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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/27/09 3:57 P

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Rachel, I hear ya on the "should do" exercises. I feel that way about floor exercises like crunches. I also don't like squats, in part because they hurt my knees.

Any chance the other skiers in your household might be willing to join you in a "Get In Shape For Skiing" challenge? One of the things that's helped motivate me with consistent weight training has been doing it with my DF.

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/27/09 1:17 P

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Lisa,
I could do a lot of leg lifts and other leg weight training. Squats are good too. I do step aerobics 2-3 times a week all year long. Sometimes I do weight training and squats but I really need to be in the mood. I find if I go to something that I don't really like but it is the thing I 'should' do I end up fighting myeslf too much to make it worth it. I may go back to weights and squats or maybe not... I would rather spend the time with my family emoticon

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/26/09 9:55 P

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emoticon Rachel, that's a big step! Good for you!

It's interesting to hear you thinking about your weight in terms of skiing, a winter activity. Usually the conventional thinking is getting in shape for summer activities and bikinis! Is there specific training you can do for skiing? Please pardon my ignorance but I'm not a skier.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 8/26/2009 (21:59)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
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31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/26/09 3:06 P

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I set a goal- I can be within a 3 lbs. range of my goal weight and that is comfortable and ok. Weighed this morning- within 2 lbs. emoticon Now I'm pondering losing more weight for the ski season to be more agile- 5 to 10lbs.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/26/09 2:02 P

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Rachel, that makes sense. One step at a time...
emoticon

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/24/09 2:01 P

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Thanks Lisa. I have put all my focus for the last 8 days into not binging. I've made it so far. On Wednesday I plan to face the scale again. This time with an open mind and being kinder to myself. Everything still fits comfortably and looks ok so I know I'm not really getting any larger emoticon

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/24/09 1:44 P

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Rachel, I know the scale can be a struggle. Like Susan, weigh-ins got much easier for me when I stopped listening to Harriet's chatter every time I stepped on the scale and simply started viewing it as a tool, like taking my temperature.

That's not to say I don't still have some feelings when I weigh myself. If it's gone up or not down as much as I had hoped, it's easy for me to feel frustrated and have thoughts like "I'll never lose this weight!" However I do realize that those thoughts and feelings are _MY_ reaction to the number on the scale and not actually the voice of the scale speaking and judging me. Not sure if this is making any sense, but separating the act of weighing myself from my reaction to the number has made the process much less anxiety-provoking.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 8/24/2009 (13:45)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/16/09 7:40 P

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Interesting. None of these are a challenge to me except the scale. For now I am not comfortable with weighing once a week. I end up binging if I don't like the results- I'm working on a cure...

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
SUSANHKS's Photo SUSANHKS Posts: 891
8/16/09 4:53 P

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I do think everyone has to decide whether/how often weighing in helps. I find that weighing in several times a week for many months at a time has served to desensitize me to the little ups and downs. I easily gain and lose 5 pounds of water weight from day to day. I no longer get very excited about it.

I am planning to weigh myself at least once a week though, because I have decided to do these four things that most of the people on the National Weight Control Registry do. These are people who have lost weight and kept it off for more than a year. From the NWCR site:

"There is variety in how NWCR members keep the weight off. Most report continuing to maintain a low calorie, low fat diet and doing high levels of activity.

78% eat breakfast every day.
75% weigh them self at least once a week.
62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day."

SW 8/1/08 229.




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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/16/09 2:12 P

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The averaging idea is interesting- I haven't thought of that. You are right. Total obstaining from the scale isn't quite working- I've become the procrastinator on being healthy since I don't weigh in till next month!

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
8/16/09 10:02 A

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Although I overate yesterday, I gave myself permission to do it. I've had a pretty good week and feel I'm making progress consistently getting hungry before eating and eating reasonable amounts. At least, that's the way I feel today!

Rachel, you've conquered so many things in this journey that I know you will conquer the scale, too. I really don't believe not weighing is the answer, although taking a break an be good. I've just found that weighing every day and averaging the week is the best solution. Although I can't claim to feel 100% neutral towards the number, I know if I do what I need to do, it won't stay up, and I don't fool myself into thinking that when it's down, it will automatically keep going down.. The calorie charts we use are averages of many tests; so should our weight calculations be.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/11/09 8:12 P

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Rachel, the worst part of visiting my family is the trip to get to them. It starts with a 5.5 cross-country flight, then another 3-4 hours of ground travel. Going there I lucked out; my brother was able to meet me in a small plane so I got to skip the 3-4 hours of ground travel. Going home I wasn't so lucky; we were flown to the nearest big town and took a bus to the airport before the 5 hour flight home.

Just Googled "Air travel water retention" and got a bunch of hits. So I bet you're right, at least some of the extra weight is water weight.

