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What happened to looking forward to Monday to do something you "love"?
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Hang in there, Monika!
You were feeling great, so try to recollect the reasons why you were feeling good. Try to put yourself out of the situation (like you were another person looking at yourself), and see why you are depressed right now, and see if it's a real thing, or if it's just fear, or something unreal.
I know exactly how you feel, and it really seems like everything is horrible, and that you'll never get out of it. But many times the reasons of feeling like that are illusions, or they are as thin as smoke.
What really helped me was to have something bigger than myself to care about. I started volunteering on the animal shelter in my city. To see the anxiety level of the animals waiting there for a new home made me put my own anxiety in perspective... they are lonely too, and they sleep in a cage, and they never know when they'll get adopted! Even so, they are always wagging their tails, and they always give love to everybody unconditionally... There, I feel important, I put all my energy into helping something bigger, and that made all difference to me. You could try something like that, specially now that you're not working (like me)!!! It makes you move, mentally, physically (I ride my bike to the shelter, so I get a good workout) and later, spiritually, because you'll really see yourself as part as something bigger than you, or your fears.
Give it a try, I really think it'll help. And don't worry, the sun will always shine tomorrow in a new day!
[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]
Co-Leader of the Geocaching North America Team
I really dont know how I feel anymore...I think I am stuck in a mixed mood episode...This morning I was feeling great, but now I am feeling alone and depressed...My anxiety is through the roof and I am having urges to cut...sigh...I just dont know what to do right now...I am sorry I am just really confused...anyway I just wanted to check in and let you all know how I am doing, although I dont know anymore...sigh....
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future.
-Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
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