I find that it's most helpful to me to be allowed room for mistakes. I appreciate it when I have a bad day and don't want to go on a walk for my husband not to press the issue. Or if I choose to have an extra helping, or cheat and have a candy bar, that he doesn't say anything to make me feel guilty about it.
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you." — Rita Mae Brown
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library." — Jorge Luis Borges
My husband doesn't keep the weight on as much as I do and he doesn't gain it as fast as me either. He is starting to realize though that if we both want to see our children grow old we need to make these changes for our future.
A Pastry Chef, how awesome! I think if I had a dream job it would be that.
I think the hardest part is that he is a Pastry Chef, and I had to tell him to stop bringing me goodies. He HAS to eat them at his job, but he doesn't keep the weight on so much. For me, however, it goes straight to my hips.
My husband and I have lost weight together, more or less (story is on my sparkpage), and this is what I've learned in almost two years of this game:
Watch out for enabling behavior, if I'm tired at the end of the day, sometimes my husband will suggest we go out to eat, and if we allow that to happen, we are both in trouble, so you have to consider that.
Making healthy meals together is great, but sometimes you need some room to negotiate as well. I will often end up making two slightly different meals, because even though we are both trying to eat healthy, we have different needs, likes, and dislikes. I need higher protein, so I'll give myself less carbs sometimes, or make potatoes for him and veggies for me, but with the same meat.
No junk in the house is a key! Even when we do decide to cheat for a day and have something fun, it is gone the next day, either in the trash or I take it to church/work/etc. We both agree on this.
Make exercise a lifestyle habit, me and my husband often walk down to the mall and Best Buy on weekends, and we know that unless it's raining, that's how we are going to get there. We also take walks together in the evenings a lot. It's great time together, and exercise! BTW - bedroom activities are not exercise, don't accept that excuse!
I think, Ankaria, that you have the right idea so far. Even if he is at a good weight, living your lifestyle along with you can only be good for him, so do it together!
No day but today ... -Jonathan Larson - Rent
"You have to laught at yourself, because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't" Emily Saliers - Indigo Girls
My husband isn't ready to make a commitment to fitness, but he does most of the cooking and shopping. He IS willing to prepare healthy meals, enjoys trying new recipes and foods, and finds that he's learning a lot about nutrition and healthy eating because of my lifestyle change.
Energy and persistence conquer all things. Benjamin Franklin
I think that sounds perfect! My husband and I are in the same boat. He loves the fast food route because it is so easy and we don't have to cook anything. I think that the support that you have asked for is a great start! Hopefully we can work together to help my husband and your boyfriend out with their food choices too!
My boyfriend whom I live with is a really supportive, loving person. He's asked me what support I need from him to change my lifestyle, and I wasn't really sure what to say. Basically I just told him to listen to me, to try to make healthy meals when it's his turn to cook, and to not bring home junk food.
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