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LORELLELAURA's Photo LORELLELAURA SparkPoints: (10,818)
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2/25/13 8:18 A

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I would not stand for anyone telling me to stop being monogamous, as to me that has nothing to do with my religion. The reason I'm faithful to my husband is because I love him - simple as :-)

Lorelle xx

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AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
2/6/13 8:43 P

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That's what I was thinking - I'm glad to know that this is NOT the norm. The only reason I am questioning leaving is because I like the other people in the group. But I strongly dislike the way this guy is acting.

And actually, now that I think about it, he hasn't been to the past few rituals, due to work constraints.

Amber and Wayne
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Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

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ZAIVALA's Photo ZAIVALA Posts: 2,064
2/6/13 1:48 P

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Right. And I guess I forgot to say, there are predators in all religions, and there are entire covens or families or groves of willing (or trained to be willing) victims who have been taught that such is the price for the knowledge they are to gain. IT AIN'T SO and don't fall for it, please.

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CHEFWITCH's Photo CHEFWITCH Posts: 924
2/6/13 1:33 P

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Wow! I'd probably leave the group, I don't like people putting pressure on me to do anything and to be honest, this guy sounds a bit predatory.

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MARETIDE's Photo MARETIDE Posts: 187
2/6/13 10:14 A

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My bf is a Gardnarian and we, and his whole coven, are monogamous. My Druid grove is part monogamy, part polyamory, and no one tries to force anyone into something they don't want. Ployamory is acceptable, but NOT REQUIRED in Paganism. It is also perfectly acceptable to be monogamous. If someone is trying to force you in a direction you don't want to go, especially in a direction contrary to your sexuality, you drop that fukker like a rock. You don't need a predatory person or coven in your life, especially if its some one you are working MAGIC with! Remember that there are MANY monogamous Pagans like you.

Stay strong.

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ZAIVALA's Photo ZAIVALA Posts: 2,064
2/5/13 1:36 P

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I was raised Gardnerian (initiated in 1983) and it is not common... but not looked down upon. If it isn't for you, don't do it, and stay away from people trying to force you into it.

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Moss

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XAVIENNE's Photo XAVIENNE Posts: 29
2/5/13 9:12 A

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It certainly isn't common that I know of, though Polyamory tends to be more common among pagans than other faiths. Either way you are being bullied by someone in a position of power who should absolutely not be behaving in such a way. That, to me, is a sign it is time to leave that group.
In general Gardnerians are the more conservative types although the skyclad tradition is strong with Gardnerians. I would seriously question anyone who says you can't be a monogamous witch.

Edited by: XAVIENNE at: 2/5/2013 (09:21)
"It's a conspiracy of Cartographers!"


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AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
2/5/13 9:01 A

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This actually probably isn't going to be what anyone else expects.

Instead of being part of a regular coven, I found a group on meetup.com, about 2 years ago, that is a misc. assortment of witches and pagans, and frequently do ritual with them. Prior to this, I'd been a solitary for roughly 13 years.

Several of the other members are also into polyamory. Cool, whatever works for them, not my thing. Two of them are Gardenarian, and also the group mods (and a married couple, but that's not really relevent). They seem to have taken a STRONG interest in me, especially the man, and he is consistently pushing me towards to poly-thing. Most recently, telling me that I need to "get over" being monogamous in my marriage. He has also apparently made comments to other members basically saying that being monogamous and being a witch don't mix.

Now, I know how I feel about this. Its actually becoming a big enough deal that I'm considering leaving the group. There is a small coven that comes to meetings too, that I'm somewhat interested in joining, and I have several other friends within the group that I can keep in touch with on my own. I don't feel like I need to continue to deal with unwanted pressure and back-stabbing criticism. Up until now, and the last few comments, I was able to brush it off. I don't dislike him as a person, but this crosses the line for me.

What I would like to know, is this a common belief in Gardenarians? I've run across witches that were poly before, but none so hostile about being (nicely) turned down.

Amber and Wayne
Together in 2005, married since 2007

Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

Baby #2
due 11/25/2014


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