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FREEOAK1's Photo FREEOAK1 Posts: 2,824
9/30/09 8:32 A

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Happy last day of September.

Due to Tom's and my health situation, we find we do not want anymore pets. What with rising costs...property tax, our own health care, etc, we cannot afford to give the health care to take them to the vets.

We're animal people. I've always had a dog or a cat, but only one at a time to insure we could afford to give them the best health care possible. But, times and situations have changed for us.

I really miss having a dog.

As for shedding...our last dog, a black lab, had shed hair in places we didn't know we had. Every so often we will move a piece of furniture and Swiffer behind it and lo and behold, we are still finding her hair. It's been 5 - 6 years since we've had our beloved lab. Her hair must be in the vent system and it must blow out when the air or heat is on.

I get all misty-eyed when I find hair from past furry children.

LH*L
HARM NONE
KEEP ON, KEEPING ON
BLESSED BE
FREEOAK

You can believe any way you want to, but it doesn't give you the right to savage another person's belief." ...Law and Order

"Do not allow anyone or any government to dictate in whom you can or can't believe...FreeOak


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MAIMIE1's Photo MAIMIE1 Posts: 1,264
7/8/09 4:52 P

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I'm so glad to have slick coats on our dogs but they still shed. The carpet in the bedroom is an industrial style and the vaccum doesn't pick up the hair well off of it. Have to tape it! One day we'll have new flooring...
Aren't in-laws just the most fun? I adore mine. Course, I adore them in Ne, I live in Washington. hehe. Actually, they're OK.

To everything there is a season

"I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds"
HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
7/8/09 2:07 P

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Our dogs are insanely furry, and have to be brushed a LOT, but I do all t hat since my DH is allergic. We also have a hepa-filter on the vacuum...so it's not like our house is covered in hair. Their house is covered in cig smoke, so yeah...leave my dogs alone.




Edited by: HORNED_GODDESS at: 10/14/2009 (09:45)
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MAIMIE1's Photo MAIMIE1 Posts: 1,264
7/7/09 2:31 P

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My cousins had a rottie when they had their first baby. My Great-aunt threw a total fit. You HAVE to get rid of that dog! It will KILL your baby! Um no. Doesn't work that way.
And yeah, your sister-in-law is a GUEST in your DOGS home. If she doesn't like, she doesn't have to stay, right?
I wish my house could stay cleaned and picked up. It seems like I get one room done and the rest explode. Where's Alice from the Brady Bunch when you need her? At least the laundry is clean! Getting it put away, well, that's another story all together...
Good luck on getting pregnant! Will it be your first people baby?

To everything there is a season

"I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds"
HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
7/7/09 1:57 P

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yeah, I have OCD so I know for a fact, cleaning can get WAY out of hand! I have to catch myself if I start down the perfectionism route...you can really drive yourself and everyone else batty with that.
ay !"

Edited by: HORNED_GODDESS at: 9/25/2009 (11:10)
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MAIMIE1's Photo MAIMIE1 Posts: 1,264
7/6/09 5:47 P

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It's weird having to put boundaries up with parents. Have to do that w/my folks. They're only "allowed" to come to my house once or twice a year. It's just way too stressful otherwise. They are both very much perfectionists which is fine but they take things to a level that just isn't healthy in my opinion. Mom's house is immaculate at all times; brushes out the toilet a couple times a DAY kind of thing. She's been fortunate enough to not have to work outside the house and she gets bored so she cleans. Even if my house is compeletly sterile they don't like the way I decorate, they don't like the dogs (she's tried giving them away before), the car port is too messy, there's a toilet roll core and a Qtip in the bathroom garbage - you had better get that out RIGHT NOW. When was the last time you dusted the tops of the window frames? And then there's the yard. I own my own place now but she insists that I shouldn't bother with flower beds etc cause I'm just creating more work for myself. She has a beautiful yard but will share starts of things only grudgingly but then tells me I shouldn't be putting a whole lot of money into the yard. Dad seems to think if we don't have the lawn the right shade of green or cut the exact appropriate arbitrary length the neighbors will start egging the house or leaving notes in the mail box. Oh, forgot. They don't really care for my husband either. He's OK, just not good enough you know. All that being said, I love them dearly and don't know what I'ld do without them. There's only my parents, brother and his family, 1 aunt, my husband and 2 stepsons. That's it for family. But it's just better if I go visit them.
Boundaries are good!

