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3/18/13 1:15 P

Here's a little Monday inspriation!

www.c25k.com/ben_video.html

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3/11/13 7:55 P

LOVE the writers blessing ... Where did u find this ?? may I share this?

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3/10/13 2:46 P

I am new to this and I wanted, you to throw somethings out to me as I get started. I just want to be steered in the right direction. Thanks so much.

Irene

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2/4/13 11:55 P

Just wanted to share that I really liked that last part: "May you always enjoy the journey to finding those two perfect words: The End." Made me smile.

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2/4/13 9:07 A

I love it! Especially the deadlines part. :)

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2/4/13 12:11 A

That's awesome. Thanks for sharing!

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2/3/13 3:27 P

I came across this blessing for writers thought I would share.

A Writer's Blessing
May you always remember the thrill of being swept away by a really good book.
May the words you're typing on the page be as worthy as the words running through your mind.
May your deadline be behind you.
May a good story lie ahead of you.
And as we go forth
May you always enjoy the journey to finding those two perfect words: The End.

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1/31/13 9:23 A

Good advice, Sheri. Thanks. :)

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1/30/13 2:41 A

Well, one part of us can think rationally while another part thinks irrationally, but what part will bad habits and stressful reactions use to affect us? The irrational part opens us to stress. So if you can find ways to slow the stress reaction and/or distract yourself, go for it. Trying to use the rational part of your brain to counteract emotions isn't always wholly effective.

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1/29/13 8:46 A

Ooh, I like the leaving the phone at home part. And I know rationally I'll be okay, but it's still very nerve wracking. :)

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1/28/13 8:07 P

Maybe this will help a little... Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen and how will it really affect your life if it happens? I would think it could be that you wouldn't sell a single book. Is that really going to happen? Probably not. Ask your friends and family to buy a few copies and request their local libraries to buy copies of the book and you'll sell several that way. It's doubtful that not a single person beside friends and family will buy, so the chances of having it absolutely flop is not going to happen. Also, even if barely any are sold the first day, there's still the next day, the day after, and a lot of days after that for people to hear about it and buy.

It's easy to fear that you won't get what you've been working towards for so long, but holding a microscope to fear often helps it fade. Then distraction can help as well. Get a massage, run errands, schedule appointments, and either leave your phone at home or turn off internet access for several hours. Are you going to think about it? Of course. But distracting yourself to think about other things can help you to not completely obsess about it. You could even set up a reward for yourself: if you don't check it before a certain time, or no more than once an hour, or only twice in the entire day, then you will do something to celebrate your will power!

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1/28/13 9:09 A

I KNOW AND I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND. *laugh*
Actually, I get scared when I think about it. I'll probably take that day off work and get a massage or something so I'm not checking my Amazon stats every five minutes.

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1/25/13 4:37 P

Abby, that's awesome! WTG! Only a few months away.

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1/24/13 8:49 A

Thanks, Myrea. I did a little happy dance in my car after I hung up with my agent. :) The first book is being released May 7.

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1/23/13 2:54 P

Congrats Abby! That's great.

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1/22/13 9:56 P

I hope to get that post out before I got to bed tonight. i won't let perfectionism keep me hostage!

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1/22/13 9:27 A

Very interesting, SA! I have to get my brag on and say I signed with a big publisher, though as an ebook. Getting a print book in a book store is next on my list! Rejections are scary and were very tough to deal with at first, but it became easier as I went along.

Vtricia, sometimes you just need a break.

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1/22/13 12:28 A

I took it easy writing wise today, even though I had an idea for a post I really wanted to write about emotional vs. compulsive eating.

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1/18/13 5:31 P

Hi everybody! I haven't been here in a while. Kinda busy staying on top of all my conversations here at SP. Full time job! (kidding).

But I did want to share the latest info I've found about writing and publishing through a LinkedIn connection I have.

I received this post from someone on my LinkedIn network and would now like to share it all with you here. It gives pointers to look out for and be aware of when working on finding the right publishing option for your writing.

Please feel free to read it. Please consider seriously subscribing to her website as well.

Here's her link to the post:

kimberlyraeauthor.blogspot.com/2013/01/wri
ting-wednesdays-13-tips-for-writers.ht
ml?showComment=1358548040877#c54050656
21565950562

Enjoy!

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1/18/13 9:23 A

So what is everyone working on?

