Hi there! Since you have to do your worship/rituals "on the sly"; do you have a drawer in your room that will not be violated? If so, you can set up a little altar there. It needn't be obvious. An altar can also be on a shelf in the open with some shells to represent water, seasonal decor such as a cinnamon candle would be great for fire and readily available now. A wind chime or something with feathers can symbolize air and any potted plant, stone or even money can represent earth. You just have to be a bit more creative is all and that is a big part of paganism anyway.
My mother was evangelical Christian as well and I had to attend a Baptist school my entire educational career so I fully understand the paradox. It helped some for me to research Yahweh. Did you know he was originally a pagan war god similar to Mars or Aries? True! Explained a lot to me about his ruthlessness in the Old Testament stories. He also had a wife, Asherah,(I think that's the right name) whose image was kept in the temple until around 500BC. It was radical yahweh-ists who gained power and had the goddess images removed. Much of the OT scriptures were re-written about this time as well and included reworked Babylonian stories such as the creation and the great flood.
When I had to go to church and maintain a "proper" image, I just dedicated the songs we sang to Hecate in my heart. I might even slip in a "she" for "he" in the songs if I wasn't likely to get caught. If you happen to be doing communion that particular service, in your heart, dedicate it as you would a cakes and ale ceremony. A simple thought of 'may you never hunger; may you never thirst' and "to the gods" instead of Amen.
Even the decor of a cross is pagan if viewed correctly. It represents the 4 cardinal directions of the circle. And Jesus wasn't the only deity to be hung on the cross or stay dead for 3 days. Do some research on Mithra and Odin. There are many other sacrificial archetypes as well. I learned that simply tweaking my perception of the teachings helped a lot. In the end I was unable to tolerate the narrow-minded, judgmental attitudes and politics in the church, so I left.
I hope this gives you some ideas and perhaps places to start to be able to practice your faith as you wish.
This link was posted to YouTube by an athiest, but it does outline some of the information I mentioned that I think you might find interesting.
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