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
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15.5
23.25
31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/11/09 4:13 P

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Thanks Lisa- you are so right. I do need to talk to Harriet about a range. I have decided not to weigh myself again for at least month- but it will be more if I cannot accept a range.

As for your travels, did you fly? I often find flying puts artificial weight on me even if I am healthy on my travels.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/11/09 3:12 P

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Rachel - I'm there with you. Before I left for CA, I weighed myself and was dismayed to find the scale up 5 pounds. BUT, there seems to be some "rebound" from the 4-day low-calorie days that I have been doing, and my weight normally goes back up 1-2 pounds. (A week or so of eating well and exercising and it usually comes off for good.) So some of the 5 pounds might very well have been rebound from the last 4-day stint I had completed just a few days prior. Then I had a REALLY bad night before I left for CA, and it was TOM, so I didn't get that upset about the 5 pounds.

While I was in CA I thought I did very well. I didn't eat in a restaurant at all, didn't drink, watched portions, walked 3.5 miles each day, drank a lot of water. The last few days I went off course a bit with eating and drinking. This morning I weigh myself, and those 5 pounds are still there. So now I'm feeling like I really have regained that weight, and I'm frustrated and upset. It's not so much the short term - I expect vacations to make weight maintenance harder and weight loss impossible - but it's the long term that is bothering me. I really, really want to be at my goal weight by my wedding next winter, and when the scale goes up I feel like I am backtracking. So now Harriet is telling me I'll never make my goal and I'm running out of time. So I too am looking for a way to talk back to her. If I listen to her talk, I *will* never reach my goal, and I refuse to do so.

Tell Harriet that fluctuations are normal! One thing I'm already planning on is setting up a 5 pound weight range once I'm at my target. IMO it's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect to see the same exact number every day, there are so many variables that can affect the number that shows up on the scale (water retention, TOM, etc.). So long as I stay within that range I will still consider myself at goal, and if I'm at the upper end I'll make sure to reverse the trend before it gets out of hand.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 8/11/2009 (15:16)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
8/6/09 3:25 P

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I have really got to get rid of my scale. When I get home I will ask DH if he can hide it somewhere. Everything fits fine so I shouldn't be so attached to it. However even though I said I 'divorced' my scale we are still having 'one night stands' (really morning stands) and I get upset with fluctuation. It's time to recognize the good I am doing for myself and stop letting Harriet pester me about numbers.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
8/2/09 10:43 P

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I just got the David Kessler book ("The End Of Overeating") to read on the plane tomorrow. In addition to understanding the emotional connection to foods which Shrink Yourself focuses on, I'm realizing that I also need a better understanding of the physiological reactions to food.

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
SUSANHKS's Photo SUSANHKS Posts: 891
8/2/09 1:46 P

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"Think Yourself Thin" is a book and self hypnosis CD which is very good and very inexpensive. There's also another book with the same title, so make sure you get the one by Darcy Buehler, Ph.D. I'm not crazy about her voice, but the scripts are still excellent.

In addition to her teachings, based on her psychology practice and personal history of having an eating disorder, Darcy includes the written scripts in her book.

I'm going to quote a little here so you can see how compatible it is with Shrink Yourself-- I think this falls within the "fair use" doctrine, as I am reviewing and recommending her work. I starting using the CD at about the same time I started Shrink Yourself--- I suspect it was also part of my great success with the online program-- I don't think I struggled nearly as much as many do through the program.

From page 16 "Begin to visualize yourself in those situations in whic you have found yourself confronted with difficult food choices."

"See yourself at home, at work, out visiting family and friends, or out at your favorite restaurant. Notice how good you are feeling."

"Notice that your brain is urging you to eat somethig when you are already full or something that is no longer part of your new lifestyle."

"Begin to notice the interchange going on in your thinking system."

"Take note of the faulty message that is talling you to eat when you know that you are not hungry, or the message urging you to eat something that no longer fits into your lifestyle."

"Be very aware of the pleasant, full feeling in your stomach."

"Be very clear in your mind that these false messages are just that: faulty messages based on old-fashioned, worn-out habits that have negatively affected your life."

"Be clear in your mind that there is no need to respond to the message, no reason to allow yourself to cave in to these faulty memssage, no need to eat when you are not hungry."

"Your urges are nothing more than faulty messages from your brain. You are learning to recongize a false message and simply say no to urges."

"You can and you will refuse to give in to these urges and recognize them as false."

"That's right, you can refuse to accept the messages and see them as nothing more than a poor attempt by your brain to control your behavior."



SW 8/1/08 229.




 current weight: 153.0 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
8/2/09 11:42 A

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I'm sure you're right about the candy/afternoon conditioning. I've remembered that I used to eat it then, but mostly thought of it being the impetus for my eating too much at meals when I wasn't hungry; I would eat heartily at dinner because I didn't want my mom to know I had eaten candy after school. But the time of day part hadn't occurred to me before.