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1/4/13 1:43 P

When it comes to a kid, I think it's a win just to have them get the homework done, let alone checking it. haha I was awful about doing homework (mostly because I tended to be ahead of the curve in a very small town). You might want to encourage him to check his homework and make corrections as he completes it; for math homework do a problem then check it before moving onto the next. That should slow him down instead of doing a bunch of problems wrong and having to correct them all.

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1/4/13 9:09 A

I try telling this to my kid! He rushes through his homework, then spends more time fixing his mistakes. If he did it right the first time, he'd be DONE by now!

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1/3/13 1:26 P

Ah, I get it. haha Yeah I've had some random people follow me for a short time who are businesses and now one who is just RT others and there's no way I'm following them back. I'd rather put quality over quantity. At some point I'd like to be posting about my writing and such, but more like what I'm doing and less about 'do this'.

Quality over quantity goes for publishing just as everywhere else, huh? Years ago when I was doing payroll for the military it would take 2-3 times as long to do a unit's payroll, but when I did it I did it right so someone didn't have their pay screwed up. But those who put quantity first seemed to get the accolades just to have to fix a few dozen pay accounts (and cause problems for soldier's families!) later on. That's also why a first book is supposed to take so much longer - do it right the first time so it is an accurate representation of what the writer can do. For musicians, they can take 2 years to perfect an album and pay their dues on the road whereas they get about 3-6 months (if they're lucky) to do the follow-up album, which is why there's such a high prevalence of 'sophmore slump'.

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1/3/13 8:41 A

Oh, no, what I mean by spam is constant posts to BUY MY BOOK or READ MY BLOG, neither of which you do. I also stop following people that do nothing but retweet what others have said. I mean, ALL the time. If I wanted to see what the other folks were saying, I'd follow them, too! Ya know?

One of my friends asked why it was taking a year to publish my book while Other Friend published two in the same amount of time. I read the sample pages of Other Friend's book. And kept my mouth shut. :)

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1/2/13 1:23 P

There's a difference between getting constructive criticism to help us write better plus having different people have different ideas about what to do and believing that without putting an ounce of effort into learning how to be good at something that takes most people years to be good at and a lifetime to attempt to master. I'd be willing to bet you're pretty good and if you choose to read the reviews you'll find something positive you can take out of the negatives. Good constructive criticism allows us to see a new perspective and help guide us towards something new to try. The positive reviews and negative reviews that offer no feedback about how to do even better aren't much help at all.

I hope what I'm sending out is not considered spam. I'm talking with a few friends and trying to put out some positive messages. Won't do much good if I don't get more followers, but it takes time, of course. I have no interest in swearing, giving free advertising, or getting into any battles.

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1/2/13 10:11 A

Thank you, Virginia!

Sheri, it took me one session at my critique group to realize I wasn't as amazing as I thought I was. *laugh* I'm still debating whether I'm going to read my reviews once my story is published, but there's one thing I'm not gonna do, regardless of how good or bad the review is - and that's RESPOND.

As for Twitter etiquette - just don't spam. The End. :)

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12/31/12 7:57 P

Happy New Years Eve to you all, hope all of you and your loved ones are happy, healthy, and safe, if you drink please don't drive. Out with the old and in with the new.

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12/30/12 3:04 A

Some people confuse 'review' with 'be a sycophant because I'm amazing'. Writers should be open to constructive criticism because learning about your audience is part of the job. I believe that's part of what separates writers who have a chance for success and those who are content being mediocre at best.

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12/30/12 1:19 A

I understand where you are coming from. I read a lot of fanfic, and I have come across a few, that I have cringed at as well. I can forgive a lot, what I can't is when I review and they say, I don't care what you think. I think each writter wants to improve, but that one maybe not.

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12/21/12 8:23 P

I just followed you - thanks! Hope I'll learn some twitter etiquette for writers from you.

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12/21/12 9:36 A

I'm there! I'll follow you when I can get to my phone. I'm @abigailsharpe (so original, right? :).

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12/21/12 5:21 A

I decided that the day before the 'end of the world' was a good day to join twitter. haha I joined using the pseudonym I chose a few weeks ago: @ChiaraDurant https://twitter.com/ChiaraDurant It'll be awhile before I build it into anything, but it's started at least! Due to previous stalker problems I never wanted to join with my real name, so that's why I'm using the pseudonym.

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12/20/12 9:17 P

Now you see what I mean by terrible. I can handle plot holes, one-dimension characters, and occasional grammatical errors far better than the writing like that. haha

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12/20/12 9:13 A

Sheri, I got a headache just trying to follow that. WOW.