To everything there is a season

"I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds"
HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
7/6/09 3:29 P

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Wow...I'm glad your brother is looking at it the right way, learning from it!

I have a good relationship with my dad now. Wasn't always that way; I had to have a big talk with him. Since I rebelled and never did what he said or advised, I was supposed to be A Big Failure. Since my sister was always daddy's girl SHE was supposed to be A Big Success. When it didn't turn out that way...my dad started pretending everything I did was just a huge stroke of luck. He was very p/a about lots of things....I wrote him a letter and said cut the crap! I was able to have a discussion with him through emails and letters...I set some pretty good boundaries with him, but I was willing to walk if I couldn't, and HE is fairly reasonable. Mostly with him it was patterns of behavior we were both used to but not happy with. Since he was a jerk I held him at a very long arm's length...now we're pretty close and he knows my limits.

I have even thought about not having contact with my sister before, because she can be pretty nasty sometimes, but she still lives next to my dad. So I'm stuck with dealing with her in some way. I *have* told my dad before, I prefer to visit my sister with him or my stepmother, since she usually acts better when they are around. So, they kinda know, when I come around, that we will *all* go visit as a family. That's how I run things when I'm on their turf...so her coming to MY turf was gonna be a huge shock!

Anyway, I try not to let her problems become my problems. It is annoying when she "copies" things I do...then slaps them all over facebook for attention. But I just sigh and think "She'll get tired of whatever-it-is soon enough and I'll still be doing it...it makes ME happy, and she's just doing it for attention so it won't last." So far that has been true for several things but she is still getting shock-value from "I'm a witch" so I'm just going to keep my head down and next time she wants to "stop by," I have an even stronger reason to say no..."I'm not making plans with you because last time you didn't show up!" lol! copout, I know!

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MAIMIE1's Photo MAIMIE1 Posts: 1,264
7/6/09 2:59 P

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I have an older brother that was the Golden One. He's now in prison. Yea for him! (It's a forgery charge; maybe he should have gone in, maybe not. He is learning at least from it, has said if this wouldn't have happened, he would have just continued to push the envelope.) I told my Dad that everytime we hear from him or his family anymore, it sure makes me look that much better! hehe He laughed at that one.
I don't understand people that throw out "I'm a witch." just don't get it. Shock value maybe? for me, I prefer to keep my beliefs very personal and private and that has worked so far for me. We have a friend who is a Lutheran minister who calls me a heathen without knowing how true that is! hehe. I also work with a lot of mormons. Just best to keep my head down. Don't need the missionaries at my door step nor flaming crosses on my lawn. My husband doesn't even really know, he grew up in Nebraska w/some very strict protestant idea's. I don't want to traumitize him.
I get what you mean about putting it all away. Sometimes it's just safer; then you don't get sucked into a discussion about the item. You know, where you got it, why you have it, how much did you pay for it, what do you use it for and then my personal favorite - that your wrong to have/use it that way, I got mine for more or less etc. And they don't grow legs and mysteriously walk away from you.
How's your relationship with your Dad? Are you OK with it cause that's what matters, not her. Don't make her issues yours if you don't have to. Easier said than done...

To everything there is a season

"I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds"
HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
7/6/09 12:02 P

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Thanks for your insight! lmao at the "better homes and gardens." Mine was more like something out of that magazine Real Simple...HIDE EVERYTHING! NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

You hit a couple nails on their heads...she does a LOT of the things she does to be "cool." I don't know how she would take me sending her a book. If I thought she would read it and use it, I might, but honestly I think she would take it to mean we are now best pagan friends and the next time we see each other we can do some sort of working together. Also, she tends to lean toward the insty-fix type of books, the "101 spells to get what you want right now" type stuff, because she doesn't seem to want to do any work, spiritually...it just seems very for-show. She talks a lot about it in front of people and anytime she can, edges in "I'm a witch." It's rather odd.