I'm interested in that CD you mentioned. I was using "I Can Make You Thin," and I wanted to have another choice. I got one out of the library by a husband and wife and found I couldn't take their voices and style of delivery.

The article link reinforced some of my new-ish beliefs, one of the most important, I believe, of which is that not giving in to a craving makes it build up. I actually already knew that from psychology. When you continually refuse to reinforce a behavior, the stimulus will be extinguished. (But the pattern can come back later-with a vengeance.)

A friend was telling me about The End of Overeating. Just her sharings have helped me make better choices at times.

I think we need all kinds of input on this journey. thanks for spreading the wealth. emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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SUSANHKS's Photo SUSANHKS Posts: 891
8/2/09 10:18 A

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Olala-- that is interesting about the candy. I bet you are onto something. I think we can condition behaviors, and then even after many years, we can fall back into the conditioning of old habits.

Recently I've become more aware of when I salivate (after a serendipitous experience of reading several things that got me realizing how much my eating behavior is similar to the Pavlov's dog experiments.) I've come to realize that whenever I salivate, I have an impulse to eat something.

But I've also become aware that many times when I salivate I am not truly physically hungry--- it's just that "mouth hunger", triggered by some kind of cue in my environment that activates an old habit.

Often, I eat and my husband or kids eat later, so I leave the food out for them. Rarely do they put it away. In my old lifestyle, I had the habit of picking at the food and eating bits of it when I put the leftovers away later. I've realized that if I come back to the kitchen and see the leftovers sitting out I usually salivate and want to eat. But I am also learning that it's just a conditioned response, usually its not so long after my own meal that I am truly hungry. I've been schooling myself to notice the salivation but not act on it-- recognizing it as "a misfire from my brain based on old habits" (as one of my great self hypnosis CD's "Think Yourself Thin" says.)

I wouldn't be surprised if that urge from candy is just an old condition response, based on the reward value of sugar.

The two things I was reading that really drove those concepts home for me was Kessler's book "The End of Overeating" and the article in the link below


www.prevention.com/cda/article/outsm
ar
t-your-cravings/478206ef823d6110VgnVR>CM10000013281eac____/news.voices/in.
th
e.magazine/february.2008.issue


SW 8/1/08 229.




 current weight: 153.0 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/31/09 9:01 P

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Wow, I was just sitting here, zoning out because of a stressful week at work and the promise of more. I was watching a silly movie (after eating several brownies) and during a commercial, I heard the ad voice say, "Kids are hungry when they get home from school." My first thought was, "No, they're not." I remember that I never was, but there was this cultural practice of offering snacks. Also, I used to have a friend whose mother would give her money and she would buy us both candy after school every day. It suddenly dawned on me that might be related to why I have such an urge to eat candy after I finish teaching for the day each day. I'm not sure what it all means, but it suddenly seemed very interesting...
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/31/09 9:59 A

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Please check out my latest blog: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=2273897
. What I'm blogging is one of the biggest issues in my life right now; the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt around work are almost paralyzing and Harriet is having a field day with them. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!


Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/31/2009 (10:00)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
UCFGAL's Photo UCFGAL Posts: 625
7/27/09 11:03 A

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Thanks Rachel. That makes sense.







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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/27/09 10:26 A

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Personally, I think if your schedule can allow you should listen to your body. For me, I get up at 5, get to work by 7. I am not hungry before about 6:45. However I usually hit the ground running and can't take a break for breakfast until 7:30. If I wait until then I am starving and I will eat EVERYTHING. So... Before I leave the house I have .5 oz of nuts. Then I can make it till the morning break for breakfast. I also schedule snacks throughout the day because I get hungry in little 'bits' rather than nothing for 4 hours and then lots after. Everyone is different- some like to wait hours and hours...

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
UCFGAL's Photo UCFGAL Posts: 625
7/27/09 9:59 A

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I'm fairly new to SY. I'm reading the book and have made it to Session 1 (week of observing). I'm not going further with the book until I complete the week of observing. Anyhow, my question to all of you out there is how do you reconcile not eating if you are not hungry with regular meal times. I mean, if you are working and lunch hour is from 12-1 and you are not hungry, do you just skip a meal and wait for dinner? Do you try to grab a snack in between when you are hungry? Also, often I am not hungry in the morning, but almost all weight loss sites tell you to eat breadfast for a healthy weight loss. Any thoughts on this?








 current weight: 157.4 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/26/09 2:24 P

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I posted this morning on the 21-day streak in this forum, and I posted a blog. If you have the time, please take a look.
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public
_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2260742

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/22/09 1:32 P

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Rachel and OohLala, thank you for your words of support. I agree that "dealing with emotions" is often thought of as making them go away, when in fact it might more closely resemble not resisting uncomfortable emotions and learning to just let them be. And you're spot on that the thoughts about the emotions can be worse than the emotions themselves! Especially since I do dwell on what I'm doing "wrong" instead of focusing on what I'm doing well.