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12/19/12 8:41 P

Definitely to each their own. Though there are some fanfic writers who can't write complete sentences, have a hair trigger on the comma and period keys - or completely forget they exist, and would rather post pictures instead of explaining places, people, and clothing. If a person has an adequate hold on the English language but writes in a certain way that's another story.

For instance, I've read the 50 Shades books and I have some serious issues with the way she writes (like giving her main character multiple personalities), but a reader can still understand what she's writing about. Whereas I rolled my eyes and scoffed so many times I thought my eyeballs would pop out by the end, clearly others are enthralled by the ideas in the book.

There's a sci-fi romance series I've been reading that I'm forgiving the writer for a lot (and as the books progress I seem to be forgiving more and more) and I keep reading it. I'm wondering if she's using hundreds of product placements in hopes to get money from the companies for advertising, of if she just doesn't understand how to describe items properly. I don't need to be told 'he grabbed an alka-seltzer tablet and did the pop-pop fizz-fizz thing' - it really doesn't affect the story in any way to have it in there, but if it were an important element then it can be explained that 'he dropped an effervescent tablet in the water and swallowed the bubbling mess in one big gulp.' Because the overall concept of the series is intriguing I'm trying to ignore the parts that annoy me.

As an example, it took just a few minutes for me to find an example of what I call terrible fanfic writing:

"Ya know sometimes I have no idea wether IM coming or going" I said to myself looking in the mirror trying to get ready for work but again feeling alone not ful half Empty I guess you would say."Five minutes" My mom said poking her head through the door .All I could do was brush out the mop on my head and tie my shoes then it was time for one more day in hell.See I work at the Grille inside the Dr.Pepper Star Center In duncanville the city right outside Cedar Hill. Which IS where I live.Its bad cause somedays its busy some days its dead but no matter what its hotter than hell.Okay so I have told you where I work and how much time I have till I have to leave so how about while I tie my shoes I explain who my friends are I dont have many.Theres Melissa she's cool I have known her the longest,Theres Ashley Whos also cool I joke around alot with her I think I would bust a gut In the same room with her no matter what,And the Krissy She's also also cool We have alot in common sometimes we say the same stuff its cool.All Of them Im really close to they dont live by my sadly Two of them live in Canada and Krissy she lives up north also just not that far up north OH OH gotta go i'll talk to you again when I get to work Bye.


There's a difference between "I don't like the style but I appreciate the attempt" and "I think my brain is leaking out of my ear after the first paragraph." And believe me, I've read even worse. Not everyone can be a Dickens, Bronte, King, etc, but when the most basic rules of language are ignored, it's really difficult to enjoy reading.

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12/19/12 7:18 P

I have been a Spark member since 2008 and have been inactive for quite awhile. I need to get back to a healthy lifestyle for 2013. So when I was searching teams to join I saw this one. I just published my first novel for Amazon.com for Kindle. It is on my profile. Please check it out. If there is anyone who wants to try to publish on Amazon for Kindle, I might be able to help with some of your questions. The procedures and process can be a bit overwhelming. In any event, here is a synopsis of my novel.

Alexa Kincaid is living the American dream. She is married to David
Cooper, a handsome pediatrician, has a successful criminal law practice,
and a beautiful home on the Chesapeake Bay. But her dreams are soon
shattered when she finds out that the woman she's representing in the
biggest trial of her career, Rachel Mills, reveals a secret that
threatens her marriage to David. It will take all of Alexa's strength to
set aside her personal feelings for a woman she so desperately wants to
hate, in order to successfully defend her in court. Along the way, Alexa
learns some powerful lessons about love, guilt, and jealousy. Upon
searching the depths of her own soul to find the true meaning of
forgiveness, she receives a gift from Rachel that changes her life
forever.

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12/19/12 10:14 A

Ah, but what's terrible to you might be amazing to someone else. :) Like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I had such a hard time getting into it (I actually laughed out loud when I read the email address - not because it was funny, but because there was no need to put that much information in the story) but once I got used to the writing style, I was hooked.

I tried Twilight, couldn't get into it. Thought the stalking of a young girl and disguising it as love was too creepy.

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12/17/12 5:43 P

The fanfic I used to read was based on bands or tv shows. Like you, sometimes it was odd to read those based on tv show characters because it's so different than what's intended by the writers and the actors. When it's about the actors or bands - real people - then usually it's funny to read because you know the writer has absolutely no knowledge about who the people really are and their characterized versions say far more about the writer than they ever will about the real people.

