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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,471
5/18/08 4:20 P

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Tregiani~ That had to be very traumatic to go through losing your cousin in such a way. I think it's natural that you felt he just disappeared. What else were you left to think?

I think you touched on something very important: fear of not being good enough to keep people around. That is a huge to acknowledge that fear and to realize that you are good enough. You are a very deserving and likeable person.

Becky~ How awesome that you and your husband have been together so long and have such a sweet back ground. I love to hear stories like that. I can see why you'd fear losing him as you've spent a large part of your life with hi,. I think the key is staying in the moment and enjoying him while he is here and trying not to let those intrusive thoughts of losing him take over that enjoyment. It's not easy though and fear can be so overwhelming.

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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5/18/08 10:15 A

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Prayer always help!
And you have such a beautiful history with your husband... I can understand your fear. This fear of missing something that is very important for us, right?
But my therapist always said that this is only in our heads, that this is unreal.
What would be the way to just believe it - that it's not real? Because it really isn't.

[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]

Co-Leader of the Geocaching North America Team
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/17/08 10:21 P

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My husband and I do everything together. We are best friends and so the thought of losing him scares me to death!! I have been with him since I was 15 years old. We started dating at 15 and got married at 17. He is 41 now and I am 40. I know it isn't good to fear like this. I am sure it is unhealthy. I wish I had some relief. I have prayed about it alot. I guess I am just afraid of living life without him.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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5/17/08 4:18 P

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I've lost a cousin when I was very young. He was my best friend, and my parents didn't take me to his funeral... they though it was the best for me. So, for me, my cousin just disappeared, had just left me... and I think that maybe that's why I'm always afraid of losing people I love.
I guess it's just like becky said... fear of being left behind, of not being good enough to keep people around, or even maybe, of not having a chance to make people know how important they are to me.
I've discussed this a lot with my analist, and every anxiety crisis I have, I bring this back to my mind, trying to solve this issue, so I'll not be that afraid.
I don't know if that's the thing, but I can't seem to find any better answer!

[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]

Co-Leader of the Geocaching North America Team
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/15/08 3:26 P

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I think it stems from my fear of being left behind. I probably depend way too much on my husband. He is my life support. So, I think I fear losing him for fear that I will be left alone, depressed, with noone to talk to.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,471
5/15/08 11:50 A

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I would be curious to know where it stems from.

I mean for myself I worry about losing my dear friend whenever he doesn't pick up the phone during a time he usually would. I always picture him in a wreck or hurt or anything of that nature. But it seems as though other's fears come on suddenly for no apparent reason.

Have either of you lost a loved one in the past?

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


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5/15/08 10:25 A

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Exactly, Becky! I can also deal with all kinds of stress, like the ones you get from work, or from something unexpected for example. But not this one of losing a loved one.
When I start getting anxious because of it, I can't do anything else. I can't eat, I can't work, I can't do nothing! I always try to change that image in my head, but you know, it's hard. And we should know that it's not real! How strong are our mind...
Anyway, I'm glad I'm not alone!
I think what would help is understand why we're so afraid of this. Because I think that nobody likes to think about losing a loved one, but why it does hurt so bad on us, why it does scare us more than scare others?
Have you ever though about it?

[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]

Co-Leader of the Geocaching North America Team
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/14/08 9:14 P

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They only help me mildly. I still worry about someone in my family dying all the time. It is really hard! I can deal with checking the stove 3 times. It is just the anxiety of losing a loved one that drives me nuts!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,471
5/14/08 9:08 P

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I was always diagnosed with OCD like tendencies until I changed to a new dr a year ago. He picked up on it really quickly and took a much more throughral look. The thing is that no meds seem to be really effective for me as far as the OCD part....how about you?



Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


 November Minutes: 281
 
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/14/08 8:41 P

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Hi there. I have been diagnosed with OCD too!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 21,471
5/14/08 5:46 P

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Hi Becky! Hi Tregiani!

Neither of you are alone. While my anxiety is somewhat different I often do worry about the worst case scenarios of things. Most of my anxiety is generalized and sneaks up on me, but some centers around fear of things. I build up things in my head. I get anxious about certain things because I fear something will go wrong or something bad will happen.

I recently did an OCD questionere that my psych-dr has me do every few months to see my progress with my OCD and having the fear of things going wrong or fear of hurting others, or fear of bad things happening is actaully a common symptom of OCD which is an anxiety disorder. I'm not suggesting you have OCD, just sharing what I have learned.

For me trying to stay in the moment as Tregiani mentioned helps. Also it helps me to replace irrational thoughts with rational ones. They key to this is being able to distiguish the difference and catch them. Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts helps too but isn't always so easy.

Today I have been struggling with the out of nowhere anxiety. I have had one panic attack today. I need to learn to deep breath and relax.

Hugs to both of you. Together we can get through this!

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team!

Co-Leader of L.I.F.T Ladies in Fellowship together


 November Minutes: 281
 
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/14/08 2:55 P

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I do the same things!! I worry until I am sick that someone will die or get hurt. If my husband runs to the grocery store, I am afraid he will get in an accident! It is awful! I added you as a friend. Maybe we can share our experiences and at least know we aren't alone!

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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5/14/08 2:48 P

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Hello Becky!
Well, I do understand what you feel. I've posted a topic last week saying exactly the same thing! That I was feeling tired of being anxious! I'm pretty much like you, everything is awesome in my life, I have a wonderful family and a wonderful boyfriend that cares a lot about me, but I am always afraid that something bad is going to happen!
If somebody takes longer to get home or to call me I think that something went wrong. It never did, but I always pick the worst alternative.
What helps me is thinking that all this fear belongs only to our head, that we can't control things and we should live the moment... but sometimes I break down too, and I can't function.
Right now I'm also looking for help, to see if I can't get better seeing that I'm not the only one. And thank you, you're showing me that I'm not. And together we can get through it.

[be the change you wanna see in the world] [gandhi]

Co-Leader of the Geocaching North America Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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B_E_C_K_Y's Photo B_E_C_K_Y Posts: 725
5/14/08 2:19 P

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I am really at my wits end with the anxiety in my life. If you looked at my life, you wouldn't see anything major. I have a home, kids that love me, a husband that is understanding, and yet, I have so much anxiety that I feel I am going to scream! I am on 3 different meds right now and still no relief. I have been in treatment for 10 years and I wonder if it will ever go away. I panic about everything. If my 10 year old daughter goes outside to play, I am panic stricken that she will get hit by a car, even though our street is fairly safe. If I have to go to Wal-mart, I am afraid I will get in a wreck. I am constantly on pins and needles! So, I am hoping that someone will understand and know what I am going through!

Edited by: B_E_C_K_Y at: 5/14/2008 (14:20)
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.



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