And I have to tell someone!! I've had severe anxiety/panic disorder for years. There was a period of time in which I didn't even leave my house (three whole years)! I leave the house now, but never leave the car unless I absolutely HAVE to (vet appointments).
Well, yesterday I decided to go into the health food store with my boyfriend. I wasn't nervous at all! I did notice some looks, but I just wasn't interested in what other people were thinking. That was a small step (relatively speaking; it was HUGE for me), as there weren't many people in the store that time of night.
So today. TODAY! OMG! I decided to go to the movie theatre with my boyfriend - something he misses doing without me so much. We were going to see Avatar 3D and figured since it was around noon on Sunday and the last day showing, there wouldn't be many people there.
First of all, we ended up having to go to a GIGANTIC theater because it was the only one still showing it. OK. Then we walked into the screen room and it was packed! Around 60% full in a huge stadium seating theater. At first I panicked a little, but luckily we found some seats on the end and I didn't need to walk past anyone (although in this theater it's not that tight). So I sat there, watching, and I felt FINE!!
So then I was on a roll! I wanted to go shopping (something I've only done online for around 7 years). I just bought some clothes so I decided to go to Petco and spend too much money on my cats. I had NO problem while there - in fact, I actually felt GOOD about it. I even went and got a worker to help a stuck turtle. (It was so cute.)
In case you are wondering, my meds are: Zoloft 200mg once a day, and Xanax 2mg twice a day. The Zoloft helped for the general anxiety (e.g. I don't worry about someone breaking in or the house burning down), and somewhat with intrusive thoughts. The Xanax helps me focus, so instead of worrying about everything, I'm just...normal.
♡ “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” Buddha ♡
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