You are smart too, you are just struggling because of your feelings for him. I know it's hard to not contact him, and I don't blame you. Think of other things to do to keep you busy. I don't have too many friends either, my good friends and family are super busy in their lives and I'm not. I've been on spark for the last few weeks... I spend a ridiculous amount of time on here every day, reading posts, blogs, tracking things, etc. because on my days off I don't have enough to occupy my time.
Be kind to yourself, and talk to as many people as you can. If you're anything like me, I have to talk and write to process my feelings.
You can do this :)
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