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JULIED37's Photo JULIED37 Posts: 606
6/2/08 3:21 P

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Sometimes, I think it is that feeling of trying to get everything under control. Because I feel out of control with emotion and anxiety, I want to control other things to try and find a balance of some sort. I guess it helps, to have some control somewhere, but my housework suffers. I feel like I will fail at that too. SO, I avoid it. Which just makes things seem more out of sorts. That all sounds kinda mixed up, but it actually made sense to me. Relax. Proud of you for your weight loss.

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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
6/2/08 3:13 P

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I am trying to relax a little about the housework. I have always wanted every single thing to be done all at once, so I could look around and not see one thing that needed to be done. When I say I wanted everything done, I mean the cupboards to be clean, the baseboards touched up with paint, the bathroom spotless. I wanted it to be perfect all at once. I have a sister like that. Her house is perfect at all times. Even the closets! I am trying to re-train my mind so that my house is tidy, but not spotless. I always think my house is such a mess. My husband is a firefighter and he told me I have no idea. He said, "I go into houses daily and compared to alot of the houses I see, ours is immaculate". For some reason I think everyone else's house is clean except mine. I need to keep reminding myself that this isn't true. So, my goal now is to have a house that is livable, homey and tidy. Not perfect!!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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JULIED37's Photo JULIED37 Posts: 606
6/2/08 11:02 A

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I think it is the thought we have to do it and may not manage to finish and be embrassed our house is a mess. We visited with some friends this weekend and they mentioned "we have never been to your house" "Maybe we should meet up there and ride or have a bbq" I was totally thrown into a panic. They weren't planning on doing it that day, but the thought just sent me into the "OMG" mode. When I got home from the visit. I was sweeping and cleaning the frige. My husband was like "what are you doing", "No one is coming today". I guess it was just the panic mode. Frige and floor looks good though. LOL..

Edited by: JULIED37 at: 6/2/2008 (11:01)
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SIMPLY_YVETTE's Photo SIMPLY_YVETTE Posts: 4,863
6/1/08 6:40 P

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Oh boy can I relate too!

I don't get visitors often, but when I do I get totally crazy about having to get the house spotless. Now I'm wondering if the anxiousness is from having to have a clean house, or is it that I become totally stressed about the fact that I'm having visitors? emoticon

Edited by: SIMPLY_YVETTE at: 6/1/2008 (18:39)
I, and only I, can make this happen!
No one can exercise for me.
No one is going to spoon feed me the right foods.
No one is going to love me more than I love myself.
And no one is going to do for me, what only I can do for myself.
www.myspace.com/happy_yvette


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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,181
6/1/08 4:37 P

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I may not be a mother, but I get the muffin story! It sounds like a segmant out of a day I might have. Only the kids would be my animals.....2 cats and a dog. The cat would have knocked over the coffee.

Thank you for sharing that.

Speaking of housework......UGH I really have got to get started on mine. I wish I hadn't let it get so bad. I wish I had a bulldozer. LOL!

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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JULIED37's Photo JULIED37 Posts: 606
5/29/08 9:56 A

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I totally get the Muffin story. That sounds exactly like me. I guess we each find ways to compensate. I appreciate all the ideas. You guys are great. Thanks

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ERTHMOM7's Photo ERTHMOM7 Posts: 4,413
5/29/08 1:04 A

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I used to be an obsessed housekeeper...until people got uncomfortable in my home because it was too clean. Now I allow myself to obsess every couple of months for a day or two, but otherwise have a daily routine that keeps me happy without paralyzing my friends and family when they come over. It took me a very long time to hit a happy medium.

Hearing about my habit of starting on a chore only to be distracted again and again reminded me of a short story I've read and love.

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.) The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

by Kathy Fictorie
based on "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff





~Elaine~


There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is. -Albert Einstein




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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,181
5/28/08 9:32 P

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Julie~ Simplistic is great. I like the bag idea.....think I'll steal that one too. I always end up going from room to room because things are out of place.

Izzy~ You are right......it is a home. Thank you for that reminder. Glad you have your girl friend to help you and you to help her. Makes things easier.

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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OMAIZZY's Photo OMAIZZY Posts: 493
5/28/08 11:11 A

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Man, are we all alike or what?? Can't wait to start on MY one room at a time plan. I'm also helping my girlfriend do the same thing at her place. We spend one day a week there working through one project (or room). Once my son and his family are gone from my house, she'll come over and do the same with/for me.
We'll get there eventually, ladies!
Izzy
p.s. I'd also like to say that while I like a tidy, clean house, I think we're really adversely influenced by all these tv shows that pretty much say if your house isn't completely sterile and devoid of anything that says 'you', it's a mess. Let's cut ourselves a little slack and remember it's a HOME, not a showplace.

JULIED37's Photo JULIED37 Posts: 606
5/28/08 10:56 A

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One room at a time, one task at a time. It seems less overwhelming that way. I am really bad about being in one room and finding something that goes in another room, I take it there and start doing stuff in that room. Instead I take plastic grocery bags with me to the room I am in. This bag is for stuff that is going in the kitchen, this one is stuff in the bathroom...etc. That way I don't leave the room I am in and can usually manage to finish it. Sounds simplistic but it works for me. LOL is does sound silly, but I know myself well enough, that if I leave the room I am cleaning it, I end up somewhere else and don't finish where I started. Good luck!

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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,181
5/27/08 9:27 P

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1 room at a time............Now that's BRILLIANT! I will give that a spin. I usually am the distracted one with lots of half finished jobs around here. Hmmmm which room first?



Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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JULIED37's Photo JULIED37 Posts: 606
5/27/08 12:44 P

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LOL...I am totally the same way. I usually try Izzy's method, of one room at a time. I become overwhelmed, when what I just cleaned is messed up by my daughters. Then I feel, whats the point, and usually don't do anything. Which is bad, because my house really needs it. I guess I will begin again, in rooms my girls don't use and maybe I can accomplish something.

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OMAIZZY's Photo OMAIZZY Posts: 493
5/26/08 9:57 A

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I think that's pretty good advice. I'm the same - an 'all or nothing' person. Lately my house has been 'nothing' cos my son and his wife and daughter, who have lived with me the last two years, are moving out and my house seems to have become a staging ground for all their furniture which was previously stored at various relatives', as well as my place. I've just 'given up' but in a good way. I let it go cos I know they'll be gone in a week (despite what I'm saying here, I will miss them terribly - we got along very well) and then I will slowly work through the place to get it the way I want it. I have a plan - and maybe that could work for you, Becky. I'm going to work on one room - get it the way I want it, then close the door and move on to the next. My problem, normally, is that I get distracted and see something else that needs to be done and then I have 10 half-finished jobs around the house. Of course, this is easier if you're living alone, which I'll be doing. But maybe you should consider it as an option.
Izzy

B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/26/08 1:19 A

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I think I will leave my bathroom. It is pretty messy.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,181
5/25/08 11:08 P

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LOL....Leave the one you dislike doing the most.
emoticon

Let us know how you do with it.

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/25/08 9:31 P

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AROSEFORC, I think that is a good idea actually. I think I might try that. Thank you! Oh, but now I have to figure out what chore not to do. HAHA

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,181
5/25/08 7:42 P

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I struggle with house work. I either have a spotless house or a house that is completly icky and out of control. I am just all or nothing.

Right now things are out of control and now I am too overwhelmed to do much of anything. I know baby steps are helpful.I usually set a timer for 15-20 minutes and do what I can do in one area at a time.

If I am having company that is when the obsessive cleaning comes into play.......minus when my brother came. For some reason I didn't feel the pressure to be perfect for his arrival.

Becky I wonder if you could allow yourself to leave something not done before you go as sort of an exposure therapy type thing. Like make a pact with yourself ok this...this and this will be done but this one thing can be left undone. Or would that just drive you into maddness while on your camping trip?



Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/25/08 6:37 P

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That is me. I want it all done at once. I want to be able to sit back and not see anything to be done. Just relax. And, don't you hate those magazines? If I get too many, I have to toss them or it will overwhelm me. While I am reading the first one all I can think about is the other million still there. HAHA

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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SUMMARAH's Photo SUMMARAH Posts: 2,516
5/25/08 6:12 P

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OMG! I soooo can relate. I have fostered the dream of having all the housework done at one time - even for just a half a day - since I can remember. It's probably the main reason that I don't work out as often as I should. I am constantly thinking, "I'll get to it as soon as I finish this." Problem is, "THIS" is never finished cuz it turns into another thing and another and then it's either time for bed or I am just too pooped to pop. But then again, I honestly don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have house cleaning and laundry. I don't know -- maybe read one of these 50 thousand unread magazines under my desk!

Forgive yourself and move on.

"If you have (love), you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." - Sir James M. Barrie

"God give me the courage to love with an open heart." - India.Arie


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CANUCKER08's Photo CANUCKER08 Posts: 2,436
5/25/08 3:48 A

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I'm a bit like that too, but more so if someone is coming over, then I go nuts and can't sleep for days before knowing I have to do this and that, even though I know intellectually that they couldn't give a damn what my place looked like!!

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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/24/08 8:54 P

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Well, I got the dishes going and put in a load of laundry. That's it!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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OMAIZZY's Photo OMAIZZY Posts: 493
5/24/08 6:22 P

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Exactly...you're going to stress yourself out doing something no one else will notice or appreciate. I know it's hard, but as a friend of mine always says to me when I start to obsess (and you have to be a movie fan to get it):

'Let it go, Indianna'


B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/24/08 6:15 P

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I have always been this way. It does drive me nuts! I am glad I am not the only one though! What happens is I look around and I see every little thing that isn't right. I was even going to wash the dog's blankets so that they would be clean when they went into the trailer! And, I think to myself, who cares if the floors are clean, because when we get home, everyone is going to track stuff in from walking in and out with all of their stuff. But, it still bugs me.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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OMAIZZY's Photo OMAIZZY Posts: 493
5/24/08 6:11 P

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Good God, are you ME???
Before I retired, I travelled all over the world for my work and I felt (and if I'm honest, STILL feel) as though I couldn't leave the house unless it was perfect. I think that's partly growing up with a German mother - alles in ordnung! - who kept our house spotless. You can drive yourself nuts with that sort of thing.
The way I approach it, is I make sure it's 'tidy' - and that means the bare minimum. Do your closets really need to be organized before you go?? Pick up the worst of the mess, do the dishes, just enough so that you can come home to a house that we feel relaxed in.
And enjoy your trip!!
Izzy

B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/24/08 5:58 P

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I am going camping several days from now and I have been trying to pack and clean up the house. The problem is I feel overwhelmed by the house. I feel like the floors need to be done, the bathrooms are a mess, there is clutter on the end table, the bedroom needs to be dusted. I know I could just wait until I get back from camping, but I feel like it has to be perfect before I go. This morning, I did the dishes and tidied up my bedroom closet a bit, but I just feel I will never get all of this done! Oh, and the laundry is calling me. I think I am going insane looking around at all that needs to be done!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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