Posts: 1,485
3/30/09 9:26 A

Oolala and others- there is a really good blog on dailyspark.com that talks about what it takes to be a competitive body. It's an interview with a contestant. Makes you realize it may not be worth all the effort.

Posts: 6,835
3/30/09 1:28 A

I got a little mixed up because you had said you were in Ch. 11, but the page number was 157. In any case, it is true that having the goal of looking a certain way can get in the way of achieving peace with food. In our culture, and, at times, even here at Sparkpeople, God bless 'um, there is so much attention and admiration given to really slim, even muscular bodies. We have to be careful whom we admire because the life that person leads to get to that look may not be something we want at all. I think Gould is just saying that the right look cannot be the main reward. The paragraph you mentioned comes in the chapter with the 10 Healthy Habits. Aiming at practicing those habits and then dealing with the emotional issues that prevent us from implementing them is the real work of this program. What constitutes eating healthfully and exercising enough for health is going to be somewhat individual and will most likely evolve, rather than be imposed. This just means that the first order of business is to deal with NOT BINGEING OR OVEREATING, in this case, overeating means eating when not hungry as well stuffing yourself. The likelihood is you will lose weight, you will look "better," and you will be more pleased with your body. But you have to wait until then to decide if you want a specific look, such as the look a bodybuilder has. With all due respect to them, some of them seem just as hung up on food as heavy people. It seems they depend on having a sleek body to feel good about themselves. I personally want something different than that. However, I will also admit that I do stress less about my body than I did 30 extra pounds ago, and that feels nice. But, I'd still rather have food become a non-issue than have to walk a tightrope to live at 19% body fat--or less!

Hope this didn't sound too preachy or critical of others' goals. Each of has to go where the journey takes us. You are on your path, and I think you'll be glad you found SY.

current weight: 146.5

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Posts: 187
3/29/09 5:43 A

rachelrb,

That is SO true. I can think back to many times when I was over weight but STILL happy. Its like sometimes I focus more on because skinny then being happy because for some reason i think being skinny will make me happy. BUT it wont. I have to make myself happy first.

current weight: 182.6

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Posts: 1,485
3/28/09 10:09 P

I would say looking for the ideal is definitely a problem. Also, we so often attach other benefits of life to losing weight- my husband will love me when I lose weight, I'll get the right job when I lose weight, I'll be outgoing and have many friends when I lose weight, etc. I think there is some truth to it, not because of the actual being thinner but more because with being thinner we feel better about ourselves (get in the swimsuit as you mentioned). I've been looking at some heavier pictures of myself. I have a digital frame at work and I wanted to add some pictures to the frame. Initially I was keeping out all the 'fat' photos. Then I thought about it and realized I was having a good time on those vacations, I was enjoying time with my family ad beautiful scenery. The woman in the picture is still me, a wonderful mom, good wife, fun lady to be with. It didn't matter how much I weighed. So I guess what I'm saying is as happy as I am at a lower weight I appreciate the journeys and experiences I've had at all weights- the weight does not define who I was or who I am.

Posts: 187
3/28/09 11:57 A

pg 157 last paragraph

i agree susanhnks i was close to my goal weight before and looking back a pictures of me i think i looked amamzing but my boyfriend reminded me of how unhappy i was that day that picture was taken. Even though i was 170 which is a lot closer to my goal weight then I am now i was SO unhappy. I still felt fat, ugly, and not good enough for myself. I understand more now of what he is trying to say.

Thanks!

current weight: 182.6

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Posts: 891
3/28/09 10:47 A

Can't say I specifically recall the part of the book. However, I do think most women will find something they don't like about their looks no matter what they weigh. So the idea that you will really be comfortable and pleased with yourself, just by losing weight, is often an irrational expectation. I have been at my ideal weight before. To some extent I was happier due to having more energy and the lack of some of the health problems I deal with now---- but it never did make me ooze with confidence about myself-- which I think is the fantasy alot of women have about how everything would be fine if they were thin.

current weight: 153.0

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Posts: 6,835
3/28/09 9:30 A

I just skimmed through chapter 11 to try to see the context for what you are talking about, but couldn't find it. Can you give me a page #?

current weight: 146.5

185 175.375 165.75 156.125

146.5

Posts: 187
3/28/09 7:18 A

So im on chapter 11 session 2 now and i really dont understand why he says that losing weight only brings you to a healthier life. I mean understand why he says we shouldnt expect all these great things to come when we lose weight because losing weight only really makes you healthier but i mean lets say i want to lose weight to look better in a swim suit. When i lose weight I WILL physically look better in a swim suit but maybe he is saying that doesnt mean I will mentally actually think I will look better? I dont know i was just kinda confused about this part. I mean having a healthier life is something i really do want and look forward to but isnt motivational to have something physical to look forward to?

current weight: 182.6

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160