With that in mind, I actually got to apply it last night. DF and I had a bit of a fight last night, and after he went to bed I started thinking about getting something to eat. Then I realized that I was upset about the fight, and what I really wanted was some reassurance that things were OK with DF and I. So instead of eating, I got into bed and cuddled with DF. Sounds childish I know, but it worked.

OohLala, maybe the fact that you're having less urges to eat when *not* hungry is progress itself?

Rachel, I often find that after a high calorie day I'm not as hungry then next day, nor do I push myself to eat. I think it's OK, so long as you're not consciously trying to compensate for the extra calories from the day before and/or doing it on a regular basis; I would think that would just promote a binge/purge type of cycle.



Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/22/2009 (13:42)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
0
7.75
15.5
23.25
31
RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/21/09 2:14 P

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Focusing on not being perfect has helped alot. Also listening to my hunger more carefully. I had a party on Saturday and way over indulged- there were homemade chocolate chip cookies- hundreds of them! Sunday I just wasn't hungry (gee, I wonder why?) so I worked with that and ate less than a 'normal' day. The old ways would have had me stuffing in food to meet some daily commitment.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/21/09 12:14 P

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Hey, how's everyone doing? I've been lucky that I haven't had a lot of urges to eat when I'm not hungry lately, so I can't say I've been defeating the monster, but I'll take grace when it has come my way. Courage to all who need it!
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/20/09 4:53 P

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When I heard people talk about "dealing with" emotions, I always thought they meant there were things you could do that would predictably make them go away, and making them go away was "dealing with" them. I've finally had to accept that just sitting and facing them, letting them be there, is another way of dealing with them that Gould alludes to a lot.
emoticon
But something I do is notice the difference between the thought in my mind and the feeling in my body. Letting the same thought produce negative sensations over and over is not dealing with the emotion. When I just pay attention to the sensations in my body that add up to the feeling of frustration /sadness/resentment/etc., I realize they are not so bad. (Even in your situation, it sounds like the thought of wasting the day was making you feel worse than your illness did.) Unless I can take specific action to remedy the situation that my thoughts come from, such as doing something to prepare lessons when I think "I'm a terrible teacher!", I refuse to give it credence or attention. Thoughts are not emotions! I force myself to drop that thought and feel my body. Sometimes I have to do that over and over for a period of time and then again an hour later. The more I do it, the faster the process goes and I realize I can choose to keep that up or do something else-wash my face, put on music, do relaxation exercises in bed, clean out a drawer, post on Sparkpeople, look at youtube videos of women with great legs, or anything I have on my list of alternative activities (one of the exercises Gould recommends) to eating. I can even eat, if I choose, but I can say to myself that eating is not going to solve the problem. I still might eat, and I refuse to beat myself up for having that be the best job I can do at that moment. It's not a crime! However, the more experiences I have of choosing something besides eating, the easier it gets. Some people say if you keep denying yourself, you build up a tremendous desire and then it spills over, but Judith Beck says it's not true. You can strengthen your "resistance muscle" or you can strenghten your "give in" muscle. Besides, you either deny yourself the experience of the food or you deny yourself the experience of not eating it.

You are going to get better at this! You are up to the last rungs on the ladder in this climb to freedome from food's pull!

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/20/09 1:46 P

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Lisa,
Perhaps something where you 'focus on what you did right' rather than all the 'wrongs' will help to keep you from binging. It is always so easy to fall back on the habits we are used to, especially when stress hits. We know what we need to do right and it's so easy to see that when things are calm. But when we are challenged then it takes a lot of skill to go for the 'right' answer. So if you can make a habit of focusing on the 'rights' during the good times it might be easier to drum them up during the not so good times. (boy I think I will take my own advice here!)

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/20/09 1:12 P

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Hi Rachel,

You're spot-on about needing to be perfect and always be 'doing' something, regardless of the weather! But nice weather makes it worse, since here in New England our summer season is so short. The entire region goes into frantic overdrive for the summer because we know we're going to be (mostly) stuck inside the rest of the year. So if I don't spend the entire day outside when it's nice I feel like I've wasted a precious day.

That said, I was outside a lot yesterday. I did read and make some phone calls outside, enjoying the use of our brand-new all-weather wicker furniture which was our one indulgence this summer. The stupid thing is that while I'm beating myself up for not being more active yesterday, on more active/non-fibro days I beat myself up for not spending more time just chilling, like sitting outside and reading!! I can't win!!

