have to listen to the negative talk.
current weight: 172.4
Posts: 1,080 3/22/12 4:57 P
Ashley--I like this statement--"It's like I no longer feel like I need to fill up the empty spaces in my mind." What do you think contributed the most to this frame of mind?
current weight: 219.0
Posts: 16 3/22/12 4:26 P
Don't do something that just makes you feel good for a moment? But...why can't I do something that makes me feel good momentarily, and has a neutral effect on my self-image??
Laura, that's odd about comparing only your younger self to young people. Is it in a regretful way, or is it more detached? I don't do anything like that; I think in some ways my brain still hasn't really grasped that I'm getting older. I'm about to shuffle off the edge of my twenties, and in some ways it feels like no time has passed at all. I haven't REALLY wasted all this time, have I? I suppose I've had to deny it for quite some time, so I could continue on avoiding everything I didn't want to face. But I still look quite young (strangers often guess me to be in my late teens), and mentally I guess I'm still childlike in some ways. So it doesn't seem real.
Odd thing I'm just starting to notice: I find myself less interested in things like watching TV, endlessly reading things on the internet. Things I used to do all the time while I ate, and even after I stopped with the eating that would always be the highlight of my day. Just constant passive distraction...I don't want so much of it now. I used to want to do that stuff constantly, used to hate that I had to do other things. I just went for a walk today for no reason: it wasn't with the dog, wasn't part of any exercise program or anything. I just felt like getting out of the house. I never understood how that could actually be recreation for people; I'd always be bored and restless to get home where I could plop back in front of the computer. Outside, ooo, wowee, big deal. But it was a different experience today. I've also been just sitting outside with my dog, which I never liked to do before either. It's like I no longer feel like I need to fill up the empty spaces in my mind.
Don't know if it'll last, but it's nice.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/22/12 10:52 A
Bees: Agreed. However its also a time for constant comparisons between thin and lithe 18 year olds and my aging, overweight body. 18 year olds always win. DRAT!! ;) Interestingly I dont compare with me NOW--I am happy with my age and for the most part, my looks--I compare my fat, lonely, hidden and secretive 18 year old self--and that makes me feel soooo sad for her. :)
Fitness Minutes: (13,830) Posts: 394 3/22/12 10:42 A
I find the summer months to be much more motivating than the winter months...in the summer its easier to eat healthy foods because they are in season and with the warmer weather i never feeling like eating much....plus summer clothing is more revealing/lighter so there is more pressure to slim down to fit into those clothes and look half decent.
Pounds lost: 52.0
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/22/12 7:20 A
MORNING SY'ERS!!!!!!! Have a wonderful day. Eat mindfully, pay attention to your core--and do things that enpower you, and make you feel good about yourself. NOT things that just make you feel good--they only last a second and you feel worse after. You know this. :) TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/21/12 12:40 P
Yep--warm weather is much better if you can fit into summer clothes and dont prefer to be covered up. I am only an hour from you--and apparently April will be cold--though how they can tell that I will never know....
I did have a handful of posts here from 2010, when I was in SY...I never really got into it then. I don't know why my post count seems to have started over, if they expire or what.
Anyway, I'm pretty good. We're having some unusually warm weather here for this time of year, and I'm actually liking it. I used to hate weather that most people would call "nice"; it was too hot for me. Being thinner has made it a lot more comfortable.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/20/12 8:40 A
FROM ASHLEYY83 Hello all,
My name is Ashley, and I did the SY online program in late 2010...around the time True & Jodie were finishing up there, so they know me. *waves* I'm hoping that now, I'm finally going to pull everything together, and figured it might be a good idea to hang out here.
Technically I'm an SY dropout, not an alumnus, since I never fully completed the web-based program. (I believe I'll be a very successful dropout though ;)). I found the first part of the set-up program lesson plan helpful, then in the middle I ran into some frustrations with it. I still consider it time and money well-spent, as I picked up some useful ideas, learned what better eating habits look and feel like, and spent a lot of time on the message boards there, where I received a lot of support and insight from some endlessly patient people there. I am still grateful to the members of that time - particularly Laura, Jodie & Susan (not around here these days, but maybe she'll read this sometime). Thank you so much.
I will stop now because this is getting too awards show-y.
To all of you who are new to the program or considering it, welcome, and I wish you success.
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/20/12 8:38 A
Sadly, I do feel a tad superior when I travel--to say that I am a Canadian. Sigh. I know I know...sorry!! :) Treb--if we dont laugh at ourselves sometimes we are really screwed. :) Would like you all to give a warm welcome to Ashley83. She is a new member ( kinda) Jodie you might remember her from SY online? She posted in the INTRODUCE YOURSELF HERE FORUM. Please drop by and give her a welcome--and I will request that she continue posting here. It takes courage to post--I suspect we have a lot of readers--and not posters--and I appreciate the courage it took for Ashley to post. Welcome Ash!! Nice to see you again. I will aslo move her post over here for us to welcome her here. I cant delete any of the forums--I wish I could! I would like TWO only--this one, and the Dr. G blog one...but sadly--my powers are limited. DRAT. Jodie--I suspect you are sitting with some really uncomfortable feelings--breathe!! Treb--saw that you were a gym maniac yesterday. WOW. Good for you!!
