I don't know how it feels to be you, but everybody that have answered before is right! You've been doing great, don't let a setback take the best of you. It's a everyday struggle, and you will succeed!!!
Keep your good work!
[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]
Dear Monika, We all have setbacks, some more serious than others. I'm glad you can tell us and you said you have a wonderful therapist who can help. I so agree with SUMMARAH - she said it so beautifully. I have you in my prayers too. Carol
I have arrived, I am home In the here, in the now I am solid, I am free In the ultimate I dwell Buddha
Monika, I am so sorry that you had to experience that as a child, and remembering it causes you the grief of reliving it. If you can, you need to release those memories of anguish and belittlement. Keeping in mind that everyone is doing the best that they can at that particular moment has really brought me a long way towards letting go of resentment and not harboring ill feelings toward anyone. Look around you, and make a list of five things that you are grateful for -- sunshine, your beautiful children, a home, etc. Write *THOSE* things in your journal. Forget about the past. You cannot relive it, and if remembering it causes you pain, then stop remembering it and stop forcing yourself to do so. Live in the NOW! This is a wonderful life. Everything is temporary. We are here only to have fun.
I will pray for you, Monika, because no matter how bad it seems, it never is. Best wishes, and hang in there. Life is supposed to be fun!
Forgive yourself and move on.
"If you have (love), you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." - Sir James M. Barrie
"God give me the courage to love with an open heart." - India.Arie
Last night I was writing in my journal and started writing about the abuse from my father, started getting all my feelings out, and it caused a flashback...I experienced the time he had me curled up in a corner while he repeatedly hit me...when I came out of that I felt so numb and scared, I cut...in a way I dont regret cutting, because it brought me back to reality and I got the pain I feel I deserve...the only thing that frustrates me is that I had gone 4 months 2 weeks and 3 days without cutting and now I am right back at the beginning...I am so hurt and frustrated with everything that I dont know what the point of not hurting myself...but at the same time I know God doesnt want me to do that and I know by hurting myself I am hurting Christ again....sigh...So I feel I have to stop...but it seems so hard to do and not sure I really have the strength to do it, yesturday I thought I did have that strength, but now I am not so sure, even though last night I really wasnt here mentally and it was so automatic that it is different...I am so confused and so lost right now...anyway, I really had a bad night...big warm angel hugs to all. Monika
Even the smallest people can change the course of the future. -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings fellowship of the ring.
Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney, Meet the Robinsons
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