The other thing I realized about these episodes is that my emotional reserves are weakened (I'm noticing today how much more emotional I am that usual), and I am more vulnerable to eating for comfort than dealing with the uncomfortable emotions. However maybe now that I'm more aware of this, I can try to do something different next time. I did talk to my DF this morning about what I went through last night, and he was very kind and understanding.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/20/2009 (13:14)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/20/09 12:34 P

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Lisa,
First of all, kudso to ou for recognizing something is bothering you and you don't want to keep eating about. It sounds as if Harriet might be telling you that you need to be perfect and always be 'doing ' something on a gorgeous summer day. Our bodies and minds don't necessarily work in concert with the weather so we can't do much by beating ourselves up for not meeting the beautiful day with the 'perfect' activity. I'm not where you are so I apologize if my suggestions sound too simple, but I would think that accepting that it is going to be a slow day and that is an ok thing may keep you from eating. If you can make one goal for the day that you know you can accomplish (just reading 10 pages in a book or having a 10 minute conversation with DD or something doable) may make you feel that you day was not a total waste. With that under your belt you may be less inclined to eat a lot, then you will have no reason to beat yourself up for eating.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/20/09 11:28 A

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I am in need of some support today. I had a binge last night, and I know what's behind it, but I don't know how to deal with it. I have mild CFS/fibromyalgia which mostly manifests itself as needing more sleep at night. At times I have periods when I feel lousy, like all the energy has been drained out of me, and I can also have other symptoms like headaches, body aches, and digestive issues. Yesterday I woke up in one of those periods, and I know it fueled the binge last night. I also know to deal with the binge I need to deal with the underlying emotions, but I don't know how to deal with the emotions I have about this. I hate it when I feel so sapped of energy, I hate that yesterday I just sat around instead of *doing* something with my DD on a gorgeous summer day, I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do about this. Yes, I have tried talking to doctors, and mostly gotten a "live with it" response.


Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/19/09 2:07 P

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Sunday a.m., 11:06 and I am still not hungry. What is different today is that I didn't really think about it until around 10, and even then it wasn't a big deal. It has become easier to wait for hunger. That is a blessing.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/18/09 4:49 P

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awesome job on the cake flush- though I'm sad I would have eaten it! The recipe is quite yummy, save it for another celebration.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/18/09 10:41 A

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Rachel, too bad I didn't get that recipe before I got the cake, it sounds delicious! My planning worked well; there isn't much left (sorry to those who were hoping for some leftovers, lol!).

I had the strangest experience with the cake last night. I did have a piece with the girls, and could have had more. But I thought about it and decided that while one piece had tasted good, it wasn't so outrageously delicious that I was dying for more. I actually flushed some leftovers down the disposal instead of eating them! I heard my mother's appalled voice in my head that I was wasting food as well as Harriet's who was amazed that I was giving up an opportunity to go hog-wild with chocolate. I ignored them both and feel rather triumphant about how I handled everything.



Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/18/2009 (10:43)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/17/09 6:48 P

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Rachel, you can bet I will be looking for an excuse to make that cake.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/17/09 5:03 P

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Good point! I once asked my kids to keep an inventory of their Halloween candy so I won't get into 'their food' since they would figure it out.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/17/09 4:27 P

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Does it help to think of the leftovers as belonging to your DD? I don't have children so I don't know how those boundaries work. I didn't eat roommates' stuff back when I had roommates, though. But with families it may be "My fridge; my food." I think you can get through this, even if it's just by imagining writing to tell us you didn't eat the leftovers!
emoticon

Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 7/17/2009 (18:47)
*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/17/09 2:03 P

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Please- send the extra cake my way!
Actually I have a really great recipe for a chocolate ganache cake that I got off the chocolate lover's board. It is less than 200 cals per slice- so you could have 2!


Chocolate Ganache Cake

SERVINGS: 12
TIME: Prep: 20 min. Bake: 20 min. + cooling

Ingredients:
2 ounces 53% cacao dark baking chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup boiling water
3/4 cup Domino® or C&H® Granulated Pure Cane Sugar
1/4 cup buttermilk
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

GANACHE:
1/4 cup half-and-half cream
3 ounces 53% cacao dark baking chocolate, coarsely chopped

Directions:
Place chocolate and butter in a large bowl; add boiling water and stir until smooth. Stir in the sugar, buttermilk, egg and extracts. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; beat into chocolate mixture just until blended.

Transfer to a 9-in. round baking pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 18-22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely. Place rack on a waxed paper-lined baking sheet.

In a small heavy saucepan, combine the ganache ingredients. Cook and stir over low heat until smooth. Transfer to a small bowl; cool for 10 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Slowly pour ganache over cake, allowing some ganache to drape over the sides. Refrigerate until serving. Cut into wedges. Yield: 12 servings.

Nutrition Facts
One serving: 1 slice Calories: 179 Fat: 7 g Saturated Fat: 4 g Cholesterol: 26 mg Sodium: 236 mg Carbohydrate: 28 g Fiber: 1 g Protein: 3 g Diabetic Exchange: 2 starch, 1 fat.

www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Chocolat
e-
Gana


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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/17/09 12:35 P

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Doesn't it feel great when you start craving the healthy stuff? This summer I'm having watermelon cravings.
emoticon
I've got a real test coming up. My DD is turning 11 today and having a few friends over for a sleepover party tonight. She adores chocolate (like mother like daughter!) so after wrestling with what to do about a cake I bought a smallish chocolate ganache cake. I decided on buying one over making one because I could actually get a smaller one and therefore have less leftover. The trouble is, I know there will still likely be leftovers.