Tiffany - I am very, very, very familiar with Catastrophic Predictions. It used to be the only way I reacted to situations. Now I do it much less often but TRUE still has to smack me in the head sometimes and remind me that I'm "CPing".
You guys, these discussions are getting sooooooo good.
Posts: 113 3/19/12 7:23 P
ANOTHER CANADIAN???? EEEEEEEEEK!
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/19/12 1:43 P
Tiffany--the great thing about SP and this particular team is that I know exactly what you are talking about. The binge will evolve--now, when I binge, ( 87 days minus 1) it was different. Shorter, dissapointing, lonely. Odd how that happens. Dr. G talks about the binge evolving...and thats where progress not perfection comes in--we might never ever be binge free, but they will for sure change their scope, duration and impact. Process.
Laura, the food choice issue goes back almost 20 years. My diet of choice used to be low fat. So I had many foods I simply could not/would not eat. I would set a goal of 15% or less fat from calories a day. In reality though, I wouldn't eat any item over 15% fat. This was very limiting and led to good food vs. bad food syndrome. I added no additional good fats--ie olive oil. I lost 60 lbs and then simply could not sustain the "deprivation" of yummy foods and ultimately quit eating low fat. I gained all the 60 plus an additional 40 pounds back. Inner child really rebels against "deprivation."
I categorize junk food as most fast food such as Big Macs, french fries, pop, (that's for you Jodie), potato chips, candy bars, most cookies--foods that have been specifically engineered to create an addiction response and which have little to no nutritional value.
I find that my idea of a binge is still evolving. I have a lot of old and new ideas I'm still struggling with. For instance, yesterday I had a pat of real butter on a yeast roll. In the past that was a no no. Now, (like you illustrated) I CAN have it within my calorie range and still have lots of other food. However, is it good for my health--think triglycerides and cholesterol? Is it a binge? I don't think so right now. Is it a good choice, though? Probably not.
I did read Dr. Gould's blog on Catastrophic Predictions. I think it is an old post on SY. CPs are one of my frequent emotional responses. I have to be careful about holding on to an issue too long in my mind though and must make sure to direct my thoughts about it. Before I learned to "put it aside," I used to obsess over negative issues, spiraling out of control. It's a careful balance for me.
current weight: 219.0
Fitness Minutes: (1,215) Posts: 481 3/19/12 9:34 A
Tiffany ( Treb) you make an interesting point about the food choice. You say that you had something that you normally wouldnt have had before, but it was tracked and measured--so it was a good choice. I suspect that the food was an 'unhealthy' one? I know exactly what you mean about the FEELING associated with that. THere are two instances when I feel like I am in binge mode, but I am NOT in binge mode--1 is when I am too full--even I am too full on water or a salad ( no dressing) if I am FULL I feel like i have binged. I HATE that feeling now--so I am very aware of the fact that I try NOT to get too full. THe other, is when, like you, i have something that is unhealthy and that is viewed as junk food. If I eat that, I feel guilty and I really have to rationalize it away. In reality though--even a big mac, fries and a pop comes in to my calorie range for the day--so I COULD have that, I would just feel technically like I BLEW something. Thats a definate mind switch that has to be worked on. IT might look like a binge, but its NOT a binge..ya know? I am VERY Impressed with you though--in how you handled the emotional trigger. Your analogy of it being like a 'red hot' is very true. The wonderful thing that you have realized is that the past behaviour--of putting the painful feeling aside--doesnt really work long haul--I mean it always comes out--whether in food behaviour, or an illness, or an ache or pain--it gets us one way or another. I am sorry you had fear and loss pain--those are the two worst pains eh? Were you doing catastrophic predictions?? Are you familiar with Dr. G's comments about them?? CP'ing is something I used to do all the time.....I handle them better now. No Sunday blues for me--Anybody else??
Welcome Beesmum and Catquel! It's been a busy day for me. I have had some issues today, but nothing catastrophic. No workout again today. Just didn't feel like it. Ate some things I previously would have tried to avoid, but exercised moderation, stayed within calorie range and nothing that was nutritional "garbage.". Oh, nope, I lied I did eat omen chocolate chip cookie.
On the up side, I was able to "work through" a painful trigger that slapped me in the face. My first thought was to put it aside as quickly as possible. Then I decided to think through it. To feel the pain. To think about all the fears and loss associated with this initial trigger. It didn't stop hurting, but the fears started to seem less reasonable and the impending loss less breathtakingly painful. It's like sucking on a red hot. The longer you hold on to it in your mouth, the more bearable it becomes (numbing effect).
So here we are at Sunday night again. Yuck. Anyone else have Sunday night blues?
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