Hi Angel, I can relate with the loneliness. Being a victim of society or someone else can cause pain that no one else can understand. You've really made some significant progress by your exceptional talent to express your feelings and share them. In my case I was married 20 yrs. After barely surviving a near fatal car accident my wife found a way to have me ejected from my home and neve r see my 2 boys again. I was blindsided by her plan and found myself alone with very little money and I had to defend myself in family court against ridiculous accusations that I tried to hurt my family. So alone and deprived of my home and family I lived alone in a small camper trailer I had bought a few months earlier. I almost "lost it" more than a few times. There were a v few very important things that kept me going. Different things work for different people but maybe, hopefully you can try this and it might help.
First....When I have those extreme setbacks I think of those people who's situation is worse than mine.....and believe me....there's ALWAYS someone worse off than you are. Second....I dug deep to regain my faith in God...I know by reading some of your posts etc. that you have some religious faith....so always pray...contrary to what Jim Morrisson said...you CAN petition the Lord with prayer. And in one way or another, your prayers WILL be answered. Third....find one person who understands your situation and can sympathize with you and at least give u a different perspective...but more importantly someone who can prop you up when you start to fall. In my case my Dr. was my savior. She prayed with me and even went oit and bought me a bible...what a great person. She made me feel like my life mattered. The inscription she wrote inside the cover was: " to Job...from Dr. C "
Look.....you do matter...alone or not....find your faith and that one person To lean on...and if u have trouble....welll then we (me and all your sparkfriends) are only a few clicks of the keyboard away. And remember. ..those folks who are so much worse off than you and me keep our own problems in perspective. If you just keep moving forward and don't look back you will one day reach your goals to be happy and healthy.Keep us all Posted.
Peace and good health, Scott.
"When you come to a fork in the road-take it!" - Yogi Berra
"The best revenge is living well" - Jerry Seinfeld
Feel so empty and alone right now..the best of what I had is now over and now its just try to scrape together and muster enough will to try to find all the broken pieces of my once whole life and hope and pray that I can maybe be at least half of the person I once was..there is no more compassion for others within me any more..the person that was once compassionate,helpful,kind,and willing to help others out is gone..now I need to find a reason to help myself..I can't think of one reason to become that person again..I always wind up being walked all over,taken for granted,assumed to be naive,and looked at only as a dispensary of stuff..just once I want someone or something to want me in their lives rather than feeling like I fight for everything and everyone I want in my life without any one or anything fighting to be in my life..I struggle daily with not feeling good enough and feeling like I will never find true happiness..just wanna crawl into a ball and cry until I disappear from this tragedy that is my heart..
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