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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (69,462)
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5/30/17 12:50 A

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Not in pain at the moment, so good!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
5/29/17 3:18 P

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Even though my husband and I are not speaking, I'm in a good mood.

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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (69,462)
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5/28/17 11:43 P

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Tired

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
5/27/17 4:06 A

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In the weeee hours of this Saturday morning, still Friday night for me, I'm good.

Feeling reflective and at peace in this tumultuous world.

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5/26/17 2:16 A

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Up and down.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
5/25/17 12:18 P

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Pretty good.

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
5/8/17 11:32 P

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My mood is okay, I'm feeling a little depressed and afraid.

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5/3/17 2:29 P

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Not too bad today. Actually pretty good.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
5/1/17 1:24 P

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Relieved and feeling blessed.

Edited by: KAUAICAROLANN at: 5/1/2017 (13:33)
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/30/17 8:57 P

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A little rough but mostly good.

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4/27/17 5:18 P

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Good! Got some good sleep last night and I found out I have a little spare money ($10) for the month! (I thought I was in the red)

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/27/17 9:06 A

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A little anxious, tired due to no sleep and nervous about the new job.

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4/26/17 4:29 P

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I'm unstable today.. my Borderline is acting up.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/26/17 12:57 P

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Okay. Nothing good, nothing bad.

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4/24/17 5:44 P

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I've been good in the day, and bad at night. Nightmares, trouble sleeping.. just getting things out, I guess.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/24/17 5:13 P

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Just okay. Caught a cold and feel lousy.

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4/18/17 8:56 P

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I'm on the way to L.A. and I'm somewhere over Texas on the plane. Going through crazy mood swings but otherwise okay.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/18/17 3:45 P

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Pretty good. It's going to be a busy week though. Hope I don't get overwhelmed.

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4/14/17 12:01 P

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Thinking a lot... I'm glad I'm moving, but at the same time, I don't want to. My life here is okay... but I know it can get better when I'm actually home with my family again.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/14/17 11:52 A

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I'm okay, pretty good in fact.

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
4/4/17 12:17 A

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Sad, really sad. We took Mom's ashes to the Houston National Cemetery today
Ticked off, too. My husband is an ass...won't go any further on that subject.

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4/3/17 7:21 P

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Really depressed. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live, either. If I think I'm going to do something bad, don't worry. I will call 911 for help or check myself in.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 420
4/3/17 4:22 P

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Pretty darn depressed still. Not sure why I am still in a funk over a misogynistic and dangerous ex-friend, but I am. Have had a tension headache for the past week and it isn't letting up. Been focusing on what I want for my next tattoo to keep me busy. It is sorta working.
--Heather



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3/31/17 6:55 P

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Good! Pretty stable, good sleep... just a bit of pain. I'm happy today!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
3/31/17 4:06 P

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I'm zoned out today. Pretty much okay with staring at the wall.

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3/29/17 10:03 P

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I was a bit hypomanic today, but otherwise stable.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
3/29/17 9:46 P

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Sad, bordering on depressed. Angry...but that's part of the grieving process.
I'm ticked off and disappointed in my husband.

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3/27/17 8:20 P

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Mostly depressed. Been stuck in bed for 2 days and I just want to get out and do stuff, but I'm too weak and in too much pain. I have to get out tomorrow!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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PATTISWEET1's Photo PATTISWEET1 SparkPoints: (5,260)
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3/26/17 11:33 P

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Today has been stable. I've felt better and eaten better today than yesterday. Yesterday I went shopping with my niece and we both ate some yummies we normally never indulge in. But we're never in that town (2 hours away). It was fun to get out of town and have fun. :)

One Day At a Time.


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3/26/17 4:32 P

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Good, despite a CRAZY 24 hours!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
3/26/17 11:58 A

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Struggling not to be depressed and not to go down the rabbit hole...

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3/25/17 12:12 P

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Not too bad... I got on the scale this morning and I was up to 239 and I felt down, but I recovered quickly and I'm just normal/slightly depressed.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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PATTISWEET1's Photo PATTISWEET1 SparkPoints: (5,260)
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3/24/17 7:48 P

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Today I am down. Just mostly quiet and tired. I had been manic I guess. My sleep quality is bad.

One Day At a Time.


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3/17/17 2:39 P

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Okay.... Got some good sleep last night but not feeling all that great.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
3/17/17 12:06 P

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Zoned out, feeling like I'm in a fog....it's to be expected though.

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WALLOWA's Photo WALLOWA Posts: 2,249
3/16/17 3:14 P

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anxious.

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3/16/17 2:35 P

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I'm good today... I got a lot of sleep last night and feel good. I went to work yesterday for a bit, so it was nice to be busy. I think I'm dealing with all the crap I've been going through lately well... I know when I move, it will all finally hit me. I'm trying to prepare for that.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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BGARNER-M's Photo BGARNER-M Posts: 40
3/16/17 3:21 A

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Bad...I have the I don't care attitude when it comes to my work. I have the depressed feelings because of struggles in my personal life and with the weight loss. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. emoticon

It's always darkest before the dawn...it will get better!