My favorite fanfic ever was had a sci-fi element that was written so realistically and grounded that it really was AU. A few of the characters were based on a band, but it only used them as a paint-by-number to not need to start the characters from scratch in the reader's heads. If she changed the names and just a few identifying features she could've published it as a great young adult sci-fi novel.

The main reason I used to read it was for the hilariousness. Being able to read such ridiculous 'crap' gives the brain a rest from wanting to pick apart a good story to find what one likes and doesn't like - and so I could honestly laugh until I was sick. Though isn't it true that writers should read many different things - great to terrible - to find their footing on what works and doesn't work?

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12/17/12 9:01 A

I don't read fanfic. Not that I have anything against it, but I have a hard time reading about characters NOT the way the author intended. Or even real people - like, I can't read Jane Austen, Detective stories or anything like that.

Even though I do have to admit my first NaNo novel was a fanfic of Pride and Prejudice. Not that I thought about it at the time. :)

I have to be really careful when more-novice-than-me writers ask me to read their stuff. I have to figure out if they want an honest critique or just want to be told that it's good. And if they want an honest critique, how much of one to give them.

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12/16/12 9:59 P

Not sure if the link will work or not, but I'll give it a shot: twitter.com/search?q=%23dumbfanficmoments&
src=tren On Twitter #dumbfanficmoments was trending earlier. I have spent way too long reading these because they're so incredibly hilarious! I'm not on Twitter but I was looking for something specific and noticed it trending.

So I want to share a story. To be honest, over 10 years ago I used to be acquainted with a band that girls wrote fanfics about. At the same time I had a friend who wrote fanfics; she did not know I was acquainted with the guys. Well, she started asking me to read her fanfics and let her know what I thought. She'd written probably 2 dozen of them (on several different bands) and had them on a website, while talking them up like it was incredible writing. Unfortunately, from then on I had to avoid all discussion about writing because it was like a monkey threw up on the keyboard and it was written as she cleaned it up. It was some of the worst fanfic I had ever read, and I used to read a lot of them. Then I read the stories about the guys I knew and wanted to throw up. Of course I didn't expect her to get their personalities right or really know anything about them, but to read such horrific writing about guys I knew made me wonder why anyone would ever want to read something posted online. haha

Has anyone else ever written/read fanfic? I know there are a few good ones out there (I've read some incredible writing that just happened to be fanfic), but it's so hard to find any that are worth reading! Still, sometimes I want to read terrible writing just so I can laugh at it.

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12/13/12 12:50 P

What do you write, Merrick?

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12/13/12 10:47 A

Hello everyone! So is anyone having a good or bad writing day? Seriously I am desperate here, I haven't written with any focus in months it's killing me to not have the motivation.

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12/7/12 8:39 A

Boo on the bad place.

Yay on the pen name!

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12/6/12 11:01 P

I'm sorry I haven't responded; I've been in a very bad place mentally lately.

I think I decided on Chiara Durant. As a lot of people said, it seems to flow nicely. And since I didn't find a significant online presence for anyone with that name, there won't be a big chance of confusion.

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11/30/12 8:26 A

So what name have you decided upon?

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11/19/12 4:58 A

I posted a blog about some ideas for my pseudonym. I'd like to get thoughts from several people. Check it out if you have a few minutes.

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11/18/12 5:32 P

It seems to me that it's now commonplace for families to have serious dysfunction for one reason or another. It's been said that every family is messed up in their own way. I'm sorry to hear about your family troubles, JEMB48. It's great that you've found your way to SP to help you be healthier.

Unfortunately for me, I'm severely ill and can barely care for myself. I should be able to lean on my family, but that's obviously not a healthy choice. So I'm at a place where I must choose clearer mental health and forever searching for help from people with no ties to me, or profound mental, emotional, and potential physical abuse with a roof over my head and someone to do household chores. So as much as I want to say I won't let them control me, I'm at a severe disposition. For me, my only choice is to hide who I truly am to safeguard myself from their problems, to hedge for a future in which I may have no other choice but to throw myself to their will.

