It's awesome that you took this huge steps, and you're already feeling better. Working, even as a volunteer, makes you feel needed, keeps you busy and also looks good on your resumè!!! Keep going, don't let your downs keep you from what's making you feel better. About your family meeting, the sooner you confront and solve whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and anxious, the better. Go there for a solution, go there to get things done, go there to get rid of your anxiety. There's nothing to fear, except your own success. Good luck!
[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]
I'm happy that you made it to Hero House where you can have fun and relate and not feel judged - something to look forward to. Hope you can do that each Monday. As far as the family meeting, why not let the therapist do the worrying - she will be in charge. I know how hard it is to allay your concerns about family pressure. We always think our families are judgmental - and many times they are. I am 58 and still have difficulty talking to my dad since my mother died. We always butted heads.
Have a good week, Carol
I have arrived, I am home In the here, in the now I am solid, I am free In the ultimate I dwell Buddha
Thank you all for the support, I love that I can come here and vent and no one gets mad at me...
I am sorry havnt been very supportive I will try to do better, it will be slowly, maybe one post at a time since I am still having concentration problems and I am keeping as busy as I can...even if I dont respond, I am reading as many posts as I can and praying for everyone, you all are always in my thoughts....
Today I went to the Hero House, the outpatient program I told you about, just so you know I will be using the name when I post now...I love that place, I went and today there were lots of people there, so many that I didnt get to talk to all of them and definately dont know all there names...I love it because there are lots of people to talk to and already making some friends and able to joke around with some of them...I feel so welcome and accepted there and since the members help run the place I get to work even if it is volunteer and I feel so useful and needed...I am going to go again tomorrow and as often as I can...today there was a group talking about resumes so I am going to take my laptop with me and go over my resume with someone tomorrow...that will be a key in getting a job, I had my friend help me with it a couple years ago, and I have sort of been updating it, but I could use some help with it now...it also gives me something to look forward to each day...
I had a good day today, however my anxiety is high, mostly because friday my therapist wants to do a family meeting, and all afternoon that has been on my mind, I really dont want to do that and it is scaring me, because I have such a hard time talking to my dad and the idea of doing it scares me....sigh...I cant wait till that is over...anyway that is how things are going for me...right now I am exausted and anxiety is up, but I am doing ok today. Monika
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future. -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
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