It's never easy to lose someone. We all deal with grief in different ways, so it's hard to know what to expect. The feelings though, are usually the same. Try to find a creative outlet to channel the energies into. I find writing to be typically good for that. Just get a sheet of paper and a pen out, and let it flow. Don't censor any of it. After all is said and done, you'll feel better that you've gotten all your thoughts down. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask.
FYRSTORME1, grieving feels differently to each person and in my experience for each person you grieve for. My best advice is to let other’s do for you for a while; you will all be better for it.
On a practical help note, I recommend two books. “The Pagan Book of Death & Dying” by Macha Nightmare & Starhawk & Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman
There is a spark group here called Moving Forward Through Grief and Loss. I am no longer active on the team, but they were helpful for me when I needed them.
There is also a book that I found very helpful in my own greiving process. The Pagan Book of Living and Dying.
I am SO sorry for your loss, and wish you peace.
Edited by: KASHMIR at: 6/14/2010 (15:15)
~Robin~ Vancouver, WA - SPSW 180 BLC 24-Silver Spies *************** 2013 race schedule 4/19-4/20 Ragnar Relay So. Cal 6/16 Vancouver USA Marathon 6:16:45 8/3 Race for the Homeless 10k 1:14:02 9/8 Pints to Pasta 10k 1:09:47 9/28 Best Dam Run 10k 10/6 Portland Marathon 6:09:32 10/7-10/31 Dia de las Muertos virtual marathon 10/12 Great Bacon Run 10k 11/9 Chicks Fat Ass Relay 12/7 Christmas Story 10k (virtual)
Everyone grieves differently, but your symptoms sound very typical. Take it easy, don't be too hard on yourself, and if your feelings don't improve, or you feel more depressed and can't get out of your "slump"...seek out someone to talk to.
I lost my little brother to a car accident in 2003. I was also going through some very tough times with my daughter at that point as well. In talking to my regular doctor, she offered anti-depressants to me a couple of times. I figured if she was offering them, and more than once, maybe she was seeing something I wasn't. I did take them for a year, then got off of them. It was helpful, and I am glad that I took them.
Take care and I am very sorry to hear that you have lost your sister. That has to be very difficult for you.
Brightest Blessings! Tes
"There are no mistakes, cheat days, or bad days. Each day is a day in the laboratory of your life. You experiment and learn from what worked or didn't work and make better choices the next day based on what you learned." - MariLou Henner -
Grief, loss, guilt, fear, anger, depression...you may be experiencing any or all of these feelings.
Their is no "right" or "normal" way to feel when someone who has been part of our lives dies. Each individual experiences this in a different way.
Your feelings are important and need to be honored and processed as they come up for you. Sometimes it is useful to consult a "grief counselor". Perhaps there is a priestess in your spiritual community who can go through this with you.
You may feel the need to talk out your feelings, or express them in another way, as in art, music, movement. This process is important and meaningful.
Suppression of your feelings is not a healthful option, yet uncontrolled catharsis may not be safe for you. This is where your priestess, shamanic healer, or grief counselor can help - being present for you, listening, witnessing, and holding you in safety.
You may know that Hel is the patroness and protectress of those who die in illness, and the comforter to the grieving. There may be Another in your personal belief structure Who plays a similar role. Many women in my community apply to Kwan Yin for Her comfort and help.
This is a natural but difficult process, made even more difficult because our Western culture wants to hide it in a corner after 5 minutes of high drama.
There will be those who will want you to "just get over it". These folks have not faced and processed their own feelings about death.
Perhaps there is someone in your spiritual community who will babysit for you, but, if not, go to your personal sacred space to ritualize this event.
I just found out yesterday that my sister died on saturday of breast and bone cancer and it was in stage 4. My stomach is feeling very sour and upset and i want so despirately to go back to bed and stay there. Is this what it feels like to greive for someone???? i have never grieved for anyone before. I wouldn't know what to expect. I'm going to the showing on teusday but i can't go to the burial on wednesday because i don't have a sitter. Don't think i can do it twice any how.
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