Edited by: 1STATEOFDENIAL at: 11/18/2012 (17:47)

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11/18/12 10:55 A

Having crazy families or just a crazy life seems to be a key to being a writer, and, unfortunatly seems to be key in emotional eating. I am one of 5 siblings, 3, the boys, are seriously afflicted alcoholics and two of us, the girls, are obese. My career was spent sitting: commuting; in meetings; pouring over plans and documents. I got larger and larger without even realizing it. In 2008, I was fired from my job, but was actually so relieved I could hardly contain myself. The very next day my youngest brother called to say he was being transported to the hospital so I drove to another town, 100 miles away, to be with him. That started my journey toward losing 30 lbs and getting into better physical shape. I did well until 2011 when I had to deal with the dismantling of my parent's home where two of the brothers lived. It was a long, awful ordeal that included threats of murder, suicide and the SWAT team. I gained most of the weight back and hurt again in my knees, back, etc. I have been circling SparkPeople for many months but feel I am finally at the point where I can commit. My heart goes out to all of you dealing with family issues especially at this time of year. Try to look at each person as you would a character you might put in a book. See your family as individuals who have no control over you. It is hard not to react but recreating your responses, even the amount of time spent amoung them, is all up to you. Best wishes for our success!

Edited by: JEMB48 at: 11/18/2012 (10:57)

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11/16/12 6:55 P

I'm sorry if I offended, Myrea. My point was that you are all you need to be, so don't forget to encourage and support yourself as much as your brother.

My family has never been supportive of me unless I'm doing exactly what they want me to do in every way. When I chose to move from central WI to Minneapolis my parents flipped out and my mother even made vague threats. My sister barely speaks to me and if I mention anything about MN she gets upset. My father even told me that while I'm seriously ill I'm not good enough for anyone to want to help me. If I publish the novel I want to publish, a dramatic romance with a theme about how important perspective is, or another idea I have for a supernatural romance, they will demean and ridicule me to save face. Then my mother will think that every event I write must have happened to me and she will attempt to lock me up so I can't be in public where I can hurt myself (by meeting men). Thus, if I can accomplish this, then it's much better for me to keep it a secret from them as long as possible.

I wish I could have support from my family, like you give your brother, but I'm my own support.

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11/16/12 12:18 P

a) My family is insane, literally, figuratively, and deceptively. Anything dramatic that I write and publish they will think is real and that their world will crumble because I'm telling the entire world that their daughter is damaged.
-------------

Funny, I'm kind of looking forward to that. Not from my parents. My parents are completely supportive. But I have some cousins and aunts that will freak out if they find out I wrote a book with magic, demons, and more importantly, the hero and heroine are Catholic and atheist, respectively.

I relish the anticipation of their collective apoplexy with glee.

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11/16/12 10:37 A

I'm not jealous of his style, or trying to imitate him.

I'm just stating a fact. He's got style -- a very distinctive voice that fits his type of writing (literary fiction.)

I expect, if he ever actually writes a book instead of just putting out a short story every few months, he'll be right up there with Chuck Palahniuk, Chuck Klosterman and Bret Easton Ellis.

While I asipre more toward Jim Butcher, Joss Whedon and David Eddings - straight forward narrative that hopefully evokes an emotional response based on the story being told rather than as a response to the way it's crafted.

Edited by: MYREALANA at: 11/16/2012 (10:42)

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11/16/12 8:58 A

Great advice, Sheri! I used to mourn the fact that I couldn't write like Diana Gabaldon. Then I realized that Diana Gabaldon can't write like ME. :)

I think your reason C for using a penname is kinda funny. :)

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11/15/12 7:06 P

Don't forget that writing is about expression, not comparison. It's wonderful that you support and admire your brother. You should also admire yourself. No matter who around you succeeds in something, if you succeed at it too you have just as much right to celebrate and be proud. Just because you can't match his style doesn't mean you can't be amazing at your own style.

If a hockey player tried to play baseball they'd do horrible, and vice versa. Does it make either better (besides personal preferences) at life? Nope. They are different ways of being great. Even in writing, can you say that Stephen King is better than Danielle Steel or that Tolstoy is better than Dickens and the Bronte sisters? They each were great successes BECAUSE they are different.

Admire and support your brother and the other writers, then use them for inspiration to find your own style and voice. Then you can be great too!

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/quotes_transl
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11/15/12 10:00 A

I went to a reading last night at Regis University. My brother was giving a reading of his latest short story. He's a professional theater actor in additional to a writer, so his readings are more like a one-man show than simple readings.

His writing and reading are amazing. I can never hope to match my little brother's style. The only thing I have over him is volume. He only puts out a couple of stories a year.

The other reader that night was fascinating to me, though. She has written a memoir, but it reads like fiction, and her process was a lot like putting a novel together. She had to worry about pacing and where to reveal certain things, and how to engage a reader emotionally, but still keep it all factual.

