I pray that your days, nights, and 2010 will be better for you. Give that guilt to God, and know that He wants you to rely on Him to help you through anything. Each minute is a new chance to know He wants your happiness.
I have arrived, I am home In the here, in the now I am solid, I am free In the ultimate I dwell Buddha
I am happy that I got out of the hospital and able to spend christmas with my family, it has been good for the most part...today I went to church and out to dinner with my family and a couple people from church...I had a hard time sitting in church...I kept thinking about what I had done a week ago and was feeling awful guilty about it...I really hate that I did it and wish I hadnt...I dont know how to explain how I felt, but there were many moments when I thought I was going to cry...I just feel very foolish and stupid...I need to learn to just trust God with all my issues...Anyway, today was rough...tomorrow my parents are going up to see my sister and my nieces, I could go but I have decided to not go, I just cant deal with my sister right now...She doesnt know about what I did yet but I dont want to deal with it if she finds out...I just got things somewhat straigtened out and am afraid of things going back to the way they were...I guess it is just a protective decision..I have to deal with it eventually but right now I am in now mood to deal with it...I am still trying to adjust after coming out of the hospital...all of this has been hard, last night I had nightmares all night...sigh..anyway, just venting, need to get it out...thanks for listening and for the support...big warm angel hugs. Monika
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future. -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this website can be used without the permission of SparkPeople or its authorized affiliates.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.