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NEWCREATION2010's Photo NEWCREATION2010 Posts: 118
1/18/09 6:34 P

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Thanks for your thoughts! They've been very helpful.
It shows me that when I am feeling unheard I am automatically playing the victim, and when I'm in victim mode, I eat. I can now see that as a choice I'm making rather than a fact.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
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17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
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CEEBEE200's Photo CEEBEE200 Posts: 204
1/18/09 4:32 P

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I struggle with this, most definitely. I haven't yet got as far as the impressive analysis that a couple of you guys are managing -- at the moment I'm just trying to catch that feeling and go "oh, this is one of those moments where I feel like I'm not being heard". A tiny step, I know, but it's the key first step and then I hope to be able to think through solutions from there, rather than eat - at some point, anyway!

Time is not infinite, time is now.


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LORI*48's Photo LORI*48 SparkPoints: (3,845)
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1/11/09 10:03 P

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hmmm....this thread made me think. I think I struggle with this. I often feel like I am not heard. Maybe this is why I often struggle. You are making think.

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RACHELRB's Photo RACHELRB Posts: 1,485
1/11/09 9:41 P

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OH yes I can realte to this one! And when I feel I'm not heard rather than 'being a brat' and speaking up, I just stuff the words down with food. What I find works best for me is to write things down with a goal in mind. Here are the steps I go through-
What am I thinking
What would I like to feel
What outcome would make sense
What would a neutral outcome be
What can I do to increase the chances of the outcome
Take what action I can

Too often issues come up that I cannot control the others around me though I believe I can. I try to focus on what I can do and what I can control.

If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,526
1/11/09 9:08 P

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I can't say I am always able to stay away from food in these circumstances, but when I can, it's usually for one of several reasons:
* I realize that food isn't going to make me get heard
* I'm in a position to practice a diverting behavior
* I remember other times I was glad I didn't eat
* I remember that I don't want to be still grappling with this five years or even a year from now; I've done it too long!
* I know that the more times I don't give in, the stronger my habit of resisting will become.

Happy eating and feeling!

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
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LADY_DONKEY's Photo LADY_DONKEY SparkPoints: (63,429)
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1/11/09 1:03 P

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I recently realized through a series of events that my whole bingeing issue revolves around years of not feeling validated or "heard".

And I think, like you, I struggle with immediate behaviors (as opposed to, say, ongoing self-esteem issues) whenever I feel unacknowledged.

LOL at the "brat" -- I don't think that's the problem, but that was a cute way to put it.

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NEWCREATION2010's Photo NEWCREATION2010 Posts: 118
1/11/09 11:20 A

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I have been noticing that when I am feeling unheard, it really ramps up my desire to binge. I am a woman who is articulate, so I feel that I am saying what I need to get across, that doesn't seem to be the problem. Maybe I am just a brat who wants to think of herself as being unheard when the world doesn't acknowledge every time I breathe, LOL.
Do any of you here struggle with this, too? I'm curious to know how you stay away from the food in these moments.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Cor. 5:17


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