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3/13/17 2:26 P

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*hugs Carol* You can call me if you want to talk.

I'm good! Even though Geo and I aren't together anymore, I'm seeing the good in life. I feel free!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
3/13/17 10:09 A

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Sad, very sad.

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3/8/17 7:00 P

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I'm better today. Geo and I went to therapy, and we got positive results. We both are going to see her next week for individual therapy... hoping that goes well!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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WALLOWA's Photo WALLOWA Posts: 2,249
3/8/17 6:00 P

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Mean as a snake disturbed by hikers picking blackberries. Or on the edge of it.

Three seizures this morning due to fluorescent lights at the dr. office this a.m. (triggered by the vibration of the light tubes). I tried to make myself clear when I could tell it was happening, but -- no hearing happened til it was too late. Makes me grumpy, as have several other quite innocuous things.

I'm going to go hide deeper in the blackberry brambles so no bridges get burnt (or hands get bit!) Chchchchchccchh! (That's the snake rattling :) )




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3/7/17 7:10 P

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Still mood swinging... I am going to ask my psych about either upping my Neurontin or trying something else. I'm going through Hell with everything going on and I don't really want to start a new med if I'm going to be moving soon, but it's just so hard to stay stable with everything going on.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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3/6/17 3:41 P

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Mood swinging... Geo was upset this morning, so I got a bit upset too... I have a headache and have been going between upset, depressed, and just in pain.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
3/5/17 5:30 P

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Hi,

I feel marginally blue, not depressed but blue. I am on Prednisone for my sciatica and it makes me very emotional. I am so happy that I only have three days left on this stuff. It is a steroid and it makes me feel so distanced.

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

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3/5/17 4:43 P

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Anxious but managing, marginally. Old drunk at the grocery store made a nasty comment about dumb women today. Kinda wanted to pop him one. Got away, burst into tears.

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3/5/17 12:28 P

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Much better for the most part. I figured out that it was too much Trazadone that was making me dizzy and out of it, so I took less last night and I feel better. My only problem today was that when I was throwing out junk into the trash it stank and I felt like throwing up. Other than that I've been good!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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3/2/17 4:32 P

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I don't know how I am doing today. Geo and I had an argument and I had a big anxiety attack. I'm dizzy and out of it. but otherwise I feel good. I got a nice present from my aunt today so that cheered me up as well. I hope y'all are doing good!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
3/2/17 8:30 A

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Tired. I couldn't sleep last night and it is bothersome this morning. I am not grumpy or out of sorts, at least not yet. I have my morning coffee, so we'll see how the rest of the day pans out.

Larissa, I am glad that you were in such good space as you prepared for your mother's service. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

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ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

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2/15/17 11:28 P

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Good. Had fun with my family today, and prepared for my Mom's service on Saturday, It sounds funny having a good time sorting pictures for a funeral, but it's really not bad.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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2/14/17 4:40 P

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I am feeling so odd and unusual in that I feel NORMAL! I have felt NORMAL for 23 days, which I think must be a new record for me. I haven't felt this way for a long long time. It feels good but I keep expecting someone to pull the carpet out from under me, if you know what I mean.



"Look for the positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder"

-Unknown.


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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 420
2/14/17 2:55 P

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Hypomanic and on the verge of mania. Eating only happens when I force myself. We shall see how long this lasts and until it breaks I am riding high--just have to make sure that I don't go too high.

So I sit on the dangerous game of mania.
-Heather



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2/6/17 2:55 P

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Thanks, Deb :)

I am doing better today. I still miss my mom, but I don't feel as sad. Things are going okay. I'm pretty much content.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
2/6/17 9:36 A

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Today my mood is contemplative ! I am sort of non plused and out of the main stream of things today. The beginning of the week leaves me with staggering responsibilities, so I am trying to plan my day.

Larissa, my thoughts and prayers are with you !! emoticon emoticon emoticon


Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

Portland, Or

Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

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1/31/17 5:22 P

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Sad. See my post in General Discussion.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
1/29/17 5:46 P

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I am thoughtful and I am tired because I was in Vancouver, Wa, visiting my son's family and my two year old grandson literally ran me ragged. It was great exercise, but I am exhausted today after spending my morning doing the same thing ! Now that I am home again, I am feeling rather thoughtful and grateful.

Kauaicarolann, I hope that you get better sleep tonight and that it leaves you feeling fresh and feeling good !!,



Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
1/29/17 9:57 A

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I didn't sleep well...hubby coughing & tossing and turning and THREE dogs in the bed.....I woke up cranky.

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
1/28/17 4:13 P

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I am feeling excited - going to spend family time today with my son, daughter, daughter in law and my two grandsons !! I am happy that we will all be together today !!

