Last night I started to feel really lonely and began to think of my grandma and how much I miss her...the last time I talked with her we had a fight and I said somethings I shouldnt have and yelled at her..I never got the chance to tell her I was wrong and that I was sorry and that I loved her...I never got the chance to make things right...and I was wrong...She was more of a mom to me then my mom...I miss having her there to talk to..
I often feel like I caused her to die...I hate feeling like this...this all happened about 14 yrs ago, so why cant I forgive myself...right now I am crying as I have been most of the night...when I did sleep I had nightmares....I woke up not wanting to get up and right about now I want to cut and crawl back into bed...I really hate myself and I hate life...I just cant stand feeling this way anymore...but I dont know what to do anymore...I really hate all of this.
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future.
-Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
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