You're 100% right about the daddy's girl bit, too. She is the oldest so when we grew up she was the "golden child," and my role was always "black sheep." I outgrew mine but I have noticed she will point out things she thinks might make people think badly of me, *especially* with our father. In fact, she told me not to tell our dad she is a pagan because our stepmom is a christian and she wouldn't approve. Funny, since stepmom knows *I* am a pagan; I think the main purpose for my sister telling me "don't tell them" was a p/a way of saying "they don't approve of YOU." lol! She works that way. You never know what she means, what she is after, or how she is going to act...all HUGE reasons I tend to avoid.

It does help talking about it. It's hard to talk about because it's a lot of little odd things that add up to a huge aversion.


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MAIMIE1's Photo MAIMIE1 Posts: 1,264
7/5/09 12:15 P

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HG, it sounds to me like just posting here has helped. You've been able to open up about your concerns, your mixed emotions with your sister, your history. I know all too well the anxiety of having critcal houseguests (My mother is coming for a bbq at the end of the month. Time to get the place ready for a Better Homes and Gardens spread!). By sharing those you've been able to work through them. Now that she's not coming it's a huge sigh of relief but it's also a good time I think while you have the momentum to reinforce to her that by bringing a friend univited and pushing into your space which is very profoundly personal to you she's gone too far. I tend to be a bit blunt at times. She's needing some boundaries big time. Was she Daddy's girl? I feel like she's always been the princess and likely to pout if she doesn't get her way.
I can't claim to practice much of anything other than conversing regularly. Too me, I don't feel the need to have ritual or things Just So. That's part of what draws me to paganism. There is no It has to be THIS way only. That being said, there are things it's just best not to mess with and she's dabbling with fire. Could this be an opprotunity to guide her at all? Maybe send her a copy of your favorite book or suggest some research avenues for her? If she's doing this to be cool, it's really not a good idea. The fates will not be pleased. Then again, she just may not get that anyway.

To everything there is a season

"I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds"
HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
7/1/09 11:02 A

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Judy, you have never so much as poked my boundaries. :-)

My sister does do the queen bee thing. I think this is part of why she does so many things I do...to say "Oh, that's nothing, I can do that, too." My therapist told me once "Of course your sister knows how to push your buttons, she installed most of them." lol.

I am glad that I live fairly far away. That helps a lot. I don't know if she will ever change, but I did find out that she is in therapy now. That may help; we'll see. For now I try to see her as little as possible and still keep the "family peace." She is on her best behavior around certain family members she wants to impress, so I usually manage to take one of them with me when I do interact with her! "human shield." heh.

thanks for sharing your story. that lady does sound a lot like my sister.

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FREEOAK1's Photo FREEOAK1 Posts: 2,824
6/30/09 1:21 P

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Dear (((HG))), Thank you for your openness and honesty about your boundary issues. If ever I have
over-stepped into your boudaries, I apologize.

I have boundary issues, too. My counselor has often told me I need to live within a narrow parameter. I am basically a solitary, but Tom and I do attend a monthly circle. I do not attend it all the time for several reasons: The spasms; Maybe I'm insecure that month about eating after the circle; often I am in the mood to be left alone.

I do enjoy people. I do love others and find each person fascinating. It's nothing against other people, but I prefer to be a solitary.

There is a Wiccan solitary acquaintance of ours who is responsible for helping me getting started into Wicca. I will forever be grateful to her for that.

But, like your sister, she is somewhat of a bully.
I do not know if your sister is this way, but our acquaintance is a true *KNOW IT ALL* and must be the Queen Bee of EVERYTHING. There is nothing in this universe that she would admit to *not* knowing. And, it's her way in EVERYTHING or the highway.

When I discussed the idea of our Wiccan Garden and how I wanted it to be, she shot down *every single idea* of mine, stating it was not Wiccan. I *must* follow HER RULES for the garden to make it Wiccan.

As you know I did it MYYYYYYYYYYY waaaaaaay!

I feel and believe that there is no one right way. I believe if it feels right to the individual, and it HARMS NONE (Great believer in that), then do as ye will! As Pagan writer, Christopher Penczak, has said, "*YOU* are the magick!"

