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11/6/12 12:10 P

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Yeah, I agree that a tug-o-war is not good idea. Everyone loses then. At some point, you will have to adapt to his decisions, but I agree that it's a hard pill to swallow when it happens like this.

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11/6/12 9:17 A

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Thanks, Terri. I really hate the idea of having to pull the "married" thing on him, mostly because I'm afraid it will give them a reason to rush into marriage (I really think young adults should wait until they're 25 or so!), but I also don't think it's fair to me that I'm expected to give up ALL of my holidays for him to spend with HER family. However, I also don't want him to feel like he's stuck between two strong-willed women and no matter what he does, someone is not going to be happy with him. I really do think I'm not out of line on this one, but if I am, I'm open to explanations!

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11/5/12 6:11 P

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I say that you tell him that when he's MARRIED, he can establish his own family traditions with his wife; however, until then, he should do you the honor of keeping the traditions you've established for your family.

I have a DIL whose family lives locally and they (DS & wife) have a wide circle of friends who are very important to them, so there have been times that they really felt pulled on holidays. I have vowed to myself never to use emotional manipulation to have them with us, but it hurts to always be the last in line.

We have lately (the past 2 years) begun celebrating our whole-family Christmas on Christmas Eve because it's also DH's birthday. Rather than have our son have to feel torn between our family and his in-laws and friends, we just leave it up to them. I told them that, as long as Pop's alive, we will celebrate our Christmas after his birthday party on the 24th. Then my kids can all have Christmas morning in their own homes with their own kids. I still make Christmas brunch and they're all welcome to come over and eat--and we also make our big dinner on Christmas day for anyone who wants to join us, but we do our gift exchange (the adults draw names for each other and the grands draw names for a cousin) after Steve's birthday party on Christmas Eve, so they are free to do whatever they want after that. If they can't make it, then they just miss out on both Steve's birthday and our family Christmas celebration.

We have also invited others to join us when we find out a friend is going to be alone on the holiday.

I think that, if we didn't have ANY kids joining us on Christmas, we would volunteer at the Rescue Mission or visit the hospitals or something. We have a huge family who all live locally and love to gather with us; but if we didn't, I think we would find something else to do to commemorate the day.

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11/5/12 4:23 P

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Okay, nesters, Holiday dilemma - DS has been working on wheedling out of being home for the holiday for the last two years; this year I'll probably lose the battle. It ticks me off because it's because the GF wants to spend the holiday with him...she's welcome to come to OUR house, but she wants it her way. I was hoping not to have to deal with the power struggle of a GF trying to prove that DS doesn't need me, but I guess part of me always knew it was going to happen. However, this is the ONLY day I ask of my son; the other 364 are his to do with as he wishes. I am going to be one miserable momma come the 24th. How do I deal with this? I've shifted other holidays for them without a problem, but this is MY holiday and I already know I'm going to want to spend it in bed with the covers over my head if DS isn't here.

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11/5/12 3:59 P

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My parents had a real tree till we all moved out! Then they got an artificial.

I like to have a real wreath for our Advent candles but I got the candle ring that the church was throwing out/selling at the rummage sale. My youth group had bought it in the 70s. So I don't know if I'll use greenery this year or not! It is very pretty but won't set well with the greens.

We try to celebrate Advent--kept the focus off the presents when the girls were little. They would count down to Christmas with an Avon calendar--a little mouse moved from pocket to pocket--does anyone else have that? I'd love to get 2 more--one for each DD.

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11/3/12 8:21 A

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We usually go out and get a real tree in the woods. We try to find a pretty tall one and "top" it. Cut the top five or six feet off and leave the rest. They will live and even thrive, coming in fuller than before they were cut. We also have an artificial as a back-up for when the snow flies early and we cant safely drive out.
Wen I was a kid the tree always went up day after Thanksgiving. Now its whenever we can get it done. Still love to decorate it. I love pulling all the really old ornaments out like old friends. My mom dated my ones even from when I was a baby and I still have some of them.

