Hi Monika, I'm really glad you had such a good appointment with your therapist. I can understand her concerns about whether or not you are suicidal, since it wasn't long ago you had said you wished you were dead, or something like that. Certainly if you feel that way again, you need to talk to her right away! That was a good idea, to break down cleaning and organizing your room into smaller bits so it isn't so overwhelming. I need to remember that too! We are here for you. Leslie
"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out." ---Anton Chekhov
I had a good appointment with my therapist today...I was really anxious about the appointment so I took an attivan before I went, which helped alot, I was relaxed enough to talk to her...she helped me think about the reasons I wasnt sleeping and what was behind the racing thoughts...I just told her about it...and it helped to talk the thoughts I have...I was surprised that I was able to talk about it for the most part..anyway it was a good appointment, she still isnt thrilled that I still have thoughts of suicide, I told her that I had removed the meds from my room, but she wasnt satisfied because I still can easily access them...I really want her to be able to trust me...I dont know what to do about that right now...I really like her, she really wants to help me, I am just not sure she really trusts me...I know that is my fault, because I dont reach out to her for help when I really need it...I have a hard time reaching out to anyone...oh well, I will just work extra hard at earning that trust back....
I also have started cleaning my super cluttered and messy room...the portion I got done made me feel good...my therapist worked with me on this, she is helping me to break it up in smaller portions so I am not worried about it and seeing it as a huge job...that is part of the reason I havnt been able to sleep...
Everyone is always in my prayers, I am thankful to have a group like this, even though I dont always respond and offer support, I am reading posts and praying for everyone...big warm angel hugs. Monika
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future. -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
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