It was this same Pagan acquaintance who said I did not need rabies shots when I was bitten by a bat, when the Disease Control Agents at the hospital put me on "fast track" and said I needed to get started on the treatment IMMEDIATELY.

I was so cowardly with this acquaintance, that I had waited 5 (F-i-v-e) days before calling the DR and he called the hospital.

I, too, prefer to practice on a solitary basis, but I am glad that I do have a choice if I need to be surrounded by others of like minds, whether at a circle or online. I learn so much from others. But, that is me. Every person should be able to do what is right for themselves without feeling guilty, harming none.

(((HG))), (((all the other posters preceding me)))
gave some interesting, caring, loving support. You have mine, too. At this point in time, your sister may never change. Those preceding me, have said what I was thinking, but more eloquently than I could have.

Only if you wish, please keep us in the loop.

Too, she has not learned much if she touches your sacred items without permission. That is Wiccan 101.

LH*L
HARM NONE
KEEP ON, KEEPING ON O/
GODDESS BLESS
FREEOAK

emoticon

You can believe any way you want to, but it doesn't give you the right to savage another person's belief." ...Law and Order

"Do not allow anyone or any government to dictate in whom you can or can't believe...FreeOak


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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/18/09 4:56 P

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Yup, I feel like the Lady is smiling on me now. :-)

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HELSDOTTIR's Photo HELSDOTTIR Posts: 1,605
6/18/09 4:32 P

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Sometimes, the Goddess (or Universe) does see to our needs, if we ask, in unambivalent ways.

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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/18/09 4:24 P

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Yeah, and some of the same characteristics, too!

Good news,though...I hate to say that cuz I feel slightly guilty...but she called while I was having a coffee break and she isn't coming! she miscalculated the drive and ended up hitting my town at like 3pm...wasn't supposed to be here until 6...so she said she was going on to her final destination. And asked if we could drive there to see her Saturday. We have plans...so...I can go home and take all my stuff back out! lmao!




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HELSDOTTIR's Photo HELSDOTTIR Posts: 1,605
6/18/09 3:42 P

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Got it! Sorta in the same general category as borderline, huh?



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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/18/09 11:21 A

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it's "narcissistic personality disorder." Pretty much, people who have it are unable to recognize that they don't need to be the main character in life all the time. I've read about it on several websites and I swear sometimes it seems like she has it! NPD people require nonstop attention, and will do anything to get it. I think of them (and her) like one of those cats who will be totally not paying attention to the human in the room until another cat goes asking for pets, then when they see the second cat being petted, they dive into the human's lap and knock the other cat out of the way and start frantically rolling around as if they haven't been petted in years. lol, I volunteer at an animal shelter so I relate most things to cats.

anyway, I'm in for a long evening. *sigh* Wish me luck! I am an introvert for the most part, and like my quiet little life, so dealing with her memememe stuff and grandiose demands for attention is very draining! But at least my house feels secure...things hidden, everything tidied up so I can tell if anything's missing or moved, etc. Yeah, call me paranoid. :-)

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HELSDOTTIR's Photo HELSDOTTIR Posts: 1,605
6/17/09 8:11 P

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Pardon my ignorance, but what is NPD?

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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/17/09 3:06 P

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lol, the closet is in my room so I can guard it EVEN in my sleep. :-)

I am going to try to get through the visit without confrontation, so we'll see what happens. If I have to enforce my boundaries, hopefully the prescence of her friend will deter her from making a scene. She seems to care more "what people think" than "will this ruin our relationship from now on," so in a way it's good we won't be alone!

you're right, it could open the door for me to talk to her about that sort of thing in a letter. And she is in therapy now so the timing might be good. As of now we do *not* have an adult relationship...we have a pretend one. Honestly, I think she may have NPD. I myself have OCD, which I have dealt with, and mental illness runs in the family. BOTH my grandmothers had rampant cases of NPD and were always doing whatever they could to be in the spotlight. Lately, my sister has really ramped up the attention-seeking stuff because our stepbrother is getting married this summer. My mom tells me that she has semi-recognized that she may have a problem, though, and is in therapy, so hopefully things will get better. If she really is horrid at my house, I *do* need to tell her about it because that's part of enforcing my boundaries...just not that very moment. :)

and I totally agree she does NOT share my beliefs! I take "harm none" very seriously and she treats the entire Pagan path as an attention-getter.