Larissa, have a nice plane ride today. I spell my name just like your Mom when I am signing as Debi. Try to be calm when you arrive and enjoy your sister and brother while you are there. It is a sad visit I know, but you can all help give each other support. Sending you positive energy and hugs. Take care and God bless, Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

Portland, Or

Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder



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1/28/17 11:19 A

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Thanks and great job, Deb!

I am doing okay. I leave later to see my mom and I'm half stressed and half calm. I was talking to Geo's mom last night (her and I are close) and she was telling me how her mom died in her arms. I can't get that image out of my head (hence the stress) but his mom was also telling me that I just have to let go (hence the calm). Just ready to see her, see my brother and sister, and just be at peace. My mom is suffering, so she is ready to go. If you want to pray for her, feel free. I don't believe in God, but she does and I can appreciate the power of prayer. Her name is Debi. *hugs*

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
1/27/17 7:55 P

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My mood is escalated. Just got back from the doctor and my 6 month check up. I have lost weight and I have brought my blood sugar down to normal from pre diabetic !!

Larissa,

You can do this. You are strong ! Remember you will have family to help you. I am saying prayers and sending you positive energy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers while you are gone.

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder



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1/27/17 5:20 P

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Stressed... all my family now knows about my mom and I am getting calls. I'm going up there tomorrow, so I have to be strong.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
1/27/17 3:58 P

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Very good. Getting a lot accomplished today!

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1/23/17 8:19 P

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Today, I'm irritable and slightly anxious and happy. Ah...the joys of a mood disorder! All three of these are situational. I would say my baseline today is fairly calm. As for the above three:
1) irritable because it's that time of the month
2) slightly anxious because I may or may not have work this week and don't know what to expect
3) happy because after 3+ years, my car accident claim is completely over

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1/23/17 6:15 P

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Depressed and in pain. I am splitting with Geo and my mom is dying quickly. She has less than 6 months and I don't think she is going to last more than a month. She was telling me the other day that she was going to try to hold on until my brother, sister and I are there next week. Just too much going on but I am not suicidal.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
1/22/17 1:00 P

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Great - going to my grandson's second birthday party today, so am looking forward to being with family. emoticon Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

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ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
1/22/17 12:33 P

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Pretty good.
Really sleepy though.

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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
1/9/17 10:57 A

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Pretty good.
Last week sucked pond water, but that is behind me now.

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1/2/17 4:52 P

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Great! I got all my meds for free and got a ton of stuff for free or super cheap at CVS.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
12/31/16 2:19 P

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Today my mood is contemplative !! Reconsidering the events of 2016 and trying not to make the same mistakes in the New Year.

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

Portland, Or

Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder



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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
12/31/16 1:47 P

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Yes, tired....it's been a busy 36 hours.

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
12/29/16 5:18 P

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Tired - didn't sleep well last night !

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

Portland, Or

Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder



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12/29/16 12:03 P

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Happy

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 13,700
12/28/16 11:39 A

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Gratefull !!

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson

Deb

PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast

Portland, Or

Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team

ML of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge

Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder



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12/27/16 4:23 P

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Tired, and ready to go home.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
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Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!


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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 56
12/26/16 11:15 A

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Not good, not bad....just here. A little on the zoned out side, though good Kona coffee is helping.
emoticon

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JUSTPEACHYGA's Photo JUSTPEACHYGA SparkPoints: (11,653)
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12/24/16 2:11 A

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I just "am". I don't feel depressed. I don't feel hypo. I just feel "there". Fourth day and only 10 hours of sleep total for these 4 days. My body is exhausted and yet fighting the sleep for some reason.

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12/23/16 8:39 P

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Much better. I haven't been sleeping because it's way too hot at my mom's, and her roommate just lent me his fan and I got some good sleep. That, and I talked to a good friend and vented a bit about having to take care of my mom all the time since her husband is making me do everything for her so he gets a break. I was exhausted, sweaty, and tired and with a little alone time with the fan I feel much better. I know I will sleep better tonight and tomorrow will be better.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" Whitney Houston

5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Fall 2016
5% Challenge Member, Cloverleafs Winter 2017, In-Between Leader
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Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!


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JUSTPEACHYGA's Photo JUSTPEACHYGA SparkPoints: (11,653)
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12/22/16 9:38 A

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Well, I've been hypomanic the past couple of days. Up for 38 hours, slept for 4, and then back up again for the day. I made sure to the put bank card away on the shelf so that while I am out today I don't use it. I've been in a bubble of sorts for the past 2 months so that I can work on inner healing and getting my environment stable. I get impatient though so I came out of the "bubble" for a little bit 2 times this past month. Mistake. I was like a turtle who had to quickly snap their head back into it's protective shell. It was too much. I was triggered after only a few hours. So, back in the bubble even though it is the holidays so even the bubble is feeling awful now because of guilt.

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