Makes sense to me too. I have Ativan at hand, but I hardly take them, but knowing I have them around in case I get really bad anxiety and nothing else is working, helps.
Doctors seem to worry about patients getting addicted to drugs like Ativan or Xanax, but for me, it hasn't been a problem at all. Maybe because I seem to have a really high tolerance and it doesn't always affect me very much.
I have taken medications in the past, but am not currently. But, I did go last month and ask for something because the anxiety/panic has been a bit out of control the past couple months.
He gave me 3 prescriptions - Xanax, Effexor and Rozeram (sleeping pill). I filled them, but I have yet to take any of them though. I tend to have anxiety about taking medication. Kinda funny, I'm too anxious to take my anxiety meds
I'm like michlow though and just knowing that they are sitting there for me helps me to calm down. Almost like they are a security blanket.
". . .but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
"As long as their is a dream, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
I just started taking meds as needed, a few weeks ago. My Doc gave me a choice between one that I would need to take all the time, and one that i could take as needed. I felt more comfortable with the as needed one, as I don't want to be on meds all the time (and I guess I don't really feel like its necessary for me).
But I do find that I usually consider taking my meds as a last case scenario. I usually try to do everything to talk myself down first. Honestly, sometimes just knowing that I can take the meds if needed is enough to help me calm down. (Not like before I had the meds and could freak myself out by worrying that I was going to freak out!)
Maybe you are on the wrong medication for you, or maybe you don't notice the difference in you as much as those around you when you don't take them. Maybe your wife sees you acting differently when you don't take them, like you're more irritable, etc. Have you tried other medications? I've tried so many, and many don't work at all for me!
If I'm feeling good, and not anxious, I may skip doses because I don't get any side effects if I do miss doses, with some meds you do. Then if I'm highly anxious, I'll definitely take them, and sometimes double up if it's not helping (okay'd by the doc).
I hate having to be on medication. I hate it to the point that I will sometimes go days without taking them. It seems like I have a sense of calmness then I feel like I don't need the meds. Last night my wife and I got into an argument (this RARELY happens. She asked, "when is the last time you took your medications?" I honestly couldn't remember the last time I took them.
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