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HELSDOTTIR's Photo HELSDOTTIR Posts: 1,605
6/17/09 1:22 P

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And lock the closet!

Good luck with telling her how you feel when your private, sacred things are not being respected. It is going to be a challenge for you to establish and enforce your boundaries in a reasonable way, without provoking a confrontation.

It is understandable that you would prefer to avoid her, since it can be hard to stand up for yourself without getting angry and perhaps losing control.

Perhaps a letter would be a good idea, so that you can collect and edit your thoughts, and explain how you feel in a calm and logical manner. (Think Mr. Spock) Because, when one is actually in the situation, it is difficult to remain detached. Emotion overcomes reason, leading to a loss of control.

If the two of you are ever to have an adult relationship, it will be necessary for both of you to set aside the old scripts. Like I said, not easy, and of course, it takes two who are both willing.

Oh, and....she apparently does NOT share your beliefs, after all. She doesn't even understand them. Good enough reason not to do magic together.
(Unless the magic is to create a healthy relationship based on mutual respect.)

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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/17/09 12:55 P

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Oh, the cluelessness is a huge part of it! goddess knows what she would bring down on my house if I let her make up her own ritual. She regularly talks about how she has "power" and can "voodoo" people.

And that's another irritation...she has no idea that magickal items are sacred...she will try to grab up my bag of stones, or tarot cards, charms, or whatever I have around that looks "paganish" and handle it. some things that's fine but others..LEAVE MY STUFF ALONE. lol.

which is why it all goes into a big box in the closet tonight! :)

Edited by: HORNED_GODDESS at: 6/17/2009 (12:55)
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CELTIC_WITCH's Photo CELTIC_WITCH Posts: 4,787
6/16/09 11:52 P

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You could always suggest that she write a ritual for the three of you. From the sounds of it, she wouldn’t have a clue as to where to begin!

¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸. ~ Korin . ~´¨)
(¸.•´~ (¸.•* ~ (¸.•*

Treasury of Gifts unending,
Open now my closed heart’s door
Waken spirit deep within me
Send me giving’s gift once more.

-Caitlin Matthews


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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/16/09 2:38 P

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thanks for all the feedback and advice. I am going to just put my foot down and say however many times necessary that I am solitary. It's not the day to have a solstice party...or a ritual...just because she happens to be coming by my house somewhere *near* the solstice. To top it all off, she is bringing a friend with her...a girl I don't know that well...and it's just weird to me that she would want to do this. I don't think the girl is pagan, either! Helsdotter mentioned boundary issues...yup, we have had them, and this feels like she is mostly showing off for her friend, to me.

Jewitch, I try very hard to see it in a "flattering" light...but mostly it just seems creepy. :-) It does not help that she was a horrible bully to me when we were growing up (I'm younger by 2 years), right up until I moved away, and suddenly wants to be like me/be my best buddy...the history makes it feel like she thinks she is entitled to whatever happiness I find in my life, in a way. Anyway I don't know how much of it is me and how much is her, but I just try to avoid her for the most part! I do wish her happiness, and that she would come into her own, but it doesn't seem like doing everything I do has helped much. She is in therapy now, though, so hopefully that will help her find what she needs to do to be happy.

Edited by: HORNED_GODDESS at: 6/16/2009 (14:41)
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WILLAMLC's Photo WILLAMLC Posts: 40,270
6/16/09 9:47 A

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It seems you have a copy cat sister. I would plainly tell her that I practice ALONE. what means me, myself and I. Good luck.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe you will achieve. Salt-N-Pepa

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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 18,823
6/16/09 2:21 A

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I too have been a practicing since I was a kid. I never fit into the formal religious groups and use to peeve my grandparents of royally. I think you should find it flattering that your sister is emulating your lifestyle and that she looks up to you. Some people take longer to coming into their own.



