First of all, here is a link to the Spark Tri Team. Read some of the posts, and ask any questions you have. www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
The first thing to figure out is what to wear. I'd suggest getting tri shorts. The padding is thinner than regular cycling shorts and you can run and swim in them in relative comfort. And go commando! Wet underwear is not fun for the majority of the race. The tri shorts will wick moisture away--you will be more comfortable.
And I need to ask is what kind of swim is it--pool, lake, river, ocean? I would have different suggestions for each. But regardless, bring a large bottle of water--and maybe a bucket--to rinse yor feet off before putting on the cycling shoes. Don't stress out about your swim technique. Just try to finish without sending your heartrate through the roof. Do the breaststroke, sidestroke or backstroke as you need them. You won't be the only one.
Next is the transition from swim to bike. So you have determined your clothes. I'd guess you are coming out of the swim in just your tri shorts. You get to your transition area, clean and dry your feet, put on socks and shoes, pull on a cycling shirt, THEN your helmet, suglasses and gloves. Unrack your bike and hit the road. Spin easy to get rid of the wobblies from the swim before you push to hard, but enjoy the bike. I know 9 miles is nothing for you, so enjoy it.
Then you return to the transition area. Rack your bike, change shoes (I think you have clipless pedals for your bike--it that right?), remove your helmet and gloves. Head on out. Don't worry about running the whole thing. Actually, I usually PLAN to walk part. I usually surprise myself, despite the fact that I *hate* running.
So overall, on race day, I'd eat whatever you usually eat for a long ride. You don't want to mess with nutrition if you already found something that works. I usually leave an appropriate snack in the transition area (TA) just in case I need it. Get there on the early side so you can set up your TA. Know what you need for T1 and T2 and have everything accessible.
I think an hour is a reasonable goal, but don't be dissapointed with longer. You know what your bike is like (fast!) but the swim is an unknown, as are the transitions. Most races will break it down for you in the results, so you can look at it separately.
For prep, yes, I'd make a point of getting in some runs and swims. Use the bike as easy days. (Actually you still have enough time for one of your group rides, if you want.) Also, practice "bricks"--that is, the transition from one event to the next. Bring your bike down to the pool, swim the best you can for 10 minutes, and then jump out, dry off, and transition as you anticipate in the race. Hop on your bike a ride a quick 5 miles. That will give you an idea of the wobbly legs you'll get. The next brick (on another day), go for a hard short bike ride, and then secure your bike and go for a mile run. Once again, you'll know what to expect in the legs on race day. With only 10 days to go, I wouldn't do much more than that in terms of bricks, but continue to workout and vary your training. Give yourself a light day before the race.
From your competitve mindset, and how well you achieve your goals that I've seen on other posts, I think you will love this race. So don't forget to sign up next year, and compare your times. Most importantly, look forward to racing with your kids AND with your wife. I'll be thinking of her on July 1st.