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11/14/12 8:50 P

I have several reasons to need a pseudonym:
a) My family is insane, literally, figuratively, and deceptively. Anything dramatic that I write and publish they will think is real and that their world will crumble because I'm telling the entire world that their daughter is damaged. That is if they ever believe that it is worth reading more than burning.
b) My friends/ex-friends/acquaintences could mistake my characters, who are loosely based on a combination of people I actually know and characteristics I established for dramatic effect, as being them. Ridiculous backstabbing would ensue.
c) There's a promenently published psychologist who has my same name. If someone were to google my name they would see her work and might mistake me for her. I prefer to be highly differentiated from her work.
d) If I ever did start getting attention for my writing I don't want to be easily tracked down. Adoring fans or hateful psychotics, I would rather remain a little anonymous and avoid all types of stalking.

Unfortunately, I've never even been given a good nickname (that can be used in print anyways). So this search is happening from scratch, and it will take awhile to find something I like and that will work. Unfortunately, perhaps my favorite name ever is the name of one of my characters so I can't even use it. haha

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11/14/12 2:47 P

Finally got a chance to see another movie. My Fat Samurai Reviews guest review of Skyfall is up.

fatsamuraireviews.blogspot.com/2012/11/sky
fall-guest-review.html

Isn't is horrible the way you can find those little typos or tweaks you should have made in your writing only after it's already published?

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11/14/12 11:34 A

I didn't change my name when I got married - not through any real sense of feminism but more through a sense of laziness. After having changed back to my maiden name from my previous married name only two years earlier, it just seemed like too much of a hassle to change everything again.

I planned to publish under my husband's last name, because mine is long, Welsh and hard to pronounce. But in conversations with several editors, they've all suggested using my own name because of its distinctiveness.

I think the closest I'll come to using a pseudonym is to use only my first two initials rather than my first name in the publishing credits.

When I have some.

Which will not be soon enough.

Edited by: MYREALANA at: 11/14/2012 (14:46)

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11/14/12 8:52 A

That's what I did. I don't think my agent knew my name before she got my story, but she did tell me she googled me and found a ton of stuff.

Though not all matches for Abigail Sharpe are me. But a lot of them are.

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11/14/12 4:59 A

I was at another writing class yesterday; this was about how to contact an agent. After class I stayed to ask her about using a pseudonym for publishing. She recommended to come up with the name and start gaining attention online with it now, so that when it comes time to get in touch with an agent the name will already have a following. So now I need to come up with the pseudonym.

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11/11/12 12:53 A

While I was in Target tonight I wandered through the entertainment area. Wow, the price of books is crazy! I didn't realize how much some novels are going for lately. Krikies. I was worried about having to price the motivational book I'm working on higher just to make money on it, but wow I guess it's not so ridiculous after all.

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11/8/12 10:34 P

Well said. Remember, too, that the author of "The Help" had her manuscript rejected something like 597 times. After it was published as a book, then came the movie. So let's never give up. -- Lou

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11/8/12 7:20 P

I'm sure a part of you knows this, but never losing and being perfect is impossible. Perfection is failing at being normal. Every time you try and don't succeed the first time actually adds to your character. It's not fun being told you didn't make the cut, but if everyone succeeded every time they attempted, who would care and put in any effort?

Take heart that if you believe in what you've done and other's believe in what you've done, then it's worth the effort to go through the whole process, including the rejections. Having faith in yourself and the process can lead you to great rewards.

Did you know that people in their 20s and 30s average a job change every 3 years? This is because there is little upward growth within companies so they change companies to move up. People like me (when I was still able to work) knew it was worth the chance of rejection in order to get the reward of more pay, more responsibility, better perks, etc. No one likes losing (unless maybe a serious masochist), but one rarely achieves greatness/success/goals without risking failure and rejection. So even when it comes to your job, imagine what you could get if you tried sending out some resumes and applications? You might get turned away but you could also get more pay and benefits. (Not that you should, I'm just making a point.)

Looking at it from another point of view, what if the agent didn't have the time and effort to give to your book right now? What if instead s/he had taken it and left it in a stack for years because they were too busy? You would've gotten the agent but lost the book to nothingness. Maybe being turned down saved you from such a fate. Perhaps it will take two or a dozen chances to find someone who can make your book into a big success. If that's the case, isn't it better to be turned down by those who currently don't have the ability (lack of time, too many authors on their plate already, maybe they're on the outs with some publishing companies, etc) so you can find someone who does?