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SHOSHA13's Photo SHOSHA13 Posts: 125
6/15/09 7:08 P

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I belong to a small group and we do as much together as we can...
I do have a few friends who "dabble" in paganism and they usually are NOT invited to Full or New Moon rituals.
Some aren't even aware that I have a group or that "outsiders" are sometimes invited to our Sabbat Celebrations.
With your sister, it MIGHT be nice to "do a little something"... but on the other hand, with what I sense from you on the subject, I'd be more forthcoming with her and tell her you don't want to do rituals with anyone. Perhaps to soften it a bit you might stress the "ANYONE" part and not make it seem to "i don't wanna be a pagan with YOU." ya know?

I wish you all the luck... and love, light and blessings.



Shosha
Mother of the MoonHill


"There are nights when the Wolves are silent and only the Moon howls"
~George Carlin


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HELSDOTTIR's Photo HELSDOTTIR Posts: 1,605
6/15/09 5:02 P

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OOOOOhhhh, yes, that is a sticky wicket! I can certainly sympathize.

There are a number of folks, sharing my spirituality and at varying levels of friendship, that I don't necessarily want to do ritual with, for one reason or another. A lot of it has to do with the way I raise and use energy, that is not necessarily compatible with others.

Another piece is that I have very little patience with doing something a certain way "because that's the way we do it". On the other hand, there is one woman that really "makes me tired" in a mundane setting, yet in ritual, she is just great. Go figure.

From your note, however, it also "feels" like there are some boundary issues between you and your sister in particular. I understand that, also, because there are those I don't do ritual with precisely for that reason.

It is tougher when it is a sib, especially one with whom the past relationship has been a bit rocky. There may be guilt issues, resentment, jealousy, old wounds. But "She's your sister, so how can you ...?(says the Voice of Guilt)

One possibility might be to do a social celebration of the Sabbat with your sister, and do your private work the day before.

For lotsa folks, the Sabbats are more open circles, celebrated with folks that do not do Esbat work with us. I personally do not like large group ritual (unless I am acting as HP and can structure it the way I want to)

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MOTHERTOCHAOS's Photo MOTHERTOCHAOS Posts: 6
6/15/09 3:06 P

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I would simply reinterate that solitary means ALONE! :P However, in the spirit of "keeping the peace," you could thank her graciously (even if having to fake that part...lol!) for the honor of asking you to be to share it with her.

I am one who for some reason or another tends to draw all kinds of people to me, like a magnet! While I get along with most people, there are some that I can only tolerate for a very short amount of time. Somehow, these are the ones who want to be my new BFF and I am stuck trying to find a nice way to unglue them from me.

It typically only takes a few times of me "blowing them off" for them to get the point. You want to start bets on how many it will take your sister? :)

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HORNED_GODDESS's Photo HORNED_GODDESS Posts: 355
6/15/09 2:58 P

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lol. I thought I'd keep the theme...

interesting issue I'm having.

I have been pagan since I was about 14...stumbled onto druidry for a social studies project and it all clicked. I was the kid reading Buckland just before the teen witch craze happened, and all the other religious kids made fun of me. Including my own sister who is two years older.

Now, she is a pagan, too. She started talking about how she is a pagan a couple years ago. But like a lot of things, for some reason it seems she started admiring me a couple years ago (I guess when I made peace with my father, whom she is close to, and he began respecting me). She also swears she is a vegetarian, as I have been for years. And she just took up bellydance, which I've done for years...get the picture yet.

Well she is coming to my house near the solstice. Just for one night, stopping by on her way to somewhere else. And she got hold of me on a chat site and started asking if we could "do something" for solstice while she is here!

I'm a solitary...I do free-form rituals based on my own needs and whims. I have told her this in the past when she invited me to the UU circle she has attended (at holidays. she doesn't go to actually *learn* much).

I dodged for now but I may need to have the "Just because we are both pagans does not mean we are going to be pagans together" talk. I know the way she treats people...she is a horrible girl-bully...and there is NO WAY I'd want to do a ritual with her. I'm doing good to tolerate her even coming to my house; it's mostly to keep the peace, KWIM?

thoughts on explaining why you would not want to participate in any form of magic or ritual with someone who assumes that because you're also pagan, you would be totally comfy doing work with them? Argh, that assumption alone shows me she hasn't learned much!

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