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10/29/12 11:48 P

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When I was in seminary, I went to Mexico for January term. We traveled by train from Texas to Mexico City. It was neat seeing the Christmas decorations and tress still up and the lights. I remember going through one town at night and seeing a house with a simple lone tree lit up. I like taking my decorations down by New Years, but I remember seeing those trees and decorations and there was something special about them. I observe Ash Wednesday and Lent and like that connection of the Christmas to Epiphany to Lent. I have a friend that loves Christmas and doesn't take down her decorations until almost Easter. One year, she kept her tree up year around and just changed out the decorations.
Cindi

Edited by: CINDILP at: 11/3/2012 (11:44)
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10/29/12 10:04 P

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We like to go out and cut our own tree out of the forest. We have to get a permit from the USFS, but it's only $10. I love it when we can make it a multiple-family outing and pack food and thermoses of coffee and hot chocolate, but sometimes it doesn't work out for everyone. Last year, Steve and I took 4 of the grands out with us. I think it was Saturday after Thanksgiving and two of the kids stayed and helped us decorate it. (the other two had a party to go to, so couldn't). I prefer to take the tree down by New Year's Day--just to make a clean start to the year; however...I HAVE been known to have the silly thing up into February--just because I didn't get around to taking it down.

I love decorating, but hate undecorating.

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10/29/12 12:48 P

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I can leave most of the cookies and baked things--I just avoid making them--but I love the meats and veggies and potatoes and....so I eat too much of that stuff. Didn't do TOO bad last year but I am still trying to get those last 5 pounds to disappear and the bronchitis and now mangled finger/infection is NOT helping!

With the girls gone, I may not bake anything till Christmas! Cindi--including the boys without people around will be great--and I'm sure other son will take LOTS of food with him! (Really--a pastor almost due on Christmas Eve--we had an organist that way once but never a pastor--and I HAVE had women pastors!)

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10/29/12 8:17 A

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Decide what is really important to you enjoying the holiday and rest, don't make. Or if you are like me and love to bake, then bake and then make pretty trays and take them to different places---like maybe to your fav doctor's office, a neighbor who did you a favor this year, to the library, etc.

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10/28/12 8:32 P

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I am thinking that I can cook for the boys in my older son's apartment. One is from Korea and the other one doesn't have family close by. And my younger son is taking his lunches this year and I have a feeling he'll enjoy taking things I make. I just have to make sure I don't get into the usual trap of eating the stuff I make, especially the sugary things. I have a weakness for frosting.
Cindi

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10/28/12 8:20 P

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One thing about working in the school system, I can bake and then take it in to share with others---and the kids love it if I bring in a surprise---and they are high schoolers---LOL

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10/28/12 2:06 P

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I have to admit I have mixed feelings about the stores getting Christmas stuff in early. But, in our house when Halloween comes we kind of get into the spirit. My kids always took Halloween as the sign that Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays were next. I have one who was born Thanksgiving, so his birthday usually falls from the day before to the weekend after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving we have cake along with pie and everything else. My other son's birthday falls between Christmas and New Years. He was due on New Year's Eve, and was almost born on Christmas Eve. He was scheduled for the 29th. If I had shown up at the hospital on Christmas Eve, my doctor told me that he would have been born then. I was too worried about doing the Christmas Eve service with my congregation and doing gifts with my 2 year old. Looking back, I would have done things differently. As a pastor I loved the season, just got very drained and tired with all the things that were going on. Still I get tired of Christmas and look forward to January and normal. But, right now, there is a sense of excitement for me. I would love to find some balance in everything. One thing that bothers me is the amount of food that seems to invade our home and lives during this season. I'm trying to be intentional about that part of the holiday. If I could get to New Year's without feeling bloated and in a sugar coma, I will be good.
Cindi

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10/28/12 7:00 A

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I would have to agree with that---stores can wait til mid November or at least after Halloween----but I don't mind hearing Christmas music early. Noticed it playing back in the Christmas shop at Walmart---which is totally appropriate to me.

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10/27/12 9:52 P

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Back to the Christmas trees!! When the kids were little, the artificial tree went up Thanksgiving Sunday and would stay up till the first weekend in Jan. Now the girls are gone (empty nest) so we put it up when the first one gets home. This year, it may not go up till Dec 23--they have to drive here from WI.

When we moved to NJ, I couldn't handle the prices of real trees so we have used artificial. You can have your real--I don't like the needles!

I saw truck stops with Christmas decorations up today. TOO EARLY!!!

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10/26/12 4:48 P

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Actually, that would be nuts---that is not a fun prep at all!

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10/26/12 3:19 P

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Ba ha!! Now THAT would be funny!

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10/26/12 1:28 P

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Yeah, that would probably make me lose, unless I were competitive enough to do the prep, too, just to make it even...which I'm not!!!!

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10/26/12 1:24 P

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Dawn.. we may have to start this one next friday since I have a colonoscopy prep on Sunday. I think I would win. LOL

But yes!! I love your way of thinking!!

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10/26/12 11:24 A

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Trish,

I CAN be competitive, but I try to be nice about it - ya wanna see what we can do to keep each other going?? Maybe who can drop 2 lbs the quickest?