I contemplated sending the leftover cake to DD's dad, but DD will likely object as she would probably like to enjoy the leftovers herself. And why shouldn't she, she's only 11, so long as she eats an appropriate portion. But then the cake is siting around in my house. Can I trust myself to not answer it's siren call?

Surprisingly, I am finding myself saying to myself, yes, I can. I can deal with it. I visualized binging on the leftover cake, and felt sad and - weird. Like, I don't really want to do this. So now I am visualizing having the cake here, and not caring.



Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/17/09 12:47 A

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Tonight, I found myself actually craving an apple after dinner. I chose a Gala. I couldn't believe how good it tasted and how perfect the texture was. Later, I had a fleeting image of chomping on chocolates, fast and furious. I even thought I could go out and get some. But it just seemed silly and way too much trouble. That's new. Usually, I'd talk myself out of it by saying I would be sorry, etc., but this was more like, "Naaa." I feel so satisfied now that it seems like it wouldn't fun at all to eat. This must be what it is like for thin people. They like food but they just don't want it all the time. Ha! Unfortunately, there is no guarantee this will last, but I'll enjoy it now, just like you can really only experience the food you are having when you are actually eating it.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/16/09 12:22 P

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Lisa-
I like that 'progress not perfection'. I need to keep repeating that. Going from 2000 EVERY night to 600 occasionally is awesome. Congrats to you for progress emoticon

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/16/09 12:19 P

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Kit, that's great. With what little reading I've done in the book, and reading the daily tips from the online site, I too have seen improvements. I particularly like the saying "Progress, not perfection". It helps me to keep things in perspective when I slip up. These days if and when a binge happens it's more in the 600 calorie range; last fall I believe I was easily consuming 2000 PER NIGHT.
emoticon
I'm planning to start the online program in September, when I'm done with school and back from traveling during August.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/16/2009 (12:19)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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BETRME100's Photo BETRME100 SparkPoints: (86,423)
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7/16/09 7:46 A

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Reading a little in the book every day and doing the exercises...really putting a lot of thought into them...and have already seen positive results in dealing with situations that would have led me straight to food in the past!

Kit

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

Co-leader Bloomington,IN Spark team



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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/14/09 12:12 P

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Thanks for the correction. emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/14/09 11:47 A

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Oddly enough, the link takes you to my most current blog, not the one I wanted folks to read. The blog I was looking for comments on is called, 'Trust...'

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/14/09 1:26 A

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One person's ceiling is another person's floor.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/13/09 3:15 P

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Speaking of my day to day issues- please check out my blog. I am curious what thoughts this team has to say... www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal.asp?id=RACHELRB&abepu=true


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/13/09 11:57 A

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Not bad practices when we are employed, too.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/13/09 11:36 A

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Guess this is the upside to being out of work and watching finances: I don't go out to eat very much. When I do, I often split an entree with my DF because the portion sizes are so huge.

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/13/09 11:00 A

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Ask for the container when you order the food- then you can put it in there as soon as it starts to bother you. You can even leave the container on the table when you go.

Remember where you used to be when eating out? I would assume that you ate A LOT more than just those bits. Kudos to you that you are making progress and recognizing new changes you can make.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/13/09 10:14 A

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Restaurants can be hard, especially when there is only a little food left. Often, I can eat only half, so I quickly ask for a container. A friend of mine puts a lot of salt on her leftover food so that she won't eat it.
emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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SUSANHKS's Photo SUSANHKS Posts: 891
7/12/09 5:34 P

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Today we went out to eat. I felt good ordering salmon, grean beans, and steamed vegetables. The hard part was watching and waiting before my food came and after it left.

My son ordered onion rings. I started out just watching them eat them, then decided to have one. I still felt okay. Then everyone decided they'd had enough and there were two left on the plate. Somehow I just didn't feel like letting them sit there--- I ate the two to make them go away.

Got through my meal great. Then we waited forever for the waitress to bring the check. My husband even went to the car. In complete boredom waiting for the check, I took a bite of my son's left over mashed potatoes, and then another, and then another. All the while being aware that I really wasn't hungry-- I was bored and irritated.

Caloriewise, those little bits probably aren't worth worrying about---- but I am aware that I still haven't totally mastered leaving food on my plate at a restaurant.

Susan

SW 8/1/08 229.




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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/8/09 11:02 P

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"I did the best I could as a child"

Kit, those are powerful words that have really struck a chord with me. Thank you for writing them.

Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/8/09 4:41 P

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Oolala- what a lesson! It sounds like boredom or the same old thing brings in some false hunger for you. Perhaps you are learning more than you expected in training emoticon

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/8/09 3:53 P

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Not sure what is going on,but I have had very little desire to overeat the last few days. I am away at a training, so in part it may have to do with just having novel, interesting things do. I'm not complaining. I'll take the gift when it comes.


*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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7/8/09 1:24 P

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What a coincidence (or maybe not)...today I just had the thought that I feel so much better about myself because I've finally arrived at a place where I can accept and love who I am today and the little girl I was so many years ago...it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders...spent most of my childhood feeling like I wasn't good enough...good enough to be loved, good enough to be accepted for who I was, good enough to be happy...now I accept myself and know that I did the best I could as a child and am doing the best I can today. What a wonderful feeling to be accapted and loved...by myself!

Kit

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

Co-leader Bloomington,IN Spark team



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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/6/09 12:43 P

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I think finding balance is one of the key things to work on with this program. I read an article on the SY site about finding "a balance between taking actions that will help you get to your goal and accepting yourself exactly where you are today" ( www.shrinkyourself.com/blog_item.asp
?i
=-110
) that really resonated with me. So often in the past my weight-loss efforts were based on *not* accepting where I was at that moment. They were driven by Harriet, who would harass me about being overweight, then when I lost weight would still find fault with my body. It's no surprise that I would inevitably end up gaining the weight back. One of the things I'm working on is accepting the body that I have, as it is. Even when I reach my goal weight, I will not have a "perfect" figure. More and more I'm realizing that for years I was trying to fit my body into a type that it just isn't meant to be.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/6/2009 (12:44)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


 Pounds lost: 16.8 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/6/09 12:20 A

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Awesome insight and such a good plan! It isn't as if the tasks go away. Finding the balance that works for you is the key. I think you're blessed to have figured it out at any age!

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
7/5/09 6:18 P

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I've been rereading SY. LadyIris reminded me that chapter 4 was really pertinent to something happening in my life. After reading chapter 4 (and she was right!) I moved on again to chapter 5. I think the first time I read the book I was in such a rush to find a 'solution' some of the book didn't sink in. Last night reading chapter 5 it was SO OBVIOUS! I struggle with perfection- I know this. I am always getting down on myself (or Harriet is) for not doing things perfectly. One thing I do to make my life easier is make lists for my day of everythign I want to get done. As the task gets done I check it off the list. If it's obvious I won't get to it that's ok, I put it on the next day so I don't forget. I almost always make these lists during the workweek but on the weekends I don't bother. Harriet tells me, 'too much structure and you won't enjoy yourself. Your family won't enjoy you'. So by Sunday at 4 I am either napping or stuffing myself rather than doing the tasks I had committed to in my head. I realized that this morning and laid out a plan so that it wouldn't look like I had an insurmountable list. That made life so much easier. Ha! It took 46 years to figure that out!

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/5/09 11:03 A

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Kit, good for you! Please share some of your journaling here with us.

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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I've got my meals and snacks all planned for today...going to prepare a SP recipe for veggie burritos. I do so much better when I plan ahead.

Reading Shrink Yourself for the first time...journaling about what I read and how it applies to me and my life.

Kit

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

Co-leader Bloomington,IN Spark team



 current weight: 266.0 
 
287
252.75
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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 57,834
7/4/09 1:46 A

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I read my copy of "SHRINK YOURSELF" over and over. I have it written in and marked with a yellow marker like a textbook. emoticon

This is something I think we just need over and over.

 current weight: 172.4 
 
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LADYIRIS313's Photo LADYIRIS313 Posts: 926
7/3/09 5:29 P

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LKG - the perspective that 'time' can provide so we can re-frame our experiences in a more positive light is very helpful.

Really, it is at the core of this program, in my opinion. We are reframing our relationships with both people and food so that we can better understand and make better decisions.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us
are looking at the stars"

Oscar Wilde


 Pounds lost: 8.0 
 
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LKG9999's Photo LKG9999 Posts: 1,476
7/3/09 5:06 P

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My brother was a talented musician from an early age, in addition to being the thin one while I was chubby. I was very jealous of him growing up, but it wasn't until we became friends in adulthood that I found out that he was always jealous of how much smarter I was than him (or at least how much smarter he thought I was, he's no slouch there either). Something I think I am very blessed with is that I am able to talk with my brother and parents about some of those feelings from long ago. When I think about things my family said or did that hurt me, I also realize that it was a different time and they weren't as tuned-in then as they are now. I think that helps to lessen some of the charge of those old feelings.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 7/3/2009 (17:07)
Lisa
Highest weight: 230
Current weight: 169.2
Target Weight: 155

"Be more stubborn than the scale." - Vivian Bedoya (BEMORESTUBBORN)

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


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LADYIRIS313's Photo LADYIRIS313 Posts: 926
7/3/09 3:36 P

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oooh Sibling Rivalry - now there's a sore point for probably most people emoticon

Isn't it interesting how we get 'pegged' when we are kids. My brother was the 'tall, skinny, athletic, but somewhat lazy' one, and I was the 'fat, smart, chatty' one. When we're NOT around family, we still struggle to get outside those categories, but when we are WITH family, it is SO easy to slip right back in. With these differences, competition is natural -- as can be bad feelings (at least in my experience).