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10/26/12 11:10 A

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BA HA HA!!! I think I just had a seizure! Just kidding! That is pretty amazing! I don't have sound on my pc here at work but even just the lights were CRAZY! I love it!

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10/26/12 10:11 A

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Actually, it was less last year as we are slowly adding more LED lights which use less power to our decorations---think it was about $170---less than a month of ac when super hot---might even have been less as son put it on timer and it came on at 5 and went off at 9 until the last couple of weeks---then we set the timer for later---and we keep the music part down low until the last week---then have him turn it up---don't want to be rude to neighbors.
Just go to my page and to the blog section and scroll down a bit---I haven't done a lot of blogs---just not much of a blogger

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10/26/12 10:04 A

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My mom told me that when she was little Santa brought the tree. She said she would wake up Christmas morning and the tree would be there with the gifts. I think that is so cool!

I will have to check out Cathy's blog. Do you mind me asking how much your electric bill is in Jan? LOL

IAMNOT61- I used to work at a church that had a pre school in it and the very best holiday decorations came from those children. They were sooooo sweet!!! My office would be decorated with paper chains and homemade ornaments all made my the little ones. I loved it!

Dawn- Hey girl!! We are the same weight! :) Are you a competitive person? This could work in our favor..lol

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10/26/12 10:03 A

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I have too much money invested in my stuff to only have it up a short time---but I do agree there is a lot of commercialism---but I like the look and plan---that is half the fun.

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10/26/12 9:32 A

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Yep, has to be a real tree. And I know it might sound like I'm not a big fan of the holidays, but I am. I just think they get "watered down" when you start seeing holiday stuff in September and it hangs around until Valentine's Day. I appreciate it so much more when I keep it to a limited time.

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10/26/12 5:51 A

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Wish I had the space for a separate tree for Reagann---that would be fun---but we learned a long time ago to put only unbreakable stuff towards the bottom half because of the cats---and she is allowed to take some of mine off to play with---we have several stuffed Disney ones she has liked in the past years. And she does move my figures around on my house collection---I just tell her to be careful----the really special ones are put up out of her reach----and not like the cats have not broke a few in the past---LOL

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10/26/12 2:00 A

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Trish, we buy a real tree every year and we TRY to put it up 1-2 weeks before Christmas but it just depends on our schedule AND if I think the day care children will leave it alone , depends on what stages of development they are in. I do put up an artificial one for the day care children in the basement where we spend most of our time and we have tons of fun decorating it with paper, glue, glitter, yarn, etc. I would love love love to take the tree down on New Year's Day but my husband won't hear of it. It must be up until the epiphany so it doesn't come down until the middle of January. We miss the curbside pickup so we put the tree out right in it's stand in our backyard near the bird feeder so the birds can use it as a shelter.

You should check out Cathy's blog form last year if it is still there. She goes ALL OUT with decorating.

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10/25/12 6:31 P

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OH, and we have already been out looking at the new stuff out for Christmas and bought a Mickey and Minnie blow up for this year---tried last year to get a Mickey and could not find one so grabbed this one while we could.

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10/25/12 6:29 P

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OH, No, Dawn---not that short a period? do you use a real tree? You sound like my mom---she wanted it up the day before and down the day after. Think that is why I go so overboard as I love Christmas decorating.
Trish, we usually put the tree up either Thanksgiving night or the day after but usually take it down around New year's day since I go back to work the day after. But we do a lot of outdoor decorating with lights and blowups and figures---that starts usually before Thanksgiving and then I have put my house collection up before Thanksgiving---I have a hugh collection. And my dh puts tons of lights on our tree---often don't need the heat on because of it---LOL---and I am not kidding ---one year he but 3500 lights on it---that was a bit much---think last year was 2200. There is a video blog of our first Christmas at the house---we do change it every year---Michael hooks it up to a machine that makes the lights blink to the music. And since we moved we have yet to be able to figure out how to put up everything we do have---we used to have a larger yard in the front and more outlets outside---we actually had an electrician run us 5 additional outlets off new breakers so that we could put it all up.

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10/25/12 5:14 P

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Last year, Christmas Eve day! Sometimes I get it up a week before. I prefer my holidays one at a time, and like to have the tree down around New Year's day if possible.

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10/25/12 5:10 P

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Ok.. so a cold front came through today and it's COLD outside. I will have to turn the heat on when I get home. Makes me think of Christmas which makes me want to put the tree up. Ha!! I know, I know.. it's too early let's do Halloween first. :)

BUT it made me want to ask the question.. when do you put your tree up? I usually do the week of Thanksgiving or sooner if I can get away with it.

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