Here's something to consider that helped me -- our siblings are generally going to be different than we are. If there are 2 children (our family), they may seem like polar opposites. There are certain roles & functions in a family and when there are 2 children, often each assumes or is assigned opposite characteristics and opportunities. When there are more children, these attributes get spread around. BUT ... this can be a good thing because we have very close to us the individual who can help us grow a great deal. Competition is not bad, as long as it is seen in a positive light. They are a measuring stick - of what we strive to be, or strive to avoid.

The universe' sense of humour that the burr under our saddles (so to speak) is what can teach us the most!
(sometimes that helps me NOT want to scratch my brother's eyes out)

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us
are looking at the stars"

Oscar Wilde


 Pounds lost: 8.0 
 
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SUSANHKS's Photo SUSANHKS Posts: 891
7/3/09 3:07 P

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Wen, I had to laugh about your sister as Harriet.

I think vestiges of sibling rivalry die hard. I love my sister and we have always gotten along pretty well, but I do remember being motivated to get good grades primarily because she was a straight A student and I didn't want her to "be better" than me.

My sister has, throughout most of her life, been slimmer than me. When I saw her at Christmas, she had put on a few pounds with middle age, especially around the middle. We all played WiiFit and I saw her enter her weight. I am now under the weight she was last Christmas (when I was heavier) and I keep wondering that perhaps I am now thinner than she is. It is so silly--- to want to be thinner than one's sister--- but I'm afraid that is one of the qualities I don't like but need to accept--- that sibling rivalry is such a powerful force that it still rears it's ugly head a bit. When I think rationally, I really do want her to be healthy--- I'm just tired of thinking of myself as the "fatter one."

Susan

SW 8/1/08 229.




 current weight: 153.0 
 
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/3/09 12:39 P

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Too bad your sister couldn't be supportive, and good for you to stick up for yourself! We need to take credit for every victory and keeping off that weight from two years ago is a real victory, since only about 10% of weight losers keep the weight off. Congrats on the new loss and thank you for my lovely goodie!

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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WEN@TBAY's Photo WEN@TBAY Posts: 752
7/3/09 12:33 P

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Great Idea! Love it!

Well, I've got to say I've really had Harriet on the run the past few months! She barely says a peep to me lately! Unfortunately, my real live sister has decided to fill in for her!

I managed to stick up for myself and really put her in her place a couple of weeks ago, though and I'm still beaming with pride over it!!

I was sharing my weight loss and she got real snappy about the way I kept a tally of both my recent wt loss (21 lbs since Easter) and my total, long term wt loss from 2 years ago (42lbs total since my highest). She snorted and was all like..."You need to give it a rest with the ancient history..." and I was like, "NO WAY! I worked hard to lose that weight and I am gonna give myself credit for every ounce and celebrate it on a daily basis!! ( And I don't care who likes it and who doesn't!) I also encouraged her to do the same. Felt REALLY good, even though she hurt my feelings and I was feeling a bit pissy the next morning. I just decided to avoid sharing any good news with her, since she finds it so hard to be supportive of me right now. I know she's frustrated with her health issues and weight loss stall, but that's okay. I don't need her to be a cheerleader for me. I am doing a great job on my own and have a lot of support here and at home. My daughter and mom are my biggest support besides SP.

Just had to share that to encourage you all. We need to become our own best friends right now, no matter what we weigh and where we are in this process. I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life.

: ) Wen


Life is a gift! Tear into it!!!

Total Wt Lost: 36.2 lbs




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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/3/09 12:29 P

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Oop! I meant to start. Today I'm thinking should go well. I committed yesterday to waiting until I was truly hungry to eat and that was not until 3:30 p.m. I had a nice meal and then went overboard on ice cream and brownies. However, I did not feel guilty about it. I know it didn't need that food, and I knew eating it came from a vestige of that thought that I deserved to reward myself for being so "good." I feel confident that today I will not repeat that experience. It feels like it was the just the little kid in me saying, "No!" one more time before she does what mommy says. I have a friend coming over today to help me with some organization issues and I have some specific work to do on a project that has been hanging over my head but that I had not been getting good direction on. I'm looking forward to a productive day working, playing...and eating.

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
0
462
925
1387
1850
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,513
7/3/09 12:14 P

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A new member suggested we have a thread for this. I'm all for it, if it helps.

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,818 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
0